Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
mercredi 5 avril 2017
15 Ways Breastfeeding Completely Messes With Your Sanity
We're happy to present this article by Elizabeth Broadbent from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.
Everyone knows that postpartum moms are a little bit nuts. There's the hormones, the sleep deprivation, and the I-just-popped-a-baby-from-my-vagina-or-got-one-cut-out-of-me thing.
She has shared charge of an actual human being, who will expire if left sitting on the middle of the floor for too long. This would make anyone crazy.
Then, add breastfeeding into the mix. Breastfeeding moms are no more or less crazy than formula-feeding moms, but breastfeeding makes you crazy in ways formula feeding doesn't. I know - I've full-term-nursed three kids.
I loved mostly every minute of it, but I know I seemed downright insane to most of the non-nursing world. Here's why:
- You see your nipples as merely another bodily appendage.
No more are they special, secret places you keep under wraps at all times. No way. Your nipples are now food delivery devices.
Your baby will turn his head and stretch them in ways you never thought possible. And if you pump, what happens to your nipples will look like something from a fetish video. You won't care about any of these things. - You become proud of your boob size.
Big or small, medium or in between, you're proud of those hooters, because they're keeping a human being alive. Your bras may range into the middle end of the alphabet - and more properly be termed "harness" - but dammit, they're feeding little Braylynn. High-five, boobies! - You develop a nickname for your boobs.
You'll ask your baby if they want ta-ta, or milkies, or na-nas, possibly even boobie. When other people overhear you, they'll look at you like you just shouted the word "penis" in a crowded hallway. - You plan your wardrobe around your boobs and access thereof.
You can't go to the mall in that dress, because even if it does fit you from your postpartum days, you can't get to the ladies. Your husband in particular will not understand this.
When you don't do the two-shirt trick (one up, one down), you'll mostly settle for V-necks you can pull over. - At first, you worry endlessly about who can see your breasts.
You use a nursing cover. You pull and tug and do everything in your power to make sure no one sees so much as a millimeter of skin, you dirty, dirty girl.
Nipples are private, and nursing is private, and you're terrified someone might see what you're doing. - Then, you stop caring who sees, in a radical way.
Take a good long look, Trucker Man. Baby has to eat, and I need to feed him, so you're going to see some titty along the way. Get over it - it's a human breast, and you see more of that on a Victoria's Secret model than you do on nursing mother, anyway. - You fantasize about getting yelled at for nursing.
This is either your worst nightmare (see lady with the cover), or you're ready to go toe to toe with management over your right to nurse in any establishment you have the right to be in.
But you think about it on a regular basis, plan what you would say, and what you'd tell your girlfriends afterwards. - You taste your own breastmilk.
Anyone who says they haven't is a liar, liar, pants on fire. At some point in your nursing career, you absolutely have to see what it tastes like. Just once. For the record: vanilla ice cream. - You obsess about your "supply."
For those not in the know, "supply" means how much breastmilk you're producing at any one time. You might worry you have oversupply and that's why baby's throwing up. Or that you have low supply, and baby isn't peeing enough.
While worries about supply will fade as baby gets older, they never quite go away. You'll find yourself wondering if your growing toddler needs extra milkies when it's hot outside. - All of a sudden, you can imagine nursing a toddler.
Before you said uh-uh, no way, supergross . . . once they can ask for it, they should be cut off. Or once they have teeth, they should be finished.
But as your baby gets bigger, you slowly realize that when you make the decision to keep nursing every single day, you're eventually nursing a toddler. And your toddler is still such a baby. Full-term nursing for the win. - Unless you're a saint, you go through a phase where you judge formula-feeding moms.
Thinking your choice is far superior to theirs is a way for you to validate your own choice and feel that you're raising your child the right way. Insecure new moms need that validation, so they take it out on formula-feeders, a superconvenient target.
Luckily, the vast majority of nursing moms grow out of their judgy phase. Most of them. - You get excited about growing an actual person.
These hooters, right here, are the reason the baby gained three pounds. Boobs, I wish I could high-five you. Other people might think this is weird, but they've never grown a person with their own body. - You give "the look" to other nursing moms.
When you see another mom nursing in public, you at least give her a nod. Depending on your level of obsession, you may say hi or even thank her for nursing where other people can see her.
When you reach this level, you're what people call a "lactivist," and that's not a bad thing. - You covet normal sleep.
Oh, you sleep. If you cosleep, you sleep as much as any person with a baby possibly can (i.e. a lot). But you're constantly half-woken by a tiny person demanding to switch sides.
This pattern of half-waking can make you insanely covetous of the days when you slept without touching another person for hours on end. If you don't cosleep, you're awake all the time and probably exist in a delirious state of sleep deprivation. - You start viewing breastmilk as a miracle cure-all.
Got a cut? The stem cells in breastmilk will take care of that. Eye infection? Put on milk on it. If Bob Costas had known a lactating woman, he would've been back to commentating in a day.
Breastmilk cures all the things. Your insistence on this will make your household crazy.
Seriously, how do you think breastfeeding women go f*cking crazy?
More great reads from YourTango:
9 Things I'd Do Differently If I Had a Parenting Do-Over
11 Insane Things That Become Totally "Normal" When You're a Mom
9 Crazy Cool Facts About Breastfeeding No One Ever Told You
I Breastfed My Best Friend's Baby - and I Have Zero Regrets
Breastfeeding My Baby Literally Saved My Boobs - and My Life
Beyoncé Shares Never-Before-Seen Footage of Her Family on 9th Anniversary With Jay Z
Beyoncé dropped an updated video of her song "Die With You" in honor of her and Jay Z's ninth wedding anniversary on Tuesday, and you're going to need tissues for it. The one-minute Tidal video is full of memorable moments from the couple's wedding, lavish vacations, and the day Beyoncé gave birth to Blue. It even includes recent footage of Blue kissing Beyoncé's bare belly. The singer also released a 63-track playlist titled "IV EVER EVER," including Marvin Gaye's "I Want You," Stevie Wonder's "Overjoyed," and Michael Jackson's "I Can't Help It."
Yes, You Definitely Know Who Plays Alex in 13 Reasons Why
Image Source: Netflix
13 Reasons Why has slowly taken over our lives, and we've been trying to figure out where we've seen all the cast members before. Some actors, like Brandon Flynn (aka Justin Foley), are just breaking into the industry. Others, like Dylan Minnette (aka Clay Jensen), have been appearing in shows and movies for years. The guy who plays Alex falls into the latter category; his name is Miles Heizer, and he's been acting since 2005, when he appeared on CSI: Miami. That's (probably) not why you know him, though. Heizer starred for six years on NBC's ensemble drama Parenthood. He played Drew Holt, the shy son of Sarah Braverman (Lauren Graham).
Image Source: NBC
If you didn't immediately recognize him, the blond dye job may have thrown you off! In addition to small TV roles, Heizer was in the 2016 film adaptation Nerve alongside Emma Roberts and Dave Franco.
Heartilage Piercings Are the New Earring Trend You're Going to Obsess Over
My first pair of earrings were simple studs, the generic pair I picked out when I got my ears pierced as a little girl, but as the years have gone on, my collection of unique, intricate earrings has grown and my everyday studs are a thing of the past. While there's no shortage of pom-pom earrings or single silver drop earrings in the fashion world, I assumed that all cartilage earrings were created equally. I thought that the round silver cartilage earring I rebelliously got pierced with in college (sorry again, Mom) would just be it, no tassels or fringes - and sadly, no diamonds.
There's no denying that it's difficult to design a unique yet chic cartilage earring simply because of the sensitivity and location on the ear, but a piercing legend in New York City has found the solution. Robbie Milian, the one with the piercing gun at celebrity favorite West 4 Tattoo, simply removed the bead from his client's cartilage ring, turned in the metal ends, and shaped the piercing into a heart. We've officially named this heart cartilage trend "heartilage," and we cannot get enough of it! It's the adorable way to spice up your piercing in a way we didn't think could be done.
Robbie's creativity with the heartilage piercing might have been inspired by his frequent heart daith piercings, the innermost area of cartilage, which he often pierces with a beaded heart ring, seen on his Instagram. Keep reading to see more photos of the heartilage trend.
President Obama's New DC Home Needed 1 Major Construction Change For Privacy
The Obama family moved out of the White House in January, but before they could move into their beautiful $5.3 million DC rental, construction crews had to make some last-minute upgrades. According to TMZ, a brick wall was built to fortify the property and the garage was turned into an office with a bathroom, presumably for the Secret Service to use.
The Obamas will be renting the nine-bedroom, eight-and-a-half-bathroom home until Sasha graduates, making President Barack Obama the first president to stay in Washington DC after his term since Woodrow Wilson. The home, located in the upscale Kalorama neighborhood, is clearly being protected with all the necessary security measures. And in addition to a new brick wall, the Obamas also got a new neighbor - Ivanka Trump and her family are moving in just two blocks away to be closer to President Donald Trump in the White House.
So Obama is building a Great Wall ? Nice! http://pic.twitter.com/qqCPlDnCOA
- 14 Days 🇺🇸 (@GigiTracyXO) January 6, 2017
Brighten Clothes With This Awesome Dry Laundry Booster
Brighten dingy laundry with this homemade eco-friendly dry laundry booster. Instead of paying for commercial brands, you can easily make your own with basic ingredients found at any grocery store. And once you pick up the basic ingredients, each batch costs pennies to make. Keep your all-natural booster contained in a small jar so it is handy - and seriously potent - when you're doing laundry.
What You'll Need:
- 2 cups washing soda
- 1/4 cup hydrogen peroxide
- Mixing bowl
- Fork
- Small container
Directions:
- Think of laundry booster as your detergent's best friend. Using washing soda really amps up this laundry helper, while hydrogen peroxide works together with your detergent to help clean your garments.
- Measure and add the washing soda to a mixing bowl, and then add the hydrogen peroxide. Gently stir with a fork.
- Use the fork to break up any lumps, creating a sand-like texture. When the mixture interacts with water, it creates bubbles of oxygen, which help lift tough stains and gently whiten whites.
- Pour the booster into a small container with a lid, and you're all set for tackling the laundry.
- For tough stains and dingy whites, soak clothes in warm water mixed with 1/4 cup of the laundry booster for 20 minutes or overnight before washing. And you can keep things all natural and make your own homemade eco-friendly liquid laundry detergent. In a rush? Simply add 1/4 cup of booster directly to your next load of laundry to give your detergent a bit of a kick.
For more cleaning supplies that won't break the bank, check out our top DIY picks.
Heartilage Piercings Are the New Earring Trend You're Going to Obsess Over
My first pair of earrings were simple studs, the generic pair I picked out when I got my ears pierced as a little girl, but as the years have gone on, my collection of unique, intricate earrings has grown and my everyday studs are a thing of the past. While there's no shortage of pom-pom earrings or single silver drop earrings in the fashion world, I assumed that all cartilage earrings were created equally. I thought that the round silver cartilage earring I rebelliously got pierced with in college (sorry again, Mom) would just be it, no tassels or fringes - and sadly, no diamonds.
There's no denying that it's difficult to design a unique yet chic cartilage earring simply because of the sensitivity and location on the ear, but a piercing legend in New York City has found the solution. Robbie Milian, the one with the piercing gun at celebrity favorite West 4 Tattoo, simply removed the bead from his client's cartilage ring, turned in the metal ends, and shaped the piercing into a heart. We've officially named this heart cartilage trend "heartilage," and we cannot get enough of it! It's the adorable way to spice up your piercing in a way we didn't think could be done.
Robbie's creativity with the heartilage piercing might have been inspired by his frequent heart daith piercings, the innermost area of cartilage, which he often pierces with a beaded heart ring, seen on his Instagram. Keep reading to see more photos of the heartilage trend.
15 Ways Breastfeeding Completely Messes With Your Sanity
We're happy to present this article by Elizabeth Broadbent from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.
Everyone knows that postpartum moms are a little bit nuts. There's the hormones, the sleep deprivation, and the I-just-popped-a-baby-from-my-vagina-or-got-one-cut-out-of-me thing.
She has shared charge of an actual human being, who will expire if left sitting on the middle of the floor for too long. This would make anyone crazy.
Then, add breastfeeding into the mix. Breastfeeding moms are no more or less crazy than formula-feeding moms, but breastfeeding makes you crazy in ways formula feeding doesn't. I know - I've full-term-nursed three kids.
I loved mostly every minute of it, but I know I seemed downright insane to most of the non-nursing world. Here's why:
- You see your nipples as merely another bodily appendage.
No more are they special, secret places you keep under wraps at all times. No way. Your nipples are now food delivery devices.
Your baby will turn his head and stretch them in ways you never thought possible. And if you pump, what happens to your nipples will look like something from a fetish video. You won't care about any of these things. - You become proud of your boob size.
Big or small, medium or in between, you're proud of those hooters, because they're keeping a human being alive. Your bras may range into the middle end of the alphabet - and more properly be termed "harness" - but dammit, they're feeding little Braylynn. High-five, boobies! - You develop a nickname for your boobs.
You'll ask your baby if they want ta-ta, or milkies, or na-nas, possibly even boobie. When other people overhear you, they'll look at you like you just shouted the word "penis" in a crowded hallway. - You plan your wardrobe around your boobs and access thereof.
You can't go to the mall in that dress, because even if it does fit you from your postpartum days, you can't get to the ladies. Your husband in particular will not understand this.
When you don't do the two-shirt trick (one up, one down), you'll mostly settle for V-necks you can pull over. - At first, you worry endlessly about who can see your breasts.
You use a nursing cover. You pull and tug and do everything in your power to make sure no one sees so much as a millimeter of skin, you dirty, dirty girl.
Nipples are private, and nursing is private, and you're terrified someone might see what you're doing. - Then, you stop caring who sees, in a radical way.
Take a good long look, Trucker Man. Baby has to eat, and I need to feed him, so you're going to see some titty along the way. Get over it - it's a human breast, and you see more of that on a Victoria's Secret model than you do on nursing mother, anyway. - You fantasize about getting yelled at for nursing.
This is either your worst nightmare (see lady with the cover), or you're ready to go toe to toe with management over your right to nurse in any establishment you have the right to be in.
But you think about it on a regular basis, plan what you would say, and what you'd tell your girlfriends afterwards. - You taste your own breastmilk.
Anyone who says they haven't is a liar, liar, pants on fire. At some point in your nursing career, you absolutely have to see what it tastes like. Just once. For the record: vanilla ice cream. - You obsess about your "supply."
For those not in the know, "supply" means how much breastmilk you're producing at any one time. You might worry you have oversupply and that's why baby's throwing up. Or that you have low supply, and baby isn't peeing enough.
While worries about supply will fade as baby gets older, they never quite go away. You'll find yourself wondering if your growing toddler needs extra milkies when it's hot outside. - All of a sudden, you can imagine nursing a toddler.
Before you said uh-uh, no way, supergross . . . once they can ask for it, they should be cut off. Or once they have teeth, they should be finished.
But as your baby gets bigger, you slowly realize that when you make the decision to keep nursing every single day, you're eventually nursing a toddler. And your toddler is still such a baby. Full-term nursing for the win. - Unless you're a saint, you go through a phase where you judge formula-feeding moms.
Thinking your choice is far superior to theirs is a way for you to validate your own choice and feel that you're raising your child the right way. Insecure new moms need that validation, so they take it out on formula-feeders, a superconvenient target.
Luckily, the vast majority of nursing moms grow out of their judgy phase. Most of them. - You get excited about growing an actual person.
These hooters, right here, are the reason the baby gained three pounds. Boobs, I wish I could high-five you. Other people might think this is weird, but they've never grown a person with their own body. - You give "the look" to other nursing moms.
When you see another mom nursing in public, you at least give her a nod. Depending on your level of obsession, you may say hi or even thank her for nursing where other people can see her.
When you reach this level, you're what people call a "lactivist," and that's not a bad thing. - You covet normal sleep.
Oh, you sleep. If you cosleep, you sleep as much as any person with a baby possibly can (i.e. a lot). But you're constantly half-woken by a tiny person demanding to switch sides.
This pattern of half-waking can make you insanely covetous of the days when you slept without touching another person for hours on end. If you don't cosleep, you're awake all the time and probably exist in a delirious state of sleep deprivation. - You start viewing breastmilk as a miracle cure-all.
Got a cut? The stem cells in breastmilk will take care of that. Eye infection? Put on milk on it. If Bob Costas had known a lactating woman, he would've been back to commentating in a day.
Breastmilk cures all the things. Your insistence on this will make your household crazy.
Seriously, how do you think breastfeeding women go f*cking crazy?
More great reads from YourTango:
9 Things I'd Do Differently If I Had a Parenting Do-Over
11 Insane Things That Become Totally "Normal" When You're a Mom
9 Crazy Cool Facts About Breastfeeding No One Ever Told You
I Breastfed My Best Friend's Baby - and I Have Zero Regrets
Breastfeeding My Baby Literally Saved My Boobs - and My Life
How Sleeping With Other People Makes Me Love Being Married
"Do you think I'm the kind of person who can pull off saying the word 'lover'?" I ask my husband over coffee one Thursday morning a few weeks ago. I am sitting on the couch in my underwear, watching him flip casually through his phone. He is probably checking the OKCupid app, seeing if any cute girls messaged him back.
"No, absolutely not. So embarrassing," he says, grimacing at me like I'm a lunatic.
"But . . . what else do I call him?" I start trying on names. "My man friend. Person-with-whom-I-sleep-with-and-share-common-interests. Side piece." I frown. "Boyfriend and f*ck buddy both miss the mark, but in different ways. What's the male version of mistress? I hate them all." I sip thoughtfully and stretch my toes to a point. "I like lover; it's very French."
My husband mimes gagging behind his coffee cup, but I ignore him. He is not a very romantic person - more of the sardonic, raised-eyebrow type, which is why he is my best friend and I'm glad I married him. I'm not terribly sentimental either, and we are perfectly matched in that we are more likely to play practical jokes on each other than stare into the other's eyes. But since deciding to pursue relationships outside our marriage, I'm also craving a little drama - something foreign, sexy, passionate, and intense. I could certainly get used to the idea of having a lover. A bearded lover. A handsome one with tattooed forearms and soft brown eyes. That is, if I can bring myself to say the word with a certain amount of finesse.
I arch my back absently and squeeze my bare legs together, creating a nice pressure, mouthing the word, seeing how it feels. My index and middle finger rub together where once there would have been a cigarette. I stare dreamily out the window and my mind flashes through mental images from a few nights ago. Hands tangled in my hair. Teeth on the skin of my neck. A voice whispering a husky "baby" into my ear.
My husband looks up from his phone and sees me staring stupidly into space. He shoots me a lopsided grin. I give him the finger. Today is going to be a good day.
----
My marriage has been officially open for over two years, but only recently have we decided to act on it.
The topic arose for the first time about a year previous to that, after our heads nearly collided while simultaneously scoping out an especially cute girl. This happened a lot. I identify as sexually fluid and have long been attracted to women. I even drunkenly kissed a few in high school and college. Sadly though, I spent most of my formative years trying to convince frowning art boys to worship me, yielding a lot of angst but predictably poor results. And so it remains: I have never had an adult sexual or romantic relationship with a woman, even though I've wanted one for a long time.
He knew that being with me meant at the very least talking about girls who I found attractive so that I could act out in fantasy what I never had managed to do in person. But even though I had fallen deeply in love with him and wanted to commit to a life together, there was still a part of me that felt a weird sense of grief at the idea of never sleeping with a woman in real life.
I faced the choice to suck it up and accept that monogamy is the cost of committed love, or . . . be honest about my fear that being with him meant I could never experience this profound thing I longed for.
I chose the second one.
It was nerve-wracking. I was telling him, essentially, that I was worried he would never be enough for me. I told him on faith that we would be able to figure it out together, unsure if a solution was possible or if this meant we would, eventually, break up.
But, my now-husband and then-boyfriend, this "guy's guy" from a traditional, religious working-class background, who comes home with filthy hands more often than not, turned out to be super into exploring this new way of life with me. Instead of tending towards jealousy or possessiveness, as had many of my past boyfriends, he laughed a little and said, "That would be crazy. Let's talk about it."
We did. For over a year. We talked about what we found exciting (sex, friendship) and what seemed weird and gray and scary (sleepovers, emotional attachments, commitments). We had exactly zero reference to contextualize a healthy open relationship or language to discuss boundaries. We thought of our friends - a rumor that one of them was polyamorous with one primary partner and multiple lovers, that another couple regularly invited guests into their bed. How do they know how to do it, we wondered.
As newbs without a community, we had to seek one out. We listened to the Savage Lovecast in which Dan Savage doles out relationship advice to many "monogamish" couples. We did online research about how couples manage multiple partners, "entwinement levels," boundaries, labels, lingo, and so much more.* We came out to our close friends who were in open relationships and asked them, respectfully, if they would tell us everything about their sex lives. We figured if it worked for other people, it could work for us.
We were nervous. We knew there were a lot of potential unknowns, like what if we say we are comfortable with a sleepover but then start to panic at the thought? It seemed like our only option was to acknowledge that boundaries shift, listen to each other without reservation, and be as honest as possible a day at a time. And of course, we set up some hard limits:
Everything must be discussed beforehand. Our relationship comes first. All questions must be answered. Must practice safe sex. No falling in love. This is how it began.
-----
Several years, our engagement, a brief flirtation, a ridiculously fun wedding, a steady hookup, a couple of third bases, a one-night stand, one lover-maybe-boyfriend, and about 10,000 honest conversations later, here we are. He is in a relationship - a term used broadly - with a brilliant grad student 10 years his junior, and I am . . . figuring out what to call the bearded fellow with the eyes who knows exactly where to pinch and sends me home recorded songs when I want to feel some-kinda-way.
Our framework is seemingly ever changing. We have learned not to take our first reactions too seriously. One week after exclaiming that he could never in a million years invite his girlfriend over to sleep in my bed (the very idea!), I realized with great surprise that I didn't care. It felt like a collision of the instinct to protect my territory and the growing feeling that the idea of ownership - the insistence that what is mine cannot be hers - is arbitrary and somewhat useless. I smirked at myself for self-righteously trying to protect my bed as a sacrosanct symbol of marital love while trying to revise what marriage means in the first place. It was the first of many moments that reinforced in me that my marriage exists solely within the heads and hearts of my husband and myself and nowhere physical - not in our shared spaces, not even our bodies.
That Friday we spent the night apart for the first time - he at a hotel with the girl, me at home with the guy. The next morning, my husband came home and they met. I found myself gazing huge-eyed at two handsome, kind men as they sipped coffee and talked about motorcycles. I giggled nervously and they looked at me. I blinked back. "WHO WANTS EGGS?" I yelled, probably startling both of them, trying to find something to do with my hands.
What a time to be alive.
Of course, the reality of acting on well-laid plans is not without its anxieties. My husband's girlfriend is quite young and enviably pretty, and I both joked and grumbled about that when it started. "Oh, she's 21? That's nice," I commented primly, trying not to roll my eyes. Now that they've gotten to know each other a bit better, it turns out that she is fun and weird in precisely the way he likes, and he is enjoying himself. I have stopped sucking my teeth when he talks about her, and laugh appreciatively when she sends him videos culled from the darkest corners of Reddit.
And then there is the fact I have become rather attached to my guy, which was initially considered the uncrossable boundary and continues to be a difficult road to navigate. My husband wishes things hadn't progressed so quickly, and he isn't wrong. But he does not ask me to end it, even though he could, probably because that would be the path of least resistance. Instead he is hanging tight, choosing to be honest about his insecurities, to ask me for my attention when he feels like he needs me. We are not looking back at what I should have done differently; we are looking ahead, figuring out how to live with this new person in my life.
Why? I'm not sure. He loves me deeply, I know that. He wants me to be happy. He has a surprising and sweet trust in my guy, who is abundantly respectful of our marriage. He also embraces the opportunity to challenge himself and move through fear. He is brave, and it is for this reason that I know I made the right choice in marrying him.
Every day, I trust more that doubt, jealousy, and resentment are not going to kill me or my relationship, and what little we feel of them is worth the incredible joy that comes from pushing my relationship outside of its comfort zone. What I know now is that feelings will always shift - that's a fact. And they most often will pass if I share about them. So instead of doing what I thought strong women did and swallowing my insecurities, I talk about them in blunt terms with my husband. What if you stop wanting me, and what if we start to hate each other, and what if you fall out of love with me but are too afraid to tell me, and what if . . . My husband listens, nods, understands me a bit better, kisses me, tells me he loves me, and the fears start to fade away.
And for all this gooey heart sharing, there is so much heady adrenaline. We are reveling in the giddy haze of new experiences and great sex. We are growing closer every day. Seeing my husband get nervous over writing a text to a girl is both sweet and a strange new intimacy. He played it cool when we first got together, so naturally I have never seen this side of him before, this playful mix of arrogance and uncertainty. I get to see him through another person's eyes, enjoying the victories of flirtation as well as the geeky excitement of not knowing if someone likes you.
We lay together late at night and he touches the two bruises on my left arm, perfect fingerprints that he didn't leave. I smell his hair, which smells like the cigarettes she smokes. We kiss each other a little deeper. We are bound together in this experience - unfaltering in our bond, happy more often than scared.
And as for the girls: I am not nearly finished on that front. Back to OKCupid.
It should be said that while my husband and I situate ourselves as "ethically polyamorous" - meaning we have relationships with multiple people and ensure all parties are aware and consenting - our experience is by no means representative of the vast diversity of polyamorous arrangements out there. While we may not be able to call up our grandparents and chat about extramarital dates, our cisgender, heterosexual(ish) status lends our story some cultural legibility - and therefore acceptance. That is not the case for all poly folks, and their stories are important too. For more information about radical nonmonogamy and the important ways it can create healthy partnerships, click here. It's worth it.
8 Things You Absolutely Must Do in Caguas, Puerto Rico
About an hour outside San Juan lies another picturesque Puerto Rican city: Caguas.
The biggest urban spot in the Central Mountain Range, Caguas (founded in 1775) offers beautiful scenery, good food, historic buildings - and all at walkable distances, starting at one central location: Santiago R. Palmer plaza.
With delicious coffee at Cafe Palmer, family-friendly attractions (including a carousel), and all kinds of must-try food carts, you could spend all day inside this park. But you shouldn't, because Caguas is such a fun city to explore! Read on to discover the eight things you've got to experience during your stay.
Robin Hood flour recall expanded nationwide due to E. coli contamination
The recall of Robin Hood brand flour linked to an E. coli outbreak has been expanded to include the entire country.
Robin Hood flour recall expanded nationwide due to E. coli contamination
The recall of Robin Hood brand flour linked to an E. coli outbreak has been expanded to include the entire country.
This Heath Ledger Documentary Is Going to Smash Your Heart Into a Pulp
Heath Ledger died on Jan. 22, 2008. You probably remember where you were when you found out that one of Hollywood's brightest stars, who would go on to win a posthumous Academy Award for his work in The Dark Knight, had died of an accidental drug overdose. Nine years later, Spike TV has made a documentary about the late actor: I Am Heath Ledger. It's set to debut at the Tribeca Film Festival, but if you can't make it to New York, it'll open in limited release on May 3 before airing on Spike on May 17. The trailer is chock-full of personal footage of Heath, much of which he took himself. There are also interviews with his family and close friends, including Naomi Watts, Emile Hirsch, Ben Mendelsohn, and Ang Lee. While it'll probably break your heart all over again, the trailer is worth watching just to see Heath smile again and to remember what a true artist he was.
These All-Stuf Oreos May Have Been a Prank . . . but Would You Try Them?
For real 💯💯👌 http://pic.twitter.com/hMb92ng7bR
- Adam Padilla (@AdamPadilla) April 2, 2017
Oreo fans worldwide simultaneously sighed with relief and cried out in disappointment when it was revealed that "All-Stuf Oreos" were simply a clever April Fools' Day prank from Twitter artist Adam Padilla. Reactions to the prank product, which claimed to be "just the creme" from traditional Oreos cookies, were mixed, from those who found the idea abhorrent:
What kind of person hiding a demon in their body would want just the cream?
- Chocolate Tal (@BitchPuddingO_o) March 31, 2017
To those who would buy a pack in a heartbeat:
They really sell Oreos with just the creme filling? I need that.
- mom (@JennBeautiful) March 31, 2017
But where do you fall on the scale? If Oreo was to produce discs of just creme filling, would you buy in? Let us know by voting in the poll below!
Wondering If There Will Be a Second Season of 13 Reasons Why?
Netflix has adapted Jay Asher's 2007 novel, Thirteen Reasons Why, and it's one of its most addictive series yet. Stylized as 13 Reasons Why, the show runs exactly 13 episodes - and no more . . . yet. It was brought to Netflix as a miniseries, designed to tell one singular story. It's hard to argue that the story could (or, more importantly, should) go beyond what's presented in the YA novel; the entire premise is that a teenage girl commits suicide, and through a series of tapes, she's explaining why. However, the TV writers did expand on the characters in the book, giving them richer stories to fill out the episodes.
A recent interview with executive producer Selena Gomez and star Katherine Langford has made us think that a second season is definitely a possibility. "We don't know what is going to go beyond it, but we know there are so many stories that lie beneath each character," said Gomez. "That's why it became a series in the first place. So we'll see."
"There's definitely more story to tell," said Langford. "It would be cool to continue the dialogue of this story. There are so many cliffhangers at the end of the season . . . I had to sit back. I didn't think about what happens next. It's more of this feeling like, 'Oh my God, that's the story that needed to be told.'"
The writers could continue the story just following the people we've met, especially since the first season ends with some major developments. There's also the fact that Netflix is referring to the batch of episodes as "Season One" on their press site. It might be nothing, but it's worth bringing up!
8 Things You Absolutely Must Do in Caguas, Puerto Rico
About an hour outside San Juan lies another picturesque Puerto Rican city: Caguas.
The biggest urban spot in the Central Mountain Range, Caguas (founded in 1775) offers beautiful scenery, good food, historic buildings - and all at walkable distances, starting at one central location: Santiago R. Palmer plaza.
With delicious coffee at Cafe Palmer, family-friendly attractions (including a carousel), and all kinds of must-try food carts, you could spend all day inside this park. But you shouldn't, because Caguas is such a fun city to explore! Read on to discover the eight things you've got to experience during your stay.
How to Naturally Clean Your Coffee Maker
Did you know you should be cleaning your coffee pot every month? Not just to get out old coffee grounds, but also because your coffee maker may have mold growing in it. Yep, mold. One study found that around half of classic coffee makers had mold and yeast growing in their reservoirs, and about one in 10 has coliform bacteria in them. Coffee also contains oils that leave dark marks on the coffee pot and can clog up the drip. Luckily, there's a household supply you already have on hand that can help efficiently clean your coffee maker: vinegar!
If you're tired of waking up to a grungy coffee pot and you want to avoid growth of mold, try this easy and eco-friendly cleaning solution that leaves your machine so clean, resulting in a better (safer) cup of joe. Here's what to do.
- Fill the water chamber of the coffee pot with equal parts water and plain white distilled vinegar. Vinegar is a natural cleaner that breaks up oily buildup and cleans coffee residue. Turn on the brew cycle, and then turn off halfway through.
- Let the vinegar and water sit for an hour, giving it time to steam-clean the coffee maker. After one hour, turn on the brew cycle and allow the vinegar and water to continue to go through the drip cycle.
- Run three quick cycles of water through the coffee maker, and give the coffee pot a quick wipe-down. Now you're ready for a fresh cup of coffee!
If You're Running and Aren't Losing Weight, Try This
You've been eating right and exercising for a while, but that stubborn belly fat just won't budge! Along with incorporating foods that fight fat into your diet, here are some ways to burn that pooch away while you are out on a run.
Switch Up Your Pace
Intervals are proven to reduce belly fat and rev up metabolism; instead of running at the same pace for the entire workout, try alternating between periods of pushing your body to the max and periods of recovery. Here's a list of interval workouts for you to try:
- 45-minute fat-burning treadmill workout
- 300-calorie-burning walking-jogging workout
- 30-minute pyramid intervals
- Swimming interval workout
- 45-minute walk-run-sprint workout
- 45-minute elliptical interval workout
Go a Little Longer
Unfortunately you can't spot treat when it comes to weight loss, which is one reason solely doing crunches won't whittle your waistline. The key is to decrease overall body fat, and the one way to do that is to burn calories. Lengthening your workout will do just that. Every five minutes of running at a 10-minute-per-mile pace burns about 45 calories. Think about that on your next run, and it'll motivate you to keep going!
High Knees
You're working hard to diminish your overall body weight, which will slim down your belly so you can reveal toned abs underneath. Here's one way to strengthen your core. Do one-minute intervals in which you run with high knees (like in this cardio workout you can do in your living room). Concentrate on using your abs rather than your leg muscles to kick your knees up as high as you can.
Try This Killer Treadmill Move
Here's another core killer if you're using a treadmill. Set the pace to 1.0 mph. Place your feet on a Plyo Box that's set up about two feet behind the back of the treadmill. Come into plank position with your hands straddling the treadmill belt. Step your hands on the belt and start walking, keeping your torso in one straight line. Do this for one minute, pulling your belly in toward your spine. Watch the above shredmill move in action here!
If You're Running and Aren't Losing Weight, Try This
You've been eating right and exercising for a while, but that stubborn belly fat just won't budge! Along with incorporating foods that fight fat into your diet, here are some ways to burn that pooch away while you are out on a run.
Switch Up Your Pace
Intervals are proven to reduce belly fat and rev up metabolism; instead of running at the same pace for the entire workout, try alternating between periods of pushing your body to the max and periods of recovery. Here's a list of interval workouts for you to try:
- 45-minute fat-burning treadmill workout
- 300-calorie-burning walking-jogging workout
- 30-minute pyramid intervals
- Swimming interval workout
- 45-minute walk-run-sprint workout
- 45-minute elliptical interval workout
Go a Little Longer
Unfortunately you can't spot treat when it comes to weight loss, which is one reason solely doing crunches won't whittle your waistline. The key is to decrease overall body fat, and the one way to do that is to burn calories. Lengthening your workout will do just that. Every five minutes of running at a 10-minute-per-mile pace burns about 45 calories. Think about that on your next run, and it'll motivate you to keep going!
High Knees
You're working hard to diminish your overall body weight, which will slim down your belly so you can reveal toned abs underneath. Here's one way to strengthen your core. Do one-minute intervals in which you run with high knees (like in this cardio workout you can do in your living room). Concentrate on using your abs rather than your leg muscles to kick your knees up as high as you can.
Try This Killer Treadmill Move
Here's another core killer if you're using a treadmill. Set the pace to 1.0 mph. Place your feet on a Plyo Box that's set up about two feet behind the back of the treadmill. Come into plank position with your hands straddling the treadmill belt. Step your hands on the belt and start walking, keeping your torso in one straight line. Do this for one minute, pulling your belly in toward your spine. Watch the above shredmill move in action here!
If You're Running and Aren't Losing Weight, Try This
You've been eating right and exercising for a while, but that stubborn belly fat just won't budge! Along with incorporating foods that fight fat into your diet, here are some ways to burn that pooch away while you are out on a run.
Switch Up Your Pace
Intervals are proven to reduce belly fat and rev up metabolism; instead of running at the same pace for the entire workout, try alternating between periods of pushing your body to the max and periods of recovery. Here's a list of interval workouts for you to try:
- 45-minute fat-burning treadmill workout
- 300-calorie-burning walking-jogging workout
- 30-minute pyramid intervals
- Swimming interval workout
- 45-minute walk-run-sprint workout
- 45-minute elliptical interval workout
Go a Little Longer
Unfortunately you can't spot treat when it comes to weight loss, which is one reason solely doing crunches won't whittle your waistline. The key is to decrease overall body fat, and the one way to do that is to burn calories. Lengthening your workout will do just that. Every five minutes of running at a 10-minute-per-mile pace burns about 45 calories. Think about that on your next run, and it'll motivate you to keep going!
High Knees
You're working hard to diminish your overall body weight, which will slim down your belly so you can reveal toned abs underneath. Here's one way to strengthen your core. Do one-minute intervals in which you run with high knees (like in this cardio workout you can do in your living room). Concentrate on using your abs rather than your leg muscles to kick your knees up as high as you can.
Try This Killer Treadmill Move
Here's another core killer if you're using a treadmill. Set the pace to 1.0 mph. Place your feet on a Plyo Box that's set up about two feet behind the back of the treadmill. Come into plank position with your hands straddling the treadmill belt. Step your hands on the belt and start walking, keeping your torso in one straight line. Do this for one minute, pulling your belly in toward your spine. Watch the above shredmill move in action here!
9 Reasons You Should Eat More Avocado For Your Mind, Body, and Spirit
We all know that avocado is arguably one of the most delicious foods around, a versatile ingredient that enlivens dishes from guacamole to toast, and even drinks like smoothies. And we've heard that it's a healthy food too, full of good fats and lots of vitamins.
But we wanted to dig down a little deeper. What, exactly, is so healthy about avocados? And how can we use this knowledge to increase our avocado consumption even further?
Here are some of the fun facts we discovered about one of nature's finest superfoods.
- They're high in "good fat." Avocados are packed with monounsaturated fats, which fight heart disease and can reduce potentially harmful cholesterol.
- Antioxidants are abundant in avocado. Avocados are full of antioxidants, which are believed to protect cells from damage caused by free radicals.
- Avocados are chock-full of vitamins. Amounts of the vitamins in avocado can vary, but the fruit is full of important vitamins K, C, B5, B6, and E.
- They've got protein! Unlike many other fruits, an avocado actually contains protein. The amount of protein depends on the size of the fruit, but about 100 grams of avocado contains 2 grams of protein.
- You don't have to eat avocado to reap benefits. OK, eating avocados is really good for you, but it's also a great addition to your beauty routine.
- You can substitute avocado in place of more fattening oils or butter. The California Avocado Association details how avocado can be a healthier alternative to regular baking ingredients.
- It might be a nutrient booster. The growers' group also suggests that avocado consumption could help the body absorb other nutrients from food; one study seems to support this idea.
- They're good for pregnant women. Avocados contain folate, which is essential for growing babies.
- And don't forget about the potassium. Avocados, like bananas, contain potassium, which is an important mineral to consume for a number of bodily functions and processes.
Britney Spears's $7M Mansion Is a Small Piece of Paradise
Britney Spears knows a lucrative deal when she sees one. The star just sold a Mediterranean-style mansion in Thousand Oaks, CA. Built in 2010, the property sits on an 8,456-square-foot property in the Lake Sherwood community. Britney originally asked a whopping $8.995 million when she listed the property in Spring 2016 but wound up selling it for a discount at $7 million flat. In addition to a 180-degree view of the Santa Monica mountains, there is a game room, a movie room, two offices, an open kitchen with a formal dining room, and, of course, two ginormous walk-in closets fit for a Hollywood starlet.
Though Britney is saying bye to the mansion, whoever just scooped up up this incredible property will sleep in comfort knowing she once walked the halls and still lives in the neighborhood. As for where Britney will live, the real-estate-savvy singer already owns another $7.4 million Italian villa in the same area. Read on to see the spacious abode she just sold from all angles.
This Trick Will Magically Turn the Shade of Your Hydrangeas
Source: Flickr user Ryutaro Koma
If you've ever admired a hydrangea bush blooming in all sorts of pastel shades, you'll be happy to know that the look is achieved by a simple science trick! You can actually change the color of your hydrangeas - making them pink, blue, or ethereal shades of periwinkle - by following these steps. Here's how to master the pastel rainbow effect:
- Make Sure You Have the Right Type of Hydrangea
Only hydrangea macrophylla (aka mopheads and lacecaps) can actually change color, so make sure you buy the right kind. - Measure the Soil pH
It's easy - we promise! Use a soil test kit to figure out your soil pH levels. To get blue flowers, you'll want your soil to be acidic with pH levels of 5.5 or lower. For pink flowers, you'll want more alkaline soil with pH levels of 6.5 or higher. To achieve that pretty palette of blue, pink, and purple hues, get your soil to a pH level between 5.5 and 6.5. - Adjust the pH Levels of Your Soil to Get the Color You Want
Bailey's Color Me Blue (soil sulfur) or Bailey's Color Me Pink (garden lime) are great for adjusting pH levels, but you can also use a few homemade tricks, like using composted oak leaves, pine needles, or coffee grounds for blue flowers or wood ashes, lime, or fertilizers with high levels of phosphorus (a ratio of 25-10-10 is best) to prevent aluminum from entering the plant's system for pink flowers. This helpful guide will tell you how much additives to use for raising or lowering the pH levels. - Keep Treating Your Soil, and Be Patient
Continue treating the top layer of soil around the root area to keep the flowers in the desired shade. This process can take months, so be patient.
How to Get Back to "Feeling Yourself" After Becoming a Mom
The following story, "How to Get Yourself Back" by Lyz Lenz, was originally published on Boomdash.
If you had asked me who I was the day I turned 28, I could have told you with clarity - book reader, cheese eater, runner, writer, the loudest person in every room, and a good pizza-crust-maker.
Four months after my 28th birthday, I became a mother, giving birth to the chubbiest, happiest little baby girl I'd ever seen. A couple of weeks after bringing my baby home, my mother came to visit. "How does it feel to be a mom?" she asked.
I began crying. "I don't even know how it feels to be me anymore."
Pregnancy creates a crisis between the woman within and the woman without. French writer and psychotherapist Eugénie Lemoine-Luccioni wrote in The Dividing of Women or Women's Lot, "Pregnancy is a narcissistic crisis . . . because the ego-ideal, the specular image, is massively altered, putting to the test the she-narcissus who wants to remain the same, unchanging and outside of time."
And yet, we all change. Some of us lose the ability to hold our pee, others lose the ability to watch crime shows - the careful become careless, the once careless are now fastidious. Whether physically or internally, motherhood creates irreparable wounds and shifts the core of ourselves that are both astounding and earth-shattering.
When I first became pregnant, I was told that pregnancy would change me. It's a narrative I resisted, even as I found myself doing things I would have never done previously, like eating caramel or reading internet message boards for hours. Change, I insisted was a choice, you could always stay yourself. But after two births in two and a half years, I wasn't myself - I lost my ability to read. I don't mean I became illiterate; it's just that I couldn't consume books at the rate I once had. I had once read Bleak House in two days. I'd read Unbearable Lightness of Being in a matter of hours. Even while giving birth to my daughter, I read the entirety of two New Yorkers and Chris Adrian's novel The Great Night.
"Read while you can," said a nurse. I rolled my eyes, annoyed that everyone said things would be different.
After that, however, everything was different. When I came home from the hospital, I was too tired, too busy staring at the pink-skinned creation before me. I had made myself a meticulous reading list for the late-night nursing sessions, but it took me six months to muddle through Cutting for Stone. I tried reading to my baby during the day, I picked easy stories like fairy tales and my favorite children's classics. I barely made it through A Bridge to Terabithia, not from sorrow but because my mind was filled with the detritus of motherhood. I became obsessed with things I had never even thought about before, like the size of the carpet fibers and the number of people who didn't take their shoes off in our home.
Sitting down to read took a focus I no longer had. After one sentence, my mind was already gone: Was the baby OK? Could she eat that grass? Did I have something thawing for dinner? Had I answered all my work email? Would she fall and smash her face on the concrete? Did she need a sweater? Did I need a sweater? Why did my back hurt? What was that wet spot on the floor? Could she swallow a carpet fiber?
If you had asked me at the time if I felt different, I would have told you staunchly that I felt like myself only a little fatter. It was important for me to claim this. If I didn't admit the truth of my lost identity, it wouldn't be true. Claiming I was still a person I no longer was, was prosperity gospel promise for my soul. I would name it and claim it, and surely that essence would return. But I no longer made pizza, I was a lot quieter in rooms, cheese made me feel sick, and I didn't read. I still wrote, but not as much as I had before. The only part of my previous identity I could still claim was running. Running was the only thing that could quiet my anxious mind.
I found myself staring out of windows a lot, imagining myself running away down the tree-lined street. But then, I would need to put on shoes and perhaps grab some money, but I wouldn't get too far before my milk would come in and someone would need to be fed. I didn't even recognize myself in my own daydreams. My nose made grease spots on the glass panels. I didn't think I would ever be the same.
In Wuthering Heights, Catherine Linton goes mad from pregnancy - the dissonance between who she wanted to be and who she has become overtakes her mind. Staring in a mirror, she is unable to recognize her own reflection. "Don't you see that face?" she asks.
Even after the mirror is covered, she cries out to Nelly Dean, the main narrator, "Who is it? I hope it will not come out when you are gone! Oh! Nelly, the room is haunted! I'm afraid of being alone."
Both literally and metaphorically, Cathy is split in two. After giving birth, Cathy dies. A body divided against herself, she could not survive. Some days, I felt as if I too had suffered a death, as if a self or an idea of a self was gone forever.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I took our children on vacation. I brought my usual stack of books, a futile promise since I was averaging a book every two to three weeks. I armed myself with toys, iPads, snacks, and surprise candy for my children, now 6 and 3, to ease us along the 18-hour car trip. We had taken trips like this before to visit family in Denver, a 12-hour trip. I knew the misery. I knew I would be staring out the window, imagining my family living in different houses as different people, unable to focus on the book in my lap because of the constant barrage of demands for crackers, blankies, cars, a different movie, a different game.
But something happened on this trip: My kids handled their sh*t. By which I mean, when they wanted a snack, they reached into the snack bag between them and retrieved it. They entertained each other, compromised, swapping toys and screens. They played games, laughed, asked for music and napped. I read one full book in a day and began another.
Elated, I read another and another. I could focus. My kids were fine. They played with friends, they grabbed cheese sticks, they snuggled by me on a towel as we watched the waves. I put the books down, and we went on water slides and swam in a wave pool. I picked the books up again when they played games of mermaids. I didn't worry about sweaters or shoes; they could manage those. If they were hungry, they'd tell me. If they needed to use the bathroom, well then, they'd just go. By the time we came home from the vacation, I had read five books in seven days.
When we got home, I read two academic books in four days. Looking in the mirror was like coming home. I wanted to kiss that dumb face with her dark circles and the shadows of sags around her neck. Maybe she'd always been there. Maybe she had never left. Or maybe she'd left and had only returned out of force of will. Maybe I was a faster reader now. I wondered what I had ever been worried about in the first place.
The tides of parenting are the hardest to explain. They can immerse you and pull you out to a foreign and flailing sea, or they can toss you up on a warm familiar shore. Some things are so hard and then in a year, they are suddenly easy. Easy things quickly become insurmountable and then, one day, they are simple again. And you wonder if it happened. Did you really cry and clean poop off the walls? Were you really googling "pink underarm rashes" or "can my toddler be a serial killer?" for hours after you should have been asleep? Surely not.
Years become small fleeting moments, turning midnight terror into funny stories that you occasionally remember and tell your partner, "Oh remember when I took her to the ER because I thought the marker on her skin was meningitis?" And then you laugh like it was nothing, because it was once everything.
I can read now. I run. I'm loud again. I still need to pace myself on cheese. I'm not making pizza, but maybe soon. Maybe I'm who I once was, or maybe I've just managed to fuse together whatever fractured when I divided myself and became a mother.
How to Get Back to "Feeling Yourself" After Becoming a Mom
The following story, "How to Get Yourself Back" by Lyz Lenz, was originally published on Boomdash.
If you had asked me who I was the day I turned 28, I could have told you with clarity - book reader, cheese eater, runner, writer, the loudest person in every room, and a good pizza-crust-maker.
Four months after my 28th birthday, I became a mother, giving birth to the chubbiest, happiest little baby girl I'd ever seen. A couple of weeks after bringing my baby home, my mother came to visit. "How does it feel to be a mom?" she asked.
I began crying. "I don't even know how it feels to be me anymore."
Pregnancy creates a crisis between the woman within and the woman without. French writer and psychotherapist Eugénie Lemoine-Luccioni wrote in The Dividing of Women or Women's Lot, "Pregnancy is a narcissistic crisis . . . because the ego-ideal, the specular image, is massively altered, putting to the test the she-narcissus who wants to remain the same, unchanging and outside of time."
And yet, we all change. Some of us lose the ability to hold our pee, others lose the ability to watch crime shows - the careful become careless, the once careless are now fastidious. Whether physically or internally, motherhood creates irreparable wounds and shifts the core of ourselves that are both astounding and earth-shattering.
When I first became pregnant, I was told that pregnancy would change me. It's a narrative I resisted, even as I found myself doing things I would have never done previously, like eating caramel or reading internet message boards for hours. Change, I insisted was a choice, you could always stay yourself. But after two births in two and a half years, I wasn't myself - I lost my ability to read. I don't mean I became illiterate; it's just that I couldn't consume books at the rate I once had. I had once read Bleak House in two days. I'd read Unbearable Lightness of Being in a matter of hours. Even while giving birth to my daughter, I read the entirety of two New Yorkers and Chris Adrian's novel The Great Night.
"Read while you can," said a nurse. I rolled my eyes, annoyed that everyone said things would be different.
After that, however, everything was different. When I came home from the hospital, I was too tired, too busy staring at the pink-skinned creation before me. I had made myself a meticulous reading list for the late-night nursing sessions, but it took me six months to muddle through Cutting for Stone. I tried reading to my baby during the day, I picked easy stories like fairy tales and my favorite children's classics. I barely made it through A Bridge to Terabithia, not from sorrow but because my mind was filled with the detritus of motherhood. I became obsessed with things I had never even thought about before, like the size of the carpet fibers and the number of people who didn't take their shoes off in our home.
Sitting down to read took a focus I no longer had. After one sentence, my mind was already gone: Was the baby OK? Could she eat that grass? Did I have something thawing for dinner? Had I answered all my work email? Would she fall and smash her face on the concrete? Did she need a sweater? Did I need a sweater? Why did my back hurt? What was that wet spot on the floor? Could she swallow a carpet fiber?
If you had asked me at the time if I felt different, I would have told you staunchly that I felt like myself only a little fatter. It was important for me to claim this. If I didn't admit the truth of my lost identity, it wouldn't be true. Claiming I was still a person I no longer was, was prosperity gospel promise for my soul. I would name it and claim it, and surely that essence would return. But I no longer made pizza, I was a lot quieter in rooms, cheese made me feel sick, and I didn't read. I still wrote, but not as much as I had before. The only part of my previous identity I could still claim was running. Running was the only thing that could quiet my anxious mind.
I found myself staring out of windows a lot, imagining myself running away down the tree-lined street. But then, I would need to put on shoes and perhaps grab some money, but I wouldn't get too far before my milk would come in and someone would need to be fed. I didn't even recognize myself in my own daydreams. My nose made grease spots on the glass panels. I didn't think I would ever be the same.
In Wuthering Heights, Catherine Linton goes mad from pregnancy - the dissonance between who she wanted to be and who she has become overtakes her mind. Staring in a mirror, she is unable to recognize her own reflection. "Don't you see that face?" she asks.
Even after the mirror is covered, she cries out to Nelly Dean, the main narrator, "Who is it? I hope it will not come out when you are gone! Oh! Nelly, the room is haunted! I'm afraid of being alone."
Both literally and metaphorically, Cathy is split in two. After giving birth, Cathy dies. A body divided against herself, she could not survive. Some days, I felt as if I too had suffered a death, as if a self or an idea of a self was gone forever.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I took our children on vacation. I brought my usual stack of books, a futile promise since I was averaging a book every two to three weeks. I armed myself with toys, iPads, snacks, and surprise candy for my children, now 6 and 3, to ease us along the 18-hour car trip. We had taken trips like this before to visit family in Denver, a 12-hour trip. I knew the misery. I knew I would be staring out the window, imagining my family living in different houses as different people, unable to focus on the book in my lap because of the constant barrage of demands for crackers, blankies, cars, a different movie, a different game.
But something happened on this trip: My kids handled their sh*t. By which I mean, when they wanted a snack, they reached into the snack bag between them and retrieved it. They entertained each other, compromised, swapping toys and screens. They played games, laughed, asked for music and napped. I read one full book in a day and began another.
Elated, I read another and another. I could focus. My kids were fine. They played with friends, they grabbed cheese sticks, they snuggled by me on a towel as we watched the waves. I put the books down, and we went on water slides and swam in a wave pool. I picked the books up again when they played games of mermaids. I didn't worry about sweaters or shoes; they could manage those. If they were hungry, they'd tell me. If they needed to use the bathroom, well then, they'd just go. By the time we came home from the vacation, I had read five books in seven days.
When we got home, I read two academic books in four days. Looking in the mirror was like coming home. I wanted to kiss that dumb face with her dark circles and the shadows of sags around her neck. Maybe she'd always been there. Maybe she had never left. Or maybe she'd left and had only returned out of force of will. Maybe I was a faster reader now. I wondered what I had ever been worried about in the first place.
The tides of parenting are the hardest to explain. They can immerse you and pull you out to a foreign and flailing sea, or they can toss you up on a warm familiar shore. Some things are so hard and then in a year, they are suddenly easy. Easy things quickly become insurmountable and then, one day, they are simple again. And you wonder if it happened. Did you really cry and clean poop off the walls? Were you really googling "pink underarm rashes" or "can my toddler be a serial killer?" for hours after you should have been asleep? Surely not.
Years become small fleeting moments, turning midnight terror into funny stories that you occasionally remember and tell your partner, "Oh remember when I took her to the ER because I thought the marker on her skin was meningitis?" And then you laugh like it was nothing, because it was once everything.
I can read now. I run. I'm loud again. I still need to pace myself on cheese. I'm not making pizza, but maybe soon. Maybe I'm who I once was, or maybe I've just managed to fuse together whatever fractured when I divided myself and became a mother.
Apparently Peeps and Cadbury Eggs are Acceptable Pizza Toppings Now
Though some may recoil at this idea, if, like me, your two most beloved foods are pizza and Easter candy, listen up! Combine the two treasures by topping your pizza with something "fresh" and sweet: Peeps and Cadbury Eggs. Yes, these controversial add-ons are blowing up on the internet. Pictured above is a new, limited-edition pizza from London-based Deliveroo. Available from April 7-14, this dessert pizza comes with strawberry sauce, mascarpone, mint, and Cadbury Creme Eggs. Even if you can't make your way to London, you could certainly re-create it at home! In fact, I'm inspired to do so - like tomorrow.
Then, there's the Peepza, invented by Serious Eats. The glorious Peepza features a cheese pizza dotted with slightly melty Peep chicks. Twitter is saying this idea is way better than pineapple pizza. As a straight-up marshmallow-obsessed person, I'll go ahead and take a stance here. Yeah, marshmallow pizza sounds infinitely better than pineapple pizza. So, are you with me?
Riverdale: How Does Cole Sprouse Feel About Bughead? "Aroused," Obviously
When POPSUGAR and a group of reporters caught up with Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart at WonderCon, we had to get the unavoidable topic out of the way right from the get-go: "Bughead." And can you blame us? We've been shipping Betty and Jughead since the start of our Riverdale obsession, and there's no better source to discuss the fan-favorite pairing than the character-actors themselves!
When POPSUGAR asked Sprouse and Reinhart how they felt about the passionate fan reaction to Bughead, Cole's response was immediate. "Aroused!" he joked, adding a more serious response: "Uh yeah, it's flattering that people like it as much as they do."
"They're both kind of on the outside a little bit, and I think that's what brings them together."
Reinhart chimed in with a thoughtful reply, alluding to the pairing's comic origins: "I think because it's a little bit unexpected in a way, you know, because Jughead is kinda doing his own thing in the comics, so to see him relate to a girl is - you know, people are excited about that."
Sprouse agreed. "In multiple iterations he's asexual, in some iterations he's aromantic, and I think because this is a new universe this is definitely a different iteration," he explained of Jughead and the decision to cast him as Betty's suitor. "This is something that was kind of uncharted territory, and we didn't really know if it was gonna take. But it did, and people really love it. It got a huge response." And "huge response" is an understatement - the Bughead tags on Twitter and Tumblr are full of everything from fan fiction to dramatic memes.
When it comes to the reason why their characters make so much sense together, Reinhart feels passionately that it is actually Betty and Jughead's mutual alienation that draws them together. "Betty was always rejected by Archie, and he [Jughead] was always there to be the shoulder to cry on," she explained, continuing: "I think from our show's perspective, they're both so opposite on the outside in their appearances, but they're very similar on the inside; they're both kinda these tortured souls in a way, don't you think? So I mean, they're both kind of on the outside a little bit, and I think that's what brings them together."
Later, Sprouse shared his own take on why Betty and Jughead work so well together, both as a crime investigation team and as a romantic pairing:
"I think both of them have a great appreciation and nostalgia and fondness for a more pure, more better version of Riverdale . . . a more wholesome version of Riverdale. And so I think that yearning to sort of prove that it can still be a place that is good and not some sort of place of darkness is what drove them both to really, truly see it take that iteration once again: a more childlike, a more beautiful, flowery kind of iteration. And I think that similar passion is also the thing that sort of brought them close at the end of the day, and I think there's truth in that."
Hear that? It's the sound of the entire Bughead fandom sighing at once, us included. We can't wait to see what's in store for the couple; nothing could possibly go wrong with a couple whose foundation is murder mystery, right? And luckily for the show's fandom, it sounds like there's even more in store for Jughead and Betty in future seasons.
The producers of Riverdale later informed reporters that the plan for a Jughead/Betty pairing was already in motion by the time Jughead's asexuality was first mentioned in the comics, which explains the decision to include a romantic storyline for Sprouse's character. However, they also noted that they aren't opposed to exploring the concept of Jughead as asexual within the confines of a romantic relationship.
This idea begs the question: does that mean there are more Bughead-focused episodes on the horizon? Only time will tell.
The Often-Overlooked First Step to Investing (Hint: It’s Easy!)
Amanda Holden is a personal finance expert providing hilarious and practical financial advice on her site, The Dumpster Dog Blog.
Should you invest in Lululemon stock or Tesla stock? Facebook or Apple? Tech or health care? Have you studied your balance sheets? Forward-looking price-to-earnings ratios? Oil prices and housing starts?
J/K! None of that sh*t matters. (At least, not for most of us.)
With investing, the most important decision you make is not which stock you pick but whether you invest in stocks at all, or bonds, and cash, and other broad categories of investments (called "asset classes"). This big picture decision is called "asset allocation" and should be what gets the majority of your attention!
How does one determine asset allocation? By analyzing personal goals, which are the ovule of all investing decisions. They're unsexy and boring so folks tend to rush through 'em, but skipping this basic is like agreeing to marry someone without first checking to see if s/he has a job, wants kids, is potty trained, etc. First things first!
When looking at any pool of money, you must always first ask: What is this money for? In other words, what is the goal? Then, think about your goal through these three lenses:
- Time frame
- Risk
- Knowledge of how the different asset classes (stocks, bonds, cash, etc.) have performed and behave over time
Before we talk about No. 1 and No. 2, let's talk about No. 3 for a minute - a quick review of stocks and bonds is in order!
Yes, Donald Trump Actually Just Blamed Obama For the Syrian Chemical Attack
Donald Trump exploited the latest human rights atrocity in Syria as an opportunity to take a jab at his predecessor, Barack Obama, in a statement that is likely to incense you.
On April 4, Syrian civilians were reportedly subjected to a brutal sarin chemical attack in the Idlib region of the country. According to reports from The Guardian, at least 60 people died after warplanes dropped the toxic chemical over the province; at least 100 more were injured. Though the Syrian government denied responsibility, human rights groups and politicians were quick to place blame with President Bashar al-Assad, who is reasonably suspected to be responsible. This would be a war crime of the most punishable degree, and it would not be the first time Assad has been accused of attacking his own people with chemical weapons.
After reports of the attack circulated in the international press and across the internet, the White House really had no choice but to respond - but the way in which it did is downright galling.
An incredible written statement from a sitting US president http://pic.twitter.com/lFDTANyDCT
- Jon Passantino (@passantino) April 4, 2017
Not only does Trump attempt to blame his predecessor, President Obama, for the chemical attack and the lives it cost, but he also demonstrates an utter lack of consciousness and responsibility for America's own role in civilian casualties in the Middle East.
"Today's chemical attack in Syria against innocent people, including women and children, is reprehensible and cannot be ignored by the civilized world," Trump's statement reads. "These heinous actions by the Bashar al-Assad regime are a consequence of the past administration's weakness and irresolution. President Obama said in 2012 that he wold establish a 'red line' against the use of chemical weapons and then did nothing."
Since Trump took office - admittedly following Obama's blueprint for airstrikes in the region and recently heightening operations - America's military has reportedly been responsible for the killings of hundreds of people in Iraq, which borders Syria, in airstrikes. Just a few weeks ago, an American-led drone strike allegedly killed 200 civilians. Trump also authorized widely criticized raids in Yemen which resulted in civilian deaths. One assault of note killed 30 innocent Yemenis inside their homes and a Navy SEAL whose death has been described as "avoidable."
This all makes Trump's repudiation of Assad and blaming of Obama downright offensive. His statement on Assad's alleged attack appears less like a condemnation and more like an exploitation of innocent lives lost to attain the upper hand in a political feud.
Outlander's Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe Have a BFF Date at a Rugby Match
Thank you @THESTORMERS
What a result!!!!!
And so good to meet "4Ball" @iamSivN 😜@caitrionambalfe http://pic.twitter.com/8L2BKSEGNF- Sam Heughan (@SamHeughan) April 1, 2017
The season three premiere of Outlander is still a few (unbearable) months away, and it looks like Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe are making the most of their downtime. The costars and close friends attended a rugby match in Cape Town, South Africa, on April 1, which Sam documented with a fun photo. "Thank you @THESTORMERS What a result!!!!! And so good to meet '4Ball' @iamSivN @caitrionambalfe," he tweeted with the picture, which features them smiling at the camera in a sea of blue-clad fans of the Stormers. Although the picture is a simple selfie, it will no doubt send rumors of a potential romance into overdrive once again.
The two have consistently denied rumors they're anything more than friends ever since the fantasy series premiered, both from tabloids and from superfans eager to see their favorite characters - who play husband and wife on Outlander - fall in love in real life. Sam recently told POPSUGAR that Caitriona's "extremely talented and an extremely nice person, and we have a lot of fun," but that he sees her as a member of his family, not a girlfriend. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly last year, Caitriona also clarified that she and Sam are merely "best friends." Whatever their status is, we can't get enough of them.
9 Reasons You Should Eat More Avocado For Your Mind, Body, and Spirit
We all know that avocado is arguably one of the most delicious foods around, a versatile ingredient that enlivens dishes from guacamole to toast, and even drinks like smoothies. And we've heard that it's a healthy food too, full of good fats and lots of vitamins.
But we wanted to dig down a little deeper. What, exactly, is so healthy about avocados? And how can we use this knowledge to increase our avocado consumption even further?
Here are some of the fun facts we discovered about one of nature's finest superfoods.
- They're high in "good fat." Avocados are packed with monounsaturated fats, which fight heart disease and can reduce potentially harmful cholesterol.
- Antioxidants are abundant in avocado. Avocados are full of antioxidants, which are believed to protect cells from damage caused by free radicals.
- Avocados are chock-full of vitamins. Amounts of the vitamins in avocado can vary, but the fruit is full of important vitamins K, C, B5, B6, and E.
- They've got protein! Unlike many other fruits, an avocado actually contains protein. The amount of protein depends on the size of the fruit, but about 100 grams of avocado contains 2 grams of protein.
- You don't have to eat avocado to reap benefits. OK, eating avocados is really good for you, but it's also a great addition to your beauty routine.
- You can substitute avocado in place of more fattening oils or butter. The California Avocado Association details how avocado can be a healthier alternative to regular baking ingredients.
- It might be a nutrient booster. The growers' group also suggests that avocado consumption could help the body absorb other nutrients from food; one study seems to support this idea.
- They're good for pregnant women. Avocados contain folate, which is essential for growing babies.
- And don't forget about the potassium. Avocados, like bananas, contain potassium, which is an important mineral to consume for a number of bodily functions and processes.
Ease Tension in Your Hips and Back in Just 4 Minutes
If you have the ever-popular office job that involves sitting at a desk for eight hours a day, it can wreak havoc on your body, creating tight hips and lower back pain. Many stretches for your hips also stretch out your lower back, so these poses are like two for the price of one. It will only take about four minutes, but that's all you'll need to ease tension.
Butterfly
- Sit on the floor, bend both knees, and bring your feet together. Using your hands, open your feet up like a book, pressing your knees toward the floor with your elbows. If you want more of a stretch, extend your arms out in front of you.
- Stay here for five breaths (about 30 seconds).
Half Happy Baby
- Lie flat on your back. Bend the left knee and hold onto the outside edge of your flexed foot with your left hand. Keep your left arm on the outside of your leg.
- Gently use your upper body strength to press the left knee to the floor below your armpit. Try not to tense your shoulder or chest, but keep everything relaxed.
- Stay like this for five deep breaths, and then switch legs.
- Then do both legs together for another five breaths.
Pigeon
- Sit with your right knee bent and your left leg extended straight behind you. If your hips are flexible, inch your right foot away from you. Make sure your left hip is always pointing down toward the mat. If it begins to open up toward the ceiling, draw your right foot back in toward your body.
- Rest your hands on your hips or walk your hands out in front of you, allowing your torso to rest over your right knee.
- Hold here for five breaths, and then repeat Pigeon on the left side.
Double Pigeon
- Sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. Bend your right knee and place your knee, shin, and foot on the floor so they're parallel with your pelvis. Bend your left knee and place it on top so your knees, shins, and ankles are stacked. You'll know you're doing it right when you gaze down and see that your legs make a little triangle.
- To make this pose more intense, place your hands in front of your shins and walk them out as far as you can, folding your chest toward your legs.
- Stay here for five breaths, slowly release, and then switch legs so your right knee is on top.
Ease Tension in Your Hips and Back in Just 4 Minutes
If you have the ever-popular office job that involves sitting at a desk for eight hours a day, it can wreak havoc on your body, creating tight hips and lower back pain. Many stretches for your hips also stretch out your lower back, so these poses are like two for the price of one. It will only take about four minutes, but that's all you'll need to ease tension.
Butterfly
- Sit on the floor, bend both knees, and bring your feet together. Using your hands, open your feet up like a book, pressing your knees toward the floor with your elbows. If you want more of a stretch, extend your arms out in front of you.
- Stay here for five breaths (about 30 seconds).
Half Happy Baby
- Lie flat on your back. Bend the left knee and hold onto the outside edge of your flexed foot with your left hand. Keep your left arm on the outside of your leg.
- Gently use your upper body strength to press the left knee to the floor below your armpit. Try not to tense your shoulder or chest, but keep everything relaxed.
- Stay like this for five deep breaths, and then switch legs.
- Then do both legs together for another five breaths.
Pigeon
- Sit with your right knee bent and your left leg extended straight behind you. If your hips are flexible, inch your right foot away from you. Make sure your left hip is always pointing down toward the mat. If it begins to open up toward the ceiling, draw your right foot back in toward your body.
- Rest your hands on your hips or walk your hands out in front of you, allowing your torso to rest over your right knee.
- Hold here for five breaths, and then repeat Pigeon on the left side.
Double Pigeon
- Sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. Bend your right knee and place your knee, shin, and foot on the floor so they're parallel with your pelvis. Bend your left knee and place it on top so your knees, shins, and ankles are stacked. You'll know you're doing it right when you gaze down and see that your legs make a little triangle.
- To make this pose more intense, place your hands in front of your shins and walk them out as far as you can, folding your chest toward your legs.
- Stay here for five breaths, slowly release, and then switch legs so your right knee is on top.
Ease Tension in Your Hips and Back in Just 4 Minutes
If you have the ever-popular office job that involves sitting at a desk for eight hours a day, it can wreak havoc on your body, creating tight hips and lower back pain. Many stretches for your hips also stretch out your lower back, so these poses are like two for the price of one. It will only take about four minutes, but that's all you'll need to ease tension.
Butterfly
- Sit on the floor, bend both knees, and bring your feet together. Using your hands, open your feet up like a book, pressing your knees toward the floor with your elbows. If you want more of a stretch, extend your arms out in front of you.
- Stay here for five breaths (about 30 seconds).
Half Happy Baby
- Lie flat on your back. Bend the left knee and hold onto the outside edge of your flexed foot with your left hand. Keep your left arm on the outside of your leg.
- Gently use your upper body strength to press the left knee to the floor below your armpit. Try not to tense your shoulder or chest, but keep everything relaxed.
- Stay like this for five deep breaths, and then switch legs.
- Then do both legs together for another five breaths.
Pigeon
- Sit with your right knee bent and your left leg extended straight behind you. If your hips are flexible, inch your right foot away from you. Make sure your left hip is always pointing down toward the mat. If it begins to open up toward the ceiling, draw your right foot back in toward your body.
- Rest your hands on your hips or walk your hands out in front of you, allowing your torso to rest over your right knee.
- Hold here for five breaths, and then repeat Pigeon on the left side.
Double Pigeon
- Sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. Bend your right knee and place your knee, shin, and foot on the floor so they're parallel with your pelvis. Bend your left knee and place it on top so your knees, shins, and ankles are stacked. You'll know you're doing it right when you gaze down and see that your legs make a little triangle.
- To make this pose more intense, place your hands in front of your shins and walk them out as far as you can, folding your chest toward your legs.
- Stay here for five breaths, slowly release, and then switch legs so your right knee is on top.
5 Sites Better Than Craigslist
Craigslist has long been our go-to source for used furniture deals and secondhand steals, but there's no denying that the online classified website comes with its own set of risks, from sketchy sellers and unreliable buyers to goods that aren't all they seem. If you don't have time to pan for Craigslist gold but still want the incredible savings of gently used furniture, then you're going to love these Craigslist alternatives. Keep reading to discover the five sites that have taken the best of Craigslist, refined the process, and made it easier than ever to buy and sell online.
Queen Elizabeth II's Royal Job Description and the Duties Being Passed On to Her Family Members
Queen Elizabeth II's full title is monarch of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith and Supreme Governor of the The Church of England, and Head of The Armed Forces - but what does she actually do day to day? And as the most recent addition to the royal family, what is the Duchess of Cambridge's job description? Now that the queen has recently marked her 90th birthday, will other members of her family be taking over any of her duties - and more specifically, will any of her workload be passed on to Kate? We break it all down here!
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