Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
jeudi 4 mai 2017
I May Never Know if I Was Sexually Assaulted
All my life, these flashes have played in my mind like a choppy, hand-cranked silent film. I was in high school when the snippets suddenly began to make sense. I was no more than 3 or 4 years old. There was the crowded street in China - so blurry in my mind it could have been rendered in watercolor. There was the lucid flash of a stranger's hand grabbing mine and then the unmistakable image of my tiny hand being placed around his penis. But perhaps the most distinct image in this foggy vignette is the white substance that followed me home and somehow ended up on my mother's black dress.
The question remains: were these "flashes" memories of an incident that actually took place, or did my unreliable young brain create them? Was I sexually assaulted?
Sexual abuse survivors often have flashbacks of their assaults, triggered by the elements of daily life, that force them to relive the horrifying experience all over again. Experts recommend recognizing your triggers and avoiding them to the best of your ability, so as to prevent future flashbacks. But what if you're not sure that your assault even happened, so all you do is relive the maybe-incident in your mind repeatedly, voluntarily? What exactly does that do to a person?
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life, along with a dizzying swirl of contingent questions that rotate in my head, like "Why didn't my mom stop the assault? How could she be so oblivious? Did anyone else on the street see this happening?" But the most significant portion of this mystery that I am aching to solve is how it has affected me as a person throughout my life and into adulthood.
To help me put together the pieces of this puzzle, I enlisted the help of three experts who work with sexual assault survivors every day, including those who have trouble remembering their incidents. I would like to contribute to the important conversation by allowing others in a similar situation to feel less alone and to provide them with some answers.
Can Sexual Assault Be Forgotten?
According to Josie Torielli, assistant director of intervention programs at the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, these "forgotten" incidents happen "quite often." Though there aren't exact statistics for how many people have repressed memories of their sexual abuse, most sexual assault counselors and therapists have worked on such cases. "Forgetting" your sexual abuse is especially likely for young children "due to the developmental processes of the mind," Torielli says.
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life.This is true for all memories formed before a certain age - apparently, I refused to eat when I was a toddler, which I find inconceivable given my current appetite, but my mom swears it's true - but when there's trauma involved, your brain works overtime to "protect" you from these harmful memories and reliving the experience.
"In simple terms, our brains only allow us to experience what we are able to withstand," says Lindsey Pratt, a psychotherapist in New York City who specializes in sexual trauma and abuse. "This is one of the reasons why repression of traumatic childhood memories is so common, as children are not as well equipped to cope or make sense of fear, panic, anger, shame, or sadness as adults may be."
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode and activates a chemical called catecholamine, which is used to engage your fight-or-flight response. "Catecholamine also interferes with and impedes the encoding of memory," Torielli says. As a result, your brain locks these traumatic memories away in a special place, the limbic system, and pretty much throws away the key.
Pratt explains: "Theories on memory repression posit that trauma memories, including those which have been repressed, get 'stuck' in the limbic brain. They are then unable to integrate into the more logical, developed portion of the brain responsible for functional working memory, the prefrontal cortex, which is where our more 'normal' memories are stored."
In other words, memories of the pony at your fourth birthday party live in the prefrontal cortex, which you can access at any time, while memories of any kind of trauma live in the limbic system, which can be buried so deep you'll need a psychological excavation team to help you unearth anything.
The Problem With Repressed Memories
"Unfortunately, there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."Even though some experts have offered a scientific explanation for how and why your brain redacts certain incidents from your life transcript, others are not so quick to fully accept these explanations. Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and creator of A Survivor's Guide to Reclaiming Your Sex Life After Abuse, pointed out that this is a controversial topic within the psychotherapy community.
There have been a slew of cases over the last few decades that revealed that "repressed memory" therapy, which bubbled in popularity in the '90s, led to false memories and accusations. The issue was brought to the forefront when repressed memories were used to convict accused sexual abusers in court, only to have the alleged victim later recant their accusations. Some experts assert that, at the end of the day, there just isn't enough empirical evidence supporting the theory of repressed memories, even if it sounds completely plausible.
After all, memory in general can be a fickle and elusive beast.
"What we know about memory is that it is extremely malleable," Marin explains. "Each time we retrieve a memory, we have the capacity to alter or reframe it in some way."
Great. As if my brain weren't unreliable enough with regular memories from adulthood (I once blew the easiest job interview question ever when I was asked what my favorite bands were and my mind blanked), it seems all but impossible to know whether or not I should trust the fragments that flash in my mind of a supposed trauma that potentially occurred decades ago.
"Unfortunately," says Marin, "there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."
The Effects or Lack Thereof
Not knowing whether the sexual assault took place is agonizing on its own, but the real crux of my conundrum is the effects. If I was indeed sexually assaulted, how has it shaped me as a person and how has it influenced the course of my life? And can studying the effects help me figure out what happened?
According to my panel of experts, the effects come in all shapes and sizes.
"Trauma survivors usually experience symptoms of dissociation (numbing) or activation (hyperawareness)," Torielli says. "But sexual assault survivors can experience any kind of response. We often indicate that any response to sexual assault is normal."
And often, these effects can be similar to those felt by survivors who do not remember their abuse.
"Since repressed memories are still a part of a person's memory store, they may be triggered without a visible cause," Pratt explains. Triggers can include "certain sounds, smells, or locations," and their corresponding psychological responses can include "sweating, racing heart, or panic attacks with no logical precursor."
I have never experienced any of these visceral fear responses, but what about long-term effects?
Pratt adds: "[The survivor] may also have difficulty regulating emotions, such as anger or sadness, and the long-term impact can sometimes result in either hypersensitivity to emotions or the opposite effect, a flattening of emotions, as a subconscious means to cope with triggering situations."
My Evidence Is Inconclusive
It's been almost 30 years since the assault occurred, if it did indeed occur. What transpired in that period of time amounts to a normal life, by all outward appearances. I'm a writer. I have a healthy number of friends, close ones. I've had normal relationships with a motley bunch - no identifiable patterns, no underlying threads connecting these men, nothing sinister beneath the surface. They've ranged from cocky creative types to reliable computer nerds. I've never been abused by any of them, and I've never felt unsafe with any of them - or any man, for that matter. None of them have ever called my emotional behavior into question. In fact, I would dare say that my emotions are pretty even-keeled, save for the occasional bout of PMS. Plus, I seem to have an objectively normal relationship with sex.
Sex has never been a "thing" for me. It's not something I take very seriously or very lightly; it's just something people do. It's pleasurable, but also awkward, messy, and sometimes it's the root of all your problems. Sex sits on a sliding scale of importance, shrinking and expanding, appreciating and depreciating, depending on where I am in my ongoing adventures in existence. Sex is putty in my hands. It doesn't define me. I define it.
So . . . mystery solved?
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode.Then again, I do possess some traits that could potentially stem from my repressed abuse. For example, right after moving to the States at age 5, I struggled with an extreme reluctance to inform adults of any sort of discomfort. I remember falling down and scraping up my face in first grade and being in extreme pain, but when my teacher asked me if I needed to go to the nurse's office, I hesitated and said no. This seems like a pretty plausible case of minimizing or disassociation, or it could be explained by my shaky English at the time.
Perhaps the most convincing evidence of sexual assault in my past is my tendency to feel irrationally guilty in any given situation. I feel intense guilt over everything, from not saying hi to a co-worker in the hallway to under-tipping by one percent to breaking up with people, even when they really deserve it. In fact, I'd much rather be dumped than have to do the dumping because the guilt stays with me for months.
In fact, one more fragment that I "remember" is feeling guilty after the supposed incident. I remember feeling guilty for ruining my mom's lovely dress with the mysterious white substance. So maybe there's something to mine there. But then again, my guilt could be a product of being raised by very traditional, strict Asian parents, for whom nothing is ever good enough.
Moving On and Feeling Safe
I may not be any closer to knowing what my flashes amount to, whether a strange man on the busy streets of China actually put my hand on his penis and ejaculated onto me, but I have learned something absolute and far more important: sexual assault does not have to define me. The one thing that each and every expert I spoke to agreed on is that help is available and there's a multitude of options for every type of survivor.
"Healing and recovery cannot take place in isolation," Torielli says. "Survivors need support and to feel heard and understood." For her, that means helping survivors create a new narrative to allow the person to gain some control over the trauma. "The goal of treatment is never to erase the traumatic event, but to allow equal access to all the other parts of self," she says.
Pratt also helps her patients to reframe the story, to help them say, "I may have been victimized as a child, but I am safe now. I have created meaningful relationships and I am a survivor."
Marin has more universal advice that everyone, no matter their experience, should heed: "It's important to be extremely kind and gentle with yourself." For her clients who have gone through something traumatic like sexual assault, she helps them to create healthy and happy relationships with sex again. "It's important to shape your sex life in a way that meets your specific needs." Amen to that!
Sexual assault is an immeasurable experience. No matter what circumstances surround the assault, every instance of it is unfathomably awful, even if the instance is "forgotten." If it happened to you, it still happened to you. And everyone has the right to heal however they see fit. If you think you might have been abused but can't recall the incident, it is your prerogative if you want to take it upon yourself to search for the key that your brain threw away all those years ago. If trying to remember will help you to move forward, then get digging. But if you feel anxious about what you could potentially unearth and you're fine not knowing for sure, then that is also your choice. Either way, you should not feel ashamed for what has happened to you, and you are not alone.
What I have learned from my own personal excavation attempt is that it may be time for me to stop looking for that key. In talking to my team of experts, I've realized that I am extremely lucky to have come out of my potential trauma, and the stress of not knowing, unscathed. I haven't let my "flashes" of sexual abuse define me.
I never ended up confronting my mom about the flashes, and I don't think I will. The possibility of learning the truth from her is not worth the potential pain that might come with it, and I'm certainly not going to let this maybe-incident color my judgment of her as a mother. So I'm going to let my memories, flashes, figments of my imagination - whatever they are - stay hidden, and instead, I'm going to unlock something else, door number two. That door leads to a life without wondering, a life in which I focus on the happy and healthy things that I know for certain happened throughout my life. I think it's the life that 4-year-old me would have wanted to have.
13 Things Young Moms Are Tired of Hearing
While some women choose to wait a while before having kids, there are plenty who opt to start a family a bit earlier. Right now, most of those young women are millennials, and they're basking in the benefits of being a younger mom - more energy, less need for sleep, and a body that bounces back a bit quicker - but they're over it when it comes to getting asked the same questions, being told the same things, and honestly, being shamed for starting a family young.
These are 13 of those things that young moms are super tired of hearing - and if you're one of those moms, just practice your best fake smile/eye roll/polite laugh to get through it. Read on to see how it's done.
13 Exciting Milestones Princess Charlotte Hit Before Her Second Birthday
Princess Charlotte been a very busy little girl - but then again, she is no ordinary 2-year-old. When her father is king, she will be second in line to the throne, so there are more to her milestones than first word, first steps, and first tooth. Take a look at all the different things the little princess has done in her jam-packed first two years.
5 Minutes of This Booty-Building Workout Will Make Your Body Burn
Are you ready to feel the burn . . . in your glutes!? It's booty day - and we're doing a little plyo, a little cardio, and a lot of bodyweight strengthening that'll build that butt while blasting calories. These six moves don't require a gym or any equipment, so you can do them anywhere, any time. Take five minutes to go through the entire circuit, or repeat it a few times to get an even stronger burn and better workout. Bonus: These moves will totally help runners get stronger legs, glutes, and glute meds - which is all amazing for injury prevention!
Luis Miguel Is Giving Everyone a Look at His Life in This New TV Series
You couldn't turn on the radio in the '80s, '90s, and early 2000s without hearing Luis Miguel's voice, but the Mexican singer has been out of the spotlight for a while. That's about to change, because the music superstar is debuting a TV series based on his life.
Telemundo has been granted exclusive rights to broadcast the episodes in the US. "For decades I have been asked to tell my story, many have created their own versions, now I have decided to tell the true story of my life," Miguel stated in a press release. "I am ready to revisit my past and its many aspects that have sparked so much curiosity and speculation. People will travel alongside with me through a surprising, unexpected and emotional journey that has shaped the artist and the person that I am today." The series is set to premiere in 2018, but in the meantime, watch the trailer above.
I May Never Know if I Was Sexually Assaulted
All my life, these flashes have played in my mind like a choppy, hand-cranked silent film. I was in high school when the snippets suddenly began to make sense. I was no more than 3 or 4 years old. There was the crowded street in China - so blurry in my mind it could have been rendered in watercolor. There was the lucid flash of a stranger's hand grabbing mine and then the unmistakable image of my tiny hand being placed around his penis. But perhaps the most distinct image in this foggy vignette is the white substance that followed me home and somehow ended up on my mother's black dress.
The question remains: were these "flashes" memories of an incident that actually took place, or did my unreliable young brain create them? Was I sexually assaulted?
Sexual abuse survivors often have flashbacks of their assaults, triggered by the elements of daily life, that force them to relive the horrifying experience all over again. Experts recommend recognizing your triggers and avoiding them to the best of your ability, so as to prevent future flashbacks. But what if you're not sure that your assault even happened, so all you do is relive the maybe-incident in your mind repeatedly, voluntarily? What exactly does that do to a person?
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life, along with a dizzying swirl of contingent questions that rotate in my head, like "Why didn't my mom stop the assault? How could she be so oblivious? Did anyone else on the street see this happening?" But the most significant portion of this mystery that I am aching to solve is how it has affected me as a person throughout my life and into adulthood.
To help me put together the pieces of this puzzle, I enlisted the help of three experts who work with sexual assault survivors every day, including those who have trouble remembering their incidents. I would like to contribute to the important conversation by allowing others in a similar situation to feel less alone and to provide them with some answers.
Can Sexual Assault Be Forgotten?
According to Josie Torielli, assistant director of intervention programs at the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, these "forgotten" incidents happen "quite often." Though there aren't exact statistics for how many people have repressed memories of their sexual abuse, most sexual assault counselors and therapists have worked on such cases. "Forgetting" your sexual abuse is especially likely for young children "due to the developmental processes of the mind," Torielli says.
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life.This is true for all memories formed before a certain age - apparently, I refused to eat when I was a toddler, which I find inconceivable given my current appetite, but my mom swears it's true - but when there's trauma involved, your brain works overtime to "protect" you from these harmful memories and reliving the experience.
"In simple terms, our brains only allow us to experience what we are able to withstand," says Lindsey Pratt, a psychotherapist in New York City who specializes in sexual trauma and abuse. "This is one of the reasons why repression of traumatic childhood memories is so common, as children are not as well equipped to cope or make sense of fear, panic, anger, shame, or sadness as adults may be."
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode and activates a chemical called catecholamine, which is used to engage your fight-or-flight response. "Catecholamine also interferes with and impedes the encoding of memory," Torielli says. As a result, your brain locks these traumatic memories away in a special place, the limbic system, and pretty much throws away the key.
Pratt explains: "Theories on memory repression posit that trauma memories, including those which have been repressed, get 'stuck' in the limbic brain. They are then unable to integrate into the more logical, developed portion of the brain responsible for functional working memory, the prefrontal cortex, which is where our more 'normal' memories are stored."
In other words, memories of the pony at your fourth birthday party live in the prefrontal cortex, which you can access at any time, while memories of any kind of trauma live in the limbic system, which can be buried so deep you'll need a psychological excavation team to help you unearth anything.
The Problem With Repressed Memories
"Unfortunately, there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."Even though some experts have offered a scientific explanation for how and why your brain redacts certain incidents from your life transcript, others are not so quick to fully accept these explanations. Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and creator of A Survivor's Guide to Reclaiming Your Sex Life After Abuse, pointed out that this is a controversial topic within the psychotherapy community.
There have been a slew of cases over the last few decades that revealed that "repressed memory" therapy, which bubbled in popularity in the '90s, led to false memories and accusations. The issue was brought to the forefront when repressed memories were used to convict accused sexual abusers in court, only to have the alleged victim later recant their accusations. Some experts assert that, at the end of the day, there just isn't enough empirical evidence supporting the theory of repressed memories, even if it sounds completely plausible.
After all, memory in general can be a fickle and elusive beast.
"What we know about memory is that it is extremely malleable," Marin explains. "Each time we retrieve a memory, we have the capacity to alter or reframe it in some way."
Great. As if my brain weren't unreliable enough with regular memories from adulthood (I once blew the easiest job interview question ever when I was asked what my favorite bands were and my mind blanked), it seems all but impossible to know whether or not I should trust the fragments that flash in my mind of a supposed trauma that potentially occurred decades ago.
"Unfortunately," says Marin, "there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."
The Effects or Lack Thereof
Not knowing whether the sexual assault took place is agonizing on its own, but the real crux of my conundrum is the effects. If I was indeed sexually assaulted, how has it shaped me as a person and how has it influenced the course of my life? And can studying the effects help me figure out what happened?
According to my panel of experts, the effects come in all shapes and sizes.
"Trauma survivors usually experience symptoms of dissociation (numbing) or activation (hyperawareness)," Torielli says. "But sexual assault survivors can experience any kind of response. We often indicate that any response to sexual assault is normal."
And often, these effects can be similar to those felt by survivors who do not remember their abuse.
"Since repressed memories are still a part of a person's memory store, they may be triggered without a visible cause," Pratt explains. Triggers can include "certain sounds, smells, or locations," and their corresponding psychological responses can include "sweating, racing heart, or panic attacks with no logical precursor."
I have never experienced any of these visceral fear responses, but what about long-term effects?
Pratt adds: "[The survivor] may also have difficulty regulating emotions, such as anger or sadness, and the long-term impact can sometimes result in either hypersensitivity to emotions or the opposite effect, a flattening of emotions, as a subconscious means to cope with triggering situations."
My Evidence Is Inconclusive
It's been almost 30 years since the assault occurred, if it did indeed occur. What transpired in that period of time amounts to a normal life, by all outward appearances. I'm a writer. I have a healthy number of friends, close ones. I've had normal relationships with a motley bunch - no identifiable patterns, no underlying threads connecting these men, nothing sinister beneath the surface. They've ranged from cocky creative types to reliable computer nerds. I've never been abused by any of them, and I've never felt unsafe with any of them - or any man, for that matter. None of them have ever called my emotional behavior into question. In fact, I would dare say that my emotions are pretty even-keeled, save for the occasional bout of PMS. Plus, I seem to have an objectively normal relationship with sex.
Sex has never been a "thing" for me. It's not something I take very seriously or very lightly; it's just something people do. It's pleasurable, but also awkward, messy, and sometimes it's the root of all your problems. Sex sits on a sliding scale of importance, shrinking and expanding, appreciating and depreciating, depending on where I am in my ongoing adventures in existence. Sex is putty in my hands. It doesn't define me. I define it.
So . . . mystery solved?
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode.Then again, I do possess some traits that could potentially stem from my repressed abuse. For example, right after moving to the States at age 5, I struggled with an extreme reluctance to inform adults of any sort of discomfort. I remember falling down and scraping up my face in first grade and being in extreme pain, but when my teacher asked me if I needed to go to the nurse's office, I hesitated and said no. This seems like a pretty plausible case of minimizing or disassociation, or it could be explained by my shaky English at the time.
Perhaps the most convincing evidence of sexual assault in my past is my tendency to feel irrationally guilty in any given situation. I feel intense guilt over everything, from not saying hi to a co-worker in the hallway to under-tipping by one percent to breaking up with people, even when they really deserve it. In fact, I'd much rather be dumped than have to do the dumping because the guilt stays with me for months.
In fact, one more fragment that I "remember" is feeling guilty after the supposed incident. I remember feeling guilty for ruining my mom's lovely dress with the mysterious white substance. So maybe there's something to mine there. But then again, my guilt could be a product of being raised by very traditional, strict Asian parents, for whom nothing is ever good enough.
Moving On and Feeling Safe
I may not be any closer to knowing what my flashes amount to, whether a strange man on the busy streets of China actually put my hand on his penis and ejaculated onto me, but I have learned something absolute and far more important: sexual assault does not have to define me. The one thing that each and every expert I spoke to agreed on is that help is available and there's a multitude of options for every type of survivor.
"Healing and recovery cannot take place in isolation," Torielli says. "Survivors need support and to feel heard and understood." For her, that means helping survivors create a new narrative to allow the person to gain some control over the trauma. "The goal of treatment is never to erase the traumatic event, but to allow equal access to all the other parts of self," she says.
Pratt also helps her patients to reframe the story, to help them say, "I may have been victimized as a child, but I am safe now. I have created meaningful relationships and I am a survivor."
Marin has more universal advice that everyone, no matter their experience, should heed: "It's important to be extremely kind and gentle with yourself." For her clients who have gone through something traumatic like sexual assault, she helps them to create healthy and happy relationships with sex again. "It's important to shape your sex life in a way that meets your specific needs." Amen to that!
Sexual assault is an immeasurable experience. No matter what circumstances surround the assault, every instance of it is unfathomably awful, even if the instance is "forgotten." If it happened to you, it still happened to you. And everyone has the right to heal however they see fit. If you think you might have been abused but can't recall the incident, it is your prerogative if you want to take it upon yourself to search for the key that your brain threw away all those years ago. If trying to remember will help you to move forward, then get digging. But if you feel anxious about what you could potentially unearth and you're fine not knowing for sure, then that is also your choice. Either way, you should not feel ashamed for what has happened to you, and you are not alone.
What I have learned from my own personal excavation attempt is that it may be time for me to stop looking for that key. In talking to my team of experts, I've realized that I am extremely lucky to have come out of my potential trauma, and the stress of not knowing, unscathed. I haven't let my "flashes" of sexual abuse define me.
I never ended up confronting my mom about the flashes, and I don't think I will. The possibility of learning the truth from her is not worth the potential pain that might come with it, and I'm certainly not going to let this maybe-incident color my judgment of her as a mother. So I'm going to let my memories, flashes, figments of my imagination - whatever they are - stay hidden, and instead, I'm going to unlock something else, door number two. That door leads to a life without wondering, a life in which I focus on the happy and healthy things that I know for certain happened throughout my life. I think it's the life that 4-year-old me would have wanted to have.
Luis Miguel Is Giving Everyone a Look at His Life in This New TV Series
You couldn't turn on the radio in the '80s, '90s and early 2000s without hearing Luis Miguel's voice, but the Mexican singer has been out of the spotlight for a while. That's about to change, because the music superstar is debuting a TV series based on his life.
Telemundo has been granted exclusive rights to broadcast the episodes in the US. "For decades I have been asked to tell my story, many have created their own versions, now I have decided to tell the true story of my life," Luis Miguel stated in a press release. "I am ready to revisit my past and its many aspects that have sparked so much curiosity and speculation. People will travel alongside with me through a surprising, unexpected and emotional journey that has shaped the artist and the person that I am today." The series is set to premiere in 2018, but in the meantime, watch the trailer above.
5 Minutes of This Booty-Building Workout Will Make Your Body Burn
Are you ready to feel the burn . . . in your glutes!? It's booty day - and we're doing a little plyo, a little cardio, and a lot of bodyweight strengthening that'll build that butt while blasting calories. These six moves don't require a gym or any equipment, so you can do them anywhere, any time. Take five minutes to go through the entire circuit, or repeat it a few times to get an even stronger burn and better workout. Bonus: These moves will totally help runners get stronger legs, glutes, and glute meds - which is all amazing for injury prevention!
13 Things Young Moms Are Tired of Hearing
While some women choose to wait a while before having kids, there are plenty who opt to start a family a bit earlier. Right now, most of those young women are millennials, and they're basking in the benefits of being a younger mom - more energy, less need for sleep, and a body that bounces back a bit quicker - but they're over it when it comes to getting asked the same questions, being told the same things, and honestly, being shamed for starting a family young.
These are 13 of those things that young moms are super tired of hearing - and if you're one of those moms, just practice your best fake smile/eye roll/polite laugh to get through it. Read on to see how it's done.
These Father-Daughter Illustrations Are Sweet Enough to Make a Grown Man Cry
It's hard to put into words why the relationship between a father and a daughter is so special. Perhaps that's why Ukrainian artist Snezhana Soosh decided to use watercolor paints.
In her recent series of Instagram illustrations, Soosh depicts the sweet-yet-silly bond between a dad and his little girl, whether it's braiding her hair or giving up a sizable portion of a king-size bed to make sure she sleeps soundly. Although the magic captured in the drawings focuses on one very loving dad (and his adorable daddy's girl), there are some any parent can relate to, like the need to look away from that massive pile of work to enjoy imaginary tea time . . . or play a rousing game of hide-and-seek.
We hope Soosh continues to paint these beautiful depictions of fatherly love - they serve as wonderful reminders that there are no limits to the ways a daddy can love his daughter.
These Father-Daughter Illustrations Are Sweet Enough to Make a Grown Man Cry
It's hard to put into words why the relationship between a father and a daughter is so special. Perhaps that's why Ukrainian artist Snezhana Soosh decided to use watercolor paints.
In her recent series of Instagram illustrations, Soosh depicts the sweet-yet-silly bond between a dad and his little girl, whether it's braiding her hair or giving up a sizable portion of a king-size bed to make sure she sleeps soundly. Although the magic captured in the drawings focuses on one very loving dad (and his adorable daddy's girl), there are some any parent can relate to, like the need to look away from that massive pile of work to enjoy imaginary tea time . . . or play a rousing game of hide-and-seek.
We hope Soosh continues to paint these beautiful depictions of fatherly love - they serve as wonderful reminders that there are no limits to the ways a daddy can love his daughter.
It's Hard to Miss Who Kate Middleton's Stylist Channeled on Her Wedding Day
Stylist Natasha Archer - the woman behind Kate Middleton's countless elegant looks - got married at a chateau next to Bordeaux, France this past weekend. The Duchess of Cambridge's personal stylist married Chris Jackson, who also works closely with the royal family as a Getty Images photographer.
While the ceremony was stunning, we couldn't help but notice the major similarities between the dress Natasha wore and Kate's Alexander McQueen wedding dress - both have elegant lace sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a long train. We have to say we're not that surprised, since they clearly have similar taste in fashion. Scroll on to have a look at the similarities between the weddings dresses below.
Sorry, Congress, But My C-Section Is Not a "Preexisting Condition"
Dear Congress,
I've been watching with great interest as you attempt to pass the American Health Care Act, which now lies with the Senate after narrowly passing the House. In truth, I don't have Obamacare, instead getting coverage through my husbands's employer. But as a freelance writer, I watched many of my friends sign up and have healthcare coverage for the first time. What a gift.
I understand it's not a perfect system, but that's pretty much par for the course with American healthcare, with its difficult-to-navigate referral and billing processes (I paid more for my post-miscarriage outpatient D and C - that's dilation and curettage for those of you who aren't familiar with the emotionally painful procedure - than I did for my first C-section, hospital stay, and my daughter's five-day stay in the NICU, so obviously, we're dealing with a flawed system). Yet, I feel blessed to have insurance, just as I know my friends who get their insurance through the Affordable Care Act do.
Oh, here's the other thing: we're all women, and we're smart, and we see what you're trying to do with your new bill, and we're not happy.
This act seems to say that because we're women, who come with the expensive, messy problems of pregnancy and childbirth, we don't deserve the same kind of low-cost coverage as, say, a white male marathon runner who's never had a health problem in his life. We get that the insurance companies would prefer that guy, but that doesn't mean our government should. Actually, it means the exact opposite. You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
I am the mother of two children, and I delivered them both by C-section. I guess, if you were a jerk about it, you could call my second Cesarean preexisting, in that my doctor knew that was the safest way for me to deliver my second child and scheduled the surgery well in advance.
But my first C-section? That one came after my water breaking in the middle of the night, 16 long hours of labor, multiple epidurals that didn't work and left me with uncontrollable phantom itching, and a cervix that stopped dilating at 6 centimeters (10 is the magic number, gentlemen).
So, after all that work on my part, my doctor suggested I have a C-section. I cried, not wanting to admit that my body just wasn't doing what it was supposed to do to deliver my baby. Then I relented, and less than 30 minutes later, I had a beautiful, perfect eight-pound daughter. There was no followed birth plan, no preexisting anything, just her, coming into this world in the safest way possible for us both.
I am not alone in my need for a C-section. More than 30 percent of American mothers have had one, because, like me, their labors failed to progress, or because their baby was breech, or their placenta was covering their cervix, or their bodies couldn't handle the stress of labor and delivery. Do these mothers deserve to pay much, much more than they already are to have their babies because of something they couldn't control and wouldn't have chosen? Because no one I know wants to have a painful surgery or a stomach full of staples unless that's the only way they can ensure the health of their babies and themselves. Punishing us by not requiring our insurers to cover that surgery seems, if not criminal, than most definitely immoral.
So, Congress, let's start prioritizing your constituents - even the ones who can bear children - over the insurance companies. We are women, and we vote, so maybe think about protecting our healthcare rights, too.
Sincerely,
American women everywhere
The Internet Is Freaking Out Over This Teen's Prom Dress That She Made the Night Before
Most high schoolers spend months searching for the perfect prom dress, but Shami Oshun is no ordinary teen. The 17-year-old's prom dress is trending like wildfire on the internet, and once you see it, you'll understand why. Armed with just $15, Shami transformed an old dress into something stunning. But here's the amazing part: she started the night before her prom (yes, you read that right).
The strapless purple gown featured floor-length tulle and had gorgeous purple flowers sewn onto the train. The best part of the story? Halfway through her prom, Shami chopped off the bottom half of her dress (because the flowers were too heavy for the fabric) and debuted a whole new look that was equally as stunning. Have a look at both variations of the talented teen's awe-inspiring masterpiece ahead.
We Kinda Get Why Everyone Is Shipping Dylan Minnette and Katherine Langford
After 13 Reasons Why premiered on Netflix in March, the world was introduced to their new favorite couple: Hannah Baker and Clay Jensen. While the two, played by Katherine Langford and Dylan Minnette, don't end up together on the show because Hannah tragically takes her own life, their characters still shared an incredibly sweet bond. It's also later, after Hannah is already dead, that Clay confesses his deep love for her. Viewers are then shown a heartbreaking montage of what their lives could have been like had Hannah not killed herself and they were able to be together.
Fans of the show really want them to date in real life, but Dylan is happily taken by his girlfriend of a few years, Ray Donovan actress Kerris Dorsey. And despite things not working out the way we'd hoped on screen, Dylan and Katherine are actually really great friends. Whether they're promoting their show (that will most likely get a second season) together or just hanging out on a random weekend, they're still all kinds of (platonic) cute.
9 People in Selena Gomez's Squad
When Selena Gomez isn't off touring across the world and singing her heart out, she is often spending time with some of her friends. She definitely has some famous friends like Taylor Swift, but not all of them are in the limelight.
"I would say the biggest lesson that I've been learning since 2016 would definitely be awareness," she said on Instagram Live. "I think it's really important to be aware of, like, the people that you're surrounding yourself with, the people that are purposefully the ones you are spending time with." Clearly, Selena isn't going to spend her free time with just anyone - check out who's in her inner circle.
Sorry, Congress, but My C-Section Is Not a "Preexisting Condition"
Dear Congress,
I've been watching with great interest as you attempt to pass the American Health Care Act, which now lies with the Senate after narrowly passing the House. In truth, I don't have Obamacare, instead getting coverage through my husband's employer. But as a freelance writer, I watched many of my friends sign up and have healthcare coverage for the first time. What a gift.
I understand it's not a perfect system, but that's pretty much par for the course with American health care with its difficult-to-navigate referral and billing processes (I paid more for my postmiscarriage outpatient D and C - that's dilation and curettage, for those of you who aren't familiar with the emotionally painful procedure - than I did for my first C-section, hospital stay, and my daughter's five-day stay in the NICU, so obviously, we're dealing with a flawed system). Yet, I feel blessed to have insurance, just as I know my friends who get their insurance through the Affordable Care Act do.
Oh, here's the other thing: we're all women, and we're smart, and we see what you're trying to do with your new bill, and we're not happy.
This act seems to say that because we're women, who come with the expensive, messy problems of pregnancy and childbirth, we don't deserve the same kind of low-cost coverage as, say, a white male marathon runner who's never had a health problem in his life. We get that the insurance companies would prefer that guy, but that doesn't mean our government should. Actually, it means the exact opposite. You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
I am the mother of two children, and I delivered them both by C-section. I guess, if you were a jerk about it, you could call my second Cesarean preexisting, in that my doctor knew that was the safest way for me to deliver my second child and scheduled the surgery well in advance.
But my first C-section? That one came after my water breaking in the middle of the night, 16 long hours of labor, multiple epidurals that didn't work and left me with uncontrollable phantom itching, and a cervix that stopped dilating at 6 centimeters (10 is the magic number, gentlemen).
So, after all that work on my part, my doctor suggested I have a C-section. I cried, not wanting to admit that my body just wasn't doing what it was supposed to do to deliver my baby. Then I relented, and less than 30 minutes later, I had a beautiful, perfect eight-pound daughter. There was no followed birth plan, no preexisting anything, just her, coming into this world in the safest way possible for us both.
I am not alone in my need for a C-section. More than 30 percent of American mothers have had one, because, like me, their labor failed to progress, or because their baby was breech, or their placenta was covering their cervix, or their bodies couldn't handle the stress of labor and delivery. Do these mothers deserve to pay much, much more than they already are to have their babies because of something they couldn't control and wouldn't have chosen? Because no one I know wants to have a painful surgery or a stomach full of staples unless that's the only way they can ensure the health of their babies and themselves. Punishing us by not requiring our insurers to cover that surgery seems, if not criminal, then most definitely immoral.
So, Congress, let's start prioritizing your constituents - even the ones who can bear children - over the insurance companies. We are women, and we vote, so maybe think about protecting our healthcare rights, too.
Sincerely,
American women everywhere
9 People in Selena Gomez's Squad
When Selena Gomez isn't off touring across the world and singing her heart out, she is often spending time with some of her friends. She definitely has some famous friends like Taylor Swift, but not all of them are in the limelight.
"I would say the biggest lesson that I've been learning since 2016 would definitely be awareness," she said on Instagram Live. "I think it's really important to be aware of, like, the people that you're surrounding yourself with, the people that are purposefully the ones you are spending time with." Clearly, Selena isn't going to spend her free time with just anyone - check out who's in her inner circle.
The Internet Is Freaking Out Over This Teen's Prom Dress That She Made the Night Before
Most high schoolers spend months searching for the perfect prom dress, but Shami Oshun is no ordinary teen. The 17-year-old's prom dress is trending like wildfire on the internet, and once you see it, you'll understand why. Armed with just $15, Shami transformed an old dress into something stunning. But here's the amazing part: she started the night before her prom (yes, you read that right).
The strapless purple gown featured floor-length tulle and had gorgeous purple flowers sewn onto the train. The best part of the story? Halfway through her prom, Shami chopped off the bottom half of her dress (because the flowers were too heavy for the fabric) and debuted a whole new look that was equally as stunning. Have a look at both variations of the talented teen's awe-inspiring masterpiece ahead.
The Habits Jessica Formed to Lose 75 Pounds Also Changed Her Life
I first saw Jess at Barry's Bootcamp - she was taking class, but she may as well have been leading it. She was front and center on the floor, serving as our instructor's example of how to do all the moves properly. She was kicking some serious ass . . . and it was her third class of the day. After telling her "What I would give for your stamina," she was quick to tell me, "I used to be 245 pounds."
Jessica: Before
I didn't believe her until she pulled out her laptop and started showing me photos from her life in Wisconsin. The San Francisco-based lead instructor for Flywheel indoor cycling talks more about her next cardio class or which race she's training for than she does about her transformation. She set out with a goal that wasn't attached to numbers or a scale - she just wanted to feel better. One thing lead to the next, and she's now a fitness powerhouse, all-star trainer, and major inspiration in the Bay Area. Oh, and she lost 75 pounds in the process. Check it out.
POPSUGAR: What made you decide to start your weight-loss journey?
Jessica Forseth: I was living in Minneapolis and hit a point where I realized I just didn't feel good. I had a somewhat regular workout routine but was always intimidated to try anything new or take other classes. Around that time I was hospitalized with two blood clots in my lungs. They weren't related to weight or even diet, but it was a bit of a wake-up call that I needed to create healthier habits, focusing on what I could control versus genetic disorders.
PS: What do you think contributed to your weight gain?
JF: Throughout college and even shortly after while still living in Minneapolis, I found myself going out three to five nights a week; whether it was just a happy hour or an all-nighter, the alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day. Even as I became more active, it was never enough to offset the late-night mac and cheese, pizza, or the beer (hello, Wisconsin!).
"The alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day."
PS: What approaches had you tried to lose weight?
JF: One day I just decided I needed to force myself to get in shape and stick to a plan - my job title was even a planner, I thrive with a plan! - and I signed up for a half marathon. On a whim. Creating the training plan and just learning the best ways to fuel your body helped so much! When I moved to San Francisco, I got even more dedicated: I signed up for more races, added in cross-training, and was always reading up on nutrition, fitness, and recovery. I was tracking everything I ate and very, very, very disciplined. While this worked initially, it really wasn't sustainable; dwelling on every single calorie was an even bigger mental roadblock! My love for fitness and staying active was the key. I learned what foods fueled my body best. It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!
PS: What's your favorite way to work out?
JF: I am a sucker for high intensity! I love loud music, high-energy atmospheres where I can just get lost in the moment and variety. I'm always mixing up cardio and strength training at Flywheel and Barry's Bootcamp or running around San Francisco sightseeing.
Jessica: After
PS: What made you decide to become a Flywheel instructor?
JF: It's a funny story, actually. I used to be very anti-Spin class. I would take cycling classes at my gym as a way to force myself to cross-train and was always so bored and didn't feel like I got a great workout. I tried my first Flywheel class in Sunnyvale and not only did I get my butt kicked, I had a blast! I knew right then and there that I wanted to be that person helping everyone else find the fun in fitness and push themselves to places they didn't know they were capable of. Being able to turn a passion into a career has been so rewarding, especially since I can relate to everyone in that room, from beginner to advanced.
PS: What do you love most about Flywheel?
JF: I love the intensity and the community. There's something so empowering about a room full of people all working their asses off, no matter what their goal is. The torqboard and power scores keep me accountable, too! I like that I can just zone out and get lost in music for 45 minutes and come out feeling both refreshed and exhausted at the same time!
PS: What's your weekly exercise schedule?
JF: I try to focus my own workouts on strength training. I teach 10 to 12 Flywheel classes a week and am always committed to riding hard with my class, so strength training is so essential to help me prevent injuries! On top of teaching, I will usually take three to four Flywheel classes, go to Barry's Bootcamp five days a week, and yoga one day. When I can, I sneak in a jog outside!
PS: How do you keep workouts exciting?
JF: The best thing for me has been finding group fitness and this community! I still love a good solo run or weightlifting session, but finding workout buddies helps make it social as well! Planks are a little less torturous when you can laugh about it with a friend next to you. Taking advantage of the Bay Area is also great - just a stroll through the city hills with coffee and a buddy is a great booty workout!
PS: How much weight have you lost?
JF: In total I've lost around 75 pounds.
Jessica: Before
PS: What was the first big difference, other than the number on the scale, that really made you feel proud and excited?
JF: The biggest thing for me has been the mental change. That's what I am most proud of. I was always intimidated to try anything new or even ashamed and had the mentality that I could never do something or wasn't strong enough to even try. I've proven myself wrong so many times now that my mindset has completely shifted to "why not?" and now I LOVE pushing my limits and finding new ways to challenge myself. I was holding myself back and didn't even realize it!
PS: How do you track your weight loss?
JF: I've stopped weighing myself regularly so don't track it like I used to because I can always tell when I just don't feel as great as I know I should. That usually tells me more than the scale!
PS: What's a typical day of meals and snacks?
JF: I am always on the go running between classes, our three Bay Area studios, or my own workouts and meetings so I am adamant about starting my day with a good breakfast and carrying tons of healthy snack options. My go-to breakfast is an egg with avocado, berries, and coffee. All the coffee. I eat a lot of small meals or snacks throughout the day to keep me fueled: oatmeal with almond butter, RXbars, fruit, or nuts. I try to have a really big salad for lunch or some sort of protein and veggie combo to keep me going.
PS: Do you count calories? What's the range of calories you eat per day?
JF: I use MyFitnessPal to track; I find it keeps me accountable. Having spent years trying to lose weight, I am still very calorie-conscious, but now I try not to focus as much on calories as I do on eating clean, whole foods when I'm truly hungry. I'm so active I need the fuel, but tracking helps me choose better fuel sources. On average I range between 1,700 and 2,000 calories a day depending on my schedule and how many hours I will be sweating that day!
Jessica: After
PS: What are the healthy staples that are always in your fridge?
JF: Eggs, avocados, berries, and veggies to roast. I've been on a big brussels sprouts and asparagus kick lately! I also always have easy to grab snacks like RXbars and Justin's Almond Butter packets to throw in my purse.
PS: How do you strategize for meals out?
JF: I try to look ahead at the menu and check out what the healthier options are. But let's be real, if I'm going out to eat, it's probably for a special occasion and I am going to enjoy the chips and guacamole because what is life without chips and guacamole? Or ice cream and cookies, but that's another story.
"It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!"
PS: Do you use a fitness tracker? Which one, and how do you think it helped you?
JF: I used to use a FitBit regularly. I loved being able to track sleep, workouts, and steps, but I don't think it was prepared for the amount of hours I sweat each day as I've broken three of them.
PS: What role did Flywheel play in your journey?
JF: Being able to turn my passion into a career and take all of my own experiences - the ups, downs, good, bad, all of the lessons - into the stadium and share with this community has been so rewarding. Everyone I get to interact with every day, from the riders to instructors to our leaders, inspires me and keep me motivated to keep pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and never settling. They make me want to be better and stronger and never look back. I just hope that every time I get on that podium I can inspire someone in that room to do something they didn't think they could do because I was once that person who could barely run a block and was too afraid to even try a cycling class.
Jessica: After
PS: What advice do you have for anyone starting out on a weight-loss journey?
JF: Know that it's a long journey and it's never ending - it's not about setting one goal and then being done. It's a forever goal. It's a lifestyle. Not every day will be the healthiest or best day, but know that's not the end. And find the fun factor in your fitness routine! Whatever it is - friends, a class, your playlists - that makes you look forward to your sweat sesh.
We Kinda Get Why Everyone Is Shipping Dylan Minnette and Katherine Langford
After 13 Reasons Why premiered on Netflix in March, the world was introduced to their new favorite couple: Hannah Baker and Clay Jensen. While the two, played by Katherine Langford and Dylan Minnette, don't end up together on the show because Hannah tragically takes her own life, their characters still shared an incredibly sweet bond. It's also later, after Hannah is already dead, that Clay confesses his deep love for her. Viewers are then shown a heartbreaking montage of what their lives could have been like had Hannah not killed herself and they were able to be together.
Fans of the show really want them to date in real life, but Dylan is happily taken by his girlfriend of a few years, Ray Donovan actress Kerris Dorsey. And despite things not working out the way we'd hoped on screen, Dylan and Katherine are actually really great friends. Whether they're promoting their show (that will most likely get a second season) together or just hanging out on a random weekend, they're still all kinds of (platonic) cute.
The Habits Jessica Formed to Lose 75 Pounds Also Changed Her Life
I first saw Jess at Barry's Bootcamp - she was taking class, but she may as well have been leading it. She was front and center on the floor, serving as our instructor's example of how to do all the moves properly. She was kicking some serious ass . . . and it was her third class of the day. After telling her "What I would give for your stamina," she was quick to tell me, "I used to be 245 pounds."
Jessica: Before
I didn't believe her until she pulled out her laptop and started showing me photos from her life in Wisconsin. The San Francisco-based lead instructor for Flywheel indoor cycling talks more about her next cardio class or which race she's training for than she does about her transformation. She set out with a goal that wasn't attached to numbers or a scale - she just wanted to feel better. One thing lead to the next, and she's now a fitness powerhouse, all-star trainer, and major inspiration in the Bay Area. Oh, and she lost 75 pounds in the process. Check it out.
POPSUGAR: What made you decide to start your weight-loss journey?
Jessica Forseth: I was living in Minneapolis and hit a point where I realized I just didn't feel good. I had a somewhat regular workout routine but was always intimidated to try anything new or take other classes. Around that time I was hospitalized with two blood clots in my lungs. They weren't related to weight or even diet, but it was a bit of a wake-up call that I needed to create healthier habits, focusing on what I could control versus genetic disorders.
PS: What do you think contributed to your weight gain?
JF: Throughout college and even shortly after while still living in Minneapolis, I found myself going out three to five nights a week; whether it was just a happy hour or an all-nighter, the alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day. Even as I became more active, it was never enough to offset the late-night mac and cheese, pizza, or the beer (hello, Wisconsin!).
"The alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day."
PS: What approaches had you tried to lose weight?
JF: One day I just decided I needed to force myself to get in shape and stick to a plan - my job title was even a planner, I thrive with a plan! - and I signed up for a half marathon. On a whim. Creating the training plan and just learning the best ways to fuel your body helped so much! When I moved to San Francisco, I got even more dedicated: I signed up for more races, added in cross-training, and was always reading up on nutrition, fitness, and recovery. I was tracking everything I ate and very, very, very disciplined. While this worked initially, it really wasn't sustainable; dwelling on every single calorie was an even bigger mental roadblock! My love for fitness and staying active was the key. I learned what foods fueled my body best. It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!
PS: What's your favorite way to work out?
JF: I am a sucker for high intensity! I love loud music, high-energy atmospheres where I can just get lost in the moment and variety. I'm always mixing up cardio and strength training at Flywheel and Barry's Bootcamp or running around San Francisco sightseeing.
Jessica: After
PS: What made you decide to become a Flywheel instructor?
JF: It's a funny story, actually. I used to be very anti-Spin class. I would take cycling classes at my gym as a way to force myself to cross-train and was always so bored and didn't feel like I got a great workout. I tried my first Flywheel class in Sunnyvale and not only did I get my butt kicked, I had a blast! I knew right then and there that I wanted to be that person helping everyone else find the fun in fitness and push themselves to places they didn't know they were capable of. Being able to turn a passion into a career has been so rewarding, especially since I can relate to everyone in that room, from beginner to advanced.
PS: What do you love most about Flywheel?
JF: I love the intensity and the community. There's something so empowering about a room full of people all working their asses off, no matter what their goal is. The torqboard and power scores keep me accountable, too! I like that I can just zone out and get lost in music for 45 minutes and come out feeling both refreshed and exhausted at the same time!
PS: What's your weekly exercise schedule?
JF: I try to focus my own workouts on strength training. I teach 10 to 12 Flywheel classes a week and am always committed to riding hard with my class, so strength training is so essential to help me prevent injuries! On top of teaching, I will usually take three to four Flywheel classes, go to Barry's Bootcamp five days a week, and yoga one day. When I can, I sneak in a jog outside!
PS: How do you keep workouts exciting?
JF: The best thing for me has been finding group fitness and this community! I still love a good solo run or weightlifting session, but finding workout buddies helps make it social as well! Planks are a little less torturous when you can laugh about it with a friend next to you. Taking advantage of the Bay Area is also great - just a stroll through the city hills with coffee and a buddy is a great booty workout!
PS: How much weight have you lost?
JF: In total I've lost around 75 pounds.
Jessica: Before
PS: What was the first big difference, other than the number on the scale, that really made you feel proud and excited?
JF: The biggest thing for me has been the mental change. That's what I am most proud of. I was always intimidated to try anything new or even ashamed and had the mentality that I could never do something or wasn't strong enough to even try. I've proven myself wrong so many times now that my mindset has completely shifted to "why not?" and now I LOVE pushing my limits and finding new ways to challenge myself. I was holding myself back and didn't even realize it!
PS: How do you track your weight loss?
JF: I've stopped weighing myself regularly so don't track it like I used to because I can always tell when I just don't feel as great as I know I should. That usually tells me more than the scale!
PS: What's a typical day of meals and snacks?
JF: I am always on the go running between classes, our three Bay Area studios, or my own workouts and meetings so I am adamant about starting my day with a good breakfast and carrying tons of healthy snack options. My go-to breakfast is an egg with avocado, berries, and coffee. All the coffee. I eat a lot of small meals or snacks throughout the day to keep me fueled: oatmeal with almond butter, RXbars, fruit, or nuts. I try to have a really big salad for lunch or some sort of protein and veggie combo to keep me going.
PS: Do you count calories? What's the range of calories you eat per day?
JF: I use MyFitnessPal to track; I find it keeps me accountable. Having spent years trying to lose weight, I am still very calorie-conscious, but now I try not to focus as much on calories as I do on eating clean, whole foods when I'm truly hungry. I'm so active I need the fuel, but tracking helps me choose better fuel sources. On average I range between 1,700 and 2,000 calories a day depending on my schedule and how many hours I will be sweating that day!
Jessica: After
PS: What are the healthy staples that are always in your fridge?
JF: Eggs, avocados, berries, and veggies to roast. I've been on a big brussels sprouts and asparagus kick lately! I also always have easy to grab snacks like RXbars and Justin's Almond Butter packets to throw in my purse.
PS: How do you strategize for meals out?
JF: I try to look ahead at the menu and check out what the healthier options are. But let's be real, if I'm going out to eat, it's probably for a special occasion and I am going to enjoy the chips and guacamole because what is life without chips and guacamole? Or ice cream and cookies, but that's another story.
"It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!"
PS: Do you use a fitness tracker? Which one, and how do you think it helped you?
JF: I used to use a FitBit regularly. I loved being able to track sleep, workouts, and steps, but I don't think it was prepared for the amount of hours I sweat each day as I've broken three of them.
PS: What role did Flywheel play in your journey?
JF: Being able to turn my passion into a career and take all of my own experiences - the ups, downs, good, bad, all of the lessons - into the stadium and share with this community has been so rewarding. Everyone I get to interact with every day, from the riders to instructors to our leaders, inspires me and keep me motivated to keep pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and never settling. They make me want to be better and stronger and never look back. I just hope that every time I get on that podium I can inspire someone in that room to do something they didn't think they could do because I was once that person who could barely run a block and was too afraid to even try a cycling class.
Jessica: After
PS: What advice do you have for anyone starting out on a weight-loss journey?
JF: Know that it's a long journey and it's never ending - it's not about setting one goal and then being done. It's a forever goal. It's a lifestyle. Not every day will be the healthiest or best day, but know that's not the end. And find the fun factor in your fitness routine! Whatever it is - friends, a class, your playlists - that makes you look forward to your sweat sesh.
3 Holistic Spa DIY Recipes Featuring Authentic Thai Ingredients
One of the best parts of spending my honeymoon in Thailand was experiencing the spas! Southeast Asia is known for having an amazing spa culture - where you can walk into any place on the street and supposedly get an amazing hour-long massage for just $20. But since it was my honeymoon, I am beauty obsessed, and I knew my dollar would go far, I opted to get my treatments at some of the more upscale spots. (YOLO!)
The most impressive spa I visited during my week in Thailand was the Secret Garden Spa at the Four Seasons Koh Samui. The name totally makes sense: from the front, the spa looks like a one-room shop. But go out the back, and there is a massive jungle terrain with huts. In each hut, treatments are offered. It feels like you're getting massaged in your own little villa.
What also made this experience so cool is that the Secret Garden Spa either grows on site or locally sources Thai ingredients and incorporates them into treatments. These were many of the same ingredients I was eating in authentic Thai food - coconut milk, lemongrass, kaffir lime, ginger, and turmeric. For example, I booked the Kala Coconut Massage, which involves a masseuse using warm coconut oil and a smooth coconut shell on my muscles. My husband got a massage that incorporated Thai spices being sprinkled on his back.
Since Koh Samui isn't the easiest place to get to, the Secret Garden Spa director Stephanie Arveux is sharing ways to make your own Thai spa at home. Here, she sheds light on why three Thai ingredients - coconut, kaffir lime, and ginger - have beauty benefits. She also cooked up three easy DIY recipes you can try.
Mom's Stunning Photography Sheds Light on Miscarriage and Infant Loss
Natalie McCain has been photographing and celebrating real moms' bodies since 2015, when she started The Honest Body Project, which serves to combat body-image issues. Since then, she's photographed postpartum bodies in a number of different ways: with breastfeeding mothers, pregnant mothers, and tragically, mothers who have experienced loss.
Natalie's upcoming book full of beautiful black and white photos and emotionally charged stories from real mamas, The Honest Body Project: Raw, Untouched Portraits of What It Means to Be a Woman ($25, available Aug. 15, 2017), dedicates an entire chapter to those moms who have lost a child, whether due to miscarriage or infant loss.
Natalie's hope for this chapter, as written in its intro, is to shed light on the fact that one in four women experience miscarriage or infant loss, but many almost never speak about it. Ahead, read some of the heart-wrenching stories from four moms who have tragically lost a child and are speaking out to help break the silence and support other moms who have gone through similar situations.
Mom's Stunning Photography Sheds Light on Miscarriage and Infant Loss
Natalie McCain has been photographing and celebrating real moms' bodies since 2015, when she started The Honest Body Project, which serves to combat body-image issues. Since then, she's photographed postpartum bodies in a number of different ways: with breastfeeding mothers, pregnant mothers, and tragically, mothers who have experienced loss.
Natalie's upcoming book full of beautiful black and white photos and emotionally charged stories from real mamas, The Honest Body Project: Raw, Untouched Portraits of What It Means to Be a Woman ($25, available Aug. 15, 2017), dedicates an entire chapter to those moms who have lost a child, whether due to miscarriage or infant loss.
Natalie's hope for this chapter, as written in its intro, is to shed light on the fact that one in four women experience miscarriage or infant loss, but many almost never speak about it. Ahead, read some of the heart-wrenching stories from four moms who have tragically lost a child and are speaking out to help break the silence and support other moms who have gone through similar situations.
WTF, You Won't Believe the Gluten-Free "Meal" This Guy Was Served on a Plane
When Martin Pavelka requested a gluten-free breakfast on his nine-hour flight from Tokyo to Sydney, he was served the saddest excuse for a meal we've ever seen: a single, lousy banana. The Londoner, who suffers from the digestive condition celiac disease, was given a fitting meal the night before, but when morning came, his breakfast didn't nearly stack up to what his fellow passengers were eating.
While the other travelers dug into eggs, sausage, mushrooms, bread, and yogurt, the All Nippon Airways flight attendants simply handed Martin a banana plastered with a "GF" (for gluten-free) sticker. What's more is that his "meal" came with a set of plastic cutlery, according to The Telegraph. Because everyone eats their bananas with a fork and knife these days, right?
As you can expect, Martin was pretty darn upset about his subpar breakfast. "This was a nine-hour flight. Although definitely gluten-free, the banana did not keep me full for very long," he told the Evening Standard. "In my opinion, I don't think they really get the concept of allergies and alternative meals," he added.
After the passenger filed a complaint about the incident, an airline spokesman responded with a promise to review the company's policy on addressing passengers' needs. "ANA takes great pride in providing an exemplary customer experience for all passengers, and for this one passenger we did not meet his expectations. We have apologised to him personally and as a result of his experience we are reviewing our policy on gluten-free options and how they are served," he said, according to the Evening Standard.
Why the New Healthcare Bill Is a Slap in the Face to Sexual Assault Survivors
The House voted on May 4 to repeal Obamacare with the American Health Care Act (AHCA). The bill would leave 24 million people without insurance, and among some of its most infuriating and antiwoman provisions, it would allow insurance carriers to consider sexual assault a "pre-existing condition."
The bill contains the MacArthur-Meadows amendment, which would allow insurance companies to review your medical history and decide whether or not you qualify for coverage. It would eliminate the current protection for pre-existing conditions under the Affordable Care Act (ACA). While that's upsetting on its own, the new bill also includes language that would make sexual assault, postpartum depression, and even C-sections "pre-existing conditions." The amendment is a blatant attack on women's right and is laughable considering the White House made April "Sexual Assault Awareness Month." That same administration is now turning its back against the same women it once claimed to support.
If the AHCA does become law, it could force people who are sexually assaulted to make a choice no one should have to make: whether to report the crime and risk their insurance coverage or stay silent to protect it.
Under the AHCA, you'll have to decide if reporting a sexual assault is worth losing your health insurance. KEEP CALLING. #VoteNoAHCA
- Ross Johnson (@Rosserford) May 4, 2017
Ultraviolet, an organization dedicated to fighting sexism, released a statement on the vote, calling it a "declaration of war on women." The group continued with, "Today's vote by Republicans sends a cynical message to survivors of rape and gender-based violence: 'You're on your own.'" It also called the vote "the beginnings of a serious national healthcare crisis - one which will cut off millions of Americans from health insurance coverage."
Two hundred and seventeen Republicans voted yes for the AHCA, while 20 voted no and one abstained. Every single Democrat voted no. The bill will now head to the Senate, where it is expected to be met with resistance. However, that doesn't mean citizens can rest easy. Call your senators to let them know what you think of the AHCA.
Former Obama White House Press Secretary Doesn't Have an Inkling of Sympathy For Sean Spicer
No job at the White House is expected to be easy - and the press secretary role is no different. Josh Earnest, former press secretary to President Barack Obama, knows this all too well. That's why he's not giving present Press Secretary Sean Spicer any passes. During an interview with CNN's Brian Stelter on April 24, Earnest said that he doesn't "feel a ton of sympathy" for Spicer, because he was well aware of Donald Trump's leadership style from his experience on the campaign.
Spicer has repeatedly come under fire for his wildly inaccurate attempts to spin stories and for hawking downright lies. But, as Earnest points out, it's simply the nature of working for someone as mercurial as President Trump. Attempting to differentiate between his job and Spicer's, Earnest explained that the president sets the tone for how a secretary interacts with the press.
"Sean's job is different because he works for somebody who is famously thin-skinned and somebody who has demonstrated over and over again that he doesn't care that much about telling the truth," Earnest said to Selter. "And who, at least in some of his record, doesn't appear to have much of an appreciation for how important independent journalism is in the success to our democracy. That's what makes our approaches so different."
Later in the interview, Earnest explained why he does not sympathize with Spicer as he encounters an onslaught of criticism. "Sean's not the victim of a bait and switch. It's not like he met President Trump on his first day," Earnest said. "It's not as if Sean met President Trump on Sean's first day of the White House. Sean worked for the Trump campaign and the RNC and the transition. He knew what he was getting into."
Earnest did, however, concede that he does view anonymous leaked criticism of Spicer as unbeneficial for the entire administration's effort to push their policies. "The job of being the White House press secretary is hard enough without having people that are supposed to be on your team criticizing you and undermining you in public," Earnest added.
Despite Spicer's ever-growing list of gaffes and failures, Trump has refused to fire him. According to The Washington Post, Trump is not inclined to replace Spicer because he gets "great ratings" and everyone "tunes in."
This wouldn't be the first time Trump has prioritized TV viewership over ethics.
Who Will Take the Throne After Queen Elizabeth II?
Queen Elizabeth II is the United Kingdom's longest-reigning British monarch, but we can't help but wonder who will take on the crown after her. If she were to abdicate (give up the royal throne), retire, or pass away, her eldest son Prince Charles would become king - making him the oldest heir to accede to the British throne. Of course, he also has the option to immediately pass the crown on to his oldest son, Prince William, who is second in line to the throne, followed by William's two children, Prince George and Princess Charlotte.
Even though Elizabeth II recently celebrated her 90th birthday, it appears she isn't ready to give up her royal title quite yet. Sarah Bradford, the author of Queen Elizabeth II: Her Life in Our Times, revealed that she's never even contemplated abdication, adding, "The queen simply feels she must do her duty."
WTF, You Won't Believe the Gluten-Free "Meal" This Guy Was Served on a Plane
When Martin Pavelka requested a gluten-free breakfast on his nine-hour flight from Tokyo to Sydney, he was served the saddest excuse for a meal we've ever seen: a single, lousy banana. The Londoner, who suffers from the digestive condition celiac disease, was given a fitting meal the night before, but when morning came, his breakfast didn't nearly stack up to what his fellow passengers were eating.
While the other travelers dug into eggs, sausage, mushrooms, bread, and yogurt, the All Nippon Airways flight attendants simply handed Martin a banana plastered with a "GF" (for gluten-free) sticker. What's more is that his "meal" came with a set of plastic cutlery, according to The Telegraph. Because everyone eats their bananas with a fork and knife these days, right?
As you can expect, Martin was pretty darn upset about his subpar breakfast. "This was a nine-hour flight. Although definitely gluten-free, the banana did not keep me full for very long," he told the Evening Standard. "In my opinion, I don't think they really get the concept of allergies and alternative meals," he added.
After the passenger filed a complaint about the incident, an airline spokesman responded with a promise to review the company's policy on addressing passengers' needs. "ANA takes great pride in providing an exemplary customer experience for all passengers, and for this one passenger we did not meet his expectations. We have apologised to him personally and as a result of his experience we are reviewing our policy on gluten-free options and how they are served," he said, according to the Evening Standard.
Why the New Healthcare Bill Is a Slap in the Face to Sexual Assault Survivors
The House voted on May 4 to repeal Obamacare with the American Health Care Act (AHCA). The bill would leave 24 million people without insurance, and among some of its most infuriating and antiwoman provisions, it would allow insurance carriers to consider sexual assault a "pre-existing condition."
The bill contains the MacArthur-Meadows amendment, which would allow insurance companies to review your medical history and decide whether or not you qualify for coverage. It would eliminate the current protection for pre-existing conditions under the Affordable Care Act (ACA). While that's upsetting on its own, the new bill also includes language that would make sexual assault, postpartum depression, and even C-sections "pre-existing conditions." The amendment is a blatant attack on women's right and is laughable considering the White House made April "Sexual Assault Awareness Month." That same administration is now turning its back against the same women it once claimed to support.
If the AHCA does become law, it could force people who are sexually assaulted to make a choice no one should have to make: whether to report the crime and risk their insurance coverage or stay silent to protect it.
Under the AHCA, you'll have to decide if reporting a sexual assault is worth losing your health insurance. KEEP CALLING. #VoteNoAHCA
- Ross Johnson (@Rosserford) May 4, 2017
Ultraviolet, an organization dedicated to fighting sexism, released a statement on the vote, calling it a "declaration of war on women." The group continued with, "Today's vote by Republicans sends a cynical message to survivors of rape and gender-based violence: 'You're on your own.'" It also called the vote "the beginnings of a serious national healthcare crisis - one which will cut off millions of Americans from health insurance coverage."
Two hundred and seventeen Republicans voted yes for the AHCA, while 20 voted no and one abstained. Every single Democrat voted no. The bill will now head to the Senate, where it is expected to be met with resistance. However, that doesn't mean citizens can rest easy. Call your senators to let them know what you think of the AHCA.
Former Obama White House Press Secretary Doesn't Have an Inkling of Sympathy For Sean Spicer
No job at the White House is expected to be easy - and the press secretary role is no different. Josh Earnest, former press secretary to President Barack Obama, knows this all too well. That's why he's not giving present Press Secretary Sean Spicer any passes. During an interview with CNN's Brian Stelter on April 24, Earnest said that he doesn't "feel a ton of sympathy" for Spicer, because he was well aware of Donald Trump's leadership style from his experience on the campaign.
Spicer has repeatedly come under fire for his wildly inaccurate attempts to spin stories and for hawking downright lies. But, as Earnest points out, it's simply the nature of working for someone as mercurial as President Trump. Attempting to differentiate between his job and Spicer's, Earnest explained that the president sets the tone for how a secretary interacts with the press.
"Sean's job is different because he works for somebody who is famously thin-skinned and somebody who has demonstrated over and over again that he doesn't care that much about telling the truth," Earnest said to Selter. "And who, at least in some of his record, doesn't appear to have much of an appreciation for how important independent journalism is in the success to our democracy. That's what makes our approaches so different."
Later in the interview, Earnest explained why he does not sympathize with Spicer as he encounters an onslaught of criticism. "Sean's not the victim of a bait and switch. It's not like he met President Trump on his first day," Earnest said. "It's not as if Sean met President Trump on Sean's first day of the White House. Sean worked for the Trump campaign and the RNC and the transition. He knew what he was getting into."
Earnest did, however, concede that he does view anonymous leaked criticism of Spicer as unbeneficial for the entire administration's effort to push their policies. "The job of being the White House press secretary is hard enough without having people that are supposed to be on your team criticizing you and undermining you in public," Earnest added.
Despite Spicer's ever-growing list of gaffes and failures, Trump has refused to fire him. According to The Washington Post, Trump is not inclined to replace Spicer because he gets "great ratings" and everyone "tunes in."
This wouldn't be the first time Trump has prioritized TV viewership over ethics.
8 Body Language Tips That Will Make You More Likeable
Body language is extremely important when it comes to making good first impressions. It's always helpful to know what body cues show you in a positive light, especially during interviews or networking when you're meeting someone for the first time. It can make a difference and even make you more likeable. Keep these tips in mind when you're interacting with another person:
- Smile slowly. If you're too quick to come to a smile or drop one, your expression may not look genuine. Real smiles happen gradually, but remember not to do it too slowly because it can also look creepy. Do your best to mimic a natural smile by practicing in the mirror.
- Speak in a deeper voice. When you're nervous or excited, your voice may come out in a higher pitch. Take a deep breath and lower your pitch, because a deeper voice is considered to have more authority and confidence. In fact, even dogs respond better to deeper voices when you are trying to give them a command.
- Make eye contact. When talking to someone, making eye contact shows interest and also confidence. Don't go overboard and gaze without breaking eye contact, because that can make people feel uncomfortable. Spend the majority of the time making eye contact, but remember to briefly take breaks.
- Have good posture. Sit or stand up straight and avoid slouching. Slouching can make you look less professional and can possibly make you look less confident and enthusiastic.
- Lean. Move your body slightly forward toward the person you're talking to. This reflects interest. However, if you want to show that you're relaxed, lean back a little bit. Don't overdo the leaning or it may either look like you have no idea of what personal space is if you lean forward too much or make you look uninterested and uppity if you lean too far back.
- Don't fidget. Don't fiddle with your hands or shake your leg because that can portray nervousness or restlessness. Relax and slow down your movements.
- Stay uncrossed. Keep your hands and legs uncrossed because that can make you seem cold and distant. If you're not crossing your arms, you'll look more open and less guarded.
- Mirror movements. People often unconsciously mirror people whom they get along with. You can do things like smile or frown along with the speaker or gesture more if you see the other person talking with her hands.
It's always good to remember that if you're not relaxed, these attempts at better body language may be for naught. When you're nervous, other people will be able to spot that, and it may make them feel a bit jittery in turn. Do some stretches beforehand (and out of sight!) if you're looking to make a good impression on someone, and take deep breaths.
Kurt and Goldie Are Hollywood Royalty, and Now They Have the Stars to Prove It
Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn brought their star power to the Hollywood Walk of Fame in LA on Thursday. The longtime couple were honored for their extensive careers by Reese Witherspoon, Quentin Tarantino, and their daughter, Kate Hudson, as they received stars on the legendary memorial walk and shared a sweet kiss before taking turns to speak at the podium. This week, Goldie's Snatched costar Amy Schumer shared a heart-melting video of her father being brought to tears while meeting Goldie, who is the "love of his life." The movie comes out on Mother's Day, and Kurt's new film, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, is released on Friday.
Why I Wanted a Small Wedding - and Why You Might Too
Seven years and two kids ago, my (now) husband knelt on a moonlit boat dock in Camden, ME, and asked if I would love him forever. For me, it was a no-brainer. I wept and said yes. There was no one there but us and the moon and the swaying boats in the harbor. There was no ring. There was just his earnest ask. I treasured that intimacy, and I wanted to carry it through to our wedding vows.
I was not someone who had been planning her wedding since childhood. I had no vision for what I wanted or what my dress would be - I actually admire women who are this decisive. The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted my wedding to be small. To me, this was my most personal moment - the moment where I pledged to love another person through all of life's triumphs and tragedies, and that felt sacred to me. The thought of saying my vows, personal and handwritten, in front of people who I might not even know seemed counter to how I wanted the moment to feel and be remembered.
A few weeks after our engagement, I told my then-fiancé that I'd like to have around 20 people at our wedding. The two of us, his three best friends and their plus-ones, my three best friends and their plus-ones, and our parents and their significant others (his parents are divorced). He was stunned. My husband is loving and charismatic and has a wide social circle. "But," he argued, "we need more people on the dance floor!" Point taken.
I grew up attending large, gregarious weddings my whole life. I'm from a big extended family, and I loved those gatherings, but I wanted something different for myself. My family alone would have been nearly 100 people. My parents had a difficult time understanding that I wanted to get married far away and have only a handful of people attend. As it often happens while planning a wedding, tensions mounted and feelings were hurt. How would I balance the desires of my family with what I really wanted for my wedding? Meanwhile, my husband's list took on a life of its own. "Weddings are also about having fun," he reasoned.
Eventually, we got the number to 40 people. My husband, bless his heart, even added a couple of people two days before the wedding. I'm glad that I compromised with him and had more people attend because ultimately part of marriage is about consistently compromising with your partner to ensure you are each happy.
My husband and I were concerned that we would be blubbering messes while delivering the vows that we wrote for each other. So, instead, we were married with traditional vows during the ceremony. Then, that night in the honeymoon suite, damp with sweat from dancing (you see a theme here, right?) and high on the adrenaline of the day, we sweetly read our handwritten vows to each other. Not a soul on this earth has heard those vows but us, and each year on our wedding anniversary, we take them out and read them to each other again.
In the end, our wedding still felt incredibly intimate because all of the people who attended are still in our lives, and they have supported us through some truly difficult times. I'm extremely grateful that they could be there to bear witness to our marriage. And to shake their asses on the dance floor.
Kurt and Goldie Are Hollywood Royalty, and Now They Have the Stars to Prove It
Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn brought their star power to the Hollywood Walk of Fame in LA on Thursday. The longtime couple were honored for their extensive careers by Reese Witherspoon, Quentin Tarantino, and their daughter, Kate Hudson, as they received stars on the legendary memorial walk and shared a sweet kiss before taking turns to speak at the podium. This week, Goldie's Snatched costar Amy Schumer shared a heart-melting video of her father being brought to tears while meeting Goldie, who is the "love of his life." The movie comes out on Mother's Day, and Kurt's new film, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, is released on Friday.
10 Embroidery Hoops That Make Dope Gifts For Stoners
With the rise in popularity of needlepoint, we of course had to find fun embroidery hoops for stoners. They make cute gifts for all your weed-smoking friends and add some flair to the home. See some of our favorites ahead!
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