Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
dimanche 7 mai 2017
You Can Fly Through the Air on This Swing at the End of the World - If You Dare
Swings may be for kids, but flying high on the one at La Casa del Arbol in Ecuador is certainly not child's play. You may have seen the epic (and slightly unnerving) images of travelers hovering over what looks like the end of the earth, but they are really taking a ride on the swing that hangs over a mountaintop near Baños de Agua Santa, Ecuador.
The tree house - or Casa del Arbol - was originally used by Carlos Sanchez, a volunteer with the Military Geographical Institute, who was working with a group of a volcanologists by observing and recording the activities of the Tungurahua volcano in the area. He built the swing on the tree house for his family to use when they visited him, but once a photo of it popped up online, tourists flocked to the mountaintop to try out the swing - sometimes called the Swing at the End of the World - for themselves.
On a clear day, travelers can get a view of the active Tungarahua volcano, which means "throat of fire" in the native Quechua language of the Andes, according to Amusing Planet. The swing is 2,600 meters above sea level and hangs over a vertical slope of about 100 feet. Another swing on the other side of the house has been added due to high demand for the attraction. If you're ever in Ecuador, this experience (and undeniably amazing photo) can't be missed.
Girls Who Code Founder Tells Ivanka Trump "Don't Use My Story"
Reshma Saujani is the founder and CEO of Girls Who Code, an empowering nonprofit organization dedicated to teaching woman how to code, and she's making it clear that she does not want Ivanka Trump using her story. Trump is currently promoting her new book, Women Who Work: Rewriting the Rules for Success, which is essentially a self-care book directed at helping women lead their most fulfilling lives, professionally and socially.
In her book, Trump has a section dedicated to Saujani, explaining how she switched from a career in politics to provide more opportunities for women. "It was during a run for Congress that Saujani became inspired to create the organization," Trump wrote. "In visiting local schools, she personally witnessed the gender gap in computing classes and set out to do something about it."
But Saujani does not want to be a part of Trump's narrative, and she's not holding back. On the day the book was released, Saujani wrote to Trump on Twitter, "@ivankatrump don't use my story in #WomenWhoWork unless you are going to stop being #complicit #askivanka," seen below.
.@ivankatrump don't use my story in #WomenWhoWork unless you are going to stop being #complicit #askivanka
- Reshma Saujani (@reshmasaujani) May 2, 2017
Since Donald Trump became president, the first daughter has been largely criticized for being "complicit" on her father's policies and remaining silent, and Saujani is definitely not the first person to bring this up. In an interview with Gayle King of CBS This Morning last month, Trump confronted the notion of being silent on social media regarding political issues, explaining that just because she does not publicly speak out does not mean she doesn't have an opinion.
"I would say not to conflate lack of public denouncement with silence," Trump said. "In some case it's through protest and it's through going on the nightly news and talking about or denouncing every issue in which you disagree with. Other times it is quietly, and directly, and candidly."
Read on to see some of the responses Saujani has received on social media after speaking out against Trump's new book.
@reshmasaujani @IvankaTrump Thank you for standing up for all women she has been silent on her father draconian policies.
- Alexis 🇺🇸 (@linksteroh) May 3, 2017
Don't belittle girls who code #IvankaTrump. We actually do code for a living and we have a job description like real working women. https://t.co/6uMTYxS3ZX
- Resist (@ImagineBeingOne) May 3, 2017
@reshmasaujani @IvankaTrump http://pic.twitter.com/2c2cduYS7s
- LindyMomma (@lindymomma) May 3, 2017
Oof. That has got to hurt. You tell it,@reshmasaujani .You tell it! #WomenWhoWork https://t.co/c8Oan5WNtS
- MB Caschetta (@Caschetta) May 3, 2017
@reshmasaujani @IvankaTrump Also ended let girl learn program yesterday. 😡she only speaks for Trump not woman or children.
- Denise Wu (@denisewu) May 2, 2017
Turn Your Office Into a Millennial Pink Haven With These 15 Desk Accessories
Oh, millennial pink, how I love you so. Why is the blush shade so mesmerizing? Apparently there are a lot of reasons our generation is so obsessed, but for right now I'm gonna go with the fact that it's simply a pretty hue. Make your desk a cheerful place by getting some cute office accessories in millennial pink. You'll be glad you did.
Michelle Obama's Dress Will Tell You Exactly Where She's Going
When Michelle Obama's on business, she chooses designs that are tailored. You'll find her accessorizing with a structured leather bag and perhaps a strand of pearls. But when she's headed on vacation, Michelle lets loose. Forget the tidy hairstyle - she's rocking a wide headband and oversize shades. And when it comes to her dresses, they've all got a bit more movement, a bit more color, and a casual touch.
Whether they're made of linen or lace, or extend to the ground like some of her boho-style maxis, Michelle's vacation looks are bold enough to put a smile on your face. What might make you even more ecstatic, however, is shopping similar silhouettes ahead of your next getaway. Though you might not be jetting off to Honolulu on Air Force One with the Obamas, choosing a breezy outfit that's been FLOTUS-approved will always be on point. Scroll to get started.
9 Shoes Fashion Bloggers Are Living In This Spring
The best part about the season changing is getting to go shopping - no one can blame you for hitting the stores; you need pieces that fit the weather after all. But our favorite part isn't getting to buy new dresses and shirts - though, of course, we love that too - but trying on cute shoes we'll be living in the entire season.
So, to simplify the process and avoid being buried in a pile of shoe boxes at a department store, we're taking a look at the best dressed Latina fashion bloggers for inspiration on what we need on our feet this Spring. These are the shoes they'll be wearing over and over again, and so will you.
9 Shoes Fashion Bloggers Are Living In This Spring
The best part about the season changing is getting to go shopping - no one can blame you for hitting the stores; you need pieces that fit the weather after all. But our favorite part isn't getting to buy new dresses and shirts - though, of course, we love that too - but trying on cute shoes we'll be living in the entire season.
So, to simplify the process and avoid being buried in a pile of shoe boxes at a department store, we're taking a look at the best dressed Latina fashion bloggers for inspiration on what we need on our feet this Spring. These are the shoes they'll be wearing over and over again, and so will you.
Things I Learned at Chrissy Teigen's Palette Launch - And No, She Didn't Get "Extensive Plastic Surgery"
Here's the deal: I got to meet my Twitter Queen Chrissy Teigen and help her celebrate the launch of the Becca Cosmetics BeccaxChrissy Glow Face Palette ($46) by getting an early preview and learning about how it all come to fruition. I also learned a few things she absolutely hates when it comes to makeup, because if there's one thing you can bet on from Chrissy, it's that she'll speak her mind.
Chrissy collaborated with makeup artist Mary Phillips (who also works with Jennifer Lopez!) on every part of the palette. She was clear on a few things, namely, she didn't want the whole thing to be too sparkly or overly shimmery. She wanted it to be easy for everyone to use at home and worried that with too much shimmer, people might go crazy and end up looking like a disco ball. The palette, which includes a bronzer, a blush and two highlighters (one rose gold and one apricot), worried her a bit because she felt the blush was too bright. Because the palette leans more bronze, she and Mary worked to sheer out the pigment of the coral blush so it was complementary to the other pieces of the palette.
The palette focuses on warmer tones instead of cool tones, which makes sense: Chrissy has a warm complexion. Mary explained that it isn't too gold, though, and it's definitely not cool or silver, meaning if you're fair complected or have a deeper tone, it will still work for you. You can sheer out everything if you're fair and layer it if you're deep complected.
As for her dislikes, Chrissy was quick to lay down the law on a few trending makeup and beauty looks.
Liner on her lower waterline
The model and author explained that she let's Mary do whatever she wants when it comes to makeup, but the one stipulation is she cannot add anything insider her lower waterline.
Lip masks
"Waste of f*cking money," she said. "Don't get them."
Washing her face before bed
The model told us that she has "never washed her face before bed." She'll "rip off her eyelashes" but doesn't remove her makeup. And yet her skin is still perfect, which could be attributed to her esthetician, Shani Darden. We can only dream of this type of luck.
Insane Instagram highlighing
"I don't want to be a hater, but I am," she said. "I see all the Instagram posts, and I did not want to look like those girls that just look silver. Do you don't have to be a slay queen just because you look like a silver zorbot. That look is done. I'm tired of silver cheekbones and nose. And I'm f*cking over strobing!" Chrissy later added she has no idea what a zorbot is, but you get her drift.
Armpit fat
She probably doesn't hate it, persay, but when asked about the craziest beauty treatment she received, she admitted that she "sucked her armpits" about nine years ago to get rid of fat pockets.
Also, it's been reported that Chrissy underwent "major plastic surgery," and it's simply not true. The statement was largely taken out of context.
This is what happened: Chrissy brought up that everyone thinks her cheeks are fake. She clarified that they are not, but joked that "everything else is." She did point to her forehead and her mouth area, which I interpreted as meaning she Botox in her forehead and her veneers. This is something she's been very open about in the past. There was no discussion of extensive plastic face or body surgery. In fact, the only plastic surgery brought up was the aforementioned armpit liposuction and her mother's nose job.
Now that's cleared up, I have to saw that I haven't been happier with a palette in a very long time. I want to look dewy and glowy when I apply highlighter, and even with some Becca products, I feel like the highlight isn't as sheer or natural as I'd like it to be. This is a palette you can wear to work, running errands, brunch, a big event, breast feeding your child - doesn't matter what it is, you can wear it and feel natural while doing so.
15 Life-Changing Cooking Secrets You Can Learn From Italians
The thing about Italian cooking is that it's a lot simpler than Americans tend to believe. If you go to Italy, you'll quickly learn that the country values high-quality ingredients and freshly cooked meals above just about anything else when it comes to food. It's not about overly complex cooking techniques, but about starting with the best ingredients and figuring out how to pair them together, from homemade pasta to sauces and desserts. And once you learn some of the basic practices, you'll soon discover you can implement them in your own kitchen and start making your best Italian meals ever.
If you want to learn how to cook more authentically Italian, look no further than the following helpful cooking tips that I learned firsthand on a trip to Verona with Giovanni Rana, one of Italy's oldest brands of fresh pasta. I ate a whole lot of pasta to be sure, but I also learned just as much about it.
Things I Learned at Chrissy Teigen's Palette Launch - And No, She Didn't Get "Extensive Plastic Surgery"
Here's the deal: I got to meet my Twitter Queen Chrissy Teigen and help her celebrate the launch of the Becca Cosmetics BeccaxChrissy Glow Face Palette ($46) by getting an early preview and learning about how it all come to fruition. I also learned a few things she absolutely hates when it comes to makeup, because if there's one thing you can bet on from Chrissy, it's that she'll speak her mind.
Chrissy collaborated with makeup artist Mary Phillips (who also works with Jennifer Lopez!) on every part of the palette. She was clear on a few things, namely, she didn't want the whole thing to be too sparkly or overly shimmery. She wanted it to be easy for everyone to use at home and worried that with too much shimmer, people might go crazy and end up looking like a disco ball. The palette, which includes a bronzer, a blush and two highlighters (one rose gold and one apricot), worried her a bit because she felt the blush was too bright. Because the palette leans more bronze, she and Mary worked to sheer out the pigment of the coral blush so it was complementary to the other pieces of the palette.
The palette focuses on warmer tones instead of cool tones, which makes sense: Chrissy has a warm complexion. Mary explained that it isn't too gold, though, and it's definitely not cool or silver, meaning if you're fair complected or have a deeper tone, it will still work for you. You can sheer out everything if you're fair and layer it if you're deep complected.
As for her dislikes, Chrissy was quick to lay down the law on a few trending makeup and beauty looks.
Liner on her lower waterline
The model and author explained that she let's Mary do whatever she wants when it comes to makeup, but the one stipulation is she cannot add anything insider her lower waterline.
Lip masks
"Waste of f*cking money," she said. "Don't get them."
Washing her face before bed
The model told us that she has "never washed her face before bed." She'll "rip off her eyelashes" but doesn't remove her makeup. And yet her skin is still perfect, which could be attributed to her esthetician, Shani Darden. We can only dream of this type of luck.
Insane Instagram highlighing
"I don't want to be a hater, but I am," she said. "I see all the Instagram posts, and I did not want to look like those girls that just look silver. Do you don't have to be a slay queen just because you look like a silver zorbot. That look is done. I'm tired of silver cheekbones and nose. And I'm f*cking over strobing!" Chrissy later added she has no idea what a zorbot is, but you get her drift.
Armpit fat
She probably doesn't hate it, persay, but when asked about the craziest beauty treatment she received, she admitted that she "sucked her armpits" about nine years ago to get rid of fat pockets.
Also, it's been reported that Chrissy underwent "major plastic surgery," and it's simply not true. The statement was largely taken out of context.
This is what happened: Chrissy brought up that everyone thinks her cheeks are fake. She clarified that they are not, but joked that "everything else is." She did point to her forehead and her mouth area, which I interpreted as meaning she Botox in her forehead and her veneers. This is something she's been very open about in the past. There was no discussion of extensive plastic face or body surgery. In fact, the only plastic surgery brought up was the aforementioned armpit liposuction and her mother's nose job.
Now that's cleared up, I have to saw that I haven't been happier with a palette in a very long time. I want to look dewy and glowy when I apply highlighter, and even with some Becca products, I feel like the highlight isn't as sheer or natural as I'd like it to be. This is a palette you can wear to work, running errands, brunch, a big event, breast feeding your child - doesn't matter what it is, you can wear it and feel natural while doing so.
Wedding Music: The Ultimate Oldies Playlist
Music sets the tone for a wedding reception, so if you're hoping to get the party going with some classic songs, we've pulled the best oldies hits to play on your big day. With a mix of sweet slow songs for first dances, memorable Motown numbers, and rock 'n' roll dance hits, these picks from the '50s, '60s, and '70s are sure to get your guests on their feet. Take a look at the top hits for the ultimate oldies wedding playlist!
15 Life-Changing Cooking Secrets You Can Learn From Italians
The thing about Italian cooking is that it's a lot simpler than Americans tend to believe. If you go to Italy, you'll quickly learn that the country values high-quality ingredients and freshly cooked meals above just about anything else when it comes to food. It's not about overly complex cooking techniques, but about starting with the best ingredients and figuring out how to pair them together, from homemade pasta to sauces and desserts. And once you learn some of the basic practices, you'll soon discover you can implement them in your own kitchen and start making your best Italian meals ever.
If you want to learn how to cook more authentically Italian, look no further than the following helpful cooking tips that I learned firsthand on a trip to Verona with Giovanni Rana, one of Italy's oldest brands of fresh pasta. I ate a whole lot of pasta to be sure, but I also learned just as much about it.
12 Baby Groot Moments That Make You Want to Squish His Twiggy Little Face
There are so many reasons to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - cough, Chris Pratt's abs, cough - but the biggest one of all is the return of Baby Groot. We first met the lil' nugget in Guardians of the Galaxy, when Big Groot gets "killed" but just starts growing all over again as a root. We're not the only ones who are obsessed; parents have been dressing kids up as Baby Groot, and there's even a way to make your own version! Here are 12 moments that have made us love the plant, and make sure you've caught his appearances in the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 trailers.
Wedding Music: The Ultimate Oldies Playlist
Music sets the tone for a wedding reception, so if you're hoping to get the party going with some classic songs, we've pulled the best oldies hits to play on your big day. With a mix of sweet slow songs for first dances, memorable Motown numbers, and rock 'n' roll dance hits, these picks from the '50s, '60s, and '70s are sure to get your guests on their feet. Take a look at the top hits for the ultimate oldies wedding playlist!
7 Sure Signs You Are Obsessed With Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars is a magical creature that we all should just go ahead and admit we are obsessed with. It's everything from his looks, to his hair, and the way he can shut everything down on the dance floor. I know I'm swooning so you must be, too. Bruno is a man of mystery, which makes everyone what to want him even more.
Whether you know every lyric to all of his songs or you love Prince as much as he does, these are the signs that you are truly obsessed with Bruno just the way he is.
Meet the Cast (and Characters!) of Murder on the Orient Express
The latest onscreen adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express hits theaters this Fall, and it's already got a lot going for it. Not only will the film bring the iconic Agatha Christie tale to life in a new and imaginative way, but there's also a pretty star-studded cast to boot. Curious who will play who? We're going over all the stars and their respective roles, plus giving you an idea of what they're like in the book. There may be some big changes to come in the latest iteration, but for the time being, this is all the information we've got. Keep reading for the full list of stars and the suspects they'll play.
11 New Books Worth Reading in May
You know what I love about the Spring and Summer seasons? It's suddenly socially appropriate to break out the chick lit (a term I use endearingly). Fall and Winter are for heavy books; when I head to the admittedly shady part of the beach, I like to bring a fun, easy novel with me. Maybe I got it at the airport. Who knows? This May, plenty of new books are being released, and amongst the recipe compilations and self-help guides, there are a handful of truly interesting reads. Here are my picks for the month ahead!
25 Mother's Day Gifts She'll Actually Use
Let's be real, Mother's Day gifts often end up sitting in the trash (eventually) or collecting dust in the closet. It's not like Mom doesn't love you or like your gift; she just doesn't quite know what the hell to do with it. So that's why this year, you should skip the cookie jar for something a little more practical. Think about what she uses every day, what she can't live without, and what she's obsessed with. You do know her best; be realistic about what she'll love and what she'll use. Here's 25 gift ideas to help you get started.
Everyone's Going Crazy For These Trendy Pink Sneakers
Fashion's infatuation with pink seems to be long lasting, at least for 2017. The color trend coupled with the industry's undying love for sneakers means a roundup of sugary-sweet kicks that have all the fixings. From the pearl-embellished uppers on Stuart Weitzman's Décor slip-ons to the Seussical stripes on Fendi's sock boot, it's safe to say these pink sneakers aren't really girlie; they're avant-garde.
In fact, just scrolling through the mixed-media styles below is like a trip back to art class. It's also a nice reminder that you don't always need to create an intricate outfit to stand out on the street. Just pull on your jeans and a pair of these playful shoes, and you're good to go.
A Few Rare Glimpses of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews's Romance
Pippa Middleton is marrying her longtime boyfriend, James Matthews, this May, and we've been finding ourselves wanting to know more and more about their romance. Even though their love story has been almost 10 years in the making, the pair has managed to keep their relationship pretty under the radar. Unlike her big sister, Kate - who has shared numerous sweet moments with Prince William - Pippa has only been spotted out and about with her husband-to-be on a handful of occasions. From their family getaways to their fun-filled ski adventures, see some of their rare appearances together over the past few years.
7 Sure Signs You Are Obsessed With Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars is a magical creature that we all should just go ahead and admit we are obsessed with. It's everything from his looks, to his hair, and the way he can shut everything down on the dance floor. I know I'm swooning so you must be, too. Bruno is a man of mystery, which makes everyone what to want him even more.
Whether you know every lyric to all of his songs or you love Prince as much as he does, these are the signs that you are truly obsessed with Bruno just the way he is.
The True Stories Behind 21 American Horror Story Characters
American Horror Story: Freak Show drew a lot of inspiration from history, several of Coven's most memorable characters are based on real figures, and American Horror Story: Hotel continued the tradition. While we're gearing up for season seven, check out the characters throughout each season who are based on real people, murderers, and stories. Beware: this is not for the faint of heart.
Remember When These Looks Walked the MTV Movie Awards Carpet?
The MTV Movie Awards are this weekend, and to get ourselves in the spirit, we're taking a look back at some of our favorite celebrity styles from past shows. Almost anything goes at this freewheeling film event - from thigh-grazing minis to floor-length gowns and everything in between, the stars most definitely come out to play. Check out fashionable favorites like Sienna Miller, Kristen Stewart, Rachel McAdams, and more when you click through now!
Everyone's Going Crazy For These Trendy Pink Sneakers
Fashion's infatuation with pink seems to be long lasting, at least for 2017. The color trend coupled with the industry's undying love for sneakers means a roundup of sugary-sweet kicks that have all the fixings. From the pearl-embellished uppers on Stuart Weitzman's Décor slip-ons to the Seussical stripes on Fendi's sock boot, it's safe to say these pink sneakers aren't really girlie; they're avant-garde.
In fact, just scrolling through the mixed-media styles below is like a trip back to art class. It's also a nice reminder that you don't always need to create an intricate outfit to stand out on the street. Just pull on your jeans and a pair of these playful shoes, and you're good to go.
Remember When These Looks Walked the MTV Movie Awards Carpet?
The MTV Movie Awards are this weekend, and to get ourselves in the spirit, we're taking a look back at some of our favorite celebrity styles from past shows. Almost anything goes at this freewheeling film event - from thigh-grazing minis to floor-length gowns and everything in between, the stars most definitely come out to play. Check out fashionable favorites like Sienna Miller, Kristen Stewart, Rachel McAdams, and more when you click through now!
Meet the Cast (and Characters!) of Murder on the Orient Express
The latest onscreen adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express hits theaters this Fall, and it's already got a lot going for it. Not only will the film bring the iconic Agatha Christie tale to life in a new and imaginative way, but there's also a pretty star-studded cast to boot. Curious who will play who? We're going over all the stars and their respective roles, plus giving you an idea of what they're like in the book. There may be some big changes to come in the latest iteration, but for the time being, this is all the information we've got. Keep reading for the full list of stars and the suspects they'll play.
The True Stories Behind 21 American Horror Story Characters
American Horror Story: Freak Show drew a lot of inspiration from history, several of Coven's most memorable characters are based on real figures, and American Horror Story: Hotel continued the tradition. While we're gearing up for season seven, check out the characters throughout each season who are based on real people, murderers, and stories. Beware: this is not for the faint of heart.
A Few Rare Glimpses of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews's Romance
Pippa Middleton is marrying her longtime boyfriend, James Matthews, this May, and we've been finding ourselves wanting to know more and more about their romance. Even though their love story has been almost 10 years in the making, the pair has managed to keep their relationship pretty under the radar. Unlike her big sister, Kate - who has shared numerous sweet moments with Prince William - Pippa has only been spotted out and about with her husband-to-be on a handful of occasions. From their family getaways to their fun-filled ski adventures, see some of their rare appearances together over the past few years.
Debra Messing Calls Out Ivanka Trump: "It's Time to Do Something"
Debra Messing isn't done resisting Donald Trump's contentious presidency. The Will and Grace actress delivered a moving - albeit hilarious - acceptance speech at the 28th annual GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday, May 6 and addressed the "very bad, and very orange man in our White House . . . at least a few days a month," she joked.
Messing, who took home GLAAD's Excellence in Media Award, called on all Americans to resist Trump's controversial policies and even urged them to text the Congressional switch board in Washington, DC. "Don't be shy, I know all of your cell phones are open because you've been taking selfies all night," she quipped.
Messing then spoke directly to Ivanka Trump, whom she referred to as "the Secretary of State," saying, "It is not enough to simply say that women's issues are important to you. It's time to do something." Watch her full 9-minute acceptance speech above to hear her empowering call for action that will inspire you.
Debra Messing Calls Out Ivanka Trump: "It's Time to Do Something"
Debra Messing isn't done resisting Donald Trump's contentious presidency. The Will and Grace actress delivered a moving - albeit hilarious - acceptance speech at the 28th annual GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday, May 6 and addressed the "very bad, and very orange man in our White House . . . at least a few days a month," she joked.
Messing, who took home GLAAD's Excellence in Media Award, called on all Americans to resist Trump's controversial policies and even urged them to text the Congressional switch board in Washington, DC. "Don't be shy, I know all of your cell phones are open because you've been taking selfies all night," she quipped.
Messing then spoke directly to Ivanka Trump, whom she referred to as "the Secretary of State," saying, "It is not enough to simply say that women's issues are important to you. It's time to do something." Watch her full 9-minute acceptance speech above to hear her empowering call for action that will inspire you.
Since Moving Out of My Boyfriend's House, Our Love Is Stronger Than Ever
With hard work, determination, and a whole lot of honesty, Jamie Thurber from YourTango strengthened her relationship for the better.
And here's why...
Almost three years ago I moved out of my boyfriend's house.
After living together for over a year and a half, he dropped a huge bomb on me. Something that could have ended many relationships.
He told me that even though he had said in the past that he wanted to have more children, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he did not, in fact, want any more kids. It was not an option for him.
You see he's 19 years older than me. He has two grown children and a granddaughter, so it's understandable that he wouldn't want more.
But still, I was blown away when he brought this to my attention, for several reasons.
First, I thought I wanted kids or at least the option to have them if I decided to.
Second, I was blown away by the pure honesty that he laid on the table with me that day.
In hindsight, it's a little weird to realize that I was more shocked by the honesty than I was by the no kids thing. But let's face it, people are rarely honest (even with the person they love) when it comes to their personal feelings. Especially if it's a topic they know the other person feels strongly or cares deeply about.
So I wasn't sure what to do with that.
After a couple of days of thinking - and a lot of crying, confusion, and fear - I decided to move out.
I remember looking at him and saying that I had made a decision that I was going to start looking for houses. He looked back at me and asked, "We're breaking up?"
I replied, "No. But I need my own space to make a decision uninfluenced by you."
He just looked at me. I knew at that moment that I had shocked him with my honesty as much as he had shocked me with his a few days earlier.
You see, I knew that if I stayed there, I would have laid in bed next to him every night, loving this amazing man, and my judgment would have been clouded.
I wouldn't have been able to clearly look at my life and decide if babies were a "must have" for me. I wouldn't have been clear about whether not having children was a deal breaker.
The last thing I wanted to do was to wake up in 10 years hating him because we never had kids, and his biggest fear was that I would. In my mind, by creating that distance between us, I would be able to make a decision in the present, instead of regretting it further down the road.
So now I sit here, almost three years later, and I'm still not 100% certain what the answer for me is.
I still don't know if having kids is something that I see in my future. I am, however, confident in the fact that me maintaining my own space was, and is, exactly what we both needed.
Our love wouldn't have survived if I had stayed. He'd been walking on eggshells feeling like I needed something from him that he wasn't willing to give, and all the while I was walking around planning our imaginary family photos out in my head.
Not. Healthy.
But, here's the thing ... So many people do this!
So many people wake up every morning and live an imaginary life with their partner. They are never clear or honest with either themselves or with the person they love about what they want and/or need - or what they DON'T want and/or CAN'T give. They make assumptions that cause them to act and feel some type of way, instead of simply asking their partner the important questions and being honest about their own feelings and expectations.
These people - which is most of us - just go with the flow, never truly sharing or connecting or getting what they want or need. And in many cases, this creates into resentments that can destroy even the most loving relationship.
Looking back now there are two main lessons I learned from this experience:
1. Your relationship doesn't have to look like everyone else's.
You get to create your own reality and you get to define love for yourself.
You can be the exception to the rule. You can move out of your boyfriend's house and not break up. You can move out of your boyfriend's house and not only strengthen your relationship, but your mutual respect and love for one another as well.
2. It's time to just tell your partner the damn truth already.
Walking around assuming things or acting a certain way because you think you "should" or you "think" you know what someone else is thinking or needing is a big giant waste of time.
ASK THEM. TELL THEM.
You can put it all out on the table without initiating World War III. In fact, putting it out there on the table could PREVENT that war from starting in the first place.
So you see, the power to sculpt your life into exactly that image you see in your mind is possible.
It's all in your hands.
It just takes a little hard work, determination, and a whole lot of honesty.
#BeTheChange, friends. You deserve it.
- Jamie Thurber
Check out more great stories from YourTango:
Jennifer Lopez Is So Happy With Alex Rodriguez, She Just Can't Help but Gush
Jennifer Lopez is glowing and gushing about her love of Alex Rodriguez. The 47-year-old singer and actress went on The Late Late Show With James Corden and spoke all about her new man.
James grilled her about her new boyfriend, and even though she didn't say much, she said enough for us to want to hear more. "He's the best. You would love him," she said. "He's a great guy. He's fun. He's awesome."
J Lo and A Rod have put their budding romance on display a lot recently. The couple made their red carpet debut at the Met Gala, and J lo also confessed she was actually the one who approached Alex at a restaurant.
See what else she had to say about their romance and what they did on their first date in the video above.
How to Get Rid of Ants in the Kitchen - No Chemicals Required
When it comes to pests and critters, the last thing any of us wants is to find unwanted guests taking up residence in the kitchen. While there are certainly more harmful pests, there's something particularly icky about ants - especially when they're in close proximity to where you store, prepare, and eat your food. They can get into your food containers and pantry, and one ant soon turns into a whole colony. If you find yourself waging war against these tiny but mighty creatures, try some of these creative yet simple (and effective!) ways to keep them away.
Draw a Chalk Line
If you have a door in your kitchen that leads directly to the outside of your home, this could be where the ants are coming from. To stop them dead (but not literally) in their tracks, draw a chalk line on the ground on the exterior side of the door. Ants dislike calcium carbonate, so it's an excellent repellent and they won't go over the line and into your kitchen.
Sprinkle Flour or Cinnamon
Similarly to chalk, ants are repelled by flour and cinnamon, and these are great options if you don't want to use any chemicals in and around your kitchen. While this can be a little on the messy side, sprinkling some flour or cinnamon in and around your pantry, or even along your windowsills, can help deter ants from eating the rest of your pantry goods.
Use Citrus
Repel ants and make your home smell like a tropical paradise! By harnessing the power of citrus fruits like lemons, you can keep ants at bay. Lemon juice is particularly useful around windows and doors, and a quick squeeze on the thresholds and window sills can prevent them from coming inside. You can also put a couple of lemon peels outside your kitchen door to prevent them from coming in.
Herbs as a Defense
Ants love sugar, and from the biggest container to the smallest spill, they can smell it from miles away. This means your pantry and kitchen cupboards can become a hotbed for a new ant colony, even if you leave the smallest trace of a sugary substance. Herbs like sage and bay leaves can help deter ants from getting into your sugary treats, and you can put the herbs directly in your sugar container or next to your honey to keep ants away.
Diatomaceous Earth
If you're looking for a natural insecticide that doesn't contain chemicals, look no further than diatomaceous earth (DE). DE kills insects like ants, bed bugs, and cockroaches by entering their outer skeletons and dehydrating their bodies - it's not pleasant, but it works! To avoid inhaling any yourself, just use a small amount and sprinkle it anywhere you suspect ants may be getting into your kitchen. It can be toxic, so follow the directions on the label.
Stamp Out Their Trail
When ants enter your home, they leave a scented trail behind them for other ants to follow. That's why you usually see ants in groups, and rarely a lone wolf. If you've noticed an ant coming into your kitchen, clean the area with a mixture of equal parts vinegar and water. This won't kill the ants that are already in your house, but it will get rid of their smell so more ants can't follow.
Seal the Cracks
If you have ants in your kitchen, it's pretty likely that they're not just coming through open doors or windows, but through cracks and holes around them. Caulk does wonders for keeping critters out of your home, so try to find and fill as many holes in these areas as you can. You can do this easily by yourself, and keep the caulk at hand for any future cracks or holes that appear.
Kick Up Your Cleaning Routine
If you have a pretty consistent ant problem, it's possible that you're just not cleaning your kitchen as often or as carefully as you should. Make sure you're keeping your counters and floors free of crumbs, and wipe up sticky messes as soon as they happen. Keep cupboards, drawers, and even your fridge as clean as possible. If there's a sticky or sweet mess anywhere in your kitchen, ants are bound to find it.
40 No-Bake Treats You'll Want to Make All Summer Long
The last thing anyone wants to do on a hot day is bake - cranking on the oven when it's already sweltering outside sounds so unappealing. That's where no-bake desserts come in; they easily satisfy a sweet tooth, no oven required. And because there's no baking involved, they usually take minutes to make and omit the need for overly processed ingredients. Whether you follow a raw, vegan, or gluten-free diet, one of these desserts will surely satisfy. And many of these treats are healthy to boot!
Susan Sarandon Says Debra Messing Is "Trumpian" and "Misinformed"
The ongoing semipolitical feud between Susan Sarandon and Debra Messing doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon. During a recent interview, Sarandon called Messing "not very well informed" and "Trumpian."
Sarandon's comments on Messing started when Andy Cohen, host of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, brought up the feud between them on his show on May 1. On the episode, he asks if they ever run into each other and Sarandon replies that they do but they never say a word to each other. Instead, she says that Messing will indirectly say something about her and she finds out. Sarandon then calls her "not very well informed."
She continues by saying that Messing appears to get into debates about topics she doesn't know about and it makes her a bit "Trumpian" for doing that. Sarandon ends her discussion about Messing by saying, "So I don't have anything against her personally, but sometimes I have to say, 'But you don't have the information.'" You can watch the entire clip above.
Instead of responding directly to Sarandon's comments, Messing simply retweeted two tweets that call out the drama.
The work continues @kharyp . https://t.co/f7lshfzCND
- Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) May 2, 2017
Our work continues @AndreaChalupa . https://t.co/LwWWNsVOP8
- Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) May 2, 2017
Looks like Messing might win this round by keeping it civil, Sarandon.
40 No-Bake Treats You'll Want to Make All Summer Long
The last thing anyone wants to do on a hot day is bake - cranking on the oven when it's already sweltering outside sounds so unappealing. That's where no-bake desserts come in; they easily satisfy a sweet tooth, no oven required. And because there's no baking involved, they usually take minutes to make and omit the need for overly processed ingredients. Whether you follow a raw, vegan, or gluten-free diet, one of these desserts will surely satisfy. And many of these treats are healthy to boot!
Pippa Middleton Might Be the Bride, but She Just Wore the Perfect Wedding Guest Dress
Whether you're attending a friend's wedding, Pippa Middleton's wedding (lucky you), or just a really fancy dinner, there's no denying Pippa's Erdem dress is appropriate. The sleeveless jacquard design, slightly muted in color but jazzed up thanks to embellishments at the waist and neckline, is really quite a dream.
The bride-to-be stepped out on her way to the ParaSnowBall fundraiser in London wearing the midi with a glittering clutch and suede caged heels. Her engagement ring and tiny drop earrings added some extra sparkle and ensured party guests would look her way (in case they forgot May is her special month). Scroll for another look, then shop the exact Erdem number along with similar options.
90 Essential '90s Songs Every Millennial Needs to Play on Their Wedding Day
Picking the perfect wedding playlist can be daunting for any couple, but if you narrow down an iconic decade of music it makes things a little easier. Although '80s music is great for any wedding, there are tons of gems from the '90s that you need to check out. Whether you are a country fan, are into rock 'n roll, or just want to dance, there's a nostalgic hit in here for everyone.
Pippa Middleton Might Be the Bride, but She Just Wore the Perfect Wedding Guest Dress
Whether you're attending a friend's wedding, Pippa Middleton's wedding (lucky you), or just a really fancy dinner, there's no denying Pippa's Erdem dress is appropriate. The sleeveless jacquard design, slightly muted in color but jazzed up thanks to embellishments at the waist and neckline, is really quite a dream.
The bride-to-be stepped out on her way to the ParaSnowBall fundraiser in London wearing the midi with a glittering clutch and suede caged heels. Her engagement ring and tiny drop earrings added some extra sparkle and ensured party guests would look her way (in case they forgot May is her special month). Scroll for another look, then shop the exact Erdem number along with similar options.
You Can Visit the Home of the Biggest (and Most Beautiful) Crystals in the World
Whether you believe in the healing power of crystals or are just understandably amazed by their otherworldly beauty, the Crystal Castle needs to be on your travel bucket list.
Crystal Castle and Shambhala Gardens is a retreat that began as "Australia's first direct importer . . . of quality natural crystals from around the world, supplying wholesale crystals around Australia, from the hills of Mullumbimby." But locals wanted in on the action, so limited crystal trading became open to the public. Over the past 30 years, Naren King has scoured the world for the most remarkable - and largest - crystals out there. King even mortgaged the property to procure what are believed to be some of the biggest crystals in the world from Uruguay, like a 5.5-meter amethyst geode, large enough for a person to sit inside and potentially 120 million years old.
Today, people can visit the grounds of the Crystal Castle to take tours of the Shambhala Garden, take crystal and "music of the plants" workshops, and participate in the Crystal Castle Peace Experience, which is described as a "nurturing sound healing meditation" and occurs every afternoon. There is an "enchanted cave" to explore, and guests can take aura photos and have their tarot read. Check out the beautiful photos from Instagram ahead, and dream of the spiritual Australian getaway.
Susan Sarandon Says Debra Messing Is "Trumpian" and "Misinformed"
The ongoing semipolitical feud between Susan Sarandon and Debra Messing doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon. During a recent interview, Sarandon called Messing "not very well informed" and "Trumpian."
Sarandon's comments on Messing started when Andy Cohen, host of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, brought up the feud between them on his show on May 1. On the episode, he asks if they ever run into each other and Sarandon replies that they do but they never say a word to each other. Instead, she says that Messing will indirectly say something about her and she finds out. Sarandon then calls her "not very well informed."
She continues by saying that Messing appears to get into debates about topics she doesn't know about and it makes her a bit "Trumpian" for doing that. Sarandon ends her discussion about Messing by saying, "So I don't have anything against her personally, but sometimes I have to say, 'But you don't have the information.'" You can watch the entire clip above.
Instead of responding directly to Sarandon's comments, Messing simply retweeted two tweets that call out the drama.
The work continues @kharyp . https://t.co/f7lshfzCND
- Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) May 2, 2017
Our work continues @AndreaChalupa . https://t.co/LwWWNsVOP8
- Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) May 2, 2017
Looks like Messing might win this round by keeping it civil, Sarandon.
A Multimillionaire Reveals the Best Thing About Being Crazy-Rich
Let's say you were handed $8 million today, no strings attached. What would you most look forward to about being rich? Buying a nice house or car? Traveling first-class? Quitting your job and enjoying all that unstructured time? According to one multimillionaire app developer on Reddit, none of these things comes close to the biggest satisfaction he gains from being rich: using his fortune to make others happy.
The millionaire, a Redditor named regoapps who says he's in his early 30s, admits that there certainly are aspects of happiness that money can buy. For example, the freedom of not answering to anyone is sugar-sweet. Not having to set an alarm or impress a boss is a huge relief. Additionally, being able to splurge on things that will save you time - for instance, skipping the TSA lines at the airport with Global Entry - is gratifying and makes you feel like you bought back all that personal time.
The best kind of splurging, however, is the kind you do for others. Regoapps sums up the best part of being rich like this:
It sucks to feel like your hands are tied and you can't help others. That's how I used to feel when I saw people struggling financially and I didn't have the money yet to do something about it. Nowadays I have funded other people's kids' college funds, tipped people much more than what I was paying for, custom built an Iron Man suit to cheer up kids at hospitals, helped get clean water to villages that before didn't have access to it, and etc. It feels great to be able to help, especially when I can do it anonymously and just walk away.
When it comes to spending money on others, I just splurge. Spending money on myself doesn't always make me that much happier. But I noticed that when I spend the money on others, they feel very, very happy. And seeing them smile makes me smile, too.
So maybe it's true that money can't buy love - but it can provide that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from helping others.
This Magical Mermaid Candle Looks Like the Ocean but Smells Like Heaven
If your inner mermaid is pining for the ocean, satisfy your wavy cravings with a DIY candle. The shifting blue hues and the calming fragrance, created with essential oils, will create that laid-back vibe you need to de-stress. If candles aren't your thing, why not try making your own diffuser to bring some calm into your life with aromatherapy.
Behold, the Full Cast of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
At long last, the sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy has arrived! The original's quintet of Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, and Dave Bautista, have returned, but that's not all. There's a bizarre new role for Kurt Russell, and a new more newbies. Unfortunately, previously announced stars Glenn Close and Nathan Fillion did not make it into the final cut. Let's hope for a reel of deleted scenes to surface! Keep reading to see the entire stellar cast, and get all the other details floating around out there.
This Magical Mermaid Candle Looks Like the Ocean but Smells Like Heaven
If your inner mermaid is pining for the ocean, satisfy your wavy cravings with a DIY candle. The shifting blue hues and the calming fragrance, created with essential oils, will create that laid-back vibe you need to de-stress. If candles aren't your thing, why not try making your own diffuser to bring some calm into your life with aromatherapy.
29 Chic Tiny Tattoos That Actually Look Like Earrings
Sleeping in earrings is never a good thing - you can either ruin your jewelry or the skin on your lobes. But remembering to take them on and off - especially after a glass of Rosé - is also a pain. One way to ensure that your ears are always decorated without bothering with jewelry is to get a chic ear tattoo.
We combed through Instagram to find earring tattoo ideas. Top trends include cartilage "hoops," classic studs, and faux dangling pairs. Keep reading to see! And if you're more adventurous, check out these gorgeous helix ear ink looks.
How I'm Getting Through Mother's Day After Losing My Mom and Grandma
On Easter Sunday, I had a hard time making it through the day. At 3 p.m., you could find me sitting on a bus on my way to get a milkshake because life got that hard, that quickly.
I walked down New York City streets in my Easter best - a crop top and high-rise joggers, trust me it worked - and my only thought was, "I see how she's missing in every part of today."
That feeling reminded me of what I would be up against come Mother's Day. It's an empty kind of feeling that somehow is heavy enough to weigh on you. It's the reminder that they would've, could've, should've done this, if only they were here. It's the kind of all-encompassing feeling that leads me to quiet moments and a bartering conversation with God that I know I'm not going to win.
"Just give me five more minutes to say 'Feliz Día de las Madres,' and tell them that I love them and that I'm doing all right."
There's a good chance that in this moment my mind cues up Kanye West's "Hey Mama" as background music as I proceed to sit there, head down, looking for acceptance because I'm out of moments when someone I call Mami will say gracias back because of a card I picked up at the store.
For a decade of my life, my grandma was on the receiving end of those cards and flowers. In one of her favorite batas, she would sit there, year after year, as a little girl who'd just lost her mom figured out how to not feel awkward on the one day that highlighted how different she felt.
I'm going on the third year of having to visit both of my moms at the cemetery if I want to give them flowers, and each year reminds me of moments I'll never get back.
So instead, I try to be brave in ways that both my mom and my grandma taught me. On Easter Sunday, I was brave and let a friend into my sad day, I'd decided I could take the bus alone or I could let someone sit next to me, if even metaphorically.
On Mother's Day, I publish essays on my website, Too Damn Young, that others who have lost their mom have written. It reminds me of my grandma's ability to bring people together around any one feeling or on any single day.
As a Latina, my grandma was as much of a mami to me as my own mom was, so, yeah, Mother's Day is definitely not the easiest day. I miss her singing old Ecuadorian classics in our living room, as she was surrounded by flowers, cards, and flan. I feel cheated out of the opportunity to see my nephews and baby cousins squirm uncomfortably as she hugged them a bit tighter.
A family changes after losing a matriarch, but for her I'm brave. For them, I at least give it my best try.
The Most Tasteful This Is Us-Themed Wedding Photo Shoot You'll Ever See
Wedding photographer Karen Rainier knew from the moment she watched "I Call Marriage," the wedding episode of This Is Us, that she had to re-create it. Though Rebecca (Mandy Moore) and Jack's (Milo Ventimiglia) special day takes place in the '70s, it actually looks incredibly modern. (Simplistic, retro-inspired weddings are all the rage these days, anyway.) Rainier enlisted Peter and Emily, a real couple who just happen to look like Mama and Papa Pearson, to pose for her. From the invitations to the car, Maryland-based Rainier truly thought of everything. Take a look!
The Obamas Unveiled the Design of Their Chicago Center - and It's Awesome
The Obamas have been busy since leaving office. They wasted no time moving into a luxurious private home in DC and now they've announced plans for a new endeavor in Chicago's Jackson Park: The Obama Presidential Center. According the Obama Foundation, the "living, working center" will be open to the public and serve as an "ongoing project where we will shape, together, what it means to be a good citizen in the 21st century." In addition to the center's commendable mission, its innovative design is also notable.
Multiple contemporary structures and an outdoor plaza are designed to invite visitors to flow through. A towering museum anchors the space while the roofs of the forum and library are covered with lush, green plantings. "This approach will soften the transition between city, landscape, lagoon, and lake," the Obama Foundation explains. The buildings will be constructed of variegated stone with light filtering through glass openings and will be certified LEED v4 Platinum, indicating that they're designed to the highest level of efficiency and sustainability. The center is slated for completion in 2021 and was designed by Billie Tsien Architects | Partners and Interactive Design Architects.
10 Facts About Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen That Will Kinda Blow Your Mind
Image Source: Getty/Stephen Lovekin
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have been household names literally since the year they were born. After playing Michelle Tanner on Full House, the twins went on to create their very own childhood empire, complete with made-for-TV movies, big-screen blockbusters, and countless items of merchandise. The twins are now 30 and stay mostly out of the spotlight to run their fashion brand, The Row. While we've previously been curious about their past romances and Mary-Kate's intriguing marriage to Olivier Sarkozy, we also wanted to find out more general facts about their life in the spotlight. See them all below while we all keep our fingers crossed for a Michelle cameo on Fuller House!
- They're not identical. Mary-Kate and Ashley are fraternal twins. Ashley is two minutes older than Mary-Kate, is an inch shorter, and has a freckle above her upper lip.
- They made their acting debut shortly after they were born. The twins were cast as Michelle Tanner in Full House when they were just 6 months old, and they began filming when they were 9 months old.
- They wore dentures on set. Since Mary-Kate and Ashley played Michelle until they were 8, they went through typical childhood milestones during filming, including losing baby teeth. But since they lost different teeth at different rates, they both wore dentures so that Michelle had the same smile.
- Ashley's middle name is Fuller. In a weird twist of fate, Ashley's middle name mirrors the title of Full House's Netflix spinoff show, Fuller House. Since Mary-Kate's name is hyphenated, she technically has no middle name.
- They dominated Hollywood at a very young age. The twins became the youngest-ever Hollywood producers in 1992 when they formed the production company Dualstar. They were 6 years old.
- Both of their first onscreen kisses were in Passport to Paris. Their two love interests were played by Brocker Way and Ethan Peck.
Image Source: Everett Collection
- They once christened a cruise ship. Mary-Kate and Ashley christened the MS Zaandam in May 2000.
- They grew up with Pretty Little Liars' Troian Bellisario. Troian lived across the street from the twins whey they were younger, and the three girls became best friends.
- They have siblings. Mary-Kate and Ashley have a older brother, Brent, and a younger sister, Elizabeth, who has made quite a name for herself as an actress in recent years. They also have a half-sister, Courtney, and a half-brother, Jake, from their father's second marriage.
Image Source: Getty/Jamie McCarthy
- They made Walk of Fame history. Mary-Kate and Ashley were the first twins to receive a joint star of the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2004.
How to Stay on Theme - and Look Cool - at Disney
As a self-proclaimed Disney obsessive, I plan my park outfits strategically. We're talking a Lion King graphic tee for Animal Kingdom and Princess Ariel crown on the day I plan to visit the grotto in Fantasyland. Lame? I don't think so. Because when I actually hit Main Street, I promise you I look less like a crazy chick in a costume and more like a fan who's also fashion girl. Because listen, I style my Disney gear with cute cutoffs or bright-red Daisy Dukes and a pair of on-trend sneakers.
It seems like the celebs I follow on Instagram are all on board with the same set of rules. Whether they're on the West Coast at the OG theme park in Anaheim or park hopping it in Orlando, Gigi Hadid, Lily Aldridge, Kourtney Kardashian, and more keep their looks fresh and topped with a pair of Mickey ears. That's just how I like it. Scroll to get inspired, then shop a few essentials.
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