Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
jeudi 1 juin 2017
I Wore Heels to Work For 2 Weeks - and I Paid
get
Once upon a time I lived in the corporate world and wore LBDs and stilettos to work every day. No blistery or frigid trek across the Manhattan tundra could reverse the spell that heels had on my heart. And then one day like a fairy godmother, a career change rescued me to a land where every day was casual Friday.
The reality is, my about-face hasn't only been from 9 to 5. Thanks to more accessible trends like athleisure and dressy flats, my style has relaxed for nights and weekends too. Am I more comfortable? Yes. Do I miss feeling fancy? Maybe. So when I challenged myself to wear heels to work for two weeks, I went all in. That meant no cheating - no extra change of shoes in my tote bag, no spare pair in my desk drawer. I would be wearing them to and fro for 10 weekdays straight. My own personal exposure therapy, if you will.
The first thing I remembered wasn't the physical pain - anyone who's ever worn heels knows that comes much later down the road - it was the emotional pain of always being late. As a punctual person living in a mass transit world, I always factor extra time in the morning for the joyous experience that is my daily subway commute. But power walking six blocks to the N train is slower going when you're packing heat in your feet. I adjusted my alarm clock accordingly, but the time started adding up.
If I was considering stopping home to change between work and dinner I'd have to account for the walk both ways. If I was debating going on foot rather than taking the train I'd have to leave early. If I wanted to run down the subway steps I'd have to hold onto the railing. Which brings me to my next point: I'm a recovered heel addict but a struggling germaphobe. A pro subway surfer, some say. But if I'm wearing heels, I'm holding onto the pole and carrying hand sanitizer in my bag (along with a fresh supply of Band-Aids and Blister Block).
And then there were the Uber bills. I'm won't blame heels entirely, but they definitely helped swing the pendulum in those moments when you're on the fence between being a responsible adult and saving money and not really caring about being a responsible adult because you're tired or cold or your feet really, really hurt. In a perfect storm of running late, aching bones, and suede-destroying downpours, I took a car home from work one night for a price which we shall never speak of again.
But the biggest shock came on day one. When I walked to my desk, admittedly with the extra burst of confidence that can only come with two and a half extra inches, I remembered why I was addicted to heels in the first place - those three magic words: "love your outfit." Throughout the week I realized that not only did my footwear upgrade basics, but it encouraged me to play with new pairings and rediscover old favorites. Why should my feet have all the fun?
But there was something else behind the compliments. If you've ever dressed up for a job interview and left early for a "dentist appointment," you know what I'm talking about. Questions like "Where are you going?" and "What's the occasion?" made me feel an uneasy combination of flattered and awkward.
I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I wore heels to work. I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I put much effort at all into getting dressed for work in the morning, for that matter. There's a fine line between relaxed and sloppy, and as the weeks went on I realized I may have crossed it. Casual Fridays are fun, but they're more thrilling when scattered among down-to-business Wednesdays.
It turns out wearing heels for two weeks taught me more about the state of my mind than the state of my feet. It was a sudden and gentle reminder of the images we put out into the world - and it had nothing to do with my shoes. It had everything to do with my attitude! To answer an earlier question, I didn't miss heels - I missed feeling fancy. And I had no excuse. I could easily devote the extra pockets of time I put aside for walking in heels these past two weeks to putting outfits together in the morning or the night before - topped off with loafers, ballets, or slides.
When the period came to a close my feet - and my calves - were more than happy to revert. Flats had become my uniform and I had no plans of packing in my Stan Smiths. Stilettos are no longer my reality, just a glamorous vacation. And at the end of the day I look at heels as just that: a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.
7 Life-Saving Home Safety Tips Everyone Who Lives Alone Needs to Read
Moving out on your own is a big step. Leaving the comfort of a shared apartment, college dorm, or parent's house to live in an apartment all alone can be as scary as it is exhilarating. Along with all the independence that comes from renting (or buying) solo comes the full responsibility of watching out for your own safety - no roomies or mom to make sure you're home OK or lock the door behind you!
To learn how to stay safe when striking out on your own, we spoke with expert David Laubner of Blink Home Security. Check out his pro tips below - they might just save your life.
Change the locks as soon as you move in.
"Ensuring you know who has access to copies of your keys should be the first question to the landlord," David says. He warns that not all landlords do their due diligence to update the locks when a tenant moves out, so it's a smart idea to change them yourself upon moving in.
Make friends with your neighbors.
"People are 77 percent more likely to help a neighbor they know. It also allows your neighbors to be aware of what you look like so if they see someone knocking or going into your apartment that isn't you, they will know when to help or be more attentive."
Install an entrance door security camera.
David says it's essential to have some form of security in an apartment while you're not there monitoring your front door. "Having a security camera will give you that peace of mind. They don't have to be expensive, either; our indoor cameras start at just $99."
Use window stoppers.
"Windows are great to get fresh air, but they are one of the easiest access points in an apartment," David warns. "By simply putting a wooden pole in between where the two windows meet, you can block access for burglars." He also advises adding extra protection to any windows that could be accessed by climbing a tree. A simple window alarm is a good place to start.
View the room as if you are looking in from the street.
"Make sure to evaluate the rooms of the apartment as if you are looking through the window because burglars or thieves have the ability to look before entering," David says. To keep them from getting a good look at your apartment from the outside, he advises drawing the shades before leaving when possible or, for a more permanent solution, coating on the window so no one can peek in.
Get a door peep hole.
"One of the most common areas burglars and thieves enter is through is still the front door," says David. "They tend to knock first to ensure no one is home, so be sure you have something to prepare for any intruders who come to the door. It also allows you be better informed for anyone knocking at your door."
Download a personal security app.
David's final tip for solo dwellers: get a personal security app. "Whether you're headed out to meet girlfriends or simply walking from your apartment to your car, downloading a personal security app, such as bSafe, is a smart move for any woman who lives alone. This allows you to invite your friends to virtually walk you home and will even notify them when you've arrived at your destination."
5 Things You Can Do to Feel More Energized Right Now
While it's hard to undo a night of crappy sleep, there are definitely small things you can do to try. The next time you're feeling sluggish and not on top of your game, find help with one of these methods.
- Drink water: A lack of energy is often a sign that you're dehydrated. Not only can being dehydrated make you feel sluggish, but it can also cause you to feel foggy and more prone to headaches. Make sure you always have water on hand by investing in a reusable water bottle.
- Go for a walk: A little fresh air and sunshine can do a lot when it comes to boosting energy. If you sit at a desk all day, give yourself at least 15 minutes to get outside and away from your desk. Doing so will also do wonders for your productivity.
- Reach for an energizing snack: Your brain and body need food to keep going through the day, but choosing items there are loaded in sugar or fat may do more to load you down than lift you up. Avoid a midafternoon sugar crash by opting for snacks that are full of good-for-you protein, fiber, and whole grains.
- Stretch: A quick stretch session can help energize you by getting the blood flowing and also aiding in digestion. Yogi Tara Stiles recommends these poses to wake up the body and add much-needed energy to your day.
- Dance: Throw on a playlist, crank up your stereo, and get moving for a few minutes! Dancing has been shown to make people feel more happy and less stressed. And like any form of exercise, dancing translates to more energy throughout the day. Not a fan of dance? Hop in a conference room and do a set of jumping jacks instead!
Giada De Laurentiis Reveals the 1 Surprising Ingredient She Adds to Pasta
Celebrity chef Giada De Laurentiis is known for celebrating her Italian heritage through her cooking. So naturally, she was the perfect woman to host the New York Wine and Food Festival's Italian Table event in New York City.
Source: Getty / Neilson Barnard
I caught up with her inside the Giada Vegas booth to chat about pasta, the importance of learning how to cook "lemon spaghetti" (which somehow sounds so much more enticing when she says it with her Italian accent), and the basic supplies to keep stocked for quality Italian fare. Giada's booth was swarmed with crowds all night long, where she was busy personally handing out her delicious muffuletta sandwich to throngs of devoted fans. Seriously, I'll be thinking about that sandwich for at least the rest of the week.
Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Lisa Peterson
On the 1 Surprising Ingredient She Adds to Pasta
"Chocolate! Short rib with chocolate. I'm actually making it tomorrow night for dinner."
On the 5 Staples She Thinks Everybody Should Keep Stocked in Their Pantry
"Pasta, jarred tomato sauce, whatever kind you like. I like Rao's or Mutti, but Mutti is harder to find. Garlic, olive oil, and red pepper flakes."
On Her Favorite Go-To Breakfast on Busy Days
"I do brown rice, with olive oil and salt. I like a carb for breakfast, and I like a savory breakfast. If you start your day with sugar, you're jacked for the rest of the day. I get up really early in the morning, so I need a carbohydrate. So I'll do 1/4 cup of brown rice, with warm olive oil and salt. At my restaurant I do oatmeal, olive oil, salt, and marcona almonds for protein."
This post was originally published on Oct. 14, 2016.
Giada De Laurentiis Reveals the 1 Surprising Ingredient She Adds to Pasta
Celebrity chef Giada De Laurentiis is known for celebrating her Italian heritage through her cooking. So naturally, she was the perfect woman to host the New York Wine and Food Festival's Italian Table event in New York City.
Source: Getty / Neilson Barnard
I caught up with her inside the Giada Vegas booth to chat about pasta, the importance of learning how to cook "lemon spaghetti" (which somehow sounds so much more enticing when she says it with her Italian accent), and the basic supplies to keep stocked for quality Italian fare. Giada's booth was swarmed with crowds all night long, where she was busy personally handing out her delicious muffuletta sandwich to throngs of devoted fans. Seriously, I'll be thinking about that sandwich for at least the rest of the week.
Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Lisa Peterson
On the 1 Surprising Ingredient She Adds to Pasta
"Chocolate! Short rib with chocolate. I'm actually making it tomorrow night for dinner."
On the 5 Staples She Thinks Everybody Should Keep Stocked in Their Pantry
"Pasta, jarred tomato sauce, whatever kind you like. I like Rao's or Mutti, but Mutti is harder to find. Garlic, olive oil, and red pepper flakes."
On Her Favorite Go-To Breakfast on Busy Days
"I do brown rice, with olive oil and salt. I like a carb for breakfast, and I like a savory breakfast. If you start your day with sugar, you're jacked for the rest of the day. I get up really early in the morning, so I need a carbohydrate. So I'll do 1/4 cup of brown rice, with warm olive oil and salt. At my restaurant I do oatmeal, olive oil, salt, and marcona almonds for protein."
This post was originally published on Oct. 14, 2016.
Republican Congressman Says "God Will Take Care of" Climate Change
Scientists have often dispelled the myth that climate change is not a real problem, but Tim Walberg, a congressman from Michigan, says there's a reason he's not worried about the drastic changes happening on earth. While speaking at a town hall in Coldwater, MI, recently, Walberg explained why he believes God, and only God, will be able to "take care of" climate change. Read his full quote ahead.
"I believe there's climate change. I believe there's been climate change since the beginning of time. I think there are cycles. Do I think man has some impact? Yeah, of course. Can man change the entire universe? No. Why do I believe that? Well, as a Christian, I believe that there is a creator in God who is much bigger than us. And I'm confident that, if there's a real problem, he can take care of it."
The problem with Walberg's theory is that it has been proven that humans are the main cause of global warming. If we don't take action to decrease the amount of pollution we add into the atmosphere, it could have disastrous effects for our planet. Maybe someone could give Walberg a copy of Leonardo DiCaprio's eye-opening documentary about climate change. Just a suggestion.
Watch his full spiel in the video clip above.
5 Things You Can Do to Feel More Energized Right Now
While it's hard to undo a night of crappy sleep, there are definitely small things you can do to try. The next time you're feeling sluggish and not on top of your game, find help with one of these methods.
- Drink water: A lack of energy is often a sign that you're dehydrated. Not only can being dehydrated make you feel sluggish, but it can also cause you to feel foggy and more prone to headaches. Make sure you always have water on hand by investing in a reusable water bottle.
- Go for a walk: A little fresh air and sunshine can do a lot when it comes to boosting energy. If you sit at a desk all day, give yourself at least 15 minutes to get outside and away from your desk. Doing so will also do wonders for your productivity.
- Reach for an energizing snack: Your brain and body need food to keep going through the day, but choosing items there are loaded in sugar or fat may do more to load you down than lift you up. Avoid a midafternoon sugar crash by opting for snacks that are full of good-for-you protein, fiber, and whole grains.
- Stretch: A quick stretch session can help energize you by getting the blood flowing and also aiding in digestion. Yogi Tara Stiles recommends these poses to wake up the body and add much-needed energy to your day.
- Dance: Throw on a playlist, crank up your stereo, and get moving for a few minutes! Dancing has been shown to make people feel more happy and less stressed. And like any form of exercise, dancing translates to more energy throughout the day. Not a fan of dance? Hop in a conference room and do a set of jumping jacks instead!
You'll Want Wonder Woman's Powerful Theme Song on Your Gym Playlist ASAP
While watching Wonder Woman, you'll probably come away with a lot of thoughts - "holy sh*t, that was good," likely being chief among them - but there was one thing I couldn't get out of my head: Diana's intense theme song. Anytime the Princess of the Amazons was about to kick some serious ass, a powerful, familiar cello song would play. It's the same basic theme Hans Zimmer composed for Wonder Woman's action scene in Batman v Superman, called "Is She With You," only this time it's gotten a metal makeover from Tina Guo.
As io9 recently pointed out, Guo is a classically trained musician and electric cellist, who also plays bass and guitar (she even performed with the Foo Fighters at the 2008 Grammy Awards). She and Zimmer worked together to develop the initial theme, and now her solo version can be heard in full as Gal Gadot takes down enemy after enemy in the new film. Listen to the finished product above, and check out Guo in action below!
Recording #ElectricCello for my new #WonderWoman single.... coming soon! #Metal #PizzaPower #Pizza 🍕🍕🍕🎸🎸🎸🎻🎻🎻 http://pic.twitter.com/Z5WtkULWCK
- Tina Guo (@Tinaguo) March 5, 2017
Metal Wonderwoman 😳🎸#WonderWoman #Bass #Cello #TinaGuo http://pic.twitter.com/fwoC7C3qUs
- Tina Guo (@Tinaguo) March 5, 2017
How to Style the Clothes You Already Have
While it's easy to get hung up on the latest trend or the season's It bags, style really isn't something that can be bought. Sure, editors and insiders have their share of chic gear, but the reason why some become icons and inspirations is because of how they put the whole look together. At the end of the day, it's about how you style it - and styling, friends, is free.
With that in mind, we've zeroed in on just six quick ways to wear your clothes - small ways to tweak your jacket or cuff your jeans that have a major impact on how your whole outfit looks. Plus, these aren't seasonal or of-the-moment, these are timeless tricks that work again and again.
Queen Elizabeth II Returns to the Place She Became a Freeman 70 Years Later
Image Source: Getty / Chris Jackson
Queen Elizabeth II took a break from binging The Crown on Wednesday to celebrate a very important milestone in her time as monarch: the 70th anniversary of her admission to the Freedom of the Drapers' Company. She visited Drapers' Hall in London to mark the occasion, where the 91-year-old was presented with a photo of the day she was admitted to the group back in 1947. The queen's admission to the Freedom of the Drapers' Company was another way she followed in the footsteps of her father, King George VI, since he himself became a Draper in 1919. During her time there, Queen Elizabeth also made sure to sign the Instrument at Drapers' Hall - a document drafted by professional calligrapher Tim Noad on vellum - to cement her 70th anniversary visit.
The Queen views displays at Drapers' Hall, including a photo taken of HM's admission to the Freedom of the Company on 20th May 1947. http://pic.twitter.com/WQQGgz8SHz
- The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) May 31, 2017
The Drapers' Company's history goes back to the year 1361, when it was formed as a trade association of wool and cloth merchants. Three years later, it received a Royal Charter, which allowed it to become one of the Twelve Great Livery Companies in London, amassing prestige and power. Today, the company's focus has shifted to providing young students with educational opportunities and aiding organizations in finding care for elderly and homeless people.
The queen attended the event solo since her husband, Prince Philip, was busy honoring a different occasion. Wednesday also marked the 130th anniversary of London Youth, which happens to be the first royal patronage he ever took on. Instead she was escorted out of the building by another member of the Drapers' Company and gifted with flowers by some adorable students of the Drapers' Maylands School.
The Queen receives a posy from pupils of the Drapers' Maylands School following today's visit to Drapers' Hall 🌺 http://pic.twitter.com/9AZrBVoMy3
- The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) May 31, 2017
15 Statement-Making Summer Hats - All Under $50!
Think of a hat as the cherry on top of your outfit. It adds a special detail to your look, and after you remove it you'll feel like something is missing. This Summer, there's lots of amazing headwear options you'll love. Not only are they cute but they shield you from the sun as well. We chose some of our favorite picks under $50, so they're affordable too! Take a look and give one of these hats a test drive.
I Wore Heels to Work For 2 Weeks - and I Paid
get
Once upon a time I lived in the corporate world and wore LBDs and stilettos to work every day. No blistery or frigid trek across the Manhattan tundra could reverse the spell that heels had on my heart. And then one day like a fairy godmother, a career change rescued me to a land where every day was casual Friday.
The reality is, my about-face hasn't only been from 9 to 5. Thanks to more accessible trends like athleisure and dressy flats, my style has relaxed for nights and weekends too. Am I more comfortable? Yes. Do I miss feeling fancy? Maybe. So when I challenged myself to wear heels to work for two weeks, I went all in. That meant no cheating - no extra change of shoes in my tote bag, no spare pair in my desk drawer. I would be wearing them to and fro for 10 weekdays straight. My own personal exposure therapy, if you will.
The first thing I remembered wasn't the physical pain - anyone who's ever worn heels knows that comes much later down the road - it was the emotional pain of always being late. As a punctual person living in a mass transit world, I always factor extra time in the morning for the joyous experience that is my daily subway commute. But power walking six blocks to the N train is slower going when you're packing heat in your feet. I adjusted my alarm clock accordingly, but the time started adding up.
If I was considering stopping home to change between work and dinner I'd have to account for the walk both ways. If I was debating going on foot rather than taking the train I'd have to leave early. If I wanted to run down the subway steps I'd have to hold onto the railing. Which brings me to my next point: I'm a recovered heel addict but a struggling germaphobe. A pro subway surfer, some say. But if I'm wearing heels, I'm holding onto the pole and carrying hand sanitizer in my bag (along with a fresh supply of Band-Aids and Blister Block).
And then there were the Uber bills. I'm won't blame heels entirely, but they definitely helped swing the pendulum in those moments when you're on the fence between being a responsible adult and saving money and not really caring about being a responsible adult because you're tired or cold or your feet really, really hurt. In a perfect storm of running late, aching bones, and suede-destroying downpours, I took a car home from work one night for a price which we shall never speak of again.
But the biggest shock came on day one. When I walked to my desk, admittedly with the extra burst of confidence that can only come with two and a half extra inches, I remembered why I was addicted to heels in the first place - those three magic words: "love your outfit." Throughout the week I realized that not only did my footwear upgrade basics, but it encouraged me to play with new pairings and rediscover old favorites. Why should my feet have all the fun?
But there was something else behind the compliments. If you've ever dressed up for a job interview and left early for a "dentist appointment," you know what I'm talking about. Questions like "Where are you going?" and "What's the occasion?" made me feel an uneasy combination of flattered and awkward.
I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I wore heels to work. I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I put much effort at all into getting dressed for work in the morning, for that matter. There's a fine line between relaxed and sloppy, and as the weeks went on I realized I may have crossed it. Casual Fridays are fun, but they're more thrilling when scattered among down-to-business Wednesdays.
It turns out wearing heels for two weeks taught me more about the state of my mind than the state of my feet. It was a sudden and gentle reminder of the images we put out into the world - and it had nothing to do with my shoes. It had everything to do with my attitude! To answer an earlier question, I didn't miss heels - I missed feeling fancy. And I had no excuse. I could easily devote the extra pockets of time I put aside for walking in heels these past two weeks to putting outfits together in the morning or the night before - topped off with loafers, ballets, or slides.
When the period came to a close my feet - and my calves - were more than happy to revert. Flats had become my uniform and I had no plans of packing in my Stan Smiths. Stilettos are no longer my reality, just a glamorous vacation. And at the end of the day I look at heels as just that: a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.
How to Style the Clothes You Already Have
While it's easy to get hung up on the latest trend or the season's It bags, style really isn't something that can be bought. Sure, editors and insiders have their share of chic gear, but the reason why some become icons and inspirations is because of how they put the whole look together. At the end of the day, it's about how you style it - and styling, friends, is free.
With that in mind, we've zeroed in on just six quick ways to wear your clothes - small ways to tweak your jacket or cuff your jeans that have a major impact on how your whole outfit looks. Plus, these aren't seasonal or of-the-moment, these are timeless tricks that work again and again.
These Twins Celebrated Their 100th Birthday With an Adorable Photo Shoot
The Brazilian sisters donned flower crowns and tutus.
Dad Explains Why a Toddler Having a Tantrum Is Actually a Sign of Good Parenting
We've all heard it in some capacity before (and maybe we've even been guilty of saying it ourselves) when a child is having a meltdown in public: "That parent needs to control their kids." As a parent, though, you know that's so much easier said than done. After dealing with his own toddler's tantrum at a Red Robin, one dad is sharing his opinion on public kiddo meltdowns.
"I'm stuck in the van with my toddler," starts Clint Edwards in a post to his blog's Facebook page. "We went out to dinner as a family, and she had a meltdown because mom wouldn't let her throw chicken strips. So she screamed, and screamed, and kicked and kicked, and since I was the only one finished with my meal, I had the pleasure of dragging her out of Red Robin."
The frustrated dad continues, sharing that as he carried her out, everyone he passed - mostly childless people, he assumed - stared at him with that "look that seems to say, 'If you can't control your kid, then don't go out.'"
"Well," he wrote. "No. I can't control her. She's 2 and it's going to take years to teach her how to act appropriately in public, and the only way I am ever going to teach that is to take her out and show her what's right and wrong. By saying no a million times, letting her throw a fit, and telling her no again."
The dad's post continues, emphasizing how difficult it can be to parent in these awkward situations, but that it's a process everyone's own parents had to go through with them at one point in time as well.
These lessons take patience, hard work, and real world experiences, and I'm sorry to those at the bar who got irritated by my child's fit, but you are part of this practice. Your parents did the same with you, and that's how you now know how to recognize when a child does something irritating in a restaurant. It's how you learned to look at a situation and say, "That parent needs to control their kids."
It's how you learned to be a respectable person.
Clint wraps up his post with empathy and understanding, but also drives his point home. "I get it. Kids are irritating when they are loud in a restaurant. I know. I'm living it," he wrote. "But before you get angry and judgmental, realize that what you are witnessing is not bad parenting, but rather, parents working hard to fix the situation. You are looking at what it takes to turn a child into a person."
Why This Mom Puts 5 Hairbands on Wrist to Deal With Her Difficult Toddler
Today a mom in Virginia put five black hairbands on her wrist, not because she wants to be certain that her hair is up at all times but because she wants to be a better parent to her "testy" four-year-old son.
Confused? Let Angel Camden explain:
I've found myself so incredibly stressed out, I beat my head against the wall daily because I don't understand why my four-year-old insists on being disrespectful and a non-listener. I was to the point of crying at least every other day.
I wore 5 rubber bands on my wrist from the time I got up, to the time I tucked him in just now. The 5 rubber bands represent every time you lose your cool or say something unkind to your child. Every time that happens, you move one band to the other wrist. To "gain the band back," you must do 5 kind/positive things with your child – a dance party, singing a song together, reading together . . .
Her experiment wasn't just something she came up with on her own. She had read about its effectiveness.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman calls it "the magic ratio" - that as long as there are five times as many positive interactions between people as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable. Even a Harvard-published study revealed that having at least five positive comments ("I agree with that," or "that's a terrific idea") to negative comments fosters ideal team performance.
"I'm going to be using this method until it becomes a habit and basically turns into an autopilot ritual," Camden said on her Facebook post. "I have finished the day with all five bands on the original wrist. I'm very proud of myself for exercising patience with him. I know it's only Day 1, but I'm hopeful this will help our communication skills and our relationship. If you find yourself being that 'angry mom,' try this!"
Dad Explains Why a Toddler Having a Tantrum Is Actually a Sign of Good Parenting
We've all heard it in some capacity before (and maybe we've even been guilty of saying it ourselves) when a child is having a meltdown in public: "That parent needs to control their kids." As a parent, though, you know that's so much easier said than done. After dealing with his own toddler's tantrum at a Red Robin, one dad is sharing his opinion on public kiddo meltdowns.
"I'm stuck in the van with my toddler," starts Clint Edwards in a post to his blog's Facebook page. "We went out to dinner as a family, and she had a meltdown because mom wouldn't let her throw chicken strips. So she screamed, and screamed, and kicked and kicked, and since I was the only one finished with my meal, I had the pleasure of dragging her out of Red Robin."
The frustrated dad continues, sharing that as he carried her out, everyone he passed - mostly childless people, he assumed - stared at him with that "look that seems to say, 'If you can't control your kid, then don't go out.'"
"Well," he wrote. "No. I can't control her. She's 2 and it's going to take years to teach her how to act appropriately in public, and the only way I am ever going to teach that is to take her out and show her what's right and wrong. By saying no a million times, letting her throw a fit, and telling her no again."
The dad's post continues, emphasizing how difficult it can be to parent in these awkward situations, but that it's a process everyone's own parents had to go through with them at one point in time as well.
These lessons take patience, hard work, and real world experiences, and I'm sorry to those at the bar who got irritated by my child's fit, but you are part of this practice. Your parents did the same with you, and that's how you now know how to recognize when a child does something irritating in a restaurant. It's how you learned to look at a situation and say, "That parent needs to control their kids."
It's how you learned to be a respectable person.
Clint wraps up his post with empathy and understanding, but also drives his point home. "I get it. Kids are irritating when they are loud in a restaurant. I know. I'm living it," he wrote. "But before you get angry and judgmental, realize that what you are witnessing is not bad parenting, but rather, parents working hard to fix the situation. You are looking at what it takes to turn a child into a person."
Why This Mom Puts 5 Hairbands on Wrist to Deal With Her Difficult Toddler
Today a mom in Virginia put five black hairbands on her wrist, not because she wants to be certain that her hair is up at all times but because she wants to be a better parent to her "testy" four-year-old son.
Confused? Let Angel Camden explain:
I've found myself so incredibly stressed out, I beat my head against the wall daily because I don't understand why my four-year-old insists on being disrespectful and a non-listener. I was to the point of crying at least every other day.
I wore 5 rubber bands on my wrist from the time I got up, to the time I tucked him in just now. The 5 rubber bands represent every time you lose your cool or say something unkind to your child. Every time that happens, you move one band to the other wrist. To "gain the band back," you must do 5 kind/positive things with your child – a dance party, singing a song together, reading together . . .
Her experiment wasn't just something she came up with on her own. She had read about its effectiveness.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman calls it "the magic ratio" - that as long as there are five times as many positive interactions between people as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable. Even a Harvard-published study revealed that having at least five positive comments ("I agree with that," or "that's a terrific idea") to negative comments fosters ideal team performance.
"I'm going to be using this method until it becomes a habit and basically turns into an autopilot ritual," Camden said on her Facebook post. "I have finished the day with all five bands on the original wrist. I'm very proud of myself for exercising patience with him. I know it's only Day 1, but I'm hopeful this will help our communication skills and our relationship. If you find yourself being that 'angry mom,' try this!"
See the Places Barack and Michelle Called Home Before the White House
Until very recently, Barack and Michelle Obama have proudly called 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue "home." For almost a decade, not only has this monumental White House served as their living quarters and "office space," but it has been where they have raised two cute little girls into poised and well-rounded young women. And while they have already selected their new home post-White House, we were curious to know where Barack and Michelle lived before they both became staples of American history. Read on for an inside look at their digs long before we referred to this power couple as president and first lady.
Why 1 School Put Students Through a Lunch-Shaming "Roll Call"
It seems like every week there's a new story on parents or kids being called out for the food packed in their lunchboxes or the lack of money in their accounts. But students are speaking out after one New Jersey school took things a step further by publicly giving students a serious ultimatum.
According to students at Fair Lawn High School, kids who owed lunch money were called out during an assembly and told they wouldn't receive their diplomas if they didn't settle their debt.
"Exactly like a roll call, and for [overdue library] books, the students called had to actually walk over to the stage and pick something up," Fair Lawn senior Benny Koval told The Daily Beast. "The first few names provoked a lot of laughter and name-calling."
My high school's having a name & shame for students who owe lunch and/or book money.
Admins say they won't graduate unless debts are covered http://pic.twitter.com/RTAdIpyeos- benny • בני (@bennykoval) May 31, 2017
After the school's assembly took the surprising twist, Koval posted a video on Twitter that quickly went viral. "My high school's having a name & shame for students who owe lunch and/or book money," Koval wrote. "Admins say they won't graduate unless debts are covered." After the video spread online, strangers offered to pay off the students' debts so they could walk on graduation day.
The principal's secretary, Diane Knudsen, spoke to The Daily Beast about the situation and said that the assembly's roll call of indebted students was "not a ceremony." Instead she explained, "It's their obligation."
Although states like New Mexico are officially making "lunch shaming" against the law, the issue is still rampant, even in elementary school. In Arizona, a boy was recently stamped with the words "lunch money" after the school fed him even though his lunch account had run low, leaving the child humiliated.
From Friends to Straight-Up Enemies: A Taylor Swift and Katy Perry Timeline
Of all of Taylor Swift's friendships, feuds, and flames, perhaps the most infamous is her seemingly ongoing rift with Katy Perry. And the juiciest part is that neither of them has ever mentioned each other by name. While Taylor and Katy's friendship dates back to 2008 and all the drama started around 2012-2013, the feud actually wasn't on our radar until Taylor Swift mentioned it in her Rolling Stone interview, back in August 2014. Since then, we've been following the drama, which resurfaced when Katy dropped "Swish Swish" in May. Ready to take it all back to the beginning? We're inspecting every aspect of their relationship, from square one.
This Bride's Gorgeous, Sheer Wedding Gown Will Give You Major Heart Eyes
We were casually scrolling through Instagram when we spotted Isabel Roth's gorgeous wedding in Puglia, Italy. While the bride's picturesque wedding to Jake Stein was the stuff of dreams, it was her stunning wedding dress that really stole the show.
The gorgeous bride wore a sheer wedding dress by Lebanese designer Reem Acra that featured a high neckline and long, lace sleeves. The bottom of the dress was completely sheer, revealing a figure-hugging nude slip.
If you look closely, you'll notice that there's intricate beading within the floral lace designs. As for the finishing touches, the bride wore a delicate floral crown and matching sheer veil, making her the most luxurious kind of bohemian bride. Have a look at her incredible wedding dress ahead.
Dentist denied payment for Indigenous client to be repaid by government
Health Canada and Alberta Health have reached an agreement to reimburse Dr. Terry Lim for the two dental implants he provided for Summer Dawn White Eagle, a young First Nations woman born with a cleft palate.
37 Surreal Places to See the Clearest, Bluest Water on Earth
There's nothing more tantalizing than seeing a body of clear, blue water. Check out the most incredible oceans and lakes that you can visit and dive right into - they're calling your name!
5 Reasons Sisters Make the Best Entrepreneurial Duos
Some of the most successful teams - from creative partners to business colleagues to teams on The Amazing Race - have been sibling teams, and it's easy to figure out why: siblings are naturally competitive, they can freely provide feedback, they quickly move on from arguments, and they're each other's biggest cheerleaders. They've been teammates - for better or worse - since the very beginning of their lives.
Take the sisterly duo behind the jewelry brand Dannijo, Danielle and Jodie Snyder. Growing up together in Jacksonville, FL, they "worked" together to teach themselves wirework using their cardiologist father's medical tools. Reconnecting in New York after college, the two picked up their old hobby again, creating a capsule jewelry collection for Danielle's nonprofit, Live With a Lifelong Ambition, and then they officially launched Dannijo in 2008. Today, the jewelry pieces are designed and manufactured in NYC, and the packaging is hand made in Rwanda as part of a women's empowerment partnership with Indego Africa.
The sisters-turned-business partners clearly have similar values and share a vision for their company - to the point where you might not be able to tell where the brand ends and their relationship begins. We asked Danielle to tell us why she thinks business partnerships between sisters tend to flourish, so keep reading for her insights on why this this unique bond lends itself to business success.
See the First Photos of the Official Beauty and the Beast Makeup Collection
Wondering why there wasn't an official makeup collection centered around the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast? Us too. Disney caters to every detail when it comes to their theatrical releases, so we expected an announcement around the time the film was released, only to learn there wasn't anything in the works.
Sure, there was a limited-edition serum, (an unverified) full-range collection overseas, and even Beauty and the Beast-inspired brushes that weren't affiliated with the film. But the lack of authentic Belle-inspired makeup left something to be desired. Alice Through the Looking Glass had an official collaboration. As did the live-action Cinderella remake. This is arguably the most anticipated film of the year - so where is our Beauty and the Beast collection?
Perhaps Disney was testing our patience, much like the Beast's? It doesn't matter, because Lorac Los Angeles partnered with the House of Mouse on a limited-edition makeup collection, launching today! There's a 16-shade eye shadow palette, a cheek palette, and a lip gloss and lipstick collection. And you might shed a tear at how gorgeous everything is.
Scroll through the gallery to see all the products and to learn more about the inspiration behind them!
See The First Photos of the Official Beauty and the Beast Makeup Collection
Wondering why there wasn't an official makeup collection centered around the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast? Us too. Disney caters to every detail when it comes to their theatrical releases, so we expected an announcement around the time the film was released, only to learn there wasn't anything in the works.
Sure, there was a limited-edition serum, (an unverified) full-range collection overseas, and even Beauty and the Beast-inspired brushes that weren't affiliated with the film. But the lack of authentic Belle-inspired makeup left something to be desired. Alice Through the Looking Glass had an official collaboration. As did the live-action Cinderella remake. This is arguably the most anticipated film of the year - so where is our Beauty and the Beast collection?
Perhaps Disney was testing our patience, much like the Beasts? It doesn't matter, because Lorac Los Angeles partnered with the House of Mouse on a limited-edition makeup collection, launching today! There's a 16-shade eye shadow palette, a cheek palette, a lip gloss and lipstick collection. And you might shed a tear at how gorgeous everything is.
Scroll through the gallery to see all the products and to learn more about the inspiration behind them!
6 Rules to Follow When Downsizing Your Belongings
If you're a small-space dweller looking to downsize your belongings or if you're just motivated by the season to clean out your clutter, there are a few rules you should consider before you break out the garbage bags. We spoke to expert Jacquie Denny, co-founder of estate-sale website Everything But the House (EBTH). She has an in-depth knowledge of which home items to keep, toss, and resell, as well as how to do it. Check out her great tips for thoughtfully scaling back belongings ahead.
1. Toss Anything You Don't Use 80 Percent of the Time
You have to be ruthless when downsizing. "Stick to the basics," Jacquie recommends. She advises tossing all impulsive or experimental purchases, as well as getting rid of any pieces that are so specific that they're impractical, such as Christmas-themed poached egg cups you got in your stocking seven years ago and never seem to remember to use over the holidays. For the kitchen, Jacquie advises, "what pots, pans, and essentials do you cook with for 80 percent of your meals? Keep those and let go of the rest (i.e. no bread maker that you only use once a year)." Ultimately, less is more.
2. Don't Get a Storage Unit
"I tell everyone I work with that off-site storage is not your friend," says Jacquie. "Often people send things away to storage because they don't truly need them, but they are not ready to say goodbye." And if you've made the mistake of putting something in storage, Jacquie suggests you toss it after a year.
3. Differentiate Between Decoration and Clutter
The line between decor and clutter can get fuzzy - is that a stylish statue or a messy knickknack? - and Jacquie says it has a lot to do with each homeowner's personality. "My rule is that once a shelf gets too busy visually, you have too much. Multiples of an item tend to make it impossible to appreciate the aesthetic of any one thing." In short, if you see more decor than surface area, it's time to clear out.
4. Sell Items With Resale Potential
Now that you've set aside all nonessentials, take a look through what you're getting rid of. Jacquie says books, crystal vases, tableware, and baskets have potential resale value, as do decor vintage items. To gauge if something is trash or treasure, she says to check for a few things: "Is this piece signed by an artist or does it have a significant maker's mark on it? Is this piece one of a kind or is it from a limited-production run? Is this piece made of expensive metals (silver, gold, or platinum)? Is a book a first edition or illustrated by a notable artist?"
5. Sell Art With Value
What you can get money back on when it comes to art may surprise you. "Value in the art market can vary from region to region," says Jacquie. While decorative and mass-produced art doesn't hold up and should be donated, original pieces signed by the artist (even if you've never heard of the artist) consistently resell well, as do prints by first-rate artists like Picasso and Miró. She recommends checking out an online resource, like EBTH, with archives that give examples of what items are currently worth at market.
6. Keep What You Love
KonMari says to keep only the items that spark joy, but Jacquie says something even simpler: "My number-one rule is to always keep what you love. Nothing is worse than holding onto things that are mediocre!"
The Best Pajama Sets For Your Summer Share House
Weekend getaways with best friends are a fun way to bond with pals, and while you can get hotel rooms, it's much more advantageous to share a house together. So for your next jaunt out of town, don't pack your old gym t-shirt and baggy sweats as sleepwear. Try one of these sweet pajama sets for the ultimate sleepover memories. Pick your favorite combo and even give one to your friends.
The Life and Times of My Drag Queen Grandmother, Flawless Sabrina
I met my grandmother, Flawless Sabrina, when I was 18. It was 2001, and I had just moved to New York City from Syracuse. I went to the West Side Piers for Wigstock, a drag festival they had back then. I couldn't afford the $20 to get in and see the performance, so I hung out near the entrance and took pictures of some of the queens who were coming in and out. As Flawless Sabrina left, I took a picture of her, and she said to me, "You're on the wrong side of the camera, kid."
I hung that picture on my wall. Later, I continued to see her around in the club scene. She was always the oldest person in the club. She's now 77 and has lived in the same apartment in New York for 50 years.
In the pre-Stonewall days, Flawless Sabrina was incarcerated 100 times. She committed about 100 felonies for the crime of cross-dressing while she toured her drag contests around America from 1959 to 1969. She and her friends took that act from town to city to town, all across America from Appalachia to the Pacific Northwest. They would organize local talent to perform. In a grassroots effort coordinated by phone tree, advance people would go to the next city or town to hang out in the coffee shops, find out who the gossip queens were, and who could spread the word that the drag contest was coming to town. It was an underground network.
Those are the people that I look to in times like this: our elders who survived intolerably hostile environments and times. Many of the people I revere and look up to have been able to see around the corner. It seems trans folks have a long history of being seers in their communities.
Throughout history, we have been persecuted. Globally, we are persecuted. Nationally, we're persecuted. The stakes are always changing. And the stakes I have, as an American-born white trans woman, are very different from the stakes of my trans sisters who are undocumented and from Central America. The stakes are different for all of us, so it's essential that we look out for the more vulnerable members of our community. Pride this year is more important than it has ever been in my lifetime.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience.Flawless Sabrina would tell me stories about the way the queens used to treat each other or trans women. Sex workers in Central Park were throwing acid in each other's faces, or super-gluing bits of razor blades under their fingernails, so they could claw each other. We're a group of people who have not always had a good sense of community or sisterhood, a people who've been devoured by internalized shame.
We can't afford to attack each other any longer. It's divisive and cruel to single people out because their politics are different from ours. We're all fighting for the same things, respect and equality.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience that Flawless has shown. We need to nourish the sense of pride that catapulted the first brick at the Stonewall riots. We need to listen to our inner voices saying: "I'm worth more than this, and I'm willing to speak out and fight for it!"
As told to Ryan Roschke
Oreo O's Are Returning to Store Shelves After 10 Long Years!
Oreo O's haven't been on store shelves since 2007, but they're finally making a comeback! The iconic cookies and cream cereal from the '90s will hit store shelves again in June, a whole 10 years later. Originally launched in 1998 (with the throwback commercial to prove it), Oreo O's were hands down one of the best cereals for kids (and let's be honest, adults) in the early 2000s. The miniature, Oreo-flavored chocolate cereal will make a much-appreciated return, and it promises to be just as delicious as you remember.
A spokesperson said in a statement, "Fans of the iconic OREO O's cereal will find the product has stayed true to its roots, with OREO cookie bits and a crème coating combined to make the chocolaty, crunchy O's that can be enjoyed in a bowl with milk, or straight out of the box." You can use the Post brand store locator to find out which stores in your area are selling Oreo O's, including Walmart. Commence the freak-out as you discover it for yourself in the cereal aisle, and prepare to stock up!
How We Grieve
My breath catches. I scan the headline. Not again. I click the link and my computer screen flashes white momentarily. My face lights up briefly as the page transitions away, and in the space of a millisecond, I feel the tides of grief begin to surge up and lick at the walls of my heart. The new page loads and the headline glares out at me immediately: Gay Night Club Shooting. I feel far away and disoriented, my mind protecting itself in a haze of disbelief. Bad enough for another shooting to occur, but in a gay club, a safe haven for queer bodies and outcasts and others and beauty queens and punks and cool kids - now no longer a haven for queer bodies but a charnel house for them. My mind slowly returns to reality with the repeated metronome of a sound. It takes me moments to realize it is my own voice in a low monotone: "No . . . no . . . no . . . "
It is not usual and nothing will be normal again.The day passes in a haze. I almost hit a pair of joggers backing up my car and slam on the brakes. My hands grip the wheel; my knuckles strain against the thin skin of my fist, turning it into a skeletal claw, a sudden and unwelcome reminder of the mortality lurking the skin. How fragile the human body is, and how easy it is to break it and spill the secret contents, like the bodies now lining the rooms and hallways in Orlando. I picture a macabre still life of the interior lives of men and women, an embarrassing display of the utmost privacy made public - stop. I did not know these people. With the creak of stiff leather I peel my hands off the wheel.
I check my blind spots carefully and back up. Something clicks and gives a hitch somewhere in the internal mechanism of my car. It's as if even this machine is aware of the turbulence passing through the heartstrings of the world and struggles to function normally and as usual. It is not usual and nothing will be normal again.
Word begins circulating through social media by noon. Memorial service. Downtown. Six o'clock. We make our way there, drawn by an atavistic impulse to congregate, to hold one another, to make contact.
Yes, I am real. Yes, I feel you.
The lines of people flow in from every block, forming a mass of people in the park, sands of an hourglass being hopelessly poured in reverse, imploring time to go back, go back, just this once. It does not.
We stand under an old tree as part of the congregation. I hold my lover and feel him shiver in my arms. I feel a hand on my shoulder and it is my friend Gary, a consoling smile warm under his bushy beard. He enfolds me in his arms. All around us similar tableaus play out, lovers and friends and strangers reaching out and holding, caring, comforting. There there, it's time to cry. Grieve with me. The tears flow hot and unexpected: I did not know these people. I was not there. Why am I heartbroken. I do not understand.
By now, the extent of the horror is well known: 49 dead, 53 wounded. Words like "terrorist" and "hate crime" and "ISIS" are being thrown around. That is fine. Let the world take our tragedy and use it for its own purposes.
That is what the world has always done best with our culture. We are here for your entertainment. Let our tragedy make your lives better. But not now. Not in this moment, linked arm in arm with the men and women and intimates and strangers who are the nervous system of our community. Right now we grieve. The "massacre" that merely makes a scrolling tic in the news has torn a gaping wound in our collective hearts. But this is what WE do best: take care of each other. Feel each other's hearts and lives and souls, and cry when we hurt, and raise our voices when we succeed. There will be time for politics. This is a time for our family to grieve.
Putting in the Work: How I Discovered My Own Philosophy on Pride
I have to admit that, when I first started to glimpse the trans adult I was inevitably becoming, I was not optimistic. I was 25 and felt I had suffered through enough spells of self-reflection, alienation, and shame that came tethered to my sexuality. I realized I was on the threshold of doing the gender work I had avoided, and all I saw was the labor - a reality anyone with an identity has to navigate - and I couldn't see the joy of self-possession or all the beauty on the other side of that labor.
My wife and my therapist will recall how I paraphrased Franz Kafka - back in my paraphrasing Franz Kafka days - while avoiding meditating on my queer identity. Kafka's experience around his Jewish identity deserves its own essay, and needless to say, there's already a body of work about it. Rather than contextualize Kafka's logic, I'll just skip to his reflection: "What do I have in common with Jews? I hardly have anything in common with myself, and should stand very quietly in a corner, content that I can breathe." How the hell did I get from there to writing an essay about pride?
Seven very full years have passed and in that time, I've learned not to be afraid of having things in common with myself or with my community. In order to dismantle that fear, I started with the relationships that felt most private and nurturing: those with my partner and my therapist, and perhaps unsurprisingly, with writers. I had a queer partner, a trans therapist, and an abundance of books and essays as new intellectual reference points instead of Kafka. They revealed to me that I could, and actually should, do more with my one wild and precious life (in the words of Mary Oliver) than stand very quietly in a corner, simply content that I could breathe.
Dismantling that fear and seeking out a new definition of contentment, as much as it was labor, was relief. Whenever I feel intimidated by labor, I remind myself that labor leads to relief, and relief leads to intimacy - with yourself, with others - among many other things that feel a hell of a lot better than fear.
Not looking at, and worse, muting the truths and nuances of my own identity, limited my capacity to look at and celebrate the truths and nuances in others. I had an almost visceral reaction to folks who lived their truths and nuances. Once I started to make tender moves toward myself and my community, I got momentum. Plus, practicing tenderness toward others made it easier to practice it with myself, and vice versa. I think most of us find it more palatable to celebrate and be gentle with others over ourselves. Having both a gender and a sexuality are not the burdens they once felt like; that's something our heteronormative world does to isolate us from ourselves and ultimately from each other. My gender and my sexuality are what ground me in myself and in my relationships.
My relationships. This is where I always land. My relationships with folks of diverse genders and sexualities - relationships I once feared because of the mirrors they might (and indeed do) hold up - are what gave me the capacity to feel proud. When I was 25, I was convinced I had nothing in common with myself or my own people. Had I not learned to expand my narrative to actually include myself and my community in it, I can't say that I would've ever been content. Recently, I brought up my paraphrasing Kafka days to my partner, and she reminded me of the isolation I was mired in then. I had no sense of self to call mine, and no people to call my own.
Thankfully, when I was 27, I recognized the urgency of my isolation and made two moves to extract myself: first, I volunteered with SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT+ Elders) as a friendly visitor, and second, after reflecting on my own deeply-positive-but-flawed experience with a custom suit, I asked Daniel Friedman, the founder of Bindle & Keep, to apprentice me so I could learn to measure queer folks for custom suits.
In both these realms, my fear was quickly replaced by relief and relief was even more quickly replaced by intimacy. SAGE led me to Lee and Dick, a pair of gay men in their 80s who reminded me that we have always been here. They balanced their glorious stories of sunbathing nude on various New York City waterfronts long before their commercialization or development with devastating, necessary stories about surviving the AIDS crisis while losing an unfathomable number of their friends and lovers. Just by letting me into their home and letting me glimpse their beautiful decades-long friendship, Lee and Dick soothed something that had been lurking in me for a long time: my anxiety about what old age looks like for queer people. Shamefully, old age isn't something our culture likes to look at, but SAGE is the perfect gateway for those of us who are looking for ourselves in our elders. Whether they knew it or not, Lee and Dick showed me that not only do we have real, tangible histories, but that it's our birthright to have real, tangible futures.
Meanwhile, Bindle & Keep led me to hundreds of clients with all kinds of genders and sexualities; my queer tailoring universe is like the actual universe: it keeps expanding. When I first started out, I knew my clients and I were collaborating on designing garments, but I realized we were also collaborating on something much greater than clothes: designing a spectrum, and ultimately a culture, that was nuanced enough to not only include but affirm us. In 2013, when The New York Times published "The Masculine Mystique: Custom Suits to Make Transgender and Female Clients Feel Handsome," I felt proud of my clients for sharing their stories and themselves on a platform of that magnitude. But I also felt exposed: the article revealed that I had top surgery when it was not something I had mentioned in any public capacity or in my own social media, and there it was, in the paper of record. As I wrote, I think many of us find it more palatable to celebrate and be gentle with others over ourselves; similarly, I more readily felt pride on behalf of others before considering feeling it on behalf of myself.
What happened after that article was published, and after I was outed, transformed my relationship with pride. I got something like 100 emails from all kinds of LBGTQ+ folks thanking me for my work, and telling me they were proud of me. They were proud of me. That was when I really crossed over. One of those emails was from Chase Strangio, the ACLU lawyer who has advocated for all of us and fought alongside Gavin Grimm and Chelsea Manning. We hadn't even met before, but we had intimacy as two subjects described in the New York Times article, and another layer of intimacy as transmasculine folks.
I know pride is a charged and complicated thing to navigate; after all, it began as a riot, and nearly half a century later, we still live in a world that stubbornly maintains cultures and systems of oppression. What we cultivate - community and families, self-knowledge and resilience, our own cultures and systems - in the face of that is what brought me out of isolation. More importantly, it's what will lead to our collective liberation, and who wouldn't feel pride about that?
Why I'm More Determined Than Ever to Celebrate LGBTQ Pride Month
Here at POPSUGAR, we strive to create a diverse and inclusive company culture. We celebrate our differences and aim to depict the full breadth of the human experience, both inside the walls of our offices and in the content on our sites. This June, in tandem with LGBTQ Pride Month, we have launched an essay project to give voice to a community that has historically been silenced and marginalized.
I pitched this project in hopes of starting a larger conversation about what "pride" means in 2017. I wanted to tell as many stories as possible, to explore any and all points of view from individuals of all identities, genders, sexualities, races, ages, and backgrounds. My passion project quickly became a company-wide effort.
There is a remarkable power in that space and in all the others that sweep across the nation every June. It's that power that flowed into a single brick and ignited the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969.On a personal level, my journey with LGBTQ Pride Month has been tumultuous. Until very recently, I felt jaded about the concept as a whole. My first Gay Pride Parade was in 2009 in West Hollywood. The experience was intoxicating, that much is undeniable. I felt as though a space had been carved into the earth for me. Walking past the first metal barriers felt like passing through a membrane. On the other side, I was invincible and uninhibited. There is a remarkable power in that space and in all the others that sweep across the nation every June. It's that power that flowed into a single brick and ignited the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969.
Over the years, however, Pride lost its luster for me. I let my negative perceptions take over. I felt bothered by cisgender and heterosexual individuals who used this sacred space as a big party, where they could wear everything rainbow and get all shades of wasted. I sensed a shift in the way I perceived the celebration. My own Pride weekends became less about making myself visible and more about who I would make out with, what parties I would go to, and who had inexplicably excluded me from their plans.
On June 12, 2016, a monster walked into Orlando's Pulse nightclub and killed 49 innocent people. The next day was the Pride Parade in Los Angeles.
I felt numb. An outpouring of sorrow and rage on Facebook told me how to feel before I could thaw out of my own stupor. I did know one thing, though. I would f*cking go to Pride. I would be unapologetically gay, and I would not be scared. I knew I had a certain privilege in attending Pride in LA; this is a liberal city, and the police presence had been stepped up in light of the attack. I knew I was risking much less than my brothers and sisters who were being out and proud in the more conservative parts of the country, but it was important to me to be seen that day.
That catastrophic terror marked a huge cultural shift within the LGBTQ community. We came together, millions of people across the nation, to mourn. And when we were done mourning, we decided to stand up, dust off, and march on. I find great optimism in the resilience of my brothers and sisters. I have great faith in all members of this community; for every hurdle we encounter on this long road, we find the energy to leap over.
We are determined to exist.This year, POPSUGAR takes action. We celebrate every member of the LGBTQ community, and I hope this project helps illuminate that. I'm truly excited to share the collection of stories, essays, thoughts, beliefs, and declarations we've collected. Notable LGBTQ-identifying celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner, Brad Goreski, and Daniel Franzese share their experiences in the Hollywood spotlight. Representative Park Cannon speaks about bringing HIV awareness to the state of Georgia. Transgender men and women like Rae Tutera and Rain Valdez talk about their own struggles with visibility and identity. Zackary Drucker provides an unbelievable account of an icon named Flawless Sabrina. We're spotlighting nearly 50 different stories that all represent the same journey: to live an authentic, unbridled life.
We live in a world where horrific things keep happening. Chechen gay men are being thrown off of buildings, and transgender women of color are being murdered on the streets. But I find power in the waking nightmares my brothers and sisters have already survived. The AIDS epidemic, the fight for equality, the countless deaths and beatings and riots and protests, all because we are determined to exist. The purpose of this project is to prove exactly that.
There will always be hurdles to leap over, but I have faith that we will always find the energy to jump. I want to tell our stories, to inspire hope in other members of the LGBTQ+ community. I want us to remember where we've been and what we've survived. I want us to look forward to brighter times ahead. The goal here is directly in line with what the goal has always been. In the face of adversity, we get louder.
Pride Is the Antidote to Shame
I'm very proud of the things I have been able to accomplish in my life - from winning the Games, to raising a tremendous family, to eventually getting to the point where I could live my life authentically. It was a long struggle, but I finally got here.
I had to stay very quiet until the Diane Sawyer interview aired. The paparazzi were absolutely all over me wherever I went. If I left my house, I would have four or five cars following me and taking pictures. Between the Sawyer interview and the Vanity Fair shoot, I couldn't be seen out anywhere. I had to put privacy fences around the perimeter of my house, so the paparazzi couldn't invade my privacy while I walked from the house to the pool. I was literally stuck inside for months until the Vanity Fair piece came out and the barriers came down.
After coming out and transitioning, my life became much simpler. At this point I was proud; I had struggled for so long, my entire life, and it's such a good feeling not to carry the burden of secrets anymore. I can just wake up in the morning, be myself, and live my life.
We will not accept being on the margins of society anymore.
Pride is extremely important right now for our community. For the past 40 years, the gay community has struggled to gain acceptance, and a big part of that has been the issue of marriage equality. Finally, after years of court battles, marriage equality has been proudly achieved. The trans community is 30 years behind in our struggle, even though we are more visible now than we were 10 years ago. Nonetheless, we are still struggling. Over the past two years, I have met the most inspiring people in my trans community who have overcome tremendous obstacles, many of them without any of the resources that I was lucky to have.
Of the entire LGTBQ community, the "T" is the least funded of the group. Two years ago I wondered, "How can I use my position to help raise money for the cause?" Last year, I had a great association with MAC Cosmetics for the sale of a lipstick called "Finally Free," and 100 percent of the proceeds from the sales went to organizations serving the trans community. We granted $1.3 million to trans groups around the world. This year, I decided to start the Caitlyn Jenner Foundation to use my platform to raise money for underfunded organizations that are doing wonderful work on a shoestring budget.
In the trans community, we need to stand up together and be proud of who we are. We will not accept being on the margins of society anymore. We reject the shame that many still try to inflict on us. The antidote to that shame is our pride.
10 Hearty Breakfast Burrito Recipes That Will Leave You Feeling Ready to Take On the Day
If you love burritos and breakfast, chances are you're obsessed with breakfast burritos, too. With an entirely customizable combination of all your favorite morning foods - from eggs and meats (if you're a carnivore, that is) to veggies and starches - wrapped in a delicious tortilla, they're guaranteed to excite your taste buds and give you a long-lasting burst of energy. Bonus: you can even make a batch ahead of time and freeze it, creating the perfect on-the-go meal. Ready to dive into all the possibilities? Keep scrolling for 10 delicious recipes.
The 11 Things Every 20-Something Should Have in Her Wardrobe
The secret behind any impeccably dressed woman is a well-stocked closet. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can start crafting the perfect wardrobe right now.
In your 20s, that means shopping the essentials and investing in great basics - because, let's face it, you accumulated enough trendy tees, minidresses, and cutoffs in your college years. Now's the time to shop for the kind of denim you might just get away with at the office and a silky button-down you can wear well beyond your 9-to-5. You don't have to spend a ton, but definitely spend where it counts, and keep an eye out for the pieces you'll wear from season to season, year after year. Just consider this your 20-something starter wardrobe, and start shopping all the key items right here.
Support For Gay Marriage Is at an All Time High - But Are LGBTQ Rights Safe Under Trump?
Image Source: Getty / Alex Wong
"No longer may this liberty be denied," Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote in the June 2015 Supreme Court decision that asserted a constitutional right to same-sex marriage. After decades of activism on both sides of the issue, proponents of marriage equality won this battle in the culture war, and emotional celebrations erupted across the country. Finally, love won and same-sex couples had equal dignity in the eyes of the law.
The Supreme Court decision lines up with the mood of the country. Public support for gay marriage is at an all-time high, according to a new Gallup poll. Today, 64 percent of US adults say it should be recognized legally. In just 20 years, there's been a dramatic shift. In 1996 the number was flipped, with 69 percent of US adults saying same-sex marriages should not be legally valid.
The official GOP platform called for a constitutional amendment overturning the 2015 Supreme Court ruling.
The victory for marriage equality has ended an entrenched form of discrimination in America. Yet the platform adopted at the 2016 Republican National Convention shows that many in power would turn back the clock if given the chance. The official platform called for a constitutional amendment overturning the 2015 Supreme Court ruling, said adoption agencies, doctors, nurses, and other healthcare professionals should be able to deny services to LGBTQ citizens, and supported "gay conversion therapy." The choice of Mike Pence as Vice President - who rose to national prominence with his extreme anti-LGBTQ positions in Indiana - should also leave you wondering: are gay rights safe under the Trump Administration? Not completely. With Pride Month on the horizon, now is as good time to remind LGBTQ Americans and their allies that we must stay vigilant.
Image Source: Getty / Ty Wright
Same-Sex Marriage Is the Law for Now
Here's some good news. While President Trump has the power to appoint conservative federal judges, that might not be enough undermine the right to same-sex marriage quite yet. "Public support is important," explains David Cruz, a law professor at the University of Southern California. "US history suggests that courts interpreting the constitution - including the Supreme Court - do not deviate too dramatically from public opinion for prolonged periods of time." In other words, if public support for gay marriage is a given, there's a high chance the courts won't get in the way.
Given this reality, Cruz believes the right of same-sex couples to get married is not in immediate danger. The Supreme Court would have to overrule its previous precedent, which rarely happens. But Cruz says it could if Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the marriage equality decision, was to retire and be replaced by a strongly anti-LGBTQ judge. For now Neil Gorsuch's appointment to the Supreme Court by itself won't change things, since he replaced Justice Antonin Scalia, who dissented from the marriage ruling in the first place.
A constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman could also undo the 2015 Supreme Court decision. While it was proposed in the GOP platform, Cruz doesn't see it happening any time soon, either. It's not easy to amend the constitution - it requires two-thirds of each house of Congress and approval from three-fourths of the states. Such an effort was unsuccessful during the George W. Bush era, which Cruz calls the height of the gay marriage scare. So it would be harder today. Rather, politicians are likely posturing when they discuss an amendment, rather than proposing realistic policy. Considering this, it's likely imminent threats to LGBTQ rights will come in less explicit forms.
Religious Liberty Laws Are the New Battle Ground
Gay marriage rights may be settled law, but the fight isn't over. Legal experts like Cruz believe sweeping religious-exemption laws are a greater threat than court decisions. Many state religious exemption laws permit people, churches, nonprofits, and sometimes corporations to receive exemptions from laws that "burden" their religious beliefs. These types of law make it legally acceptable to discriminate against LGBTQ people.
These types of law make it legally acceptable to discriminate against LGBTQ people.
"Scores of bills have been introduced in state legislatures, and there's also the proposed federal so-called First Amendment Defense Act," Cruz explains. The latter would prohibit the federal government from taking action against any business or person that discriminates against LGBTQ people (and anyone who has sexual relations outside of marriage for that matter) for religious reasons. These types of "religious liberty" laws could also trump existing state and local laws that forbid discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. "Many of these bills are likely unconstitutional," Cruz notes, "but if passed, we'd need to see judges continue to stand up for separation of religion and government and for equal protection for LGBTQ people." And that's where the real threat of Trump comes in. Trump has the power to appoint judges from the Supreme Court on down to the federal trial judges who would be hearing these religious exemption cases.
Professor Tia Gaynor, who researches public administration at Marist College, agrees that LGBTQ Americans could be negatively impacted by a more socially conservative agenda under Republican leadership, even if same-sex marriage remains the law. She points to Trump's recent Executive Order Promoting Free Speech and Religious Liberty as laying the groundwork for what may come. While the order was largely symbolic, it signals how lawmakers might roll back protections for LGBTQ Americans under the guise of religious freedom. "Some may take these religious freedom protections to mean that they can discriminate against individuals who identify as LGBTQ without any repercussions. Even if there are consequences for these organizations, they are not immediate, where the trauma associated with being discriminated against is."
Some federal laws, like the Affordable Care Act, do have built-in provisions forbidding discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Yet agency staff and judges appointed by Trump could interpret those protections as narrowly as possible. And Congress could eliminate those regulations with an Affordable Care Act repeal law. LGBTQ Americans have long faced hurdles to getting fair and adequate health care, so turning back the protections of Obamacare could do real harm.
What You Can Do
Voting is the first step, especially in those off-year local races.
"The evolution of public opinion around marriage equality is very important toward maintaining rights for couples wishing to marry," Gaynor stresses. She says holding elected officials accountable is the most important role the public can play. Voting is the first step, especially in those off-year, low-profile state and local races. It's in local jurisdictions where religious liberty laws or "bathroom bills" are being passed. Gaynor says progress "requires the public to be aware of how local, state, and federal representatives vote and where they stand on issues critical to the LGBTQ community." She suggests interacting with representatives on a regular basis and believes that simply contacting them on social media is an effective way to hold them publicly accountable.
In the age of Trump, it can be exhausting to keep up your outrage and activism on a wide range of issues. But now isn't the time to assume politicians finally "get it" on LGBTQ rights. Gaynor sums it up: "The way I see it, as long as the public is largely silent, yet privately supportive, with or without laws, the discrimination and marginalization of the LGBTQ community will persist - and perhaps in this Trump Era grow." We can't let that happen.
Look Back at Marilyn Monroe's Iconic Glamour in These 19 Gorgeous Photos
June 1 marks what would have been Marilyn Monroe's 91st birthday, and the Hollywood legend would have also been in pretty impressive company - Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Bennett, and Mel Brooks are all celebrating the milestone this year, as is Hugh Hefner, who coincidentally helped Marilyn shoot to stardom when he featured her as Playboy's first-ever Playmate of the Month back in December 1953. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, Marilyn was placed in foster care at 7 years old and shuffled from family to family until agreeing to marry at the age of 16 so that she wouldn't have to return to an orphanage. She went on to transform herself from a soldier's wife and factory worker into Marilyn Monroe, a model and movie star.
Though Marilyn's life was cut short at the age of 36, the impact she left is undeniable. Not only does she live on in her films, but her iconic beauty, glamour, and body confidence have also inspired some of today's biggest stars, while also inadvertently serving as a tragic reminder of Hollywood's hidden pitfalls. In honor of Marilyn's lasting legacy, scroll through for some of her most gorgeous, memorable photos.
10 Hearty Breakfast Burrito Recipes That Will Leave You Feeling Ready to Take On the Day
If you love burritos and breakfast, chances are you're obsessed with breakfast burritos, too. With an entirely customizable combination of all your favorite morning foods - from eggs and meats (if you're a carnivore, that is) to veggies and starches - wrapped in a delicious tortilla, they're guaranteed to excite your taste buds and give you a long-lasting burst of energy. Bonus: you can even make a batch ahead of time and freeze it, creating the perfect on-the-go meal. Ready to dive into all the possibilities? Keep scrolling for 10 delicious recipes.
The Best Pajama Sets For Your Summer Share House
Weekend getaways with best friends are a fun way to bond with pals, and while you can get hotel rooms, it's much more advantageous to share a house together. So for your next jaunt out of town, don't pack your old gym t-shirt and baggy sweats as sleepwear. Try one of these sweet pajama sets for the ultimate sleepover memories. Pick your favorite combo and even give one to your friends.
The Life and Times of My Drag Queen Grandmother, Flawless Sabrina
I met my grandmother, Flawless Sabrina, when I was 18. It was 2001, and I had just moved to New York City from Syracuse. I went to the West Side Piers for Wigstock, a drag festival they had back then. I couldn't afford the $20 to get in and see the performance, so I hung out near the entrance and took pictures of some of the queens who were coming in and out. As Flawless Sabrina left, I took a picture of her, and she said to me, "You're on the wrong side of the camera, kid."
I hung that picture on my wall. Later, I continued to see her around in the club scene. She was always the oldest person in the club. She's now 77 and has lived in the same apartment in New York for 50 years.
In the pre-Stonewall days, Flawless Sabrina was incarcerated 100 times. She committed about 100 felonies for the crime of cross-dressing while she toured her drag contests around America from 1959 to 1969. She and her friends took that act from town to city to town, all across America from Appalachia to the Pacific Northwest. They would organize local talent to perform. In a grassroots effort coordinated by phone tree, advance people would go to the next city or town to hang out in the coffee shops, find out who the gossip queens were, and who could spread the word that the drag contest was coming to town. It was an underground network.
Those are the people that I look to in times like this: our elders who survived intolerably hostile environments and times. Many of the people I revere and look up to have been able to see around the corner. It seems trans folks have a long history of being seers in their communities.
Throughout history, we have been persecuted. Globally, we are persecuted. Nationally, we're persecuted. The stakes are always changing. And the stakes I have, as an American-born white trans woman, are very different from the stakes of my trans sisters who are undocumented and from Central America. The stakes are different for all of us, so it's essential that we look out for the more vulnerable members of our community. Pride this year is more important than it has ever been in my lifetime.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience.Flawless Sabrina would tell me stories about the way the queens used to treat each other or trans women. Sex workers in Central Park were throwing acid in each other's faces, or super-gluing bits of razor blades under their fingernails, so they could claw each other. We're a group of people who have not always had a good sense of community or sisterhood, a people who've been devoured by internalized shame.
We can't afford to attack each other any longer. It's divisive and cruel to single people out because their politics are different from ours. We're all fighting for the same things, respect and equality.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience that Flawless has shown. We need to nourish the sense of pride that catapulted the first brick at the Stonewall riots. We need to listen to our inner voices saying: "I'm worth more than this, and I'm willing to speak out and fight for it!"
As told to Ryan Roschke
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