Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
lundi 4 juin 2018
Comedian Cameron Esposito Is Ready to Share Her #MeToo Story
Can you name a famous, openly gay comic doing stand-up these days? OK, sure, there's Ellen DeGeneres (actually, not even her - she doesn't do stand-up anymore). How about somebody else? It's not so easy, is it? Enter Cameron Esposito, one of the hardest-working queer comics out there.
Esposito, 36, has made a name for herself for her blunt yet relatable delivery using her unique brand of humor (which often references her spouse, fellow comic Rhea Butcher). Having started in Chicago, she has since toured the country, appeared in Garry Marshall's Mother's Day, and cocreated the sitcom Take My Wife. Now, she's working on a book ("Why didn't anybody tell me that book writing is terrible?").
We spoke with Esposito about the state of comedy, queerness, and what drives her brand of humor. We also discussed the impact of the #MeToo movement on her and her work; for the last two months, she's been working her own experiences with sexual assault into her nationwide tour. "As a survivor of sexual assault, [it's] trying to talk about my own story, but also all of the things that were contributing factors that I think we need to discuss," she says. In fact, she recently announced a new comedy set called Rape Jokes, which will be released on June 11.
POPSUGAR: What has the perception of your new material been like?
Cameron Esposito: For this, it's hard to talk about. It's exhausting. It requires a lot of personal revelation and vulnerability, and then there's the part where I talk about what happened to me, and it's not funny. I don't think it should be funny. That's about two minutes. And then it's just quiet for two minutes, and I think that's right. I don't think people should be laughing for those two minutes. It's been a real challenge as a comic, to be on stage and know that people are interested and with me, but not laughing. It triggers that thing in you when you feel like you're bombing.
PS: What kind of reactions have you been getting after your shows?
CE: I've been doing it in these 50-person rooms or 100-person rooms. The biggest audience I did it in front of was Nashville, and that was 300 people. It's felt very intimate and cool. I don't know; I haven't really had an experience like this. Because the last couple of years, my audience has been more and more engaged and excited to have me in their city as they've become more familiar with me. I always have a pretty receptive audience. But this is different. People are coming up to me and telling me their stories or thanking me for my work, which does happen a lot as a queer person - because I'm so out with the community, people thank me a lot for that. But it's overwhelming because I'm just a person. I mean, I am trying to do something with my life - it's not an accident. But I don't really know how to receive genuine care from the audience.
PS: Sexual assault among queer people, particularly transgender queer people, is high, but sometimes can get lost within the #MeToo movement. What do you think we can do to have or start more of a conversation about queer sexual assault?
CE: One thing that is very cool [is that] my audience is lots of different types of people. For younger folks, especially, who are usually the demographic that makes up a live comedy show anyway, the buy-in for a queer artist is very different. Like, I started in mainstream rooms, mostly for straight audiences. Of course, there are hardcore lesbian couples in my audience who are like, "We have the same life." And I'm like, "Rad." That's very cool. But there are also a lot of younger folks where it means something different. There are folks who are politically active. They're looking for a comic who has a specific point of view. And that could be a lot of different types of people. For folks younger than us - I'm 36 - the community is very different. It's queer folks, and allies, and people who identify across many spectrums in a way that was very different when I was that age. And that's rad.
"I literally couldn't come out at school because I could get kicked out for being gay."
So I really think the thing I can do is tell my story, because the contributing factors that happened to me were that I was coming out on a Catholic college campus with no support. I literally couldn't come out at school because I could get kicked out for being gay. And I was falling in love with a woman for the first time, isolated, and really steeped in shame. I had no good information about my body and sexuality, like at all, because I didn't have proper sex ed. So when I think about who needs to continue this conversation, I think it's all of us. Going forward, I think the model of behavior should be just stepping into the light. Because more information is better. I'm not a transgender person, but I think my talking about it on stage allows someone else to take the torch and tell their story, especially in comedy.
PS: What's happening with Take My Wife?
CE: It's on Starz, it's on iTunes. It's really a testament to the fans, that it has popped up all those places. So thanks to all those folks who cared about it. Sometimes, I think, as queer folks, we want more content that accurately reflects our lives, and I will say that what I really encourage people to do is either spend your social capital by talking about the show online or spend your disposable income. When you invest that way in queer content, people notice that. It's actually the fans that are in charge.
PS: How do you live your Pride every day?
CE: I'm pretty invested in presentation to the world. I'm trying every day to continue to live more "me." I'm a Midwesterner, so Los Angeles was very overwhelming when I first moved out here. But I learned I'm not competing against Jennifer Lawrence for roles. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not, because I'm going to get hired as me. And that has been a huge surprise and something that I hope others get to feel in whatever industry they are in. What I'm trying to do is be out in the world and look queer. If I want to wear a leather jacket, I'll wear a leather jacket, because my boss doesn't care, because I'm the boss. And [I] show that to folks when I tour around. We are still shamed for how we look. [There's] the idea that being gay and looking queer is a problem. It's totally fine to present yourself how you want to be presented.
PS: A lot of people suffer from being judged by their queer appearance. What kind of pushback have you gotten?
CE: Have I been called slurs on the street? Absolutely. I have short hair now, and I'll occasionally get sir'd, and for some reason, that's a trigger from childhood where I felt shame for being a different kind of girl and now a different kind of woman. I also think there's huge societal pressure just to present in a way that conforms to normative beauty standards. But I find that I actually get a ton of positive feedback. A lot of times, cisgender straight dudes ask me about hair products, and it makes me feel good. Again, I hope that young queer folks who feel alone and maybe live somewhere more isolated, I hope that they occasionally read some of the nice comments on my Instagram. Because there are people who are here for how I look; therefore, there are people here for how you look.
PS: What advice would you give young queer people, perhaps young queer comedians, about how to live their Pride?
CE: Stand-up is a really easy answer to this. Stand-up needs honesty. There's nothing else going on in stand-up besides the comic is on stage trying to be honest. And so if anybody gives you pushback about sharing who you are, because we do live in this time of identity politics, don't let anybody tell you you're too gay, too queer, too much. Same thing for women; same thing for people of color. Get out there. Be honest.
Surprise! Laura Prepon and Ben Foster Are Married
Laura Prepon is officially married! The Orange Is the New Black star tied the knot with her fiancé, actor Ben Foster, and announced the news on her Instagram account on Sunday. "Just Married! Thank you for all the love and support. Wishing all of us the good stuff!" she captioned a photo from their special day. The adorable snap revealed the actress wore a sleeveless gown while her husband looked dapper in a shirt, vest, and pants, which he paired with a hat.
Laura and Ben were first linked after they were spotted out together in NYC in July 2016, but Laura actually met Ben when she was 18 through mutual friendships with her That '70s Show costars Danny Masterson and Ashton Kutcher. Ben was previously engaged to actress Robin Wright, whom he had an on-again, off-again romance with from 2012 until 2015.
In August 2017, the couple welcomed their first child, a baby girl named Ella, after confirming their engagement at the movie premiere of The Girl on the Train in October 2016. Congrats are in order for the newlyweds!
Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish Go Head to Head in the Hilarious Night School Trailer
Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish are two of the most popular comedians in Hollywood right now, so the fact they're costarring in Night School together kind of has us worried - we're not entirely sure we'll be able to handle it. Will our jaws eventually fall off from laughing so hard? Are we going to have a six-pack by the end of the movie from all the wheezing we're likely going to be doing? If the latest trailer is any indication, the answer to both of those questions is an emphatic yes. The comedy doesn't hit theaters until Sept. 28, but for now we've gotten another hilarious look at what's to come.
Night School follows Hart as a wildly successful salesman who eventually runs into trouble when an explosion at work leaves him out of a job. Unfortunately his prospects look slim since he dropped out of high school, so he decides to take night classes at the local high school - taught by Haddish's tough-as-nails instructor Kerry - along with a few other troublemakers in order to get his GED and then a better career. Watch the new trailer above!
Trailer 1:
Killing Eve Has Already Been Renewed For Season 2, So You Can Relax Now
It probably won't even take you until the end of the thrilling first episode of BBC America's Killing Eve to realize that it's your new TV obsession. After all, it has everything you could want in a spy thriller: Grey's Anatomy's Sandra Oh as a slightly spazzy (and absolutely brilliant) MI5 officer, a psychopathic assassin for her to hunt down (Doctor Foster's Jodie Comer), some seriously fantastic coats, and more than a few top-notch accents. Fortunately, we have good news: Killing Eve, which hails from the mind of Fleabag creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge, has already been renewed for season two.
"This show has the thunder of women on both sides of the chase in Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer and, importantly, behind the camera with the lavishly brilliant Phoebe Waller-Bridge," BBC America president Sarah Barnett said of the show's early renewal on April 5. "The early response to Killing Eve has been incredible - for that reason, as well as the fact that we wholeheartedly love this original, funny, thrillingly entertaining series, we are delighted to move ahead with a second season before we even premiere."
This means that Waller-Bridge could have season two on the air hopefully by the same time next year, which is excellent news considering we're already having trouble stomaching that cliffhanger.
New Couple Alert! Joshua Jackson and Alyssa Julya Smith Are Reportedly Dating
Joshua Jackson is giving love another try. The 39-year-old actor and former Dawson's Creek star is dating actress and TV host Alyssa Julya Smith, E! News reports. The news comes almost two years after Joshua and actress Diane Kruger called it quits on their 10-year relationship. Joshua and his new flame, Alyssa, have been dating for "several months now" and were spotted out on a date at Central Park in NYC recently.
The couple reportedly met in Los Angeles where Alyssa lives and have been keeping up a long-distance relationship. Joshua split his time between LA and NY during his stint in the Broadway play Children of a Lesser God, but according to the outlet, now that the play has wrapped, he plans to "be in Los Angeles more" to be closer to his lady.
Back in March 2017, the actor was spotted packing on the PDA with a mystery woman on a date in NYC. As for Joshua's ex, Diane, she has moved on as well. The 41-year-old has been dating The Walking Dead's Norman Reedus since 2016 and the couple recently announced they're expecting their first child.
Taylor Swift Delivers an Emotional Speech About Pride Month at Her Concert in Chicago
Image Source: Getty / John Shearer/TAS18
Taylor Swift is celebrating Pride Month with her fans. The 28-year-old singer, who is currently embarking on her Reputation stadium tour, made a stop in Chicago and gave a speech dedicated to members of the LGBTQ+ community. "It's very brave to be vulnerable about your feelings in any sense [and] in any situation, but it's even more brave to be honest about your feelings and who you love when you know that that might be met with adversity from society," she said while donning a rainbow dress.
Swift continued, "This is a month where I think we need to celebrate how far we've come, [but] we also need to acknowledge how far we still have left to go. I want to send my love and respect out to everybody who in their journey in their life hasn't felt comfortable enough to come out, and may you do that in your own time. And may we end up in a world where everyone can live and love fully, and no one has to be afraid to be vulnerable to say how they feel."
The Grammy winner then performed "Delicate," a song from her latest album, which has some fans interpreting the lyrics in a whole new way. Watch the heartfelt moment as it unfolded ahead.
June is Pride Month & @taylorswift13 gave a really great speech!! We've come so far, but we've still got a long way to go... #repTourChicago #PrideMonth pic.twitter.com/qNfXj9HcKV
- Lainey (@LaineyC94) June 3, 2018
Chrissy Teigen's Newborn Son Makes a Sleepy Appearance on Instagram, and We're in Love
There he is! Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's baby boy made another sleepy appearance on Instagram, and we can't get over how happy he looks. In the adorable snap, Miles Theodore, named after the famous African-American jazz trumpeter Miles Davis, cuddles up next to his mom as Chrissy looks on lovingly with a smile. The description alone is enough to make our hearts burst. Luckily, we have snapshots of the picture-perfect moment shared by the 32-year-old mom of two that are befitting a scrapbook. See them ahead, then check out big sister Luna's cutest photos that will make your heart swoon.
6 Fun Things You Can Do With Ice Cube Trays This Summer
Looking for some variety when it comes to your cold beverages and smoothies this Summer? One of the most overlooked kitchen utensils is hanging out on the top shelf of your freezer as we speak. Ice cube trays come in a variety of shapes and sizes, plus are inexpensive, and most recipes using them take less than five minutes to complete! Check out six unique and fun things you can do using only your ice cube tray and any size freezer.
How to Make a No-Bake Watermelon Cake, in Pictures
I don't even have a vent in my kitchen, so the thought of baking on a scorching Summer day is completely out of the question. Thankfully, there are ways to skirt around the oven issue, like with this no-bake watermelon cake. The catch is, there is no cake! A miniwatermelon, whipped cream, slivered almonds, and berries are all you need to create this Pinterest-worthy dessert for 12.
If You've Been Sleeping on Truly's Spiked & Sparkling Waters, Wake Up and Try the New Wild Berry Flavor
What on earth is better than playing a few rounds of cornhole on a Summer afternoon or hanging out by the pool with a drink in hand? Answer: nothing, in my opinion. And while I often find myself daydreaming of those lazy hours at the beach or BBQing in the backyard, settling on the perfect alcohol can pose a bit of a challenge. The solution? Cans of sparkling water. My latest obsession is Truly's Spiked & Sparkling Waters, especially the new Wild Berry flavor.
There's a lot to love about these refreshing cans of goodness. For starters, the slim cans come in party packs - hooray for convenience! - and at only 100 calories and one gram of sugar per can, they're a great option if you're trying not to overindulge. The low-cal, lightly flavored beverage has a five percent ABV per can and will become your go-to Summer drink.
While we totally love traditional bottles of beer, the inevitable belly bloat comes after a few. And whipping up refreshing cocktails sounds good at first, but committing to playing bartender full-time when you're just trying to relax isn't always the most attractive option. When it comes to Truly's flavors, you can choose from Raspberry & Lime, Blueberry & Acai, Pomegranate, or Wild Berry, the newest delicious addition. Each 12-pack will only set you back $15, so drink up!
11 Ingenious Pampered Chef Products That Will Make Cooking So Much Easier
Admittedly, I barely know how to cook. When I successfully make a delicious meal without burning myself or the food, I consider it an enormous accomplishment and send a proud photo to my parents and post it to Instagram for all to see. One brand that has helped me hone my food skills significantly, however, is Pampered Chef.
The brand was founded in 1980 with the aim of making cooking easier and more enjoyable, and so far I've been super impressed by the products. Each item is designed with what seems to be every possible use and solution in mind. The line features pans with removable handles (for easy storage!) that are dishwasher safe and gadgets that help to solve every kitchen problem imaginable. Thanks to the brand, my learning process has gone smoothly and hasn't resulted in any severe injuries yet.
You Have to See This Navajo Nation Tribal Park to Believe It
Even the casual traveler is familiar with US National Parks, but did you know Navajo Native Americans also run their own park system? The tribe's most famous is Monument Valley Navajo Tribal Park, located in Navajo Nation. Straddling Utah and Arizona, Monument Valley will take your breath away thanks to large rock formations rising out of the red earth. They resemble monuments placed there by ancient giants. For the past few centuries, Monument Valley has been part of the Navajo Nation reservation, which has a total of 200,000 Navajos living on it. But it also is the site of pre-American history, as the Ancestral Puebloans settled in the area around 1200 BC before leaving mysteriously 700 years ago.
If you're taking a road trip to Utah's well-known Mighty Five National Parks, seriously consider adding Monument Valley to your itinerary. While there, you can stay at either The View Hotel or Gouldings Lodge. I visited for two nights this Summer and highly recommend booking a local Navajo tour guide. For three hours, our guide, Harry Nez from Dineh Bekeyah Tour company, took us around in an SUV (the air conditioning was amazing) while pointing out significant sites and sharing more about Navajo traditions. During a break in the shade under an impressive rock formation, he even treated us to an improvised musical performance on his flute. I also appreciated a chance to hear about experiences on the reservation outside of what you see as a tourist, as Harry shared stories about modern Navajo family life as well insight into the tough employment situation.
A visit to Monument Valley is pretty low-key. There's little cell service and few restaurant options. Since the park is located on the semiautonomous reservation, you have to follow the tribe's laws, which includes no alcohol - at restaurants or in your hotel room. But a tasty Navajo taco or fry bread will distract you from the lack of booze. Take the opportunity to appreciate the vast desert and big sky. You may get the sense that you've landed on the set of a classic American Western, which is only natural since famed director John Ford filmed 10 movies in Monument Valley, including John Ford's 1939 breakout film Stagecoach. Need more inspiration? Here's a list of 10 reasons to add Monument Valley to your must-see list.
50 Cupcake Recipes, Because Sometimes More Is More
We'll always have a soft spot for cupcakes; they're cute, individually-portioned - because really, no one likes sharing - festive, and infinitely adaptable. Sure, you could hit up Sprinkles to get your fix, but why not bake your own? We've rounded up 50 stellar recipes ranging from the classics (Magnolia Bakery's vanilla, red velvet, and funfetti) to the super-creative (cotton candy, chocolate tahini, and honey lavender). Pin your favorites, and you'll be all set on the inspiration-front the next time a celebration rolls around.
Make Whipped Cream Without an Electric Mixer
Few desserts can't be improved with a dollop of billowy whipped cream - heck, for a simple no-cook dessert, serve a cloud of whipped cream with peak-season Summer berries. Our preferred method for beating air into cream involves a stand or hand mixer, as it lets the machine do the heavy lifting, but you can still make whipped cream even if an electrical aid isn't on hand.
Before you try one of these low-tech routes to whipped cream, keep these tips in mind:
- Chill everything: Cold cream transforms to fluffy peaks faster, so make sure to thoroughly chill the cream and any instruments involved, including the container it'll be whipped in and the tool you'll use to incorporate air.
- Sweeten the cream at the end: Wait to add flavorings until the cream has been whipped to the desired thickness. Sweeten it to taste with sugar, honey, maple syrup, or your sweetener of choice (or leave it unsweetened). This is also the time to gently fold in other flavors like vanilla extract, cardamom, rose water, or orange blossom water.
- With a whisk: Whisk cream in a large mixing bowl with the largest whisk you have - a balloon whisk is ideal as it will speed up the process, but any style will work.
- With a fork: Don't have a whisk? A fork can be substituted in a pinch! A fork incorporates less air than a whisk, so don't panic if it takes a while for peaks to form.
- With a mason jar: Fill a mason jar up to half full with cream, add a clean cork (from a bottle of white wine to avoid discoloration), then tightly twist on the lid and shake it aggressively until the cream reaches the desired thickness.
10 Delicious Trader Joe's Meal Hacks to Make Dinner Easy
How can you hack a delicious homemade meal in minutes without resorting to a frozen entree? We asked our editors to share their tips for fast, easy, and tasty dinners thrown together with a handful of Trader Joe's products, so you can become an even savvier cook on busy weeknights. With a combination of fresh and prepped ingredients from the affordable grocery brand, we've come up with some pretty ideal dinners that can easily be thrown together after work. From spruced-up soup to cheap chopped salad and spicy taco bowls, these ideas will inspire you to skip the takeout.
Geek Fashion You'll Want in Your Closet Immediately
The most incredible geek event we've ever attended? That would be the first-ever geek couture fashion show held in July during San Diego Comic-Con 2014. Fandom fashion retailer Her Universe called upon the galaxy's most stylish designers, both professional and amateur, to present their original, handmade creations on the runway. Consider it a preview of what to expect at this year's festival.
What we saw was not cosplay. Oh no, these gowns could have belonged on the pages of Vogue or at New York Fashion Week. As one of the designers put it: for those who aren't geeks, the clothing would just seem cute and unique, but for those who are geeks and can recognize the reference, the garment has a special twist.
Ultimately, the event was a competition, in which the winner will codesign a fashion collection exclusively for Hot Topic. But in all honesty, the winner was all fangirls, everywhere, who now live in a time where wearing a t-shirt to express fandom isn't the only option. Continue on for a ranking of our favorite geeky gowns from the Her Universe show!
-Additional reporting by Kelly Schwarze
Photos: Kelly Schwarze
25 Great Geek-Approved Desk Items
A boring, predictable desk simply won't do for a savvy geek. These 25 items are guaranteed to make the inner geek in you swoon. We've got just the right items for you, whether you are looking to organize your wires more efficiently, make your space ergonomically friendly, or add a little irreverence to your cubicle.
16 Texts Only a Best Friend Can Send
You and your BFF just get each other. That's why when you text them something random, like "Do you ever feel awkward when you wash zucchini?" they won't have to think twice before answering "OMG yes. Yes I do." In a universe full of strange, weird humans, you've found the one person you can be 100 percent honest with. Read on to see 15 hilarious texts that only a best friend can send.
Not Enough Free Space? What to Delete on Your iPhone
Our smartphones are the center of our digital universe, and they hold lots of data: text messages, photos, browsing history, etc. If your iPhone's storage is at capacity, then follow these simple steps to make room for more data.
Identify What's Taking Up the Most Space
Find out what your problem areas are before deciding what to delete.
- On the iPhone, head to Settings > General > Storage & iCloud Usage to view how many gigabytes you have available. Tap into "Manage Storage" and you'll see a lost of apps by how much storage they occupy - Photos & Camera is likely to be at the top of this list.
- On a Mac or PC, plug the iPhone into a computer and open iTunes to click on the phone icon and view storage broken down by Apps,TV Show, Music, Movies, Photos, and Other. Hover over one of these categories with your mouse to view details. "Other" represents settings, calendar events, notes, browser cache, email, email attachments, and more nonmedia data.
- If Other makes up an overwhelming amount of iPhone storage, then there may be an issue with corrupted data. If you've tried deleting all of our suggestions and there is still lots of Other storage, then consider restoring your iPhone.
- Make sure you have the latest version of iTunes, have backed up the device, and have synced content with your computer. Connect the iPhone to your computer, and in the Summary section under the phone icon, click on Restore iPhone. This returns the iPhone back to factory settings.
Delete Unnecessary Data
While this seems like a no-brainer, there may be some unlikely suspects on this list:
- Delete photos
- On the iPhone, do this in your camera roll. On the Mac, connect your iPhone and open Image Capture (default on all Apple computers). Select photos to delete, and select multiple images by holding down the command key while you click on the photos.
- Text messages
- Call history
- Voicemail
- Safari browsing history (Settings > Safari > Clear History and Website Data)
- Unused/outdated/redundant contacts
- Turn off app notifications
- Delete and reinstall email account to get rid of attachments cache
- Unused apps (long press any app icon on the homescreen and tap the "x" button on the top left of the icon)
- Completed reminders
- Books
- Movies
- Video
- Reduce locally stored music for "offline" listening in music streaming apps
Possible Preventative Solutions
Nip the full-memory problem in the bud next time around. Since photos are typically the biggest problem, download the Google Photos app, which compresses, backs up, and stores unlimited high-quality photos and videos for free, meaning you can delete them from your Camera Roll.
Reduce what is synced to your phone. Consider syncing selected playlists or genres rather than the entire music library, and deleting podcasts, movies, and TV shows after you've finished watching them.
Have a space-saving tip not listed here? Let us know in the comments!
18 Sex-Filled Films to Stream on Netflix
For when you want some good, clean onscreen lovin' that's not porn, I've found an array of sexy films available on Netflix. There are foreign flicks, romantic comedies, period pieces, and everything in between (the sheets) - perfect for solo watching or date night. So hop into bed with one of these steamy movies tonight!
Seriously Cute Harry Potter Gear That You Can Rock When It's Hot Outside
Because the Harry Potter series is set in chilly Britain and has many notable moments during the Winter season, most of the Potter-inspired merchandise on the market consists of sweaters, scarves, and long-sleeved garments. But what's a fangirl to do during Spring and Summer, when the weather outside turns warm? If you want to rep your fandom in every season, then you should say "accio!" to these tanks, dresses, and other warm-weather wardrobe finds. (We're sorry in advance for your Gringotts account.)
Geek Fashion You'll Want in Your Closet Immediately
The most incredible geek event we've ever attended? That would be the first-ever geek couture fashion show held in July during San Diego Comic-Con 2014. Fandom fashion retailer Her Universe called upon the galaxy's most stylish designers, both professional and amateur, to present their original, handmade creations on the runway. Consider it a preview of what to expect at this year's festival.
What we saw was not cosplay. Oh no, these gowns could have belonged on the pages of Vogue or at New York Fashion Week. As one of the designers put it: for those who aren't geeks, the clothing would just seem cute and unique, but for those who are geeks and can recognize the reference, the garment has a special twist.
Ultimately, the event was a competition, in which the winner will codesign a fashion collection exclusively for Hot Topic. But in all honesty, the winner was all fangirls, everywhere, who now live in a time where wearing a t-shirt to express fandom isn't the only option. Continue on for a ranking of our favorite geeky gowns from the Her Universe show!
-Additional reporting by Kelly Schwarze
Photos: Kelly Schwarze
25 Great Geek-Approved Desk Items
A boring, predictable desk simply won't do for a savvy geek. These 25 items are guaranteed to make the inner geek in you swoon. We've got just the right items for you, whether you are looking to organize your wires more efficiently, make your space ergonomically friendly, or add a little irreverence to your cubicle.
dimanche 3 juin 2018
Kayla Itsines Will Work You Out in 28 Minutes With This Killer Circuit
Kayla Itsines, trainer on the Sweat app, created this full-body circuit workout, using weights - dumbbells and kettlebells - that's guaranteed to get you sweaty. You're going to love it, and you'll love the results. Press play to see the exercises in each circuit, then read below for additional instruction and tips. Don't have weights? Check out this bodyweight workout created by Kayla. And, lucky for all of us, Kayla Itsines will be leading a real-time workout at POPSUGAR's Play/Ground event in NYC on June 9 and 10! Get your tickets here.
Workout Instructions
This full-body workout consists of two rounds of two circuits, each lasting seven minutes. Start by setting your timer for seven minutes and aim to complete the exercises in Circuit 1 as many times as you can before the timer goes off! Once completed, take a 30- to 60-second break. Reset your timer to seven minutes and complete Circuit 2 as many times as you can until your timer goes off. Repeat Circuits 1 and 2 for your full 28-minute workout! While you're aiming to complete each exercise as quickly as possible, it is important that you maintain proper technique throughout.
Circuit 1
Goblet Reverse Lunge: 20 reps (10 per side)
Negative Push-Up: 12 reps
Weighted Bent-Leg Jackknife: 15 reps
Ab Bike: 40 reps (20 per side)
Circuit 2
Weighted Sumo Squat: 12 reps
Bent-Over Reverse Fly: 15 reps
Lay-Down Push-Up: 12 reps
X Mountain Climber: 40 reps
Kayla's Exercise Cues
Goblet Reverse Lunge: 20 reps (10 per side)
Holding a kettlebell with both hands directly in front of your chest, plant both feet on the floor slightly further than shoulder width apart. This is your starting position. Carefully take a big step backward with your right foot. As you plant your right foot on the floor, bend both knees to approximately 90 degrees, ensuring that your weight is evenly distributed between both legs. When done correctly, your front knee will be aligned with your ankle and your back knee will be hovering just off the floor. Extend both knees and transfer your weight completely onto your left foot. Step your right foot forward to return to the starting position. Carefully take a big step backward with your left foot. As you plant your left foot on the floor, bend both knees to approximately 90 degrees, ensuring that your weight is evenly distributed between both legs. When done correctly, your front knee will be aligned with your ankle and your back knee will be hovering just off the floor. Extend both knees and transfer your weight completely onto your right foot. Step your left foot forward to return to the starting position. Continue alternating between right and left sides for the specified number of repetitions.
Negative Push-Up: 12 reps
Place both hands on the floor slightly further than shoulder width apart and both legs together behind you, resting on the balls of your feet. This is your starting position. Taking a full three seconds, bend your elbows, and lower your torso toward the floor until your arms form two 90-degree angles, ensuring that you maintain a straight back and stabilize through your abdominals. Taking one second, push through your chest and extend your arms to lift your body back into the starting position. Repeat for the specified number of repetitions.
Weighted Bent-Leg Jackknife:12 reps
Start by lying straight on your back on the floor, holding a dumbbell with both hands above your head. Engage your abdominal muscles by drawing your belly button in toward your spine. Keeping your feet together, contract your abdominal muscles and bend your legs to bring your knees in to your chest. At the same time, bring the dumbbell up toward your knees, slowly lifting your head, shoulder blades, and torso off of the floor. Briefly hold this position, and then slowly release the weight and your legs downward until they are both just slightly off of the floor. Repeat for the specified number of repetitions.
Ab Bike: 40 reps (20 per side)
Start by lying flat on your back on a yoga mat with your feet extended out in front of you. Bend your elbows to place your hands behind your earlobes. Gently raise both feet, your head, and your shoulder blades off of the floor. This is your starting position. At the same time, extend your left leg so that it is approximately 45 degrees from the floor and bring your right knee into your chest. Extend your right leg completely so that it is 45 degrees from the floor and bring your left knee into your chest. This creates a pedaling/bike-like motion. Once you have grasped this movement, incorporate a twist with your upper body. This can be achieved by meeting the knee with the opposite elbow. For example, as you bring the right knee into the chest, twist your upper body over to the right so that it can meet your left elbow. Continue alternating between left and right for the specified number of repetitions.
Weighted Sumo Squat: 12 reps
Holding a kettlebell between your legs directly in front of your body, plant both feet on the floor further than shoulder width apart. Point both feet slightly outward. Looking straight ahead, bend at both the hips and knees, ensuring that your knees point toward your toes. Continue bending your knees until your upper legs are parallel with the floor, ensuring that your back remains between 45 and 90 degrees of your hips. Push through your heels and extend your legs to return to a neutral standing position. Repeat for the specified number of repetitions.
Bent-Over Reverse Fly: 15 reps
Holding one dumbbell in each hand, plant both feet on the floor slightly further than shoulder width apart. Bend forward from the hips until a small amount of tension is felt in your hamstrings (back of your legs) before bending your knees slightly. Reposition the dumbbells so that they are together directly below your chest. This is your starting position. Keeping your arms slightly bent, gently raise the dumbbells outward and upward from below your chest until they reach shoulder height, as shown. Gently lower the dumbbells back down into starting position. Repeat for the specified number of repetitions.
Lay-Down Push-Up: 12 reps
Start by lying flat on your stomach, with arms extended out in front of you and both legs straight behind you. Position your toes in toward the floor, as shown. Bring your arms in toward your body and place your hands on the floor on either side of your chest. Push through your chest and extend your arms to lift your body back up into push-up position, resting on the balls of your feet. Ensure that you maintain a straight back and stabilize through your abdominal muscles. Slowly lower your body completely to the floor and extend your arms out in front of you. Repeat for the specified number of repetitions.
X Mountain Climber: 40 reps (20 per side)
Place both hands on the floor shoulder width apart and both feet together behind you, resting on the balls of your feet. This is your starting position. Keeping your left foot on the floor, bend your right knee and bring it into your chest and toward your left elbow. Extend your right leg and return to starting position. Keeping your right foot on the floor, bend your left knee and bring it into your chest and toward your right elbow. Extend your left leg and return to starting position. Continue alternating between right and left for the specified number of repetitions. Gradually increase your speed, ensuring that the leg that is moving does not touch the floor.
On Kayla: P.E Nation top, Adidas shorts, and Asics shoes
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Burn Major Calories With These Heart-Pumping Plyo Exercises
Never heard of plyometrics? The official definition might as well be "workout that makes you drip with sweat while your muscles burn," because that's just what these jumping moves do. And these heart-pumping moves burn serious calories.
Vegan, Paleo, and More: The Healthiest Desserts to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth
If you've got a serious sweet tooth but are determined not to let it ruin your healthy lifestyle, look no further. All of these sweet treats are healthier than their traditional counterparts, and many are nutritionally boosted with superfoods like chia seeds, flax, and blueberries. And don't you worry, lactose-intolerant, Paleo, vegan, and gluten-free friends - there are lots of treats for you, too. Take a look at all the cakes, cookies, ice cream, and bars that you'll want to try ASAP!
9 Sports Bras With Underwires - Because We're Sick of Holding Our Boobs While Running
If you're blessed with a larger bra size, chances are working out is a struggle. Finding a sports bra that prevents your breasts from flailing in the air and hitting you in the face while you run is a challenge, and you've probably come up with some interesting (and not totally effective) solutions for the issue. If you've tried everything from wearing a regular bra underneath a sports bra to wearing two sports bras at a time, it's time to invest in some sports bras with underwires.
We've found some stylish and supportive options, all from Amazon, so you can finally work out in peace.
Making Up For Lost Hours of Sleep Over the Weekend May Help You Live Longer, Study Says
Sleeping in when you need it isn't only a recommended form of self-care - science now says it could help extend your lifespan. According to a recent study conducted by Stockholm University's Stress Research Institute, those who don't get enough sleep during the week can actually make it up on the weekends and potentially live longer as a result.
The self-reported study looked at the mortality rates and patterns of 43,000-plus participants between 1997 and 2010. Over the course of those 13 years, 3,234 people died. Research found that those below the age of 65 who slept for an average of five hours or less on weekdays - and for a minimum of eight hours on weekends - had the same risk of death as participants who got six to seven hours of shuteye each night. But the key here was making up for lost hours of sleep.
Adults who averaged fewer than five hours during the week and didn't compensate for their lack of sleep didn't live as long as those who regularly snoozed seven hours per night. Additionally, participants who slept in on weekends showed to live just as long as those who got enough sleep during the week. So go ahead and snooze on your days off, minus the guilt. The study also concluded that people who slept at least eight hours each night enjoyed a 25 percent higher mortality rate than those who averaged six to seven hours of sleep.
Though another recent study suggested that night owls are more likely to die prematurely than early birds, this was mainly due to the correlation between late bedtimes and unhealthy habits.
As much as many of us view sleep as a burden, it's important to remember that getting a sufficient amount of shuteye on a regular basis is actually fundamental to good health. And, as we've now learned, to living longer.
Gluten-Free Girls, Rejoice! All These Delicious GF Desserts Are on Amazon!
Living a gluten-free lifestyle has its pros and cons. On the one hand, you probably feel so much better now that you've eliminated the foods you're allergic or intolerant to. But on the other, sometimes you just really want a cookie. Fear not! As a gluten-free girl myself, I can confirm that all these treats are so delicious, you won't even miss the flour. Plus, they're all available on Amazon, so there's no need to be a whiz in the kitchen. Just keep reading to shop our picks, and fair warning: they might make you hungry.
Shalee Lost 38 Pounds by Making This 1 Change to Her Diet and Following This Beachbody Program
After having three babies, Shalee Atkinson struggled with postpartum depression and had given up on taking care of herself. She knew that she needed to make a change in her life, not only for herself, but also for her kids. She came across Beachbody's 80-Day Obsession program. She took a leap of faith and followed the workouts and meal plan for 80 days. As a result, she lost 38 pounds and finally has enough energy to play with her children all day long. Continue reading to find out how this Beachbody program transformed Shalee's life.
POPSUGAR: What made you embark on your weight-loss journey?
Shalee Atkinson: My baby girl had just turned 1, and I took a look at myself and realized I weighed more and looked worse than I did right after giving birth to her a year earlier. I had struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety and had completely given up on taking care of myself. I was embarrassed to be seen in public, none of my clothes fit anymore, I couldn't keep up with my three young kids, and I was over it. Right at that time, Beachbody was getting ready to release a new program, 80-Day Obsession. I decided to take a chance and go for it, knowing that I had to make some drastic changes and improve my life, not only for my sake, but also for my family. They deserved a better version of me and I was so ready to give that to them.
PS: How much weight have you lost to date and how long did it take?
SA: I have lost 38 pounds in the last four months.
PS: What do you like about the 80-Day Obsession program?
The timed nutrition was a total game changer.
SA: Every workout was recorded live, so every single day you get something new. This made it fun and easier for me to stick with it. You just feel like you're part of the cast and in on all the inside jokes. It was fun to feel like you were a part of it and be able to get to know the cast. The timed nutrition was a total game changer for me as well. Before I started the program, I was eating out, binge-eating like crazy, and consuming so much sugar and Dr Pepper every single day. I had never done anything like this program, so it was a little overwhelming at first. I had an amazing coach that encouraged me and was a part of an incredible Facebook group full of Beachbody coaches, as well as Autumn Calabrese, the creator of the program. That group was so helpful to me throughout my journey.
PS: What does a typical day of eating look like for you?
SA: 80-Day Obsession uses a container system. Each food group has a specific container. They are different sizes and the purpose of these containers is to teach you the proper portions of each food you should be consuming daily. Based on the meal plan, a typical day of eating looks like this:
- Pre-workout meal: I typically do chopped peppers, kale or spinach, chopped onions, two eggs, and a small whole wheat tortilla. I also take my pre-workout supplement at this time.
- Post-workout shake: I like to blend half of a banana or some frozen strawberries with my chocolate recover supplement.
- Post-workout meal: For this meal, I like to have leftovers from the night before. I rotate between my favorite fixate recipes (from Beachbody): turkey sloppy joes and lemon garlic chicken and asparagus.
- Meal option 1: chocolate Shakeology shake with half of a banana and almond milk.
- Meal option 2: steamed broccoli or zucchini topped with melted cheese and a side of fruit (berries, banana, etc.) is my go-to for this meal.
- Meal option 3: I switch this up every night, but generally I stick to my favorite fixate recipes. A quick and easy recipe I love is ground turkey, chopped veggies (green peppers, onions, mushrooms, etc.), chopped sweet potatoes, olive oil, and sunflower seeds on the side.
PS: Does your diet change on the days you workout?
SA: I work out six days a week with this program. Sundays are my rest days, and the meal plan is slightly different on those days. I still follow timed nutrition - I just get to switch up the order of my meals a little bit.
PS: Do you count calories? Why or why not?
SA: I don't count calories. The meal plan that goes along with 80-Day Obsession has a formula that tells which meal plan you fit into. Each plan tells you exactly how many color-coded containers you should be eating every day and when you should be eating. The containers are a simple way of measuring out your proper portions and counting macros. Timed nutrition helps ensure you are eating the right amounts of protein, carbs, veggies, fruits, and healthy fats, which helps reduce cravings and keep your energy up.
PS: What are some nonscale victories you've experienced?
I have so much more confidence and am no longer ashamed or scared to be seen in public.
SA: I have so much more energy! It feels so good to be able to chase after my babies and play with them all day long. I am able to fit into clothes I never thought I would be able to wear again. I have so much more confidence and am no longer ashamed or scared to be seen in public. My favorite thing about completing this program, though, is being an inspiration to people around me. I have had so many friends and complete strangers reach out to me since sharing my transformation pictures online. Everyone has been so amazing and supportive! It makes me so happy to see my friends making the decision to improve their health and as a result become happier and confident!
PS: What has been the most challenging aspect about your weight-loss journey? How did you overcome it?
SA: My biggest struggle was sticking to the meal plan. I have always been an emotional eater and really struggled with sweets in particular. I did have a few small cheat meals or treats during the program. I was shocked at how awful it made me feel anytime I did, though. That's literally all I ate before, and now I feel terrible after eating any kind of junk food. Looking back at my before pictures and seeing how far I had come really helped me stick with it and stay strong. Another thing that really helped me was the community I was a part of through social media. It was incredible how supportive and encouraging they all were to each other.
PS: What's your next fitness goal?
SA: I am currently completing another round of 80 Day Obsession. I have loved it so much and wanted to push hard for another round to lean out even more and get more defined muscles. I'm considering doing some competitions. That's something I have always wanted to do, but didn't believe in myself or think I would be disciplined enough to do it.
PS: Do you have any advice or tips for people on their own journey?
SA: Don't give up! Your health is so important. Take action now! Avoid putting things off until tomorrow or next week. Getting started is the hardest part. Be sure to recognize all your hard work and give yourself credit. Sometimes your results may seem small, but celebrate them anyway! Avoid weighing yourself every day. Try to measure your success based on how you are feeling or how your clothes are fitting. Be sure to take measurements and progress pictures regularly. It can be hard to see the changes happening in your body sometimes, so it's super helpful to have pictures and measurements to look back on and see just how far you've come!
14 Everyday Struggles of Bilingual People
I speak 2.5 languages. I'm fluent in Spanish (my birth language) and English, and I know enough Italian to help a lost tourist on the subway. Though being able to communicate in more than one tongue has its serious benefits - there are more jobs available to me, I have an easier time when traveling abroad, some studies even say we're smarter (tooting my own horn here) - there are struggles. Boy, are there struggles.
More than once, I have spoken Spanish to someone who has no idea what I'm saying, and words have come out of my mouth in a total jumble of Spanglish that not even I understand. Minor issues, sure, but if you're bilingual, you know it doesn't end there. Keep reading for a list of the everyday situations you probably also face - bilinguals, unite!
Demi Lovato Is NOT Sorry About Looking This Damn Hot in Her Sexy Swimsuits
Demi Lovato loves to show off her curves in a sexy swimsuit - can you really blame her? The talented singer clearly has a knack for finding the most flattering bikinis and one-pieces. If you don't believe us, just take a look at her Instagram account.
Demi constantly showers her 67 million Instagram followers with a bevy of sultry swimsuit posts. Whether she's kicking it old school in a retro Lisa Marie Fernandez bikini or showing off her, um, best assets in a scandalous thong one-piece at Coachella, Demi certainly know how to pick 'em. Read on to see our favorite swimsuit moments, and try not to drool.
If You Prefer Selena Gomez's Red Carpet Looks, You Haven't Seen Her Street Style
Since her Revival album launched in 2015, Selena Gomez's style has done a complete 180. The 25-year-old star's fashion choices got grownup and sexier - a little more designer, a little less jeans and Converse. And though it's been on the red carpet that Selena has impressed us the most - with pieces like the Coach gown she wore to the Met Gala and the sequin cutout mermaid gown from Calvin Klein at the 2016 Grammys - that doesn't mean that her street style hasn't been stunning, too.
Ahead you'll find 30 of those street style moments that left us believing Selena is truly a fashion queen! From stilettos with a curve-hugging silk dress to flare jeans with a long overcoat to even PJs with heels, Selena can wear it all.
- Additional reporting by Alessandra Foresto
The 7 Main Causes of Divorce
Nobody, hopefully, enters into a marriage with a person thinking they are going to one day deal with a divorce. Even if there are problems in the relationship, a couple hope that after walking down the aisle, smooching hello to the promise of a life together, and getting down on the dance floor, their relationship with fall into place. But it doesn't always happen like that.
Life gets in the way and relationships get tangled, leaving between 40 to 50 percent of couples in the United States opting for divorce. So is there a way to see if your relationship is divorce-proof? Probably not. But there are signs to look for to see if your relationship might be heading down that path. Here are the most popular reasons married couples split up.
1. Issues Regarding Sex
Things may have been stale, or nonexistent, in the bedroom for quite some time. But while both of you have turned a blind eye to that, there might be more destruction happening to your relationship than you think.
"It's no secret that couples begin to feel doomed and start talking about divorce when their sex lives change," said Shannon Kalberg, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist and an adjunct clinical professor at Pepperdine University. "What many couples and individuals miss is that a couple's sex life needs to be worked at over time and that desire can be fickle, especially since desire has the tendency to ebb and flow in a long-term marriage. However, a mismatch in libido, shaming the other partner for their sexual fantasies, and negative values about sex can lead to divorce."
2. Fighting Dirty
All couples have their arguments, and while that's not always something to worry about, the way the couple argue might be a sign that divorce is imminent.
"In a couple's session, I encourage them to bring up an issue that they often have disagreements about," Kalberg said. "I do this because it gives me a sense of how couples argue, communicate, and problem solve. If a couple does not attempt to regulate emotions or validate each other during arguments, then the escalation in anger and tension can ruin a marriage. This can look like blaming, name calling, and shaming. It will build resentment and create a power imbalance that loses sight of what really matters in a relationship: trust and safety in times of distress."
3. Trying to "Fix" Each Other
Growing apart from the person you married or just no longer getting a kick out of their bad habits or frustrating ways is another main reason couples want to call it quits.
"I can't tell you how many times I have had an intake with a potential client who states that they want to begin couples therapy in order to 'fix' their partner," Kalberg said. "This can be a huge predictor to divorce because what that person fails to understand is their own responsibility in the relationship. By placing the blame entirely on the other person and refusing to examine your own actions, it will cause a large emotional block between the two partners. If this continues, then over time they will begin to emotionally isolate themselves, which could lead to other issues, like infidelity."
4. Lack of Commitment
When life gets in the way of love and you feel like you're growing apart from your spouse, it's important to take a step back and prioritize. Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist and marriage counselor in Boulder, CO, says that both spouses want to feel like they are equally working at the marriage. "Therefore, if one partner starts feeling like they are the main one working at the relationship, they'll eventually get burned out and want out of the relationship," Dr. Fisher said.
5. Infidelity
If you find out your partner has strayed from the relationship and cheated on you, it may be really hard to salvage the relationship afterward. "Infidelity is one of the quickest ways to break trust in marriage cross-culturally, and many couples are unable to recover from it, especially if the betraying spouse doesn't take true ownership for their behavior," Dr. Fisher said.
6. Lack of Appreciation
A thank you goes a long way in a relationship, even if you have been with your partner for years. Without it, Robin Graine, a divorce mediator and former family law attorney, says the relationship can be at risk. "Everyone feels that they are working hard, contributing money, and doing their best to raise the children and keep the household running," Graine said. "When the mom doesn't appreciate the dad making the money and dad doesn't appreciate the mom paying attention to all of the details, everyone is resentful."
7. No One Is Paying Attention
Good communication is always the best foundation for any relationship, but so is making sure you are listening to your spouse. "When married couples stop listening to one another and paying attention to each other's needs and desires, they wind up in my office," Graine said.
Pink's 7-Year-Old Daughter Willow Dyed Her Hair Purple Because She's "More Punk" Than You
Pink and Carey Hart's daughter Willow recently dyed her hair purple! Sure, we already know Willow is quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with in the beauty world, thanks to her adorable makeup tutorials, but her bold new hairstyle is on a whole 'nother level. It appears that she got her locks dyed shortly before turning 7 years old, and although many parents are divisively torn as to whether it's appropriate to let children dye their hair, we appreciate how Pink is letting her daughter explore her creativity.
Hart, too, seemed positively proud of her new look when he called her "his daughter Wednesday Addams" in an Instagram post. "My daughter is more punk than yours," he wrote as a hashtag in the caption. (Hey, perhaps she let her dad return the favor for the new hairstyle she gave him!)
Willow definitely looks so cool with her new hairstyle, and it reminds us of her mom's early days in music. We won't ever forget Pink's pink hair - and now, Willow's new locks are equally unforgettable! Read on to see all the ways Willow's parents have documented her new 'do.
20 Simple Ways to Be a Better Mom in 2018
The pressures of modern parenting are enough to drive any mom to insanity, but if you take a step back and really look at your life as a parent, your kids don't need as much from you as you think they do. Not much has changed since you were a kid yourself, begging your mom to look at the Lego structure you spent hours building - kids just want to spend time with their parents and feel their love. It's easy to get distracted by our phones and busy schedules and to spend too much time comparing ourselves to the polished moms we see on social media, but the truth is, being a great mom isn't about how good the little square photos on our Instagram profiles look, it's about the connections we make with our kids and the things we do that will stick with them for a lifetime.
We're here to remind you that you're already a great mom, but if you're looking for ways to be a better parent in 2018, here are 20 simple things you can do to achieve your highest supermom status in the coming year.
15 Books That Will Teach Your Kids About Empathy
Teaching children to grow up to become empathetic adults is probably one of the more important responsibilities of being a parent. And it's even more vital now than ever before due to the unfiltered exposure kids have to things like hate speech, intolerance, and bigotry. Children are like sponges, and in order for them to learn how to become compassionate and understanding human beings, it's essential to nurture their sense of kindness.
A recent study found that college students were 40 percent less empathetic than their counterparts 30 years ago even though social media has made it increasingly easier to connect with others. This, along with an increase in levels of narcissism, makes for an alarming change in the personality traits of younger generations. One of the best ways to teach your child empathy early is through books they will actually enjoy. Keep reading for 15 books that will help your child learn about walking in someone else's shoes.
10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner
Parenting can be hard. Between sleep deprivation, temper tantrums, and strong-willed personalities, it's not always easy to know what to do. Our partners in this parenting journey deserve to be treated with respect and trust, even through fits of anger. There are a few things that under no uncertain circumstances should you say to your coparent, even if you really, REALLY want to. Your relationship, and your kids, will be better off if you avoid these 10 harsh phrases altogether.
The 7 Words My Kids Hear Every Night Before Bed
My kids mess up. We apologize, forgive, and together decide what to do differently the next time. But then, we move on. I made a conscious choice a few years ago not to belabor their shortcomings.
Here's why.
Our kids have so many masters. Add to that a child who is incredibly eager to please, and even I am exhausted thinking about a goal of daily perfection with countless peers, teachers, coaches, parents, grandparents, and more. My eldest daughter is that kid; a capital P pleaser. (It takes one to know one.)
I wish I could fast forward her to where I am now - with a very small handful of people whose opinions matter to me - beyond one that's divine and those living under my roof. It is my and my husband's job to help her get there, but realistically, the urge to impress is likely to increase before it wanes.
When she was 7 years old, I started to notice a recurring theme at bedtime, one of worry, a fear of failing and falling short of expectations. She suddenly used the words "overwhelmed" and "scared" a lot and seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders. My heart sank at the familiar feeling.
First, I was angry that she had such an intense need to please at such a young age. But then, I was the same way, especially with my parents. I remember falling asleep on nights after I had disappointed them or we'd exchanged harsh words, wondering if they'd be proud to call me their own.
Every night, I tell her in seven simple words: I am proud to be your mom.
Funny that unconditional love, which was never in question, alone was not enough. I wanted their approval too. This flashback inspired a habit I hoped would help my daughter turn off and truly rest. Every night, I tell her in seven simple words: I am proud to be your mom.
Behind the words is a silent mantra. It varies but generally includes these musings: The day is done. Flaws are expected. Mistakes teach us. The score is settled. The details don't matter. You are forgiven. You are loved. You are mine. And every single night, despite hard stuff, my head hits the pillow with immeasurable gratitude that I get to be yours.
I say the seven words to all three of my kids, but it was my eldest who made me realize it was necessary.
If I'm honest, 17 years into a career, 12 into a marriage, and nine into parenting my own children, there are still few things that give me the same zing of encouragement or punch of deflation than my parents' response to me or my choices. I don't know if one ever outgrows that. As a teenager, I occasionally heard my grandmother criticize my mom and imagined how much it must've hurt.
I'd like my kids to care less what others think, and we talk about it a lot in our house. But while we navigate that together, I never want them to question where they stand with me. My hope is that our routine bedtime exchange will remind them, no matter how many not-so-awesome choices they made or how harshly I reacted when they poorly handled a situation with a friend, disrespected an adult, or even lost an article of clothing (AGAIN), they have my unconditional love and no-strings-attached approval. Maybe, just maybe, it will make them less likely to overdo it when it comes to seeking approval from others.
One night, about a year after I started using the seven words, I heard a "Hey Mom!" in the darkness and paused pulling the door shut just in time to catch a sweet third-grade voice saying, "I'm proud to be your daughter, too!"
"Thanks, honey!" was all I could muster before I feared she would detect the ugly, happy cry brewing.
Now, on days when I feel like I am failing at this parenting thing, that memory reassures me. And I can rest better too.
Tea Drinkers, You'll Love This Elephant Mug (on Amazon!) For Its Handy Little Bag Holder
If you're addicted to sipping on a hot cup of tea every day, we have the perfect product for you. This cute Elephant Mug ($30) is available on Amazon Prime and the design is genius. The little elephant head acts as a compartment for your tea bag. That way, when you're done brewing, you don't have to get up to throw the bag away. It's a lazy person's dream come true.
The mug itself is made with a speckled glaze and a satin finish. It's both microwave and dishwasher safe, so it's quite easy to use over and over again. This would be an adorable gift - who else wants this mug? You better buy it before it sells out!
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