Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
vendredi 26 octobre 2018
I Didn't Want a Third Child - Then I Got Unexpectedly Pregnant
Impossible. That was the only word I could muster when the stick flashed "PREGNANT" before my eyes.
After a few moments of standing frozen in time, I fell to the floor and cried. But not tears of joy. Instead, I was overcome with emotions of fear, confusion, and dare I say it, anger.
You see, I was not planning on getting pregnant. With a 6-year-old girl and a 6-month-old boy, my family was complete. I knew my husband wanted a third and was willing to table the discussion for the time being. But in my mind, that discussion was never going to happen. We'd been through a lot in the past six months - challenges that tested our parenting, our marriage, and our financial security. In no way did I think adding a third human being to the fold would do anything but cause additional problems.
To say the pregnancy was a shock was an understatement.
To say the pregnancy was a shock was an understatement. I got pregnant with my oldest daughter with barely any effort, but I struggled to have our second. Two years, three miscarriages, and infertility specialists left both my husband and me emotionally bruised.
Although we were thrilled to bring a second child into our family, his arrival threw our world off balance. He had colic, wouldn't sleep, didn't take to breastfeeding, and was an overall difficult infant. I struggled with the baby blues, often snapping at my older daughter for no reason or wishing someone would just take the baby away from me.
My husband and I were tired, leading to fights in the middle of the night over what to do to calm the baby down. We'd fight over email about what time he'd be home from the office and fight over text about how we'd pay for daycare once I went back to work. Then, we'd fight about our fight the night before. It was a hurricane of arguments and emotions that spun around me for months.
But it got better. The baby started sleeping, I went back to work and reclaimed my professional footing. The train - which had veered off track - was finding its way back. My husband and I took a long weekend away together.
And then that pregnancy test.
I called my husband to break the news. After a pregnant pause (pun intended), he managed to stammer a nervous, "Umm . . . congratulations . . . ?" He then explained how a third child, though unexpected, would round out our family. I cursed him, thinking he had somehow done this purposefully.
For two months following, I experienced almost every emotion possible. At first I was in denial. Other than my traitorous husband, I didn't tell anyone I was expecting. I didn't schedule a doctor's appointment, and I continued about my life as if nothing had changed.
I was angry. Angry at God who was obviously playing a cruel joke on me, and angry at my husband for getting me pregnant.
My anger turned to guilt. I had more than a few friends struggling with infertility - I've helped give them their shots and cried with them after countless disappointments. I was guilty that I was the one who was pregnant, not them. And I was guilty for feeling angry about something that I knew deep down was such a miracle.
I wish I could say there was one moment where the skies opened and I felt joy or peace about the impending birth.
I wish I could say there was one moment where the skies opened and I felt joy or peace about the impending birth. To be honest, I was mostly afraid. I was scared that another child would destroy my marriage or deprive my other children of the love they needed from me. I was afraid I could not be a mom, much less a good one, to three kids.
Eight months after I sat in a puddle of tears on my kitchen floor, my third child, and second daughter, arrived. Nine beautiful pounds of squishy perfection. I won't lie and say it's been all rainbows and sunshine, but I will say that I truly believe I was meant to be a mother of three. It may not have been my plan, but it was the plan for me.
My youngest daughter brings a source of light and joy to our home that I've never seen before. Watching my son - now almost 2 - try to tickle her feet, feed her a bottle, or bring her a blanket melts my heart every single time. Witnessing my oldest daughter take on such a leadership role in the house has been remarkable.
My marriage is stronger, too. My husband and I have learned to come together as a team, communicate better, be honest with our feelings, and share in the brief moments of silence in our house after all the kids are asleep and we can just be.
I think back to that day - the positive pregnancy test day - often. I don't regret my initial emotions. They were real. And while I will never shy away from saying that my third was unplanned, I now know she was always wanted.
"Fall" in Love With These Cozy Autumn Pregnancy Announcement Ideas
Whether you're announcing that you're pregnant in the Fall or are planning on welcoming a baby during the season, there are so many ways to share your joy with friends and family. From photos with foliage backdrops and a million and one uses for pumpkins (seriously, so many pumpkins), we've rounded up some of the cutest and most creative ways to announce your pregnancy in Autumn.
You Absolutely Shouldn't Have to Get a Gift For a Baby Shower You Can't Attend
As a woman in her early 30s with a child of my own, it's no surprise that between my friends and family, I get a lot of baby shower invitations (right now, it's about one shower per month). The onslaught of wedding invitations from a couple of years ago has thankfully quieted down, and in their place are invitations to celebrate little bundles of joy. Even though I'm so happy for all my friends and family who are expanding their families, I can't make it to every shower. And if I can't make it, I don't think it should be mandatory to buy a gift.
I'm in no way saying that a person who misses a shower can't bring a gift at a later date or send the happy couple one if they wish. If you can and want to buy a gift, that's wonderful! I just mean that you should be under no obligation to do so if you RSVPd no and didn't attend the actual party. If I don't make it to a wedding, I don't feel forced to still buy something off the registry. Baby showers, birthday parties, and other celebrations should be the same.
People decide to abstain from events for a variety of reasons, and cost may be one of them. It's fully possible that someone might be genuinely happy that their friend or coworker is pregnant, but they're financially unable to provide a gift. Clearly, the point of a shower is to "shower" them with presents and well-wishes, and if a person can't afford the present, it makes sense that they wouldn't attend the function. Why, then, would it be a societal expectation that they should still have to shell out the money for a present?
The arbiter of all things polite, Miss Manners, put it better than I could ever: "An invitation is not an invoice." When we give gifts, it's because we want to do so, and we give what we're able to. If I had expected every single person that I invited to my baby shower to buy me something for the baby, regardless of whether or not they attended, I should have invited the whole damn town, because then I wouldn't have had to make midnight diaper runs later on.
So, no. You shouldn't feel pressured to buy gifts for a shower you aren't attending. I genuinely believe that all gifts should be given from the heart, and forcing people to give you things because of some social obligation is just wrong.
Editor's Note: This piece was written by a POPSUGAR contributor and does not necessarily reflect the views of POPSUGAR Inc. Interested in joining our POPSUGAR Voices network of contributors from around the globe? Click here.
Quick Question: Why Isn't Every Human on Earth Wearing This GIANT Sherpa-Lined Wearable Blanket?
If your version of heaven involves being draped in soft, sherpa-lined crowns and cloaks, you might not have to wait that long - thankfully - to settle into something that sounds that cozy. The Comfy ($45) is here for us Earth-bound civilians who desire peak comfort.
Think about it as a sherpa-lined sweatshirt that drapes down to your ankles, so roomy that you can pick up your knees and tuck yourself completely inside, like a snail. Or a hermit. This is not your grandmother's throw blanket. It's the answer to cold mornings, and it's perfect for the entire family. All you'll need are heated slippers and you'll never have to leave the couch again.
This Is What It's Like to Have a Child You Don't Know Will Make It to Adulthood
Like most parents, my spouse and I think about our daughters' futures all the time. But unlike most parents, we also have to think about whether one of our children, Freyja, who was born with pontocerebellar hypoplasia type 2 - a very rare and severe neurological disorder - will even have a future, and if she does, what it might look like. She's 7, and her diagnosis is so severe that most people born with it don't survive childhood. In some ways, she's more physically and neurologically capable than similarly diagnosed children, and she's simultaneously significantly delayed in virtually every way compared to her neurotypical peers, so we have no clear indication of her prognosis. In short, we plan for everything and prepare for anything.
Because we have no concrete reason not to, we operate under the assumption that she will live a long and healthy life. So does she. She has no idea that she has already outlived many of her PCH peers. Medically and developmentally, she continues to gain strength where others atrophy and regress. She learns slowly and makes measured progress, so we all have good reason to be optimistic. She often begins sentences with "When I'm older" and tells people she wants to be a teacher when she grows up. Sometimes I find myself correcting her in my head. If you grow up, you mean. But then tears spring to my eyes at the horrific thought and I force myself to think positively, shooing away my pessimism with monthly contributions to her college fund.
She wants so badly to be independent, to be like everyone else - but she isn't like everyone else. She's different, and because of her disability, she may always need [help].
She may never be a teacher, but her doctors think she very well could grow into an adult with a livelihood, employed or otherwise engaged in some capacity or other. It's hard for us to imagine what independence in adulthood will look like for her, because it's hard for us to grapple with it in childhood. She wants so badly to be independent, to be like everyone else - but she isn't like everyone else. She's different, and because of her disability, she may always need accommodations that will make what you and I think of as fully independent living look very different for her. The problem with this is that's not Freyja.
In many ways, she's like any other 7-year-old. She likes to play dress-up, go swimming, and be read to. She loves cats, mac and cheese, and going to the movies. But then she breaks down when she can't rollerblade the way her sister can, crying, "Why can't I do it like she can? It hurts my legs and it's not fair!"
Accepting her difference is harder than one might think. She's deceptively interactive, and most of the time, her charm is captivating and engaging. Well-intentioned teachers, parents, therapists, and friends tell her all the time that she really is no different from anyone else and that she'll be able to do anything if she just puts her mind to it. This is sweet and flattering, but it also infuriates me, because it's untrue. I love my daughter and am wowed by her accomplishments every single day, but she has some very real limitations. Expressing this to the people in Freyja's world who love her can be a challenge, so finding a way to express it to Freyja herself is heartbreakingly difficult.
I believe my daughter is capable of great things. I believe she'll continue to surprise and amaze her neurologists with all she learns and does. But do I think she has the same career prospects as I did? No. She's not like all the other kids, and if she does grow up to be an adult, she won't be like all the other adults. I am and will continue to be her number one fan and her strongest, loudest advocate, but I refuse to set her up for failure to achieve the impossible.
We can't pretend that we don't see her disability, that she can do it, that she has an equal chance. It's just not true or fair to her. When she wants to do something on her own that all her friends are doing, she's not allowed to because it's often dangerous. At school, she has a full-time 1:1 paraprofessional whose responsibility it is to keep her safe. She can't cross the street by herself. She's been toilet trained since the age of 3, but multiple times a day, she has no choice but to surrender her dignity and allow adults to help her in the bathroom because the balancing act of undressing, sitting, wiping, and dressing is beyond her physical ability. It's humiliating and frustrating for her to have to be so dependent on another person, but it's not something I can change overnight.
Full independence is relative for our daughter at 7, just as it will be at 17 and at 27. Maybe she will always live with us but have her own space. In preparation for this, we bought a Cape house with an en-suite bedroom on the ground floor and had the shower renovated to be wide enough to accommodate a walker. For now she prefers to share the upstairs bedroom with her sister, but I anticipate that someday she will tire of being helped up and down the stairs multiple times a day. Maybe she'll live in a group setting, or in her own apartment with a personal care attendant to help her with activities of daily living that continue to be beyond her grasp. Maybe the living situation that awaits her is one we have not yet considered.
Similarly, employment, should it prove possible for her, may look very different. Her future employers will need to think outside the box when it comes to equal opportunity and ADA compliance. Her future boss will have to re-envision success. A ramp into the building and rails on the walls is a start, but pretending that she's like everyone else except for her walker or wheelchair won't work. I dream that there exists an employer who will take a chance on her, offering her a job that speaks to her strengths and gives her power, all while holding space for her challenges.
Like all parents, our daughters' futures are still uncertain, which is both scary and exciting. But unlike all parents, we're still hoping that one of them actually gets to have one.
44 Stocking Stuffers That Look Way More Expensive Than They Are
Finding something you really want tucked away inside of a nondescript fuzzy stocking is almost as much fun as unwrapping a present that's been sitting out in plain sight. When putting together your stockings this year, think about what your recipient might really want. Whether it's a moment to herself to unwind or something that will punch up her favorite cocktails, we have 44 stocking stuffers that look way more expensive than they are.
22 Harry Potter Ornaments That’ll Make Your Tree Look Like the Ones in Hogwarts
If you're a Harry Potter fan, you've no doubt spent long periods of time caught up in your own daydreams about what it would be like to spend Christmas at Hogwarts. The Great Hall, full of trees dragged in and decorated by Hagrid, pumpkin juice served up with meals, a Christmas feast followed by a game of Wizards' Chess - sounds utterly delightful. Since we're not at Hogwarts, however, there's no reason our own trees can't hold a little bit of wizards' magic in them to at least make us feel a bit like we're away at school with our best wizard and witch friends.
Ahead, our favorite Harry Potter ornaments that'll make your muggle tree feel magical.
Parents, Please Don't Give Your Kids a Puppy on Christmas Morning
Nothing compares to watching the excitement on your kids' faces when they open their gifts on Christmas morning. They eagerly rip open the boxes and their eyes instantly light up when they see that Santa has brought them the thing they've wanted more than anything. And for some on Christmas morning, that means a puppy. Those lovable creatures, with their floppy ears and giant feet, are a guaranteed hit. I mean, who wouldn't want a puppy? They're a great addition to any family. But just because everyone loves them doesn't mean they should be given as gifts. Keep reading for why you shouldn't give a puppy as a gift on Christmas morning, and how to safely bring one home if you do get one during the holiday season.
1. Christmas Is Too Overwhelming
Christmas is a notoriously hectic day. From opening gifts to cooking to having family over or going to someone else's house, Christmas just isn't the time to introduce a tiny puppy into your home and family. Kids, especially little kids, can also get emotional, scream, or grab at the puppy, which could scare them. This is especially true if your new pet isn't house trained yet. Getting a new animal on Christmas will add a whole new level of stress for you and for the puppy.
Dog expert Cesar Millan points out: "You've just thrown [them] into a completely alien environment with no direction, and these early associations are going to stick. The place is unfamiliar, it smells different, and there doesn't seem to be any way out." Unless you're going to stop the whole Christmas gift-giving process and devote your whole day to the dog, chances are you're going to really stress out your new pup.
2. Pets Are Family Members
Living, breathing creatures like puppies and kittens aren't toys - they're new members of the family that will require love and attention for the next 9 to 15 years. Puppies should require a great amount of thought and preparation. They need a fleet of supplies, from crates and beds to food and toys, and they need the time and space to acclimate to their new things and home.
3. Children Might Want to Have a Say
When I've adopted animals in the past, the shelter workers always ask if every member of the family is present and OK with the adoption of a pet. One shelter wouldn't even let me adopt my pup until I brought my roommate in to confirm that she was on board. Largely, this process should hold true for kids. If you're expecting children to love and take care of a puppy for the next decade at least, they should have some say in which puppy they get, otherwise this is just a gift for you, and that's not the way gifts work.
4. Instead, Plan a Family Trip
That being said, you can still "give a puppy" for Christmas. Instead of putting a puppy in a box or stocking, give your kid the puppy toys, the crate, or a leash. Explain to them what this gift means, and that they'll be able to help pick out and rescue their new pet. They'll feel more invested in the process because they get to help. As part of your gift, pick a day as a family to go look at puppies, and after Christmas has died down, come up with a plan. This way, your family is happy and prepared, and a puppy has the best shot at adjusting to their new home and family with ease.
Cardi B Turned Down a 7-Figure Offer to Share Photos of Her Daughter For 1 Very Important Reason
Image Source: Getty / Frazer Harrison
Cardi B loves making money - she even released a whole song about it earlier this week - but there are some things she won't put a price on. Like sharing photos of her 4-month-old daughter, Kulture. The "I Like It" rapper appeared on Apple Music's Beats 1 radio show on Wednesday when she revealed that she turned down a seven-figure deal to release the first photos of her baby girl. "I got offered seven figures - over a million," she told host Ebro Darden. "I'm just not ready yet. I'm not even ready to have a damn babysitter, even though I really need one."
Cardi B and her husband, Offset, welcomed Kulture to the world back in July. The duo have been pretty open about their relationship in the past but have been extremely private about sharing photos of their daughter - and that's with good reason. Cardi also mentioned during her interview that her number once got leaked, and she subsequently received an influx of messages with threats directed at herself and her daughter. "I got so many disgusting messages that I literally had to hire a private investigator."
This certainly isn't the first time Cardi has opened up about her decision to keep her baby out of the public eye. She appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! earlier this month when she discussed the drawbacks of being a new mom with such a large following. "There's certain things I want to do with my daughter," she told Kimmel. "Like, I want to go to the beach with my baby, I want to take a stroll down the street with my baby. And I can't, because I don't know who's next to me and who has certain intentions. I don't wanna show my baby out to the public right now, I just want to protect her."
30 Toys and Accessories Every '90s Preteen Absolutely HAD to Have
Trust me when I say that of the 30 '90s-tastic toys and accessories I've included in this gallery, at least 23 of them can still be found at my parents' house. Part of this is because I'm a pack rat, but it's mostly because my dad is a pack rat who insists everything will be worth some money some day. (Still waiting on a paycheck for the Beanie Babies, Dad.)
For those of us who grew up in the 1990s, back when life was easier and technology and social media weren't a worry, we had so many amazing toys and accessories to choose from. They were a little simpler and maybe more wholesome than some of today's options, but we loved them as kids. Now that we're older and these toys are considered vintage (it hurts to even think that), it's nice to think back on the memories of the actual toys.
I can remember how almost all of them came into my life because they were all so special. I remember the Christmas morning when the Barbie Dream House was under the Christmas tree, despite the fact that it was more than two decades ago. Take a trip down memory lane with me to look back on the Barbies, stuffed animals, and games we all played with in the gallery ahead.
Just 25 Pictures of Animals Napping, Because You Deserve It
Do you love animals of all shapes and sizes? Do you bookmark cute pictures of cats and photos of fluffy puppies to scroll through after work? Would you prefer to find a kitten in your Starbucks cup rather than your iced coffee? You've come to the right place! Ahead, we've compiled 25 exceptionally cute photos of animals from all across the world. What do they have in common? Well, they're all napping. Why? Because animals are goddamn adorable when they're sleeping. Please enjoy.
25 Perfect Tech Gifts That Cost Less Than $25
If you're struggling with what to gift the tech guru in your life - something that is both functional and that won't drain your wallet - you're in luck. We uncovered 25 cool products, from mini walkie-talkies to multipurpose keychains. The best part: they're all under $25. Keep scrolling to shop our top picks.
Additional Reporting by Nicole Nguyen
You'll Start Toe-Tapping When You See How Easy It Is to Dress Like the Walmart Yodel Boy
It's basically impossible to forget the greatest meme of 2018. Mason Ramsey became an internet sensation, seemingly overnight, when he stepped out in a Walmart in Harrisburg, IL, to show off his yodeling chops. The 11-year-old country crooner won our hearts (and the hearts of celebrities everywhere) with his rendition of "Lovesick Blues" and ended up visiting The Ellen DeGeneres Show, performing at Coachella, and releasing his debut EP. Cool, we were totally doing those things in middle school too . . .
If you're in the mood to pay tribute to the boy who broke the internet, we have you covered. You'll have the "lovesick blues" no more once you've pieced together a Walmart Yodel Boy Halloween costume. Check out the essential pieces we've rounded up ahead that will make your costume complete.
20 Gifts Your 20-Something Boyfriend Will Love
Giving presents to your significant other can be a real stressor, that's why we're here to be your holiday shopping spirit guide. Take a deep breath and open your Internet browser; it's never too early to begin holiday shopping. If you've got a boyfriend in his 20s, we have a whole guide of gifts perfect for your man. Check out all 20 of the foolproof options.
I Know the Dangers of Domestic Violence Firsthand - That's Why I'm Voting For Gun Safety
Neuteyshe Felizor is a sophomore at George Mason University and a leader in her school's chapter of Students Demand Action.
With just weeks until the critical midterm elections, it's all hands on deck for college students like me. Our future, as well as the future of this nation, is on the line. I wish that my worries ended with wondering what's for dinner (answer: ramen) and how to help my ever-shrinking bank account. Instead, I'm worried about our right to live a life free of gun violence, and determined to demand more of our leaders in Washington DC and in our statehouses.
I know the toll gun violence takes - especially on women and communities of color. Women in the US are 16 times more likely to be killed with a gun than women in other high-income countries. And the crisis is especially deadly for black women. We are twice as likely to be fatally shot by an intimate partner compared to white women. This October is both Domestic Violence Awareness Month and marks the last weeks until midterm elections. It's with both of these things in mind that I demand change.
"It's too late to protect my aunt from what happened . . . it is not too late for other women or men in abusive relationships."
Like too many Americans, I know what it feels like to find out that your loved one was killed by domestic violence. My aunt and I had a complicated relationship. I had always told myself that I would eventually reach out and try to make amends. Unfortunately, "eventually" never came because my aunt was brutally murdered by her husband in September 2017. I now live with regret knowing that I never got to say "I am sorry," "I love you," or even "I forgive you." Sometimes, I catch myself wondering how I could've helped prevent her murder. In coming to terms with the reality that it's too late to protect my aunt from what happened, I realized that it is not too late for other women or men in abusive relationships. While a gun was not involved in my aunt's murder, more than half of women who die by gun violence in America are killed by intimate partners or family members. I used to blame myself for not doing enough, but now, I am determined to tell my aunt's story because sharing it could help inspire the change we need to save lives.
There's no one law that can stop every act of violence. But there are common-sense steps we can take, like keeping guns out of the hands of domestic abusers, that can make a difference. It's with that in mind that I helped to found a chapter of Students Demand Action For Gun Sense in America on my college campus. The fact is that gun violence is preventable. Strong gun laws and a culture of responsible gun ownership can save lives, but we need lawmakers who will work with us to enact change.
So, I began to speak up. Along with my fellow Students Demand Action volunteers, I have been phone banking, canvassing, and registering voters, all in an effort to do everything we can to elect gun sense candidates. We all have a role to play in changing our world for the better - and every little piece counts.
This election is critical, and lives depend on our voting for candidates who will stand up for gun safety. It's easy to know who to support; you can go to gunsensevoter.org to find candidates who have pledged to vote for gun safety if elected. And if you're interested in getting involved in the gun violence prevention movement - and turning out voters on Nov. 6 - text "READY" to 644-33.
For the sake of our safety, be sure to vote for gun sense candidates on Nov. 6.
This 24-Piece Sex Toy Advent Calendar Will Make Your Holidays Hotter Than Mulled Wine
Your holiday season is about to get a wholllllle lot more pleasurable, thanks to Ella Paradis. The Florida-based online boutique recently dropped a sex toy Advent calendar ($120, originally $149), and it's sure to make you feel just as hot under the collar as Santa gets after a few trips down the chimney. Rather than decking the halls with boughs of holly, this giant gift box suggests decking it with erotic gadgets instead. It's jam-packed with 24 steamy surprises for you and your partner to discover and enjoy together, from massage oil and kegel balls to chained handcuffs and lacy lingerie. There's even a handy-dandy booklet to guide you along on your journey of exploration - or shall we say sexploration?
Ahead, take a peek at a few of the naughty goodies hidden inside the calendar, and then place an order for one of your own, if you so please. Merry XXX-mas!
This Travel Essential Will Banish Holiday Headaches
The last few months of the year are the most popular travel times and, understandably, the most stressful travel times. So a neck pillow is basically a must have for long flights or extended car rides. And if you're going to purchase a neck pillow, this is the one to use.
The Bcozzy Chin Supporting Travel Pillow ($30) is revolutionary because it, unlike so many other neck pillows, actually goes all the way around your neck, building a sort of cocoon for your face. Let's face it, when we're traveling, we're often forced to sleep in some uncomfortable positions. This way, you can stay comfortable no matter if you're leaning against a window or forced to tuck your chin and drop your head. This pillow comes in a bunch of different colors, so nobody will mistake yours for theirs, and it also comes in children's sizes, so the whole family can stay comfortable. I know from personal experience (think an 11-hour flight) how game-changing a simple neck pillow can be, and this is just about the best option I've ever seen. I'm not the only one; it's a bestseller on Amazon, with over 3,500 positive reviews. Consider this one fewer travel headache.
35 Gifts For the Guy Who Basically Has Everything
Men can be the toughest nut to crack when it comes to shopping. They aren't always vocal about what they want (and don't have 12,000 Pinterest boards like we do), and to make things worse, anything they have their eye on, they buy themselves. But we're here to help! No matter what your guy's interests are, we've got a gift idea for him! Check out our extensive gift guide now!
- Additional reporting by Tara Block
11 Cute and Comfy Travel Dresses Perfect For Long Plane Rides
Sitting on a plane in constricting jeans is terrible. Ditch your denim for something much more comfortable: a dress. There are plenty of options that are light and floaty, so you can relax on a plane or long road trip. We curated a selection of the very best picks that are easy to pack, wrinkle-free, and incredibly cute. Shop through these genius choices, and get yourself one before holiday travel is your priority.
Watch Out: These Astrology Sign Pairings Are Most Likely to Cheat on Each Other
Ever wonder which type of partner might be most likely to cheat? Well, it turns out the stars might have a say in the matter, as certain zodiac pairings might butt heads and be unfaithful over others based on differing personality traits and values. Of course, don't ditch your significant other simply because the zodiac says so, but keep the warning in mind. You may not be so shocked if things start to go sour. Here are a few sign pairings that could have a love triangle thrown in.
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Buying Every Single One of These Stocking Stuffers
Holiday stockings are so underrated, and we aren't sure why. I mean, who wouldn't want a sock full of tiny presents, right? While it can be hard to find just the right amount of gifts to fit in a stocking, we've got you covered with some of the coolest stocking stuffers of the season. Fill your stockings with these tiny trinkets and embrace every *little* aspect of the holiday season.
The Ultimate Under-$100 Gift Guide For College Students
In no time flat, college students will be rushing home in hoards to enjoy home-cooked meals and their old squeaky twin beds for the holiday season. Make sure you get those undergrads the perfect gift for Christmas so that they can go back to school feeling totally prepared. We rounded up the best gifts for under $100 so that your student will give you an A+ when it comes to gift giving.
33 Unique Stocking Stuffers They Weren't Expecting but Will Totally Love
If you're stumped on what stocking stuffers to get your loved ones this year, not to worry, we made it easy by curating a list of the coolest choices out there. From robot salt and pepper shakers to mini chia pets and pretty candles, we found something for everyone on your list. Keep scrolling to shop our favorite picks.
The Ultimate Amazon Guide: 70+ Top Gifts That Will Dominate the Internet This Holiday
Amazon, we praise you. The online retailer is a true lifesaver when it comes to finding holiday gifts. That's why we have done days of research to present you with the very best presents from the site. These items will without a doubt be the best gifts under the tree. Shop through our carefully curated guide and add these essentials to your cart before the holidays creep up on you. There is something for every person on your list, and you'll be so relieved when these must haves arrive at your door.
Your Fur Baby Needs a Holiday Present, Too - Shop Our 20 Favorite Gifts For Dogs
You've been hard at work shopping for everyone on your list, but you can't forget priority number one: your pup! Our dogs take precedence in almost every other area of our lives, so why should gift giving be any different? This season, give your fur baby the treats they've been wanting; think plush dog beds, cute toys, and even puppy ice cream. They'll be wagging their tail for days.
If You Need a Holiday Hostess Gift, Look No Further
Here's the thing; a cookbook is just about the ideal holiday gift, and here's why. It's a perfect hostess gift because it's thoughtful and isn't the classic food or alcohol, plus it can arrive in two days thanks to Amazon Prime. Alternatively, if you're gifting someone who genuinely loves to cook, they'll be excited to try out some new recipes, maybe from some of their favorite chefs or celebrities.
Will the Starbucks Witch's Brew Frappuccino Put a Spell on You? Here's How It Tastes
Starbucks is back this year with another eye-catching Halloween Frappuccino, and was there ever really any doubt? Following the craze surrounding last year's Zombie Frappuccino, Starbucks has announced a new Witch's Brew Frappuccino. The bright purple drink consists of toad's breath, bat warts, and lizard scales. Just kidding - the ingredients actually include orange crème, chia seeds, and whipped cream with a dusting of green powder for decoration.
Now, we'll get to the real reason you likely clicked into this story: how does it taste? The Frappuccino primarily elicited comparisons to orange creamsicles, Fruity Pebbles, and even those Flintstones Chewable Vitamins made for kids. We polled a few POPSUGAR editors on their initial reaction to the Frappuccino. Here they are below:
- "It's straight orange creamsicle."
- "I like it . . . because I like orange creamsicles. It tastes like the Stewart's orange and cream soda."
- "It's like they melted a creamsicle and dyed it purple. I like the chia seeds, they add a good texture, but I wouldn't drink an entire thing of it."
- "It's not as bad as I would've expected. It does taste a lot like Fruity Pebbles to me."
- "It tastes like Fruity Pebbles, but then the orange comes through at the end."
- "It reminds me of those Flintstones push pops!"
- "Flintstones vitamins! It's not that bad - I like the taste of vitamins."
- "It totally tastes like the Fruity Pebbles cereal. I still taste it in my mouth and . . . yep."
- "Damn, Starbucks is doing the most."
The Witch's Brew Frappuccino will be available now - but for a limited time - at Starbucks locations throughout the United States, Canada, Mexico, and select locations in the Caribbean.
Burning Question: At What Temperature Is a Turkey Cooked?
No matter what kind of turkey you'll be having this year, there's one question you'll need the answer to: what temperature does a turkey need to reach in order to be considered done?
Until 2008, the USDA recommended cooking turkey to an internal temperature of 180ºF. But based on the fact that bacteria threat salmonella cannot withstand temperatures of 160ºF after 30 seconds, the FDA now suggests a minimum internal temperature of 165ºF as measured by a food thermometer in the innermost part of the thigh and wing and the thickest part of the breast.
The FDA doesn't really account for the fact that the breasts cook slower than the thighs. Turkey experts like Butterball recommend cooking the breast to 165ºF and the thigh to 180ºF. The key number is the breast temperature, so stress less about the thigh temperature (as long as it's over the 160ºF ballpark). And, if you really want the juiciest white meat possible, factor in carry-over cooking. America's Test Kitchen says to pull the bird out of the oven at 160ºF, since the residual heat from the meat will raise the temperature to 165ºF as it rests for 15-20 minutes (but no more than 30).
These 16 Trending Gifts Will Make Anyone on Your List Smile
When you're giving gifts, you want the recipient to feel the thought you put into your selections. They're guaranteed to love a trend-focused gift because it shows your attention to detail. Right now, we're so into bohemian home decor, wellness essentials, and statement sneakers. These are the coolest, trendiest gifts of 2018.
Parents, Please Don't Give Your Kids a Puppy on Christmas Morning
Nothing compares to watching the excitement on your kids' faces when they open their gifts on Christmas morning. They eagerly rip open the boxes and their eyes instantly light up when they see that Santa has brought them the thing they've wanted more than anything. And for some on Christmas morning, that means a puppy. Those lovable creatures, with their floppy ears and giant feet, are a guaranteed hit. I mean, who wouldn't want a puppy? They're a great addition to any family. But just because everyone loves them doesn't mean they should be given as gifts. Keep reading for why you shouldn't give a puppy as a gift on Christmas morning, and how to safely bring one home if you do get one during the holiday season.
1. Christmas Is Too Overwhelming
Christmas is a notoriously hectic day. From opening gifts to cooking to having family over or going to someone else's house, Christmas just isn't the time to introduce a tiny puppy into your home and family. Kids, especially little kids, can also get emotional, scream, or grab at the puppy, which could scare them. This is especially true if your new pet isn't house trained yet. Getting a new animal on Christmas will add a whole new level of stress for you and for the puppy.
Dog expert Cesar Millan points out: "You've just thrown [them] into a completely alien environment with no direction, and these early associations are going to stick. The place is unfamiliar, it smells different, and there doesn't seem to be any way out." Unless you're going to stop the whole Christmas gift-giving process and devote your whole day to the dog, chances are you're going to really stress out your new pup.
2. Pets Are Family Members
Living, breathing creatures like puppies and kittens aren't toys - they're new members of the family that will require love and attention for the next 9 to 15 years. Puppies should require a great amount of thought and preparation. They need a fleet of supplies, from crates and beds to food and toys, and they need the time and space to acclimate to their new things and home.
3. Children Might Want to Have a Say
When I've adopted animals in the past, the shelter workers always ask if every member of the family is present and OK with the adoption of a pet. One shelter wouldn't even let me adopt my pup until I brought my roommate in to confirm that she was on board. Largely, this process should hold true for kids. If you're expecting children to love and take care of a puppy for the next decade at least, they should have some say in which puppy they get, otherwise this is just a gift for you, and that's not the way gifts work.
4. Instead, Plan a Family Trip
That being said, you can still "give a puppy" for Christmas. Instead of putting a puppy in a box or stocking, give your kid the puppy toys, the crate, or a leash. Explain to them what this gift means, and that they'll be able to help pick out and rescue their new pet. They'll feel more invested in the process because they get to help. As part of your gift, pick a day as a family to go look at puppies, and after Christmas has died down, come up with a plan. This way, your family is happy and prepared, and a puppy has the best shot at adjusting to their new home and family with ease.
Your Favorite Home Cook Needs One of These Fun Gifts
As much fun as it is to go out to eat, home-cooked meals are usually our favorites. For the heroes in our lives, aka the awesome chefs, you want to get them something they'll love for the kitchen. These are the perfect presents for your resident Wolfgang Puck or Rachael Ray. Plus, if you give them something from this list, they'll probably be inspired to cook. Everybody wins!
You Will Gasp Over These 21 Rose Gold Items From Amazon - All Under $22
If you think rose gold products have to be pricey, you are so very wrong. Amazon offers all sorts of gorgeous products, and we chose our favorite under $22. We're talking jewelry, shoes, tech accessories, home decor, and more. Many of these items are offered on Amazon Prime, so you can get them in as little as two days. Get ready to feast your eyes on plenty of pretty things!
Related: Prepare to Lose Your Cool Over These 16 Pink Products - All From Amazon and Under $20
11 Ultracomforting Recipes From The Pioneer Woman
It's undeniable that blogger, cookbook author, and Food-Network-star, Ree Drummond - aka The Pioneer Woman - knows her way around comforting American classics. Take a look at her blog, and your mouth is bound to water. We've rounded up 11 must-try recipes from Ree, including chicken chili, macaroni salad, cookies, and cinnamon buns; keep reading for those and more.
40+ Gifts That Will Make Your Bestie Feel Like You Really Know Them
Remember when you were younger and would give your bestie those necklaces that split into two, so it felt like you were together even when you weren't? Well, you're never too old for that. This holiday season, show your BFF how much they mean to you by treating them to a present that will truly make them feel special. Ahead, you'll find over 40 unique picks, and yes, we've included a couple split-into-two gift options and a slew of other fun choices. Keep reading to check out our top picks of the year.
This Travel Essential Will Banish Holiday Headaches
The last few months of the year are the most popular travel times and, understandably, the most stressful travel times. So a neck pillow is basically a must have for long flights or extended car rides. And if you're going to purchase a neck pillow, this is the one to use.
The Bcozzy Chin Supporting Travel Pillow ($30) is revolutionary because it, unlike so many other neck pillows, actually goes all the way around your neck, building a sort of cocoon for your face. Let's face it, when we're traveling, we're often forced to sleep in some uncomfortable positions. This way, you can stay comfortable no matter if you're leaning against a window or forced to tuck your chin and drop your head. This pillow comes in a bunch of different colors, so nobody will mistake yours for theirs, and it also comes in children's sizes, so the whole family can stay comfortable. I know from personal experience (think an 11-hour flight) how game-changing a simple neck pillow can be, and this is just about the best option I've ever seen. I'm not the only one; it's a bestseller on Amazon, with over 3,500 positive reviews. Consider this one fewer travel headache.
Wondering If Starbucks Is Open on Thanksgiving? Here's Your Answer
Between the holiday shopping deals and the sometimes multiple family dinners, Thanksgiving requires a lot of energy. Whether you're heading out on a road trip to visit friends and family, need a pick-me-up on Thanksgiving morning, or need some caffeine to make it through to midnight for those Black Friday sales, you're probably wondering if Starbucks will be open on Thanksgiving.
Luckily, most Starbucks locations are open on Thanksgiving Day! Make sure to check your local shop for their hours, as they may open later or close earlier because of the holiday. They might also have special hours for early bird Black Friday shoppers! Either way, you should be able to get your Pumpkin Spice Latte fix.
jeudi 25 octobre 2018
Wake Up to These Delicious Slow-Cooker Meals This Fall
If you find your mornings to be hectic and you're struggling to put together a satisfying and healthy breakfast for you and the family, overnight slow-cooker recipes are just what you need! By putting everything together the night before and the temperature on low, you'll wake up to a completely cooked and satisfying breakfast. And it's not only good for breakfast foods, as you can use the overnight method to prepare lunch or dinner for the next day, too. Not sure where to get started? We have rounded up 20 of the best overnight slow-cooker meals ahead!
Gordon Ramsay's Transformative Way to Scramble Eggs
Yes, there are a million different scrambled eggs techniques out there, but Gordon Ramsay's will be your full-stop method. While at a press event to promote his game with Glu Mobile, I asked chef Ramsay to go through the proper way to scramble eggs. His unique method has a heartwarming tale:
"After training in London, I wanted to become French, so I went to the birthplace of all cuisine. I remember seeing this amazing dish with scrambled eggs and sea urchin. I tasted the sea urchin through the scrambled eggs . . . and they topped it with caviar. I thought it was wild. I had never put sea urchin in scrambled eggs. The texture was just incredible. It made it so much creamier. What was more accessible to the average person at home making scrambled eggs - I knew that was crème fraiche. I perfected that craft in France making scrambled eggs to order, standing in Guy Savoy's restaurant behind the line as a 22-year-old."
But crème fraiche isn't the only thing that makes these scrambled eggs different from the rest. It's cooked in a pot! The eggs aren't seasoned from the start! Most of the cooking is done off the flame! Are you baffled yet? Me too, which is why I had to try the method out for myself. So where to begin? Start by watching Gordon's YouTube video. He shared a hilarious story about it:
I think there's about 15 million people online who have [watched] that scrambled eggs video. And it transforms the way you eat eggs. Incredible. It's a kind of rich, sumptuous way to eat scrambled eggs even for dinner, even with all the steps. It's just delicious on sourdough bread. My video, with 15 million downloads on YouTube, I burn the f*cking toast. I'm not so far down my backside. I make mistakes. I just start again. It's funny. I'm so into my scrambled eggs, focusing away. Fire alarm is going off and I burn my toast."
Like Gordon, my first attempt didn't go off hitch-free. I'm unfortunately going to need a few more practices to end up with perfectly custardy, voluminous eggs like Gordon, but what I did make was truly exceptional and unlike any scrambled eggs I've ever had before. I can't wait to keep on practicing, and neither will you once you've memorized the steps.
I Lost My Husband 3 Days After Welcoming Our First Baby
There I sat, my 3-day-old infant in my arms, trembling in fear as chaos and horror played out in my living room. Muffled by my bedroom door were sirens, chattering voices, and screams that will forever haunt my dreams. Frozen and in a state of shock, all I could see in my mind was the lifeless face of the only man I ever intended to love, his lips white and his body lying on the floor in an unnatural state. "I couldn't feel a pulse, but he has to be alive," I told myself. A police officer slowly opened my door and disturbingly made his way to my bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the willing arms of family members reaching out for my infant son. As the words "He's deceased" came out of the officer's mouth, all went black.
A stray bullet is how the news reported the story, but we will never know the whole truth. The bullet that killed Justin went against pure logic and had a statistical probability of one in infinity. In a drunken stupor, my backyard neighbor fired his 9mm semi-automatic handgun. The bullet managed to travel through his screen door (dodging dozens of trees) over 200 feet to our home. It crashed through our glass door and blinds, continued across our living room, and finally stopped when it hit Justin in the head at the very second he jumped up from our sofa.
We tend to refer to the next day as "the day the music died." I had a 3-day old-baby and now a dead husband.
It's been two years since that tragic day, and at 33 years old, I see myself a much sadder but wiser girl. Going through something so horrific and life-altering not only changes the way you see the world, it transforms it. Grief is a very personal thing, and while I would never claim to be an expert on coping, I do know firsthand how to live with it. I like to compare it to a scar. More specifically, an internal scar on your heart and in your mind that follows you everywhere. A dark cloud that hovers over everything good and beautiful for the rest of your life. For one to truly understand the full gravity of the situation, you have to know the story as a whole, not just the ending. Therefore, I must jump back 19 years.
I was barely a teen, a 14-year-old girl in the eighth grade, when I first met and fell in love with Justin Ayers. He could play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix and crack a joke like Jerry Seinfeld. He was a smart, talented, adorable, funny, passionate boy, and I took notice. As I think back on our love story, a specific song lyric comes to mind: "Each night I ask the stars up above, why must I be a teenager in love?" I would sob, "Why can't we just get married today?" My friends and family (with the exception of my mom) would chuckle at the idea, dismissing us as kids who would grow up and realize it's just the hormones. But I never once doubted. In 2003 (one year after I graduated high school), we finally tied the knot.
Over the next 10 years, Justin and I made our own rules in life. We had several goals we wanted to pursue, so we decided to wait to start a family, knowing we needed time to grow up. We formed multiple bands, traveled for leisure and work, and wrote and recorded an album together. It was definitely outside the norm, but it was our norm, and we savored it. Then one morning, I woke up and suddenly felt different. I wanted a baby! And Justin agreed. We'd been married for 10 years, and we both knew we were ready to become parents. We got busy between the sheets and in September 2013, I became pregnant with our son, Jax.
On June 14, 2014, I remember looking at my infant son and realizing, "I finally understand!" His hair was thick and silky, his lips were bright red, and his eyes were captivating. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, bringing a child into this world has to be one of the most incredible feelings a woman can experience in life. A few minor birthing complications cost us an extra day in the hospital, but on the third evening, we were released and went home to be a family.
We tend to refer to the next day as "the day the music died." I had a 3-day-old baby and now a dead husband. I was a brand-new mother and now a widow at only 31 years old. I never had a chance to tell Justin goodbye or tell him how much I loved him. I like to think he already knew.
We buried Justin on a Saturday, exactly one week after Jax was born. The day after his funeral, the crowds were starting to disperse, and my support system was dwindling down to a much smaller group. It seems incomprehensible to try to portray the level of darkness I slipped into. A darkness that is so scary, I wasn't "allowed" to be left alone for one second. Not even to take a shower.
Life is a series of choices, and this choice to live started with my decision to get up off the bathroom floor and feed my infant son.
"Jess, you OK in there?" my friend Casey hollered as she banged on the bathroom door, "Jax is crying and needs to eat. Do we need to break the door down?" Time seemed frozen as I realized it had been two hours since I'd snuck away to the bathroom, granting my first chance to be alone since losing Justin. I took it as my only opportunity to bask in my own misery. The light from the hall shone brightly under the door as I lay in a pool of tears staring at everyone's feet pacing back and forth. With the chill of the bathroom tile on my cheek being my only comfort from the pain, I decided in that moment that I was ready to completely give up. I wanted to die.
I could hear multiple voices in the hallway, all pleading for me to open the door. But in the distance I could hear a tiny voice that resonated in my heart. It was Jax, he was hungry, and I knew I was his source for food. "We are sending someone to the store for formula," my mom said to me. That was the defining moment when I had to make a choice, life or death. I realized that even though the life I'd worked so hard for was gone, I could try and start a new one. My son needed me to survive, and I needed him. It took me over 10 minutes to actually stand to my feet, but once I did, I felt a little hopeful. Life is a series of choices, and this choice to live started with my decision to get up off the bathroom floor and feed my infant son.
Over the next year, I was like a chameleon. I became so many different versions of myself that I didn't know who I was anymore. Was I Justin's wife or his widow? Was I a stay-at-home mom who used to be a musician or would I sing again? Would I ever have the opportunity to have another child? I had always wanted three. The endless questions and constant wonder consumed me from the inside out. For close to 10 months, I disappeared from any social scene, social media, or social circle that didn't include a few select people. I was hiding from the world and wasting away to nothing, a shell of my former self. Then it happened again. I looked at my now-10-month-old baby and felt ashamed. That hungry infant, once crying for mommy's milk, was now starting to talk, walk, and think. Looking at my gorgeous baby boy, I once again realized that it was time for me to make another choice between life or death.
Looking back on the last two years of my life, I realize how many choices and decisions I had to make to arrive where I'm at today. I needed to find "me" again, and that required throwing myself back into my biggest passion, which had ironically become my biggest fear: music. My love for performing and music was something I shared with Justin, and it was now something I was forced to explore on my own. By sheer circumstance, I reconnected with a former bandmate and was presented with the opportunity to fill in on a few gigs. With much hesitation, I accepted. Declining the opportunity and turning my back on what I used to love would have been the much safer bet. But I knew it would mean I would end up spending the rest of my life running away from the pain and the joy it would bring.
The roller coaster of emotions I go through during a live show are endless. However, I choose to face them every night because in the end, the good outweighs the bad. I maintain the idea though that the happiness I experience day to day is by my own choosing. Every single day I wake up like everyone else and I'm faced with a choice. Some days I hate life and choose to be sad, angry, hurt, scared, resentful, and lonely. Other days I feel blessed and choose to be happy, optimistic, thankful, forgiving, and compassionate. Each day is a new decision, and with each decision brings a new outcome. I can only hope I'm making the right choices for my future, especially for Jax's.
When I close my eyes at night, I like to tell myself three things: I will be eternally grateful for you, my mommy! I will forever worship you, my Justin! And I will always love you, my Jax!
Some of the greatest quotes in life come to us in the form of song lyrics. So, I will leave you with these words from Aerosmith: "Life's a journey, not a destination. And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings."
Jessica Ayers recently founded a foundation for young widowed mothers. For more, visit her website, The Singing Widow, where she blogs about life, loss, and motherhood.
The 1 Marriage Mistake You Might Be Making
You may question my opinion on marriage when you hear that I am divorced, but I often find that those of us who have tried something and failed bring a lot to the table in terms of perspective and advice. And after numerous rounds of marriage counseling, time spent thinking about why my marriage failed and what part both my ex and I had to play in this failure, I have a whole new way of looking at marriage than when I first said "I do." Despite everything, I still 100 percent believe in marriage and love. I see couples all the time that remind me that marriage can be lovely. And then I see couples that should be happy, but they're not. There are no major issues, but they seem to exist in misery.
When you're unhappily married or having minor marital issues, you're not typically announcing it to people. It's like a dirty secret. Who wants to say that her happily ever after stinks? But here's the good news: while there are indeed quite a few people in hopelessly bad marriages, most are perfectly capable of happiness. And I am here to say as someone who lived through this that there is one costly mistake you may be making in your marriage that is causing friction. In fact, you may be doing this mistake without even realizing it. And you may be doing this even if you're in a relatively happy marriage.
Do you find yourself nagging your partner a lot? Or do you find yourself saying how your partner never does X or always does Y? For example, does your husband never clean up after himself? Do you frequently vent about this issue, whatever it is? Is it a constant fight between the two of you? If you answered yes, that's the mistake I'm talking about.
Too often, people focus on what their partners are doing wrong rather than what they're doing right. Even though it would be preferable and polite for your messy husband to pick up after himself, in the large scheme of things, is he doing things mostly right? Every single person in this world has flaws. When we sign up to marry someone, we're basically signing this invisible document that says, "When exchanging vows with person X, you must tolerate his or her flaws, and remember the good every day despite the fact that person X may be utterly annoying at times" - sign at the X. It's all too common that over time as people get comfortable and take each other for granted, these little tiny issues become large in our mind and we forget to savor what our partner does so well because we're focusing on that one thing he or she can't do right. Fixing this issue takes two steps. The first one is realizing you're doing it if you don't already. The second is how to stop and what issues are worth letting go . . . and what aren't.
Are You Slamming Your Partner Too Much?
How often do you point out to friends, co-workers, and maybe even family what your partner is doing wrong? Do you frequently get irritated with your partner? Are you nagging your partner constantly? Do you resent him over these flaws of his? Do you hold back sex or affection? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are most likely focusing on your partner's flaws too much.
What Issues Are Not Worth Letting Go
If your partner is abusive verbally, physically, or emotionally . . . you cannot let this slide! If he's cheating, reckless with money, or abusing substances . . . he's not a keeper! If he's mean to the kids and irresponsible with their care . . . you've got a real big problem. These are issues that should be taken seriously.
Issues You Should Let Slide
Is he messy (not a hoarder, but simply messy)? Is he bad with romance, planning dates, or just average in bed? (Yes, I said that.) Is he overwhelmed at times when handling the kids? Is he forgetful? Does the concept of folding laundry befuddle him? These are the issues you should let slide. Most likely, you knew he was this way when you said "I do." For all the times he left the clothes in the dryer, I bet if you focused on it, you could find another 50 times that he was there for you as your husband.
How to Stop
First, why are you obsessing over these small issues? Are you happy with yourself and where you two are as people and parents? I found that my ex and I tended to be harder on each other when we were feeling down about ourselves or our circumstances like money issues, unemployment periods, and pregnancy loss. The reality for both of us was that we were dissatisfied with situations in our life, and instead of placing accurate blame, at times we made each other the fall guy for our unhappiness. If you aren't happy with yourself, you may unintentionally pick at your partner. It's time to get yourself back to happiness, and that may mean seeing a counselor.
Have you gotten too comfortable, or are you simply bored? Sometimes we take our partners for granted because like our favorite pair of yoga pants, he has been there forever. And in case you didn't get the memo, marriage can be utterly boring sometimes. It's not like when you were dating and dealing with the intense roller coaster of love. Perhaps you need to invest in some alone time with your man. Maybe it's time to even spice things up sexually a bit. Or why not try a new hobby or activity with your partner? We all get in marriage ruts from time to time. The trick is to snap out of it when it's happening. I tried to pull my ex out of the rut we got in, but he was resistant. Don't resist. Be open to change.
Take five minutes a day to reflect on what your main squeeze does right, and tell him! If you start to share not only your complaints but also your compliments, imagine the return you will get from this. Consider these compliments as deposits in your marriage. Every time you have something good to say, you're investing in your partner. Every time you have something bad to say, you're withdrawing. Put nagging in the category of "something bad to say" as well. I nagged too much at times . . . when I should have let it go or not bothered to beat a dead horse. Nagging is often destructive and doesn't get your guy to do what you want. But when you share with your partner something great he did and focus on all he does bring to the table, I guarantee he will step up to the plate more and more. That was something my ex failed to do. I didn't get positive feedback, and it hurt me deeply until I started to withdraw. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy when we focus on the negative in our partner: the more we tell them these things, perhaps the more the person starts to believe he or she is bad, and possibly even "become" what we have envisioned. It's not good for your partner's self-esteem, and it's a negative place for you to be in.
At the end of the day, marriage means waking up each day and saying, "Even if you drive me crazy, I love you too much to be without you, so I'll just let you make me slightly insane." Reflect on all the wonderful things your partner brings to the marriage, and I promise the small things won't seem so "big" anymore.
10 Educational Toys Your 6-Year-Old Will Love
If you're on the hunt for the perfect gift for a little one, get them an educational toy! Not all learning tools are boring; there are so many entertaining games that help kids build their cognitive and motor skills. If you have a 6-year-old on your hands, we rounded up a list of options they'll love. From spelling bee games to robots, these picks help young ones challenge themselves while expanding their minds. Shop our top choices.
Articles
