Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
mardi 19 février 2019
We Asked a Trainer How Often You'd Need to Walk to Lose Weight, and Her Answer Is Surprising
If you're new to working out, it's entirely possible for you to burn fat and lose weight simply by walking. But just how often would you need to walk to get there? That's the question we posed to Anna Victoria, a NASM-certified personal trainer and creator of the Body Love app.
"I would say that about 30 minutes three times a week is a good amount to walk in order to see progress," Anna said. "What you want to do is to get your heart rate within the LISS (or low-intensity steady state) range." LISS cardio is cardio that's performed at a lower intensity but for a longer period of time, and it's known to help jump-start weight loss.
So, how can you ensure you're in that zone? For LISS cardio, you should be able to talk while you walk, Anna explained. If you're going so fast that you can't hold a conversation, you're doing more intense cardio. On a treadmill, that's around 3.8 to 4 mph.
Once you're ready to pick up the pace, Anna suggested trying intervals. Instead of walking longer, increase the intensity. Use those 30 minutes to do LISS for one minute, then light jogging for one minute, and so on.
Of course, nutrition is also key if you want to see results. "You can't work off a bad diet, especially with just walking," Anna said. Cut back on processed foods and those that are high in sugar, and eat a balanced diet of lean protein, good carbs, and healthy fats. "As long as you're doing that, then you should be able to see progress," she said.
Considered Trying WW? Here's Everything You Need to Know About the Program
It seems like everyone knows someone who's been on WW. Personally, I've been on several different versions of the program over the years - dating back to the time when it was still known as Weight Watchers - and I've found success with each one. What I find most refreshing about WW is that you don't necessarily feel like you're on a diet, because you can still eat whatever you want. It's just a matter of teaching yourself best practices in choosing good foods.
If you're considering trying WW for yourself but aren't entirely sure what to expect, we've put together a crash course, covering everything from what to eat to how to track your SmartPoints. Here's to finding your own success, whatever that means for you.
9 Common Side Effects of Intermittent Fasting and How to Deal With Them
While weight loss is a huge reason people try intermittent fasting (IF), there are tons of other health benefits. You may experience reduced inflammation, improved digestion, reduced bloating, increased mental clarity, better sleep, and getting a handle on sugar cravings and food addiction.
You're ready to give it a try, but you need to be aware of some not-so-awesome side effects that you'll likely experience in the beginning. POPSUGAR caught up with Stephanie Ferrari, a registered dietitian, who said, "Think about it this way - people don't go from couch potato to triathlete overnight. Your body needs time to acclimate to any extreme changes. So you're going to experience some side effects when you suddenly stop eating for long periods of time." These can be unbearable at the beginning, but as long as you know how to deal with them, you'll be able to stick with IF and reap all the benefits.
Before starting any new diet plan, including intermittent fasting, be sure to check in with your doctor first.
1. Hunger
When you're used to eating five to six times a day, your body comes to expect food at certain times. Stephanie said, "The hormone ghrelin is responsible for making us feel hungry. It typically peaks at breakfast, lunch, and dinner time and is partially regulated by food intake. When you first start fasting, ghrelin levels will continue to peak and you will feel hungry." At first, it will take serious willpower. Days three through five may feel the worst, but there will come a time when you reach the beginning of your eating window and you don't even feel hungry!
Dr. Luiza Petre, a nutrition and weight-loss specialist and board-certified cardiologist, suggests combating hunger in that first week or two by drinking tons of water to keep your belly full, help you feel more alert, and help satiate that habit of having to put something in your mouth. Within 30 minutes of waking up, pound at least 12 ounces. If you feel a pang of hunger, drink another 12 ounces or more. One thing intermittent fasting will teach you is that what you thought was hunger was probably thirst or boredom.
Drinking black coffee and tea can also curb hunger. Also get enough sleep, keep busy, and avoid strenuous workouts in the first couple weeks, since that can increase hunger. Eating enough the day before and getting your fill of carbs, healthy fats, and protein is also key in preventing hunger.
2. Cravings
Stephanie said, "If I told you that you couldn't eat watermelon ever again, chances are, all you'd want to do is eat a slice of watermelon. During intermittent fasting, you're going extralong periods without eating. So chances are, you'll only be able to think about eating. That's when the cravings kick in. You'll also find that you're more likely to crave sweets and/or refined carbohydrates because your body is looking for that glucose hit."
Do whatever you can to not think about food, and be sure to indulge a little during your feeding window so you have the chance to satisfy those cravings.
3. Headaches
As your body is getting used to this new eating schedule, dull headaches that come and go are pretty common. POPSUGAR caught up with Edward Vasquez, who has an intermittent fasting YouTube channel called Fledge Fitness which offers information, tips, and inspiration for IF. He said dehydration can be one factor, so make sure you're drinking tons of water during both your fasting and feeding windows.
Stephanie adds that headaches can also be caused by blood sugar levels decreasing and by stress hormones released by your brain while fasting. With time, your body will get used to this new eating schedule, but try to remain as stress-free as possible.
4. Low Energy
Your body is no longer getting the constant source of fuel you used to get from eating all day long, so expect to feel a little sluggish those first couple of weeks. Try to keep your day as relaxed as possible so you can exert the least amount of energy. You might want to give your workouts a break or just do light exercise like walking or yoga. Getting extra sleep may also help.
5. Irritability
Feeling hangry is real, and it sucks. Stephanie says to expect to feel a little cranky when your blood sugar levels drop or you're dealing with the other side effects of IF, like cravings and low energy. You can deal with this by avoiding situations and people that might make you more annoyed and focusing on doing things that make you happy.
6. Heartburn, Bloating, and Constipation (Oh My!)
Your stomach produces acid to help digest your food, so when you're not eating, you may experience heartburn (this side effect isn't as common as the others). This could range from mild discomfort to burping all day to full-on pain. Time should cure this side effect, so just keep drinking water, prop yourself up when you sleep, and when you do eat, avoid greasy, spicy foods that could make your heartburn worse. If it doesn't go away, speak to your doctor.
Intermittent fasting can also cause constipation if you're not staying hydrated, which can cause bloating and discomfort. Stephanie suggests drinking tons of water to prevent this issue, which can also help prevent headaches, and make you feel more energized.
7. Feeling Cold
Cold fingers and toes while fasting is pretty common, but for a good reason! When you fast, blood flow increases to your fat stores. Called adipose tissue blood flow, this helps to move fat to your muscles, where it can be burned as a fuel. Stephanie says that when your blood sugar decreases, that can also make you more sensitive to feeling cold. Combat coldness by sipping hot tea, taking warm showers, wearing extra layers, and avoiding being outside in the cold for prolonged periods of time.
8. Overeating
Edward also brought up this negative side effect, and Stephanie agrees. People tend to overeat in the beginning of the IF journey, either because they heard calories don't matter (they do!) or because they are so excited about food that they overdo it. Planning out your meals ahead of time can keep portions in check.
You may also feel so famished by the time your fasting window ends that you eat really fast and end up eating way more than you normally would. Stephanie warns, "When the fasting period is over during IF, you need to be mindful about your first meal. You may feel like reaching for a slice a pizza (or four), but opt for the grilled chicken and salad instead. Your future self will thank you."
9. Bathroom Trips
Because you're drinking oceans of water to stay hydrated and fill you up, you're going to feel the need to run to the bathroom more often. We're talking maybe even twice an hour! Sorry to say there's no way around this. You definitely don't want to reduce your water intake, so just make sure you're always close to a bathroom.
Also Important: Know When to Quit
All of this sounds pretty bad, but I speak from experience - these symptoms generally only last a week, maybe three at most. The best way to alleviate the side effects is to ease into intermittent fasting - don't go from eating six meals a day to eating two. Dr. Petre adds, "Just give it some time and intermittent fasting becomes natural and healthy, with less appetite, more mental sharpness, and an enviable waistline in the long run."
Always Listen to Your Body
Stephanie says, "Intermittent fasting is not for everyone. For example, people with diabetes, pregnant or nursing mothers, and children should not practice intermittent fasting. People who are managing chronic illnesses should always check in with their doctor prior to starting any new diet or eating regime. Finally, anyone with a history of or risk for developing eating disorders should avoid fasting of any kind."
There is a time when these side effects shouldn't be ignored. Stephanie says, "IF might not be for you if you experience dizziness due to low blood sugar, if fasting is interfering with your ability to keep up with your responsibilities, or you develop an unhealthy obsession with food." You may need to cut your fast short and eat earlier than you planned, or you may need to stop fasting altogether. If you have any concerns or issues, it's always a good idea to consult your doctor.
See How Sore 2 Dumbbells Can Make You With This 30-Minute Full-Body Workout
Want to get in a total-body strength training workout in just 30 minutes? Grab some dumbbells and let's do this! This interval workout involves pretty basic dumbbell moves, but there's not much rest between exercises, so you'll definitely work your muscles - expect to feel sore tomorrow!
Keep two pairs of weights close by so you can go lighter or heavier if you need to. My CrossFit coach always says to challenge yourself and start with the heavier weights; it's just 40 seconds, so move slowly if you need to.
30-Minute Dumbbell Workout
Equipment needed: Two pairs of light- to medium-weight dumbbells (three to 25 pounds) and a sturdy wooden box or bench. You'll also need a clock or stopwatch to keep track of your intervals.
Directions: Follow the five-minute warmup ahead, then complete this 30-minute workout. Focus on moving with control and with proper form, getting in 12 to 18 reps in each 40-second interval. There's no rest between each six-minute workout, but if you need to take 30 to 60 seconds, go ahead. Finish with a five-minute cooldown; try this this stretching sequence.
| Warmup: Repeat as many times as possible in 5 minutes |
|---|
| 10 gate swings |
| 10 forward backward lunges (5 per side) |
| 10 plank shoulder taps |
| 0:00-6:00 | Repeat 3x |
|---|---|
| 40 seconds dumbbell thrusters, 20 seconds rest | |
| 40 seconds upright row, 20 seconds rest | |
| 6:01-12:00 | Repeat 3x |
| 40 seconds alternating lunges with biceps curl, 20 seconds rest | |
| 40 seconds bent-over reverse fly, 20 seconds rest | |
| 12:01-18:00 | Repeat 3x |
| 40 seconds seated Russian twist, 20 seconds rest | |
| 40 seconds chest press, 20 seconds rest | |
| 18:01-24:00 | Repeat 3x |
| 40 seconds dumbbell deadlift, 20 seconds rest | |
| 40 seconds plank with row, 20 seconds rest | |
| 24:01-30:00 | Repeat 3x |
| 40 seconds dumbbell step up, 20 seconds rest | |
| 40 seconds wide biceps curls, 20 seconds rest |
Keep reading for details on how to do each move.
Can Walking in Place Help You Lose Weight? A Weight-Loss Doctor Explains
Walking is one of the most effective, sustainable, and easy-to-start workouts you can choose. All you need is a pair of comfy shoes to start burning calories and reaping some mental benefits, too. John Morton, MD, weight-loss expert and chief of bariatric surgery at Stanford University, told POPSUGAR that you actually "meditate a little bit when you walk."
So, our next question: What about walking in place? If you can't get away from the desk, or it's too cold to go outside and you're short on space at home, is doing some in-place walking or marching going to help you burn calories, too?
Well, to some extent. "I like regular walking more, because you incorporate more body parts," Dr. Morton said. That means it's a better method for losing weight; more movement equals more calories burned. It's also preferable "because you get more of a true gait, which includes pendulum swings from your arms. Walking in place is a little artificial, and can be repetitive on the joints."
You also won't get quite the same mental break and benefits that "regular" walking will give you: seeing those "horizons and vistas," Dr. Morton said, "gives you a break from the stresses of everyday life."
Still, Dr. Morton stressed that walking in place is better than nothing. It might be a good place to start if you're just getting into your fitness journey; you can do it from anywhere, at your desk at work or in your bedroom at home. You can even try the popular Walk at Home workouts on YouTube and DVD, and check out Adrienne Walter's 90-pound weight loss success story for proof that they really do work. Once you work up your confidence and fitness level, you can progress to short walks around your neighborhood, or on the treadmill.
All in all, the best way to reach your weight loss goals is to start from where you are and take a consistent, sustainable approach, Dr. Morton said. "Just find something that works for you."
This Is What Dietitians Want You to Know If You're Drinking Celery Juice For Weight Loss
Move over, kale, cauliflower, and asparagus - celery juice is taking its place in the health food spotlight. But just because something is trending doesn't mean you should go all in without knowing the pros and cons. You may have heard anecdotal claims being made about celery juice, like it helps you sleep better, improves inflammation, and can even help you lose weight. To find out the benefits of drinking celery juice and if it will help you lose weight, POPSUGAR spoke to a few experts.
Walking Can Help Burn Belly Fat, but Only If You Follow This Trainer's Advice
If you think there's no point in exercising if you can't crush it in the gym for an hour, think again. Doing 30 minutes of aerobic activity like walking can help burn belly fat, slimming your waist and preventing conditions like heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
Numerous studies have supported this, such as a 2007 study published in the International Journal of Obesity, which concluded that aerobic exercise like brisk walking is essential for visceral fat reduction, and a past study published in Environmental Health and Preventative Medicine found that women who walked less than 7,500 steps a day had more belly fat than those who met or exceeded that goal.
But while walking can definitely help burn belly fat, it's not quite that simple, Steven Goelzer, a certified personal trainer and metabolic specialist at Life Time Athletic in Laguna Nigel, CA, told POPSUGAR. "Burning fat depends way more on hormones than the type of workout you're doing," Goelzer said. "Low-intensity exercise (like walking) should burn a high percentage of fat, but the volume of training needed does not necessarily fit well in most people's schedules," he added, noting that a person's metabolism also helps determine how much walking they'd need to do to start to burn fat.
Lifestyle plays an even bigger role in belly fat - it's essential that you eat right and work to keep stress at bay, he explained. Of course, walking can help with both of these things, but together they're a factor in how much belly fat you're able to burn. "Too many things contribute to say just one thing will make losing belly fat easier," Goelzer said.
To stay healthy and maximize your fat-burning potential, Goelzer recommends walking six times a week for 30 minutes or more. Regular exercise and a steady adherence to a long-term program - along with a healthy diet and stress management - is your best bet for overall health, he added.
Don't Believe All the Fad-Diet Hype - Losing Fat Boils Down to These 7 Basics
It seems like every day there's a new headline on the internet or a new coverline on a magazine promising you can slim down in days, shed belly fat with just one ab move, and completely transform your body with one specific fad diet.
In reality, losing fat (which is really what people want to lose when they lose weight) boils down to these simple basics. We tapped registered dietitians and personal trainers, who explained how to lose body fat and keep it off for good. For starters, you'll want to get rid of that Shake Weight and those weird body-wrap things and actually start eating carbs (yes, carbs!). Scroll through for more expert tips.
If You're Fed Up With Belly Fat, Experts Say Do These 14 Things to Say Goodbye Forever
If you haven't been able to lose your belly fat on your own, we've asked experts to share the tips and advice they use with clients to help them lose belly fat for good. Vermont-based registered dietitian and nutritionist Maddie Kinzly, MS, LD, told POPSUGAR that while you can't choose where on your body you gain or lose fat (sorry, boobs!), some people are more predisposed to holding weight in their bellies.
Although you can't specifically tell your tummy to slim down on command, Kinzly said you can see reductions in your belly fat and other areas of your body when you lose weight overall and reduce your body fat percentage. Here's what you can do to start losing belly fat right now.
Build Muscle With This Upper-Body Workout That Doesn't Contain a Single Push-Up
There's always one exercise, (or three or four) that no matter how strong we get, is always challenging. Then there are the exercises we just can't stand. If push-ups are your kryptonite, but you still want strong arms, I created this upper-body circuit for you. You'll work your biceps, triceps, chest, and back without ever doing a single push-up.
And, before you get on me about a push-up free workout, let the record show that I have nothing against push-ups, and I think they're a great exercise. This workout was designed for those who are beginners and cannot do push-ups just yet, those who have wrist injuries, and those who want to expand their upper-body exercise repertoire. Now that we've cleared that up, it's time to get started.
The Workout
Before jumping into the circuit, warm up with exercises like jumping jacks and plank walkouts. As a refresher, a circuit means that you'll complete the designated reps of each of the exercises listed, and take little to no rest as you transition to the next exercise. Once you've done all the exercises to complete the circuit, take 90 seconds to two minutes of rest before starting your next round. Repeat this circuit for a total of four rounds.
- Crab walks: 10 reps
- Dumbbell bench press: 12 reps
- Bent-over row: 12 reps
- Banded assisted pull-ups: five reps for beginners, 10 reps (can be done without the band) for those who are more advanced
- Bicep curl and overhead press: 12 reps
Don't forget to adequately cool down afterward.
The Beckham Family Leads the Way as Stars Hit London Fashion Week
London Fashion Week is in full swing, and that means the great and good of international fashion have landed in the British capital. Victoria Beckham showed her latest collection on Saturday, and followed it with a star-studded party that included guests like Chris Rock, Alexa Chung, and Luke Wilson, as well as her ever-supportive husband David, and son Brooklyn and his girlfriend Hana Cross. Elsewhere, Idris Elba and his fiancée Sabrina Dhowre hit the Roland Mouret show, and a whole host of talent turned up to see what Erdem had in store for Fall 2019. See all the best photos from London's most stylish week ahead.
New Moms: Just Say No to Frequent Visitors Right After Birth
When people hear you're going into labor (and by people I mean friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc.), everyone will be dying to meet the brand-new baby. Forget how exhausted you are or if you're recovering from any kind of birth trauma: it's all about the baby. You? No one cares. Sure, maybe a handful of people will ask how you are, but most will push your tired butt aside and say, "Give me that kid!"
It's a sad reality for us moms that no one quite cares how labor went but they do care how the baby is. And who can blame folks for wanting to see your little bundle of joy? Not us! We love them more than the visitors do, but I can guarantee you that the visitors will want to come in droves. You're probably thinking, "Oh sure, I can't wait to have everyone see the baby," but before you start planning visitors to filter in after Junior or Princess arrives, heed my advice carefully.
I personally had no one, and yes, I mean no one, other than her dad and myself, see the baby for the first night she was here. I had my daughter at 6:06 p.m. after 24 hours of labor, five of pushing, and ending with a C-section. I was beat. Our parents didn't arrive until early afternoon the next day, and that was about it for the following few days until I felt ready for visitors and a bit better after my C-section. Why did I put the "no visitors" vibe up? Here's why:
You'll Never Get Those Moments Back Again
It was our first and only child. For those of you with more than one child, consider how differently your post-labor or C-section life was with baby number one . . . and then baby number two. With your first child - and for some of us our only - you'll never get those quiet moments of just mom, dad, and baby again. Even if you have a million kids, don't you want to cherish those first few hours with just your immediate family? The first nursing or feeding. The first time you hold your baby. Do you really need a ton of fanfare, or is it just nice to have some private intimacy when you've brought another being into the world?
I wanted the privacy and time to simply drink in what had just happened: I became a mom. He became a dad. Give us a few hours to cherish these moments before all the noise and craziness of people, opinions, and presents come to shower in on our little world.
Sssh. Let it be quiet. For just a bit.
Nursing
I didn't want anyone to make me anxious or uncomfortable while I was trying to nurse for the first time. Plus, even after the grandparents came, we still kept it quiet with visitors until I could get into a better rhythm - or, in other words, could get my daughter to latch well instead of continuing to latch shallowly so my nipples bled. With fewer people to fawn, fuss, and add their two cents, nursing got off to a good start for me. Yes, we had latch issues, but because I kept the visitors list short, we could work on this with a lactation consultant and my ex-husband could focus on supporting me. I can't tell you how glad I am that we did this. Never once do I think, "Gee, I wish we had more visitors that first week of our child's life!"
Hormones (and Food)
Hello, hormones! Nope, they don't stop. At least not for a while postpartum. The crying and emotional moments? Yeah, I preferred to let those happen in front of people I was close to, namely my husband at the time. Not to mention I had endured hyperemesis gravidarum during my pregnancy and was finally hungry after birth. I wanted to eat and start to feel better while dealing with the crying and mood swings among "my peeps" and not the adoring audience for my daughter.
Plus, who feels superawesome when they're wearing a maxi pad the size of a car, trying to poop, and dealing with bloody nipples and potentially ginormous and superengorged breasts while trying to change a diaper for the first time and waddle around post-C-section or birth? Nobody! It's nice to feel a little crappy and achy and emotional without the whole peanut gallery around.
Routine
It was great to get into a little routine during the time my ex was off from work for the first two weeks of my daughter's life. Scheduling visitors properly helped any disruptions in our new parent routine. It made our lives go more smoothly when he went back to work and I was home by myself as a new stay-at-home mother. Plus, by that time, I was dying for visitors and ready. Do you remember, mommies, what it felt like the first time you took your baby out in the world all by yourself? I do. It felt like a victory just lifting the car seat alone!
No matter what you decide, consider who you want to visit you and when before the baby is here so you have an idea of the amount of chaos you want to invite into your home and hospital - or not. And don't feel bad if you need to say, "Hey, best friend. I am bleeding like a stuck pig and am having a tough time with nursing. Can you see me in another few days?" You don't owe anyone an apology for holding off on visiting. All you need to focus on is your new family member or members!
So . . . Is Colton Hopping That Fence on The Bachelor Anytime Soon?
After all of the promos hinting at this week's Bachelor drama, it's no wonder many of us thought this would be the week of Colton Underwood's already infamous fence jump. But another week has gone by, and the scene still hasn't happened. With this week's focus on Colton second-guessing whether some of the contestants are only there to become the next Bachelorette, we're wondering what could be more dramatic than that?
Before this week's episode aired, though, host Chris Harrison actually revealed that the fence jump wouldn't be taking place yet. Harrison told Entertainment Tonight that there are still "a few episodes" left until the fence jump happens - so don't hold your breath, people.
With hometown dates on the horizon, it seems likely that the jump will happen during the same episode as the fantasy suites. If Colton is visiting the final four ladies' hometowns, he's probably not going to strand one person in order to jump a fence. During the fantasy suite episode, though, it's more likely that the ladies will be all in one place, which could lead to his attempted escape if there's more fighting.
And while Colton's escape definitely looks shocking for TV, it was pretty daring in real life, as well. In his conversation with ET, Harrison likened the former football player to "a gazelle being chased by a cheetah." He was determined to extract himself from the situation, doing whatever he had to in order to get a few moments alone.
"This is your life," Harrison told the outlet. "This is hopefully the woman of your dreams and somebody you're going to spend the rest of your life with. You should care about that. You should want to fight for that; you should want to leap over a fence for that. That's kind of where he was. He was, when push came to shove, he was ready to push back."
Hopefully Colton will find love at the end of this Bachelor season and all of the dramatic moments will be worth it. And if he does end up marrying someone from the show, they can always laugh about the fence jump at their wedding. (Or not.)
Ben Higgins Popped Up on The Bachelor, and Now We Just Want to Know If He's Single
Bachelor Nation has gotten to know Ben Higgins throughout different stages of his life. After a recent cameo on The Bachelor, we couldn't help but wonder what this handsome man has been up to. We know that the cofounder of Generous International LLC and podcast host at iHeartMedia is very focused on his career, but - forgive us for asking - is he single?
Ben started out pining for Kaitlyn Bristowe's heart during season 11 of The Bachelorette, and after being runner-up, he became the leading man on season 20 of The Bachelor. He proposed to Lauren Bushnell at the final rose ceremony, and their engagement seemed picture-perfect; the duo even landed their own show, Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After?. Sadly, they broke up. Ben ended up on The Bachelor Winter Games, which he left early because he wasn't in the right mind space to be there. It's been a while since then, and it looks like his love life is headed in a positive direction.
First, let's rewind. Ben and Lauren broke up in May 2017, and we didn't get a reason as to why it didn't work out right away. Lauren expressed that she was hurt that Ben loved JoJo Fletcher, the runner-up on his season, even though he loved Lauren more. Pressure from the public eye also seemed to play a role in the split. Although Lauren had moved to Denver to be with Ben, the two ultimately couldn't make it work.
It appeared that Ben was ready to try dating again when he signed on to The Bachelor Winter Games. However, it didn't take long for him to realize that he shouldn't be there. He decided to leave and told Chris Harrison (in reference to his failed engagement), "As much as I've moved on, and I have, it still hurts." At that point, it seemed that Ben was not ready to date just yet, but things have changed since then.
In August 2018, Ben told Us Weekly, "I'm not dating but am interesting in dating, open to dating." Now for the million-dollar question: is Ben dating anyone? Yes! On the Jan. 14 episode of The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast, when the two Bachelor alumni interviewed Colton Underwood, Ben confirmed there is someone special in his life.
"I was just telling someone the other day I started dating again," Ben said on the podcast. "This is big news, right? I am dating." Although we don't have the name of that person, we'll probably find out who she is soon. "I'm actually dating one person that we will talk about in a couple weeks on the podcast."
In the following week's podcast, Ben confirmed that his relationship is long-distance, and since there was some speculation, no, "she's not from Colton's season." We're not naming names (because we genuinely don't have them), but sleuths on Reddit have some ideas.
Back in 2017, Ben said that it wasn't totally out of the question that he would sign on as the Bachelor again. But it looks like he wouldn't do it at this point . . . for the best possible reason!
Why Did Ben Affleck Stop Playing Batman? He Says He Couldn't "Crack It"
I've gotta be honest: Ben Affleck seems remarkably chill about the fact he's no longer going to be playing Batman in the DC film franchise.
Despite appearing as the caped crusader in three recent movies - Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, and Justice League - Affleck is hanging up his batsuit to make way for a younger version of the character, who will take over the mantle in 2021's The Batman. Rather than making his retirement from the character a big to-do, Affleck retweeted the news of his departure in January, adding, "Excited for #TheBatman in Summer 2021 and to see @MattReevesLA vision come to life."
He continued his streak of taking it all in stride while sitting down with Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday to promote his next film, Triple Frontier. Naturally, the discussion led to Batman, and the 46-year-old star had a fairly simple explanation as for why he's stepping away.
"I tried to direct a version of it and worked with a really good screenwriter but just couldn't come up with a version - I couldn't crack it and so I thought it's time for someone else to take a shot at it," he said. "They got some really good people so I'm excited."
Watch him explain above, and keep your eyes peeled for a cameo from Jimmy Kimmel Live!'s Guillermo Rodriguez dressed up in an old-school Robin uniform as they retire Affleck's cape.
Why These Scented Doughnut Plush Pikmi Pops Are THE Collectible Kids Will Want in 2019
Pikmi Pops, the collectible plush toys that come in adorable lollipop packaging, are getting a doughnut makeover for their fourth season. Moose Toys's Pikmi Pops DoughMis are sweetly scented plush animal characters shaped like doughnuts that come in looks-good-enough-to-eat frosted doughnut packaging. There are more than 40 plush characters to collect - like unicorns, sloths, and hedgehogs - which are all inspired in some way by a doughnut flavor and have one of 10 delicious scents (I opened up a pink llama named Jools that smells just like caramel).
DoughMis will be available at all major US retailers on March 1 in a variety of packs: a single pack containing one mystery common, rare, special-edition, or limited-edition small doughnut animal plush ($5); a surprise pack with one mystery common, rare, special-edition, or superset medium plush, one of 15 mystery jelly Pikmis in the doughnut's center, and accessories ($11); or a large pack with one jumbo plush that is visible upon purchase and one, two, or three surprises ($20). Get an exclusive sneak peek at the sweet plush cuties your kids are going to be begging to collect ahead!
Reading a Book by a Nigerian Author Changed My Life - Here Are 6 Others That Might Change Yours
The first time I picked up a book by a Nigerian author, I was in college, sifting through my understanding of what it meant to be black. The book was Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and it's safe to say it changed my life.
The main character, Ifemelu, is forced to contend with her own blackness for the first time when she moves to America - a process that is foreign to someone whose race is thrust upon them the moment they enter the world. Before Adichie, I was well-versed in the imaginings of blackness through the American lens - both black and white. I understood the deafening cloud of oppression and the persistent struggle that weaves its way through every narrative. I understood that blackness, even when unmentioned, always lurked quietly in the background - easily called up when a new character crossed the page.
Americanah is different. Ifemelu is black but not in the way the American characters in the book are; not in the way that I am. Her blackness is more solid somehow, unburdened by quarter-white 23andMe test results and a torrid history that is danced around delicately. She looks at black American culture from a precarious distance and conceptualizes race in a way that is captivating because while she's aware of it, she isn't consumed by it. She learns what it means to be black over the course of the novel - because race isn't something she is forced to consider before she arrives in America.
It's the perspective I didn't know I needed as a young, queer black girl looking to understand myself.
It made me reexamine my understandings of race and its mere existence as a category. It's the perspective I didn't know I needed as a young, queer black girl looking to understand myself. From there I fell in love with Adichie and Nigerian authors as a whole (seriously, it's all I talk about on the 'gram). And while no two authors are the same, they all share the ability to create bodies of work where blackness isn't prescriptive but descriptive. Their worlds are often filled with black characters who are just living, which taught me that I could just live, too.
Although I have my own personal infatuation with Nigerian authors, they're part of a new generation of young Nigerian artists captivating readers worldwide. In early 2017, The New York Times reported the renaissance taking place on the continent and the ways their works challenge and address age-old taboos and traditions that went previously unaddressed. The result is vibrant and energetic prose - work that delights, haunts, and travels everywhere from the streets of Lagos to small, American towns.
Ahead, I've rounded up the contemporary Nigerian authors you need to read now - and which books to start with.
Badass Bo Peep Teams Up With Woody on a Rescue Misson in This Toy Story 4 Clip
Are you ready for a whole new Little Bo Peep, Toy Story fans? Because she's taking control in the fourth film, and we personally can't wait to see her in action. Fortunately, we got a little taste of what she'll be like courtesy of Good Morning America on Friday.
A few weeks after Disney revealed her badass makeover (above), the voice of Bo Peep, Annie Potts, stopped by GMA to share a new clip from Toy Story 4 featuring her character. In it, we see Bo Peep and Woody teaming up with the rest of the toys - Buzz, Jessie, the Barbies, Slinky, and more - to try to get a bedroom window open so they can escape and rescue a toy stranded outside in a rain-filled gutter. It's a tense, exciting scene, but it also shows Bo in her flouncy dress and bonnet - so, what's the deal?
According to Potts, the scene is actually a flashback to before her character decided to ditch her frilly skirt for some practical pants and a pretty awesome cape. "Bo's got some 'tude now," Potts joked.
Although Bo appears in the previous films as the pretty, soft-spoken, and a little bit sarcastic toy who Woody has a big ol' crush on in Andy's bedroom, we're excited to see her break out of her casing for the fourth installment of the Disney Pixar franchise. According to a press release celebrating Potts's addition to the cast, the studio wrote that she and Woody haven't seen each other "in years," and that Bo has become "chipped and faded" over time.
"Bo's strength and sarcasm always belied her delicate porcelain exterior, and it turns out she's an adventure-seeking free spirit who feels right at home on the road. When she and Woody are reunited under unlikely circumstances, they realize they've grown worlds apart when it comes to life as a toy."
It will be interesting to see how she fits into Woody's new world, especially since Toy Story 4 was originally pitched as a romantic comedy featuring the two before evolving into a story that involves Tony Hale's new character, Forky.
Colorists Break Down the 5 Hair Trends Everyone Will Be Getting in Spring
Spring is a complex, mysterious citadel of delights. Sometimes it rains. These days, it also sometimes snows. One minute you're KonMari-ing your apartment to the brink of extinction, and the next you're wondering how you'll possibly make that salon appointment you forgot to cancel without a raincoat. The seasonal confusion is coming at you from every angle, but the solution here is simple: dye your hair.
Yeah, you heard us. Dye it a color that brings the sunshine, sparks some joy, and, most importantly, won't change by 5 p.m. (Hello? It's me, stability.) "The mood for Spring is always lighter, brighter, and a lot more fun," said George Papanikolas, Matrix celebrity colorist. If the clouds would part for long enough, you'd see that the hair color forecast looks like the return of vivid colors, creamy shades of blond, and more - but you can just read all about it ahead. Umbrellas are, obviously, welcome.
A Trainer Says This Is the Best Workout to Do If You Want to Lose Weight and Build Muscle
If your goal is to lose weight and build muscle, you may be wondering if it's possible to do both simultaneously and, if so, where you should begin. To answer the first question: yes, it is possible for you to build muscle and lose weight at the same time. In order to accomplish both goals, you're going to need to be strategic about your style of training, how often you train, and making sure you're providing your body with enough fuel and time to recover. Here's what you need to know in order to lose weight (and, really, what you want to be losing is fat) and build muscle simultaneously.
Busy Philipps Explains Why She Works Out For Her Mental Health: "It's Just Not a Choice"
Busy Philipps cracks us up on her E! late-night talk show Busy Tonight and with her silly Instagram posts. But when it comes to her health and fitness plan, Busy takes it very seriously. As in, she rarely misses a workout. And it's not for any aesthetic reasons; for her, getting in her exercise is non-negotiable.
"It's not about motivation; it's just not a choice," Busy told POPSUGAR at the "Gut Check Gym" event in NYC on Jan. 25 to promote Kellogg's new probiotic, prebiotic, and fiber-packed cereal HI! Happy Inside. "There's no, 'Oh, I'm glad I feel better,' or, 'My body's going to be so hot.' That's not propelling me at all. It is literally just, I have no choice. I have to do this thing."
One main reason she does work out, though, is for her mental health. Even though she said she knows you get feel-good endorphins when you exercise, she knows it's tough if you're feeling particularly anxious or depressed.
"I've had moments in the last few years where I've been hysterically crying in my car in front of my workout, and I'm looking at the clock, and then I just get out of my car, and go in, and do it, and then afterwards of course I'm like, 'This feels amazing. I feel so much better,'" she said. "Even if it's not 100 percent gone . . . I've cried through workouts. I've really pushed myself in that way, and I've just made the decision of just getting myself in the door, even if I didn't want to, just getting myself in the door."
Over the last few years, Busy has made going to work out in the morning part of her daily routine, so much so that she doesn't even question it any more. "If you are a person, who the cloud settles in your brain, and you can feel it, and you get the anxiety, or depression, or whatever . . . the routine takes over, and so it's not even a question," she said. "It's like, 'Well of course, I don't want to get out of bed,' but the routine sort of forces you to go."
Busy's workout of choice is LEKFit, a trampoline-based workout in Los Angeles. "I love it because it's low-impact and I have a lot of knee issues," she said. "You get a really intense, really hard workout but I don't feel the impact on my lower body in terms of my knees hurting or my hips hurting." She also likes to do Y7, the hot yoga studio, when she's in New York and hikes near her home in LA.
Busy's commitment to fitness is inspiring, especially because she's not concerned with looking a certain way. The mental and physical health benefits of exercise are so prolific, it's important to just show up - even if you don't feel like it.
11 Chic Travel Pants So You Never Sweat in Your Skinny Jeans on the Plane Again
Every time I pack for a trip, I always end up taking a pair of skinny jeans that I never wear, and I've decided to give up the habit this season. During those hot Summer months, tight pants are the last thing that sound comfortable. Instead of suffering on a long plane ride or walking around a scorching city in unbearably rigid jeans, I'm going to try wearing cropped wide-leg trousers or linen pants. These pant styles can be both professional and paired with sandals and taken to the beach. If you're interested, check out these comfortable options to keep you cool.
14 Instagram Accounts For Blerd Girls Who Are Looking to Invigorate Their Timeline
Back in the day, "nerd" was one of the worst things someone could call you. Nowadays, there's a little piece of nerd pie for everyone to get in on. Folks are embracing their nerd-dom, and a lot of black people are claiming space in a community that we haven't always felt invited to. As blerds - aka black nerds - we've been building communities that center the black perspective on all things nerdy, whether that be anime, video games, or comic books.
As black women, it can be a little harder finding our ground in those communities, because there's still a stigma in being a nerdy woman - yes, this is where those pesky intersecting identities come into play. While there are definitely people and groups that appeal to all blerds, it's always nice to learn about the blerd women who are out there giving us the content we want and need. Ahead, we've rounded up a few Instagram accounts that will satisfy all your blerdy needs, and give you the community you've been looking for.
Rihanna Won Valentine's Day With This Red-on-Red Beauty Look
Some chose to get into the holiday spirit with vibrant red lips and sweeps of pink shadow on their lids. Some wore their hair in romantic, cascading waves. Ahead, see the celebrity Valentine's Day beauty looks we loved.
Innisfree Is Giving Away Toy Story Themed Bags for President's Day, and OMG They're Adorable
Now, you can take your favorite Toy Story characters with you to infinity and beyond. For Innisfree's Presidents Day sale, it is giving out Baggu bags (reusable nylon totes) decorated with the heroes of the film to reward members who make purchases of $50 or more.
Last year, the K-beauty brand debuted its Toy Story collection - a limited-edition 14-piece skincare collection that includes your favorite characters from the movie. Now you can get a tote to match. The catch: the sale ends on Presidents Day.
Alicia Keys May Be Able to Simultaneously Play 2 Pianos, but Ellen DeGeneres Can Do THIS
Oh, you thought Alicia Keys simultaneously playing two pianos was impressive? Ellen DeGeneres recently revealed her "hidden talent," and it definitely surpasses that memorable 2019 Grammy Awards moment. "It's impressive - and I wasn't gonna bring this up - but when she did it, it reminded me I used to do that trick in bars growing up," DeGeneres said. The talk-show host then proceeded to play a clip of herself playing two pianos with all four limbs at once. Who knew? No matter how silly the award show spoof may be, chances are it'll still get a chuckle out of you. Watch it above.
10 Inspiring Game of Thrones Quotes That You Need This Week (and Every Week)
Sure, the battles in Game of Thrones are undeniably epic, but nothing is quite as epic as the words exchanged between our favorite Westeros residents. From hilarious quips to profound statements, the show knows how to deliver some serious food for thought - especially when those quotes come directly from George R. R. Martin's books. If you're in need of some inspiring words to keep you going this week (or to keep you going until Game of Throne's eighth season finally premieres), check out the gallery to hear some wise words from Tyrion Lannister, Lord Varys, and Lord Petyr Baelish, as well as a few more surprising sources.
Upgrade Your Shades With the 5 Biggest Sunglasses Trends of the Year
Say goodbye to your tiny sunglasses and your classic tortoise pair that's getting dusty in the box. We've scanned the streets and shopped the accessory section at our favorite retailers to bring you the five biggest trends of 2019. Some of these shapes, like the visor, may be familiar to you, but they're revamped in new colorways. We're also introducing the hexagon lens, which is a boss-lady style that's on the rise. Ahead, jump to the design you already know you love, or read through the full lineup of must haves.
This Luxurious Montreal Wedding Will Take Your Breath Away With Its Elegant Charm
Marcus and Farrah tied the knot in an elegant classic wedding at the Ritz Carlton in Farrah's hometown of Montreal. Guests from all over the globe were invited to celebrate the union of this glowing couple, and their wedding ceremony looked fit for royalty. "This stunning wedding had a dream team to pull it all together! No detail was left untouched," said wedding photographer Lindsay Muciy.
Farrah looked radiant in a mermaid wedding gown with lace detailing and a sweetheart neckline. She completed the look with soft makeup and a pair of classic satin Manolo Blahnik heels. She arrived to the venue in a white Rolls-Royce with red interiors that matched her bold red lip. Marcus looked sharp in a classic black tuxedo, complete with a large smile on his face. The glamorous decor inside the venue was an array of gold with pinkish hues, which were accentuated with the hundreds of candles that illuminated the space. Make sure to check out these wonderful photos, and be prepared for them to take your breath away!
Related: This Couple Had a Spectacular Wedding With a View (and a Slide!), and the Photos Are Breathtaking
Is Dating Outside Your Political Party Impossible in 2019?
A couple months before the 2016 presidential election, I came across a study that revealed that just nine percent of Republicans and eight percent of Democrats said their spouse or partner was a member of the other major political party. The study comprised survey results from the Spring of 2016 - roughly one year since then-candidate Donald Trump had launched his misogynistic, racist, xenophobic, and generally intolerant presidential campaign.
The results seemed to suggest a distinct shift from previous, similar surveys, including one from 1958 that revealed 72 percent of parents had no party preference for their child's spouse - compared to only 45 percent as of 2017. They were also in contrast with a trend of increasing interracial and interfaith marriages through the years. Party politics have indisputably become more polarized since the 1950s, especially as women have become more empowered to partake in politics and share opinions that may be different from their male partners. As feminist journalist Rebecca Solnit has pointed out, unsaid numbers of husbands have influenced or even controlled their wives' votes, and some still do today. But another stark reality is that young women - and women of all ages - are increasingly finding our voices, and this could yield long-term paradigm shifts in the worlds of dating and marriage.
For many, the option to stay silent about politics and social-justice issues with a partner in this political reality feels like a symptom of privilege at best and an impossibility at worst.
Of course, the divides between millennial women's experiences in relationships and previous generations aren't limited to politics: millennial women are getting married later, having fewer children - if having children at all - and more of them are the breadwinners in their households than ever. But their politics are different: young women have become one of the most reliably liberal political blocs, and an increasingly politically engaged one, too. Our growing independence and our politics are inextricably linked, and we're not afraid to disagree with and challenge differing views around us.
In either case, I didn't think much of the study about declining interpolitical couples at the time, even over the course of my own almost year-long relationship with a libertarian, Republican-leaning white man. (I'm an Asian-American woman.) We started dating a few months after I stumbled across the study. It would be almost three years later, at the onset of 2019, that I found myself thinking of the study once again and interrogating my own experience with an interpolitical, heterosexual, and cisgender romantic relationship.
It wasn't that my then-partner and I hadn't discussed politics. Frankly, politics was sometimes all we'd discussed, often in long, drawn out, and emotionally laborious debates that left me exhausted and disheartened. It often seemed that no amount of statistics or moral arguments I offered could convince him that something Trump had said was offensive, or that reproductive rights comprised an urgent, existential issue for many women - and specifically for me. As deeply as I wanted to show him my lived implications around issues over which we'd shared disagreements, comments he often made during our arguments deterred me from ever opening up about them. As a result, I never felt fully emotionally safe or close to him.
But why hadn't his politics bothered me enough to leave? Especially as an Asian-American daughter of immigrants, whose life had been deeply, personally affected by sexual violence and a taxing journey to access reproductive health care? The end of our relationship had been the result of disagreements over commitment; not whether abortion was a fundamental human right or the fact that he'd cast his ballot for Gary Johnson in a swing state. Three years later, with that question nagging at me, I decided to ask other women like me - specifically, liberal women of color who date men - to share their experiences in the hopes of shedding some light on my own.
What It's Really Like to Date Someone With Different Political Views
Well before 2018, Trump made his true colors clear as day. His actions since - overseeing the separation of migrant families, turning away survivors of domestic violence and children at the borders, locking migrant children in cages, and forcing a man credibly accused of sexual assault onto the Supreme Court - should have surprised no one. For many, the option to stay silent about politics and social-justice issues with a partner in this political reality feels like a symptom of privilege at best and an impossibility at worst.
In straight relationships, political gender divides carry deep implications. (Fifty-three percent of men voted for Trump over Hillary Clinton in 2016, compared with 42 percent of women.) From #MeToo and the annual Women's March to the cultural ramifications of the president's notorious "grab 'em by the p-ssy" comments, gender and politics have become deeply interwoven into the American social landscape. It's no wonder the political, gendered conflicts that play out in public spill over into personal relationships.
As I continued to think of the 2016 study, I realized my assumption had been that the only way straight couples from opposing political parties could still exist was if those couples avoided talking about politics altogether. But when I started talking to such couples, I learned it wasn't that simple. These people had a wide range of experiences based on what, exactly, was being disagreed upon, the extent of the disagreement, and general feelings about whether discussions of politics and social justice issues were respectful and productive.
Melina*, 21, dated a man who shared her Filipino heritage for three months starting in 2017. She eventually ended their relationship over their vast differences - but not, she said, before plenty of lengthy, seemingly endless conversations and debates about a range of issues. She remembers that many of their disagreements weren't always as straightforward as Democrat vs. Republican, but, as she stated several times: "Existence is political."
Melina said her then-boyfriend made victim-blaming comments about the way women dressed, expressed discomfort with the idea of having an LGBTQ+ child, was frustrated with the #MeToo movement, and seemed "overly sensitive" in conversations about race. He also pushed back on her hypothetical preference to keep her last name if she were to marry, calling it "disrespectful." She said she challenged these views every time, requiring what she called "deep emotional labor" and significant amounts of time researching facts to counter his often problematic and troubling beliefs.
"All of it showed me that in your relationship, you have to feel mentally and emotionally safe," Melina said. She said social justice had been a deeply important part of her life for years, and her relationship had started to feel contrary to these values. "I thought a lot about privilege and the ability to 'opt out' of social justice, and whether social justice really means that much to you if you can coexist with and reward harmful views."
"Coming from a diverse, liberal part of California, and meeting his traditional family in Connecticut, showed me a side of the country I hadn't known before."
Jill Serron, 20, an Indian-American student at Boston University, also talked about the realities of privilege and its role in her ongoing relationship with a white man who voted for Trump in the 2016 election. According to Serron - who said her boyfriend has since recanted his support for Trump - their relationship is not only enabled but empowered by their ability to learn from each other and examine the vastly different cultural experiences and upbringing that were the source of their disagreements.
"Coming from a diverse, liberal part of California, and meeting his traditional family in Connecticut, showed me a side of the country I hadn't known before," Serron said. "Our conversations have shown me how other people think and helped both me and him grow."
But Serron acknowledged the presence of privilege in how their desire to be together, despite their differences, sometimes relies on agreeing to drop a topic. Occasionally, she said, they simply determine that something that divides them actually has little bearing on their lives, and therefore isn't worth fighting or harming their relationship over. "And obviously, there's privilege in that," Serron said. "We can avoid talking about some things, like how we disagree sometimes about LGBTQ+ and trans issues, or about people are overreacting to things Trump does, because we're not directly affected by those things ourselves."
According to Serron, she maintains boundaries and standards for decency she would require of any partner, noting that her boyfriend has been supportive of #MeToo and survivors of sexual assault. She said their relationship has expanded both their ways of thinking despite the fact that she's a Democrat and he's a Republican
Mariah*, 21, a graphic designer based in Orange County, California, shares Serron's sense of boundaries as to how far disagreements can stretch. She met her then-boyfriend, a white man whose experiences differed vastly from hers as a Vietnamese daughter of immigrants raised in a predominantly immigrant community, on Tinder. On their first date, Mariah said he had wasted no time in launching into a "conservative rant" about economic policies and his strong support for Trump's immigration policies.
"I never interrupted him, and that seemed to surprise him: that we could have mutually very respectful conversations despite our disagreements," Mariah said. "But meeting my parents, and learning their stories - that changed and moved him a bit. We both learned a lot from each other and that was so interesting."
Mariah said she draws the line when someone's beliefs shape their treatment of other people, or when their treatment of others is fueled by feelings of supremacy and disrespect. "The fact that he wasn't like that, and he respected and listened to me, made it easy to be with him," she said. Their relationship ultimately ended for other reasons, but Mariah said they remain friends, and she would not only be open to but may even prefer to date someone with different political views again.
Can Liberal-Conservative Romances Last?
Dr. Gary Brown, a Los Angeles-based couple's therapist who has been in practice for 25 years and takes pride in his diverse practice serving couples from all backgrounds, has encountered marriages and relationships troubled with political differences before. But according to Brown, political differences are seldom the sole issue rocking romantic relationships. Instead, couples often seek his help for a litany of other serious, relatively apolitical issues.
"Whether or not you stay in a relationship with someone with whom you have opposite views, I think, might be more about whether you really love each other and have a good relationship in the first place, all of that aside," he said, noting that tolerance "can very well help a couple transcend" their political disagreements.
""With all this polarization, there comes a lot of passion."
Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist and couple's therapist based in the Chicago area, agreed that when couples who are deeply divided by political disagreements often initially come to her office seeking help with other problems. And certainly, this has become more of a trend in the last three years. "With all this polarization, there comes a lot of passion," she said.
That polarization has reached a head in the Trump era, and Lombardo said it often works in tandem with an inability to hear other views. "I call it 'conditional self-worth,' when you need others to agree with or see eye-to-eye or validate your views, to feel self-worth, when you need to be heard, so you don't let the other person speak," she said.
Lombardo posits that this is especially the case in a social media age, as we've become increasingly accustomed to sharing our views in tweets and posts in communities of mostly like-minded people. As a result, Lombardo believes people's growing need for validation could impact what they expect and demand from their partners. While she can't quite speak to generational differences in how women approach political disagreement with their partners, she can see a connection between social media and a growing need to have our beliefs validated and approved of.
According to Lombardo, there's "always a way" couples in disagreement can remain together. But certainly, that's a choice for each person to make based on their values and priorities.
How Boundaries, Mutual Respect, and Values Play a Role
But others, like Melina, see things differently, and view having basic agreements with your partner as a matter of standing up for social justice and morality in one's personal life.
For Melina, looking back at her relationship made her think of that of her parents and their upbringing in the Philippines. "I know there are things they disagree really sharply about," she said. While both of her parents are deeply religious, she said her mother tends to vote conservatively in contrast with her father's Democratic voting record. "But they don't really talk about this, and that's not always about privilege, but the cultural contexts in which some people are raised and what they're raised to see as too taboo to talk about - like LGBTQ+ identity or abortion rights, maybe."
Ultimately, as I tried to neatly tie together my thoughts about the 2016 study on interpolitical relationships in a fresh, 2019 context, I thought again of what Dr. Brown had said about a baseline of "mutual respect." Certainly, everyone has different boundaries and standards for what they seek in a partner, often shaped by identity and lived experience. But is it possible to feel respected by someone whose views and political participation disrespect the existence of other people like you? Of other groups you regard as equal? Of the fundamental values you hold at a time of nearly unprecedented assaults on these values? For all the frequent op-eds and cultural essays by men who refuse to date feminists - and by conservative women who refuse to date feminist men - don't women and feminists have standards of our own? Don't we have a fundamental need to feel respected, to be consistent in our values?
When I think about my own experience in a relationship with someone with whom I shared deep political and ideological differences today, what comes to mind first is how young I was. My conversations with Melina, Jill, Mariah, and doctors Brown and Lombardo prompted me to reevaluate my own past and all that I hadn't considered at the time. I realize I'd held an unshakable belief that I had not just the power, but the obligation, to change and unconditionally support someone - no matter the exhaustive cost to me personally. As I've struggled to take care of myself amid a constantly either draining or terrifying news cycle in the last almost three years, I've gradually come to shed that mindset altogether.
Relationships and human connections don't exist in a vacuum; different people find different interactions and conversations rewarding. But we are living in an age of children in cages and alleged abusers in the White House and Supreme Court. I understand the choice to opt out of the debilitating emotional labor of discussing with a partner why children do not belong in cages and abusers do not belong in power.
In the years since my last and only interpolitical relationship, the events that have transpired have shown me the importance of building relationships with those who share my fundamental values - those who see what is happening in the country and the world, and care. I'm proud to identify as a feminist and Democratic voter, with little patience for political stances propped up by misogyny, racism, xenophobia, and intolerance - and to say with confidence that I wouldn't enter my 2016 relationship as the woman I am in 2019.
33 Stunning Birth Photos That Will Convince You to Consider a Home Birth
Although most people likely conjure up an image of a chaotic hospital room when they think of childbirth, there are many moms who choose to have their babies at home, in their own space, surrounded by their family. And thankfully, some of them invite a birth photographer to capture the intimate event. Every year, Birth Becomes Her - an international community of birth photographers created by Monet Nicole and Jennifer Mason - holds a birth photography contest in which these amazing photographers from all over the world can submit their work to be judged within specific categories. Even though they can't all be winners, every single submission to the contest was absolutely stunning.
Ahead are some of our favorite out-of-hospital birth photos submitted to the contest for consideration in 2019.
The Beckham Family Leads the Way as Stars Hit London Fashion Week
London Fashion Week is in full swing, and that means the great and good of international fashion have landed in the British capital. Victoria Beckham showed her latest collection on Saturday, and followed it with a star-studded party that included guests like Chris Rock, Alexa Chung, and Luke Wilson, as well as her ever-supportive husband David, and son Brooklyn and his girlfriend Hana Cross. Elsewhere, Idris Elba and his fiancée Sabrina Dhowre hit the Roland Mouret show, and a whole host of talent turned up to see what Erdem had in store for Fall 2019. See all the best photos from London's most stylish week ahead.
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