Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
dimanche 8 décembre 2019
11 Unbelievably Good Home Items You'll Never Guess We Found Hiding at Nordstrom Rack
It's no secret that Nordstrom Rack has some of the best deals out there. The retailer carries all our favorite brands we know and love at seriously good prices, and we just can't get enough. While we love its shoe and bag selections, there's one section you shouldn't miss: its massive home department. It's filled with everything from stunning decor pieces to kitchen appliances.
To help you shop its best items right now, we did the hard work for you. Whether you're on the hunt for one of those new air fryers everyone is raving about or a fluffy blanket to upgrade your sofa, we've got you covered. Plus, these even make for great gifts this holiday season. Keep reading to shop them all.
I Bought This $99 Area Rug on Amazon, and It Totally Transformed My Old Living Room
I live in a rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco, which is basically the equivalent of winning the lottery, and while I want to say I'm lucky for finding the unit, sometimes my carpet makes me think otherwise. My whole place is covered in dirty brown carpeting that has become incredibly matted throughout the decade my roommates have lived there. This year, I've been on a mission to upgrade my space and make it feel cleaner by investing in some new pieces. I purchased some cool wall art and stylish decor pieces, but the one thing I spent forever looking for was the perfect area rug.
Once day while browsing on Amazon, I came across this ivory Safavieh California Shag ($29-$214) and it caught my eye. I decided to give it a try because it was affordable and it seemed like the piece I needed to brighten up my old living room. I bought the 5'x7' choice for under my coffee table, and at just $99, it was the perfect choice.
After getting it delivered to my front door within just a few days, I was instantly impressed by the quality. It's thick, fluffy, soft, and, most importantly, bright. Within seconds, my living room felt like a whole new space. The light from my bay windows reflected perfectly onto the fuzzy surface to create a fresh new feel. The upkeep has been much easier than I thought, too. I have a shoe-free home, which helps keeps dirt at bay, and the rug's material is easy to vacuum. It comes in several sizes and colors, so you can snag the perfect one for your home, too!
119 Affordable Gifts For Men in Their 20s
If you're shopping for a 20-something dude and want to get him something cool and useful this holiday season, don't overwhelm yourself trying to figure out what! Be it your friend, boyfriend, or husband, any guy navigating his 20s would seriously not mind shredding through wrapping paper to open up these bad boys. Each one is $50 or less, so they're easy on your bank account, too!
- With Haley Lyndes and Lauren Harano
Bring Peace and Love Into the 2019 Holiday Season With These 50 Tie-Dye Gifts
If there's one 2019 on-trend gift that crosses the generational divide, it's tie-dye. The print was popularized in the '60s (hello, baby boomers!), made a comeback in the '90s (what's up, millennials?), and is now highly coveted by Gen-Z. Its colorful design can be found on anything from clothes to bedspreads, tapestries, and even phone cases. Not to mention, the psychedelic pattern certainly makes for an artsy picture (that's you, VSCO girls!). Seriously, shopping for a loved one has never been easier than with these gift ideas. Find 50 tie-dye gifts that friends and family will adore with the products ahead!
44 Unique Stocking Stuffers They Weren't Expecting but Will Totally Love
If you're stumped on what stocking stuffers to get your loved ones this year, not to worry. We made it easy by curating a list of the coolest choices out there. From robot salt and pepper shakers to an adorable sloth chia pet and pretty candles, we found something for everyone on your list. Keep reading to shop our favorite picks.
Hershey's Kisses Cereal Is Showing Up on Walmart Shelves, and I'm Ready For a Spoonful
Do you think my holiday guests will mind if I serve cereal instead of gingerbread cookies at our Yankee Swap party? I ask because now that I know Walmart carries Hershey's Kisses Cereal, I might need to swap all of my sweet treats for a bowlful of chocolate pieces instead.
This brand-new cereal was rumored to release in 2020, but it looks like some lucky shoppers are finding it early. YouTube user Tami Dunn was one of the first to spot the cereal on shelves, and gave her full revew on her channel. She confirmed it retails for around $4, and yes, you will have some chocolate milk to slurp up after all the Kisses are eaten.
This General Mills creation is just the latest in a recent "dessert meets breakfast" trend that's been sweeping the cereal aisle. You can find your traditional breakfast in Twinkies, Oreo, Drumstick, and even Sour Patch Kids form. A morning sugar rush has never been so fun!
Prepare to Be Charmed by These 100 Harry Potter Gifts - All Under $25
There is no such thing as Harry Potter season, because true fans know it's year-round for the rest of eternity. We're not joking, muggles. If you have a Hogwarts-lover in your life, we have found some fun gifts that are perfect for birthdays, holidays, or just because. What makes them even more enticing is that they're all $25 and less, so no magic is needed in order to afford these cool presents. Take a look at all the charming mugs, jewelry, shirts, accessories, and more. They'll get you so nostalgic that you'll want to read the book series all over again.
- Additional reporting by Haley Lyndes, Lauren Harano, and Murphy Moroney
The Perfect Christmas Movie to Watch This Season Based on Your Zodiac Sign
With so many Christmas movies at our disposal, deciding which one to kick off the holiday season with can be a process that seems as long as the wait for Christmas morning. From nostalgic classics like White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life to modern Christmas comedies like Elf and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the choices are endless. If you're anything like me, you let astrology make every other decision for you, so skip the debate and leave it up to your zodiac sign. That way, the only choice you have to make tonight is whether or not to put marshmallows in your hot chocolate.
Say Your Goodbyes - These 38 Shows Are All Ending in 2020
The TV landscape offers up more viewing options than ever before, but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye to our favorite shows. Sadly, cancellations are inevitable, and the list of shows ending in 2020 is already extensive. On the upside, networks and streamers alike are getting better about ending shows properly instead of leaving viewers with cliffhangers and maddeningly unresolved love triangles to deal with. That means long-running shows like Supernatural and Arrow, as well as newer series like Netflix's Trinkets, all will be given a chance to go out on their own terms - and give their fans the last episode they deserve.
Whether a show's been on TV for 15 years or just one, here's hoping this list gives you plenty of time to prepare for all the grand finales coming your way in 2020.
Whether She Studies Hard or Parties Harder, She Will Be All About These 90+ Gift Ideas
These gift ideas are so good, college finals will be nothing but a distant memory. Equal parts useful and cool, we rounded up the best presents for every scholar and social butterfly on your list, with everything under 75 bucks. From study stuff that'll make library days bearable to dorm essentials that will help her create a cozy, far-from-drab space, we've got everything she wants and needs this holiday season. Get ready to find the perfect present for her (and maybe for yourself, too!) because these gifts are fun, functional, and totally essential. Shop 'em now!
- Additional reporting by Macy Cate Williams
11 Unbelievably Good Home Items You'll Never Guess We Found Hiding at Nordstrom Rack
It's no secret that Nordstrom Rack has some of the best deals out there. The retailer carries all our favorite brands we know and love at seriously good prices, and we just can't get enough. While we love its shoe and bag selections, there's one section you shouldn't miss: its massive home department. It's filled with everything from stunning decor pieces to kitchen appliances.
To help you shop its best items right now, we did the hard work for you. Whether you're on the hunt for one of those new air fryers everyone is raving about or a fluffy blanket to upgrade your sofa, we've got you covered. Plus, these even make for great gifts this holiday season. Keep reading to shop them all.
I Bought This $99 Area Rug on Amazon, and It Totally Transformed My Old Living Room
I live in a rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco, which is basically the equivalent of winning the lottery, and while I want to say I'm lucky for finding the unit, sometimes my carpet makes me think otherwise. My whole place is covered in dirty brown carpeting that has become incredibly matted throughout the decade my roommates have lived there. This year, I've been on a mission to upgrade my space and make it feel cleaner by investing in some new pieces. I purchased some cool wall art and stylish decor pieces, but the one thing I spent forever looking for was the perfect area rug.
Once day while browsing on Amazon, I came across this ivory Safavieh California Shag ($29-$214) and it caught my eye. I decided to give it a try because it was affordable and it seemed like the piece I needed to brighten up my old living room. I bought the 5'x7' choice for under my coffee table, and at just $99, it was the perfect choice.
After getting it delivered to my front door within just a few days, I was instantly impressed by the quality. It's thick, fluffy, soft, and, most importantly, bright. Within seconds, my living room felt like a whole new space. The light from my bay windows reflected perfectly onto the fuzzy surface to create a fresh new feel. The upkeep has been much easier than I thought, too. I have a shoe-free home, which helps keeps dirt at bay, and the rug's material is easy to vacuum. It comes in several sizes and colors, so you can snag the perfect one for your home, too!
119 Affordable Gifts For Men in Their 20s
If you're shopping for a 20-something dude and want to get him something cool and useful this holiday season, don't overwhelm yourself trying to figure out what! Be it your friend, boyfriend, or husband, any guy navigating his 20s would seriously not mind shredding through wrapping paper to open up these bad boys. Each one is $50 or less, so they're easy on your bank account, too!
- With Haley Lyndes and Lauren Harano
Bring Peace and Love Into the 2019 Holiday Season With These 50 Tie-Dye Gifts
If there's one 2019 on-trend gift that crosses the generational divide, it's tie-dye. The print was popularized in the '60s (hello, baby boomers!), made a comeback in the '90s (what's up, millennials?), and is now highly coveted by Gen-Z. Its colorful design can be found on anything from clothes to bedspreads, tapestries, and even phone cases. Not to mention, the psychedelic pattern certainly makes for an artsy picture (that's you, VSCO girls!). Seriously, shopping for a loved one has never been easier than with these gift ideas. Find 50 tie-dye gifts that friends and family will adore with the products ahead!
44 Unique Stocking Stuffers They Weren't Expecting but Will Totally Love
If you're stumped on what stocking stuffers to get your loved ones this year, not to worry. We made it easy by curating a list of the coolest choices out there. From robot salt and pepper shakers to an adorable sloth chia pet and pretty candles, we found something for everyone on your list. Keep reading to shop our favorite picks.
Hershey's Kisses Cereal Is Showing Up on Walmart Shelves, and I'm Ready For a Spoonful
Do you think my holiday guests will mind if I serve cereal instead of gingerbread cookies at our Yankee Swap party? I ask because now that I know Walmart carries Hershey's Kisses Cereal, I might need to swap all of my sweet treats for a bowlful of chocolate pieces instead.
This brand-new cereal was rumored to release in 2020, but it looks like some lucky shoppers are finding it early. YouTube user Tami Dunn was one of the first to spot the cereal on shelves, and gave her full revew on her channel. She confirmed it retails for around $4, and yes, you will have some chocolate milk to slurp up after all the Kisses are eaten.
This General Mills creation is just the latest in a recent "dessert meets breakfast" trend that's been sweeping the cereal aisle. You can find your traditional breakfast in Twinkies, Oreo, Drumstick, and even Sour Patch Kids form. A morning sugar rush has never been so fun!
These Are the Top Trending Gifts on Pinterest, and They Are All $100 or Less!
Attention, holiday shoppers: Pinterest just released its first-ever holiday gift guide. It includes the top trending presents of 2019, all of which are based on what Pinterest users are currently saving, pinning, and ultimately buying. With everything from the most beloved books of the year to the hottest new gadgets on the market, shoppers on the site have found something for everyone on your list. The best part? All of these gifts are $100 and under!
These presents cover all the gift-giving bases, whether you're shopping for the beauty buff, eco-conscious consumer, tireless traveler, or anyone in the middle. Shop the most sought-after goods for every kind of person on your 2019 holiday list, now.
You'll Wish It Was Christmas Morning After You See These Dreamy Stocking Stuffers From Anthropologie
Getting in the Christmas spirit is easy when you make Anthropologie your holiday haven. While we know the luxe retailer has some of the hottest gifts of 2019, you may be surprised to find out that their stocking stuffers are superaffordable. Whether you're shopping for someone who wants the best new skincare products or someone who can't get enough of the hottest tech gadgets, Anthropologie has exactly what they want, all at prices you can afford.
Shop the best Anthropologie stocking stuffers now - all $25 and under! Happy holidays, indeed.
- Additional reporting by Nicole Yi
30+ Must-Have Gifts For the Women Who Love All Things Fitness in 2019
Leggings and gym memberships aren't the only kinds of gifts you can give to women who love to work out. With the entire wellness industry booming like never before, the options are endless when it comes to great gifts. We've got our eyes on some cute water bottles, food delivery services, and an at-home Spin bike that looks like the peak of luxury. If there's someone in your life who lives and breathes fitness, take a look at some of these top gifts.
We've rounded up some of the best ideas you can give. Whether she's a runner, a weightlifter, a yogi, or an occasional cyclist, she could use - and thoroughly enjoy - just about every one of these products. Peruse the list and see what she'll like best, then maybe set aside a couple to get for yourself.
37 Superstylish and Affordable Gifts Our Fashion Editors Want This Holiday
Whether you're holiday shopping for your mom, sister, aunt, best friend, or co-worker, the women in your life deserve something extraordinary. And guess what? Spectacular gifts don't have to cost a fortune! All it takes it a little digging to discover sure-to-please presents that fit within your budget, and our fashion editors just happen to be pros when it comes to discovering deceptively affordable gifts.
A luxurious skincare kit she can pack when traveling? Absolutely. Our content director has a cult-loved pick. A stylish sweater she can curl up in? Yes, please. If she's the aprés ski type, she'll adore the knit topping our executive style editor's list. A beautiful vase to serve as a unique focal point in her home? Better make it two! Our fashion editor found the coolest versions from noneother than Zara!
Whether she's the type to covet stylish accessories and apparel, luxurious beauty products, incredible home decor pieces (perhaps all of the above!), ahead, discover our edit of outstanding gifts under $250, curated by the POPSUGAR fashion team.
28 Gifts Your Boyfriend Actually Wants
There are things women think men want, and then are things that men actually want. If you'd like to give your boyfriend something he will actually use (and not something he only wears to make you happy), you've come to the right place. These tech-y, boozy, nerdy, sporty, bacon-y gifts are guy-approved, and are guaranteed to elicit genuine joy this holiday season.
Here's exactly what we're shopping right now; think cozy fleece sweatshirts, a basketball popcorn machine, and sleek luggage you won't be embarrassed to haul through the airport. If it sounds too good to be true, it's not, we promise. Just keep reading to shop our picks!
- Additional reporting by Tara Block
samedi 7 décembre 2019
Urban Outfitters Is Selling a $139 Weighted Blanket, and You Can Bet It's on Our Wish List
A weighted blanket may be just what every stressed-out college student needs this Winter. They're thought to ease anxiety by hugging your body, which helps reduce cortisol levels, while triggering the release of the feel-good hormones oxytocin and serotonin. Oh, and they're super cozy - but priced at a couple hundred dollars or more, they're not exactly budget-friendly. At least not until now.
Enter the Plush 15 lb Weighted Blanket ($139) from Urban Outfitters. This beautiful blanket is made with a soft, dark gray fleece that's sure to match any dorm or apartment, no matter the color scheme. It evenly distributes 15 pounds onto your body - a good starting point, since weighted blankets should be about 10 percent of your body weight. And it's even machine-washable!
If that sounds like everything your holiday dreams are made of, add it to your own list - then settle in for a warm, restful Winter.
We Found Nordstrom's 51 Hottest Gifts of the Year, So You Don't Have To
Shopping for the perfect gift for any woman in your life can undoubtedly be stressful. If you're on a mission to hunt down that one perfect present for the special lady in your life, then you're in luck. The hard part is scouring the internet looking for the right choice, so we made it more simple. We turned to Nordstrom because the retailer has just about everything, including all the brands they know and love, at every price point.
Ahead, you can shop our 51 best picks of the season that will make your shopping experience easier than ever. From cozy sweaters to beauty sets and plush bathrobes, these picks are so good, you might end up being tempted to keep some for yourself, but we won't tell. Keep reading to check them all out and find the right match for your loved ones.
Yum, Costco Is Selling a 70-Count Christmas Cookie Tray, and Do I See Chocolate Crinkles?
There isn't always time to bake 10 batches of homemade Christmas cookies to satisfy our sugar cravings during the holidays, which is where Costco comes in with its one-of-a-kind holiday cookie assortment: all the snacking without any of the baking. The festive tray is only $18 and comes with 70 cookies to feed all of your friends and family during the annual holiday party - or to munch your way through on your own until Dec. 25.
The tray includes lemon shortbread cookies with green sugar sprinkles, chocolate chunk cookies with red and green candies, date nut bisconie, wedding cookies, and chocolate crinkle cookies topped with powdered sugar - yum! Keep scrolling to take a closer look at the delicious dessert spread ahead.
Happy Black Friday - You Can Buy 1, Get 1 Half Off At Urban Outfitters Right Now!
The holiday season is here, whether we like it or not. Even though we're all about pumpkin spice and Fall outfits, before we know it, it'll be time to stock up on holiday gifts, and this year, we're prepared. We're not waiting until the last minute to find something that might work, we're shopping now. That way, everything we want will be in stock, and we'll be sure to find gifts all the women in our life will love. Urban Outfitters is practically a gifting mecca, and we are ready for it this holiday season. But, there's one holiday that's coming up before December, and that's Black Friday. Right now, you can buy one, get one half off, and that's worth celebrating.
These gifts will be exactly what she's been looking for. From cool new beauty products to fun party games and a furry coat we'd like to wrap ourselves in, you can't go wrong with gifting one of these. She'll be so excited to open these up; the hardest part will be waiting until December to gift them.
8 Brand-New Netflix Movies Comin' at Us Throughout December
Netflix is the gift that keeps on giving, and in December, the streaming service is gifting us eight new original movies to round out 2019. This month, you can expect to see Ryan Reynold's highly anticipated Netflix debut, Netflix's first original movie from the Philippines, the third installment in the Christmas Prince trilogy, and five more movies perfect for holiday binge-watching. Though it's hard to imagine watching anything other than all of the incredible holiday movies available to watch on Netflix (including Netflix's many holiday originals), we think these eight latest movies are worth taking a break from your Christmas movie marathon.
18 New, Must-Read Books Coming Out in December
The year is coming to a close, but 2019 still has a whole month of must-read books to come. It seems publishers really have saved the best for last, because the new books coming out in December include edge-of-your-seat thrillers, swoony romances, and at least one book narrated by a goat. There truly is a title for everyone on this list - our apologies to your ever-expanding TBR, but come on, there's no such thing as too many incredible book options. Read on to discover all of the best titles hitting shelves this December, and don't forget to check out any November offerings that you may have missed, too.
106 Affordable Gifts Tailored For Teens
During the holidays, there's no better feeling than finding a perfect gift - and that's where we come in. If you're shopping for any teens, whether it's a sibling or classmate, these gift ideas are the coolest finds of the 2019 holiday season. From retro gifts like disposable cameras and record players to cool tech gadgets like a reusable smart notebook and a phone photography kit, they'll be blown away by the ideas you've conjured up. Don't wait another minute poking around the internet, hop on these gift ideas before they're sold out! Check out more than 100 affordable finds ahead.
- Additional reporting by Haley Lyndes, Macy Cate Williams, and Krista Jones
Related: Whether She Studies Hard or Parties Harder, She Will Be All About These 90+ Gift Ideas
50 Santa-Approved Christmas Captions Your Instagram Needs This Holiday Season
Christmas calls for food, family, and LOTS of pictures. Seriously, even your average caption queen may run out of witty ideas. Between the cozy Christmas trees, appetizing food, and beautiful holiday decorations, it's hard not to fill your Instagram feed with Christmas cheer - there's so much content! In order to make your home-y noel snaps stand out from the rest, a fun and unique caption is a great place to start. From the jingle ladies to those who've come to sleigh, we have all the quotes that will bring in a Santa sack of likes and comments. Don't wait another minute! Add these IG captions to your queue before the next holiday-lover snags 'em.
In Defense of Brutal Honesty, Even If People Don't Want to Hear It
If you ask anyone in my family or any of my good friends to describe me in one word, I'm fairly confident the most common response would be "honest." It's common knowledge that I don't mince words. I am not the person you come to if you want to be pandered to or let down gently. Frankly, I just don't see the point. I do not enjoy the idea of being disingenuous, especially to people I care about, but really, to anyone at all. The way I see it, I'm not doing anyone any favors by lying. The more time and effort I spend thinking of ways to lie to you about your problem is less time we could be spending thinking about solutions. Let's get it over with, rip off the Band-Aid, and get to work.
I am proudly honest, but please don't mistake my honesty for cruelty. I don't seek out ways to be nasty and I definitely don't savor the feeling or act of telling someone I care about something difficult. But to me, it's worth it if it will save that person pain in the future or will bring about a more rapid end to a current painful situation. I also don't let my honesty fly willy-nilly and volunteer opinions without that opinion being specifically requested. Again, I do not enjoy hurting anyone.
I draw the line at giving negative opinions about something that can't be changed. If you come to me and ask my honest opinion about the name you have given your child and it is the name that is already printed on the birth certificate, there is no possible way I can do anything but love it. That's for you and little what's-his-name to deal with when he grows up and realizes what you did to him. My telling you that now would only serve to hurt you and ruin our friendship, and that is never my intention. I am not above white lies, but only in situations when my telling you the truth would be worse than lying.
The way I see it, I'm not doing anyone any favors by lying.
In my experience, people don't ask for honest opinions unless they know the truth already. If you have a garbage boyfriend, you probably know he's garbage. So if you ask me what I think, I don't know why I would tell you he's anything but garbage. You are my friend; I care about you; I want you to be with someone who is not garbage. I would be doing you a disservice otherwise, and if that makes me a b*tch, then I guess I'm a b*tch. I'd rather be considered a "b*tch" than a liar or a terrible friend.
Recently, my brutal honesty was blamed as the reason for a longtime friendship ending. I will not go into great detail, but a friend had been acting in a self-destructive manner for quite a while and grew frustrated at my inability to believe her insistence that she was "fine." It got to a point where the friendship had become so toxic that staying in contact was only punishment for us both. I was called cruel and uncaring and purposely nasty, but when I go back over what was said and done, I regret nothing. I wasn't saying anything she didn't already know, and I refuse to sit back and enable someone I care about to destroy themselves, not while I have the ability to possibly change the outcome.
I will never be the friend who sits with you on the couch, nodding and making sympathetic noises while you cry over your latest SO and explaining that it's not that they don't want to be with you, "they're just, like, super busy with work." I will sit you down and list all the ways they're terrible. I will explain exactly how obvious it is that they aren't into you, and why that sh*t is not to be tolerated. I will tell you why you deserve better and, when you are ready, I will help you move on. Because I love you. Honestly.
106 Affordable Gifts Tailored For Teens
During the holidays, there's no better feeling than finding a perfect gift - and that's where we come in. If you're shopping for any teens, whether it's a sibling or classmate, these gift ideas are the coolest finds of the 2019 holiday season. From retro gifts like disposable cameras and record players to cool tech gadgets like a reusable smart notebook and a phone photography kit, they'll be blown away by the ideas you've conjured up. Don't wait another minute poking around the internet, hop on these gift ideas before they're sold out! Check out more than 100 affordable finds ahead.
- Additional reporting by Haley Lyndes, Macy Cate Williams, and Krista Jones
Related: Whether She Studies Hard or Parties Harder, She Will Be All About These 90+ Gift Ideas
50 Santa-Approved Christmas Captions Your Instagram Needs This Holiday Season
Christmas calls for food, family, and LOTS of pictures. Seriously, even your average caption queen may run out of witty ideas. Between the cozy Christmas trees, appetizing food, and beautiful holiday decorations, it's hard not to fill your Instagram feed with Christmas cheer - there's so much content! In order to make your home-y noel snaps stand out from the rest, a fun and unique caption is a great place to start. From the jingle ladies to those who've come to sleigh, we have all the quotes that will bring in a Santa sack of likes and comments. Don't wait another minute! Add these IG captions to your queue before the next holiday-lover snags 'em.
In Defense of Brutal Honesty, Even If People Don't Want to Hear It
If you ask anyone in my family or any of my good friends to describe me in one word, I'm fairly confident the most common response would be "honest." It's common knowledge that I don't mince words. I am not the person you come to if you want to be pandered to or let down gently. Frankly, I just don't see the point. I do not enjoy the idea of being disingenuous, especially to people I care about, but really, to anyone at all. The way I see it, I'm not doing anyone any favors by lying. The more time and effort I spend thinking of ways to lie to you about your problem is less time we could be spending thinking about solutions. Let's get it over with, rip off the Band-Aid, and get to work.
I am proudly honest, but please don't mistake my honesty for cruelty. I don't seek out ways to be nasty and I definitely don't savor the feeling or act of telling someone I care about something difficult. But to me, it's worth it if it will save that person pain in the future or will bring about a more rapid end to a current painful situation. I also don't let my honesty fly willy-nilly and volunteer opinions without that opinion being specifically requested. Again, I do not enjoy hurting anyone.
I draw the line at giving negative opinions about something that can't be changed. If you come to me and ask my honest opinion about the name you have given your child and it is the name that is already printed on the birth certificate, there is no possible way I can do anything but love it. That's for you and little what's-his-name to deal with when he grows up and realizes what you did to him. My telling you that now would only serve to hurt you and ruin our friendship, and that is never my intention. I am not above white lies, but only in situations when my telling you the truth would be worse than lying.
The way I see it, I'm not doing anyone any favors by lying.
In my experience, people don't ask for honest opinions unless they know the truth already. If you have a garbage boyfriend, you probably know he's garbage. So if you ask me what I think, I don't know why I would tell you he's anything but garbage. You are my friend; I care about you; I want you to be with someone who is not garbage. I would be doing you a disservice otherwise, and if that makes me a b*tch, then I guess I'm a b*tch. I'd rather be considered a "b*tch" than a liar or a terrible friend.
Recently, my brutal honesty was blamed as the reason for a longtime friendship ending. I will not go into great detail, but a friend had been acting in a self-destructive manner for quite a while and grew frustrated at my inability to believe her insistence that she was "fine." It got to a point where the friendship had become so toxic that staying in contact was only punishment for us both. I was called cruel and uncaring and purposely nasty, but when I go back over what was said and done, I regret nothing. I wasn't saying anything she didn't already know, and I refuse to sit back and enable someone I care about to destroy themselves, not while I have the ability to possibly change the outcome.
I will never be the friend who sits with you on the couch, nodding and making sympathetic noises while you cry over your latest SO and explaining that it's not that they don't want to be with you, "they're just, like, super busy with work." I will sit you down and list all the ways they're terrible. I will explain exactly how obvious it is that they aren't into you, and why that sh*t is not to be tolerated. I will tell you why you deserve better and, when you are ready, I will help you move on. Because I love you. Honestly.
The Confession Killer: Ottis Toole's Story Is Even Worse Than Henry Lee Lucas's
While most serial killers work alone, it's not always the case. Now the subjects of Netflix's latest true-crime docuseries The Confession Killer, Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas would develop a sexual relationship and bond over a mutual fascination with murder. Lucas confessed to killing over 600 people, while Toole admitted to a little less: just over 100, including Adam Walsh, the six-year-old son of America's Most Wanted host John Walsh.
In 1976, Toole and Lucas first encountered each other at a soup kitchen. The men shared deep similarities: both grew up in abusive households and had a penchant for murder. Also like Lucas, Toole first killed in adolescence at age 14, claiming to have run over a salesman who made advances towards him. After hitting things off, Toole and Lucas supposedly abducted, raped, and murdered as they drifted across the country together. Lucas later became involved with Toole's intellectually impaired niece Frieda "Becky" Powell and killed her along with his 82-year-old landlord Kate Rich.
In 1982, Toole set a fire that killed 64-year-old George Sonnenberg in Jacksonville, FL. Soon after getting convicted for that crime, he was indicted for the murder of a 19-year-old woman in Tallahassee. Later, he also pled guilty for four other deaths in Florida. And long before that, Toole was also a prime suspect for the deaths of Patricia Webb and Ellen Holman.
The biggest twist in Toole's story is that in prison, he corroborated Lucas's claims of a murder spree during their cross-country trip. Toole admitted to helping Lucas with 108 murders. However, much like Lucas's confessions, most of Toole's turned out to be false. Still, while law enforcement convicted Toole for six counts of murder, it's entirely possible that he may have had more victims. Years after his death to cirrhosis in 1996, authorities stated in 2008 that he likely killed and beheaded 6-year-old Adam Walsh in 1981.
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