jeudi 28 décembre 2017

I Was a 9-Year-Old Babysitter - and There's a Good Reason We Don't Let That Happen Anymore

My 9-year-old is about as responsible as any kid his age. He always does his homework and helps out with his little brother. But he also has to be reminded to feed his turtle every day and that showering involves the use of soap. So would I entrust him with any great responsibility, like taking care of a baby? Probably not.

Yet I was exactly his age - in the fourth grade - the first time I babysat . . . for an infant. By the time I was 12, I was routinely sitting for multiple kids at a time - for babies, still in diapers and taking bottles, and their slightly older siblings, mobile and potty-training and getting into stuff. I thought I was mature back then, of course (and I probably was at least a little more equipped to handle the responsibility than my own fourth grader), but when I think about it now, a part of me is a bit appalled.

Granted, the world was a different place when we were growing up. I can remember freely roaming the mall alone when I was 7 or 8, waiting for my mom to finish getting her hair permed at Regis (and when your mom's hair closely resembles Peg Bundy's, that's a long process). Yet the thought of my kids being let loose on their own in the mall is literally laughable to me. File that one under "I would never." And letting them babysit someone else's children, at least at the age I started, isn't much more likely.

Look, I don't think kids that age are incapable - and if we could guarantee that nothing out of the ordinary would happen during the time they'd be watching another child, they'd probably be fine. But we all know that even in the care of an adult, things can go south pretty quickly. Everybody has a horror story about something their kid has done: cutting their own hair until it's an inch long, coloring all over the couch with a permanent marker, turning poop into finger paint for the wall. (That last one? Yeah. Mine.) And even though it could happen to anyone, we would automatically blame the sitter. That's to say nothing of more serious incidents, like choking or a bad cut or a broken bone. Things happen, but to saddle a young kid with the responsibility of handling any of those things seems not only kind of stupid, but also unfair.

Would I trust my 9-year-old to help entertain a baby in the presence of an adult? Absolutely. He's great with babies. When I was watching my neighbor's 18-month-old a few days ago, I asked him to help me out by keeping an eye on her while I finished up a little bit of work. He did so, dutifully and willingly, making sure she was out of harm's way (and keeping her laughing, to boot). But that was his only responsibility at the moment, and it was a simple one; he wasn't in charge of cutting up her food into small enough bites or changing a poopy diaper or any other more complex caretaking task. I was there to supervise and to take charge if anything serious happened. But to leave him alone - no matter how good he is - is putting an amount of responsibility on him that I'm just not sure he's equipped to handle. And if he mishandled it, heaven forbid, I don't think he's equipped to deal with that aftermath, either.

Maybe when he remembers to, say, flush the toilet with regularity, we'll talk about letting him take on more responsibility in the form of babysitting. But judging by the floaters I'm still constantly finding in the toilet when I go to the bathroom, that's going to be a good long while.



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