vendredi 11 mai 2018
If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day
Getting married may seem like a feat, but these days, it's staying married that is the real task at hand. In a world that moves faster than we can really handle, it can be easy to let the basic tenets and principles of good love and partnership fall by the wayside, but don't let that be your marriage! Don't let it be you who is the lazy partner. Be present and aware of your partner and your marriage each day. Do these 10 things daily, and we won't be surprised when year after year, you're collecting another anniversary gift and enjoying another solid year of love with the person you said "I do" to!
1. Forgive
The best thing you can offer anyone you love is forgiveness. Each day, forgive. Forgive your partner for the flaws and mistakes. Unless it's a major sin or breach of trust and respect, forgive. Your partner will never be perfect. He or she will always annoy you. Forgive and you will be happy and so will your spouse.
2. Touch
It doesn't have to be a hot bedroom session, but touch your partner. Each day. Hug. Kiss. Hold hands. Rub his or her back. Touch. Touch is so vital - human contact reminds us that we're there for each other, literally.
3. Acceptance
This is similar to forgiveness but different. Forgiveness is allowing your partner to make mistakes - forget to clean the dishes or say something somewhat harsh or not notice a new haircut without shutting him or her out or getting angry.
Acceptance is recognizing that, for example, your spouse may always be reluctant to push forward to work or poor at making romantic gestures but that you still appreciate all the person does do for you. Acceptance is knowing your partner is great for what they excel at and not harping at what they are not good at!
4. Gestures
Making kind gestures toward your partner, whether it's making coffee or tidying up the bed or saying she looks pretty each day, is a sure-fire way to stay married, plain and simple. Small gestures add up to so much in our intimate relationships.
5. Kiss
This is different than touch but similar. Kiss. Kiss your spouse. Personally, I think a hot, passionate kiss should be shared each day, but if that's not you, at least reach up and give that honey a smooch. Lips are delicious. Share the one thing that way back in the day at kiss one had your knees shaking and your heart fluttering.
6. Listen
This is the hardest of them all - minus acceptance, I think. Listen to your spouse. Really listen. Ask questions. Every single day. Your spouse "says" so much even when he or she isn't directly saying something. Listening means hearing stuff we don't always want to hear, and listening means hearing stuff we somehow missed the day before. Just listen.
7. Ban Technology
Put aside the phone for, at the very least, one hour a night, daily. If you can put the phone away each night (and all tech), that's much, much better. Your iPhone, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, work emails, and texts won't make love to you, wipe your butt when you're old, or hold your hand when you're scared. Be present.
8. Ask
There is nothing more wonderful than someone asking how your day was. As someone who has been single for some time, I can say that with all certainty: your spouse - even if he or she isn't a talker - wants someone to ask how their day went, even if they respond, "I don't feel like talking about it." Knowing someone cares about how our day went is the most special of all.
9. Ask For Forgiveness
When you mess up somehow, each day - even in tiny ways - ask for forgiveness of your partner. Admit your limitations. Share your flaws. Be honest about who you are, what you did, and how you could be better.
10. Self-Care
Care for you. Care for yourself. Your health, physical and mental. Be mindful of your issues, no matter what they are, and be proactive. Taking care of you means you are a good partner and contributing to the relationship. When you don't care for yourself, you can't care for your spouse either!
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