Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
jeudi 4 mai 2017
World Class Hypocrite Jason Chaffetz Wants to Rescind Obama's Pension Over Speaking Fees
When a president leaves office, it's pretty standard practice that they get paid to give speeches. Whether they donate the money or keep it depends on the president: while President Jimmy Carter rarely accepts compensation for speaking engagements, President Barack Obama recently made headlines for accepting a $400,000 fee to address Cantor Fitzgerald, a Wall Street institution he once criticized.
Ex-presidents also get paid a pension by the federal government, which varies depending on the President's post-office income. Now, Chairmen of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz has decided to use Obama's Cantor Fitzgerald gig as a reason to go after his presidential pension. Chaffetz decided to chime in on a USA Today editorial, which argued that Obama's speaking fees might incite Congress to target his pension. "Yes, it will," Chaffetz wrote in a tweet sharing the article on May 3.
Obama's $400,000 speech could prompt Congress to go after his pension https://t.co/h17muKPMmE via @USATODAY Yes, it will
- Jason Chaffetz (@jasoninthehouse) May 4, 2017
Here's the problem with Chaffetz's moral outrage: presidents from across the aisle have long amassed mini-fortunes from private speaking gigs. Politico reported that George W. Bush has been paid between $100,000 and $175,000 for the roughly 200 speeches he's given since leaving office in 2009. And former president Ronald Reagan was famously paid $2,000,000 to visit Japan and open a trade dialogue with the country less than a year after leaving office.
Hillary Clinton's speaking fees, which were of much debate during the primaries, exceed W.'s: from 2001 until May, 2016 Clinton gave 729 speeches and made roughly $210,795 for each. Collectively, former President Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton raked in a whopping $153 million in speeches between 2001 and when Clinton announced her candidacy for president.
This is not the first time Chaffetz has attempted to limit former president's pensions to $200,000. A bill that would restrict presidential pensions to $200,000 if their income exceeded $400,000 reached President Obama's office in July of 2016, but he vetoed the proposed law. With this in mind, it's hard not to see Chaffetz's commitment to going after Obama's pension as a ploy to bash a political foe.
Pippa Middleton Might Be the Bride, But She Just Wore the Perfect Wedding Guest Dress
Whether you're attending a friend's wedding, Pippa Middleton's wedding (lucky you), or just a really fancy dinner, there's no denying Pippa's Erdem dress is appropriate. The sleeveless jacquard design, slightly muted in color but jazzed up thanks to embellishments at the waist and neckline, is really quite a dream.
The bride-to-be stepped out on her way to the ParaSnowBall fundraiser in London wearing the midi with a glittering clutch and suede caged heels. Her engagement ring and tiny drop earrings added some extra sparkle and ensured party guests will look her way (in case they forgot May is her special month). Scroll for another look, then shop the exact Erdem number along with similar options.
Prince Harry Comforts a Boy and His Sister Who Are Battling the Same Terminal Illness
One of the things we love most about Prince Harry is his genuine interest in the well-being of other people. While some public figures might shy away from dealing with serious topics such as illness, Harry doesn't think twice about actually physically embracing those who are struggling. That's exactly what he did this week when he reunited with a pair of siblings in a London hospital who are battling the same terminal illness. Harry, who met 6-year-old Ollie Carroll and his little sister, Amelia, at the WellChild Awards last year, spent time with the pair on Tuesday. They both suffer from Batten disease, a rare genetic childhood nervous system disorder that eventually renders patients unable to walk, see, eat, or breathe. Most children diagnosed with Batten do not live past age 12. Ollie and Amelia's two older brothers were tested for the disease and don't have it.
Ollie and Amelia's parents, Lucy and Mike, posted two touching photos of the prince and their children on Facebook, including one of Harry embracing Ollie, who has lost the ability to stand on his own. "For an hour Prince Harry sat with us talking and playing with our children, laughing and making memories," they wrote. "The very thing our children want the most in life [is] to be happy and having fun. We feel so much pride knowing that Ollie and Amelia are touching the lives of the people they meet, with their love and their strength. The love, the support, and the laughter within that treatment room on Tuesday will stay with us forever. From the bottom of our hearts we thank Prince Harry for his support, his time, and his kindness towards our family and our journey with Batten Disease. It was truly incredible to watch him with our children and to have the opportunity to talk with him about our journey."
Pippa Middleton Might Be the Bride, But She Just Wore the Perfect Wedding Guest Dress
Whether you're attending a friend's wedding, Pippa Middleton's wedding (lucky you), or just a really fancy dinner, there's no denying Pippa's Erdem dress is appropriate. The sleeveless jacquard design, slightly muted in color but jazzed up thanks to embellishments at the waist and neckline, is really quite a dream.
The bride-to-be stepped out on her way to the ParaSnowBall fundraiser in London wearing the midi with a glittering clutch and suede caged heels. Her engagement ring and tiny drop earrings added some extra sparkle and ensured party guests will look her way (in case they forgot May is her special month). Scroll for another look, then shop the exact Erdem number along with similar options.
Get to Know the Soon-to-Be Princess With a Royal Wardrobe Better Than Kate's
Get pumped because a new Latina royal is here to stun you with her amazing style. Alessandra de Osma, known as Sassa and born in Lima, Peru, is the 25-year-old lucky fiancé to Prince Christian of Hanover. From the moment the couple, who met while Christian visited Peru as a teen, announced their engagement and 2018 wedding, we've been taking a deep dive into Alessandra's incredible fashion choices, and we must say, we're impressed.
The lawyer and model has been attending royal events, like the Monaco Rose Ball - Christian's father, Prince Ernst August, is married to Princess Caroline of Monaco - and fronting ads and magazine spreads for fashion designers for years. It comes as no surprise then than her closet is full of high-end pieces she wears expertly. Look ahead to see why she should be your new favorite royal.
Just In Case You Forgot Beyoncé Is Pregnant, It Says So on Her Shirt
In case you missed the memo that Beyoncé is pregnant with twins, the singer pointed it out by wearing a "Preggers" T-shirt. She shared photos of the cheeky tee on Instagram, where she's been documenting her maternity outfits. The outfit was more casual than her usual floor-sweeping gowns, but nonetheless still trendy. She wore denim-on-denim with her T-shirt and a pair of comfy Converse.
It seems the demand for the graphic Asos shirt is high, because it's not available to shop anymore. But for all you moms-to-be, we found several similar versions. Because let's be real, if you want to announce your pregnancy (or just have a Bey moment), you need this shirt.
13 Exciting Milestones Princess Charlotte Hit Before Her Second Birthday
Princess Charlotte been a very busy little girl - but then again, she is no ordinary 2-year-old. When her father is king, she will be second in line to the throne, so there are more to her milestones than first word, first steps, and first tooth. Take a look at all the different things the little princess has done in her jam-packed first two years.
Just In Case You Forgot Beyoncé Is Pregnant, It Says So on Her Shirt
In case you missed the memo that Beyoncé is pregnant with twins, the singer pointed it out by wearing a "Preggers" T-shirt. She shared photos of the cheeky tee on Instagram, where she's been documenting her maternity outfits. The outfit was more casual than her usual floor-sweeping gowns, but nonetheless still trendy. She wore denim-on-denim with her T-shirt and a pair of comfy Converse.
It seems the demand for the graphic Asos shirt is high, because it's not available to shop anymore. But for all you moms-to-be, we found several similar versions. Because let's be real, if you want to announce your pregnancy (or just have a Bey moment), you need this shirt.
This Is How Long You Can Expect to Bleed After Giving Birth, According to 2 Doctors
Something many first-time moms might not know in reference to what will happen with their bodies after giving birth is that they can expect to bleed. Understandably, the body goes through a pretty intense experience while birthing a child, so it continues to bleed vaginally - similar to a period - for a bit of time afterward. All it really comes down to is the body expelling the extra blood and tissue that it needed for the baby. But how long can you expect to bleed? And what are normal levels of bleeding? To find out, we asked two doctors to weigh in on it.
Iffath Hoskins, MD, clinical associate professor, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center, said bleeding will typically last for about 10-14 days. Heather Rupe, MD, DO, OB/GYN at The Womens Group of Franklin and WebMD contributor agreed with Dr. Hoskins and added that women can also see spotting for up to eight weights post-childbirth.
New moms can expect the blood to be bright red and thick because of the tissue right after giving birth, Dr. Hoskins said, but as time goes on, it should change to a brown or orange shade. During this time, pads will be your friend, but it can get messy, so wearing some crummy clothes that you don't mind getting dirty is a good idea. The blood is not cause for alarm, however, if you're passing any clots or rapidly bleeding through pads, it might be time to check back in with your doctor. Dr. Hoskins also cites localized pain in the perineum, fever, and pus as other causes for concern.
Dr. Hoskins put it simply when she said, "No one ever died from being embarrassed about an unnecessary phone call. But postpartum bleeding and/or sepsis are known killers of mothers." We couldn't have said it better. If you're ever in doubt, it's always smart to ask your doctor for help.
This Is How Long You Can Expect to Bleed After Giving Birth, According to 2 Doctors
Something many first-time moms might not know in reference to what will happen with their bodies after giving birth is that they can expect to bleed. Understandably, the body goes through a pretty intense experience while birthing a child, so it continues to bleed vaginally - similar to a period - for a bit of time afterward. All it really comes down to is the body expelling the extra blood and tissue that it needed for the baby. But how long can you expect to bleed? And what are normal levels of bleeding? To find out, we asked two doctors to weigh in on it.
Iffath Hoskins, MD, clinical associate professor, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center, said bleeding will typically last for about 10-14 days. Heather Rupe, MD, DO, OB/GYN at The Womens Group of Franklin and WebMD contributor agreed with Dr. Hoskins and added that women can also see spotting for up to eight weights post-childbirth.
New moms can expect the blood to be bright red and thick because of the tissue right after giving birth, Dr. Hoskins said, but as time goes on, it should change to a brown or orange shade. During this time, pads will be your friend, but it can get messy, so wearing some crummy clothes that you don't mind getting dirty is a good idea. The blood is not cause for alarm, however, if you're passing any clots or rapidly bleeding through pads, it might be time to check back in with your doctor. Dr. Hoskins also cites localized pain in the perineum, fever, and pus as other causes for concern.
Dr. Hoskins put it simply when she said, "No one ever died from being embarrassed about an unnecessary phone call. But postpartum bleeding and/or sepsis are known killers of mothers." We couldn't have said it better. If you're ever in doubt, it's always smart to ask your doctor for help.
Zendaya Transforms Into Bruno Mars For a Spot-On Lip Sync Battle Performance
Zendaya is going head to head with her Spider-Man: Homecoming costar Tom Holland on Lip Sync Battle this week, and the 20-year-old actress definitely didn't phone in her performance. For a rendition of the Bruno Mars banger "24K Magic," Zendaya transformed into the singer, complete with curly wig, silk short suit, and gold chain. She also nailed Bruno's smooth dance moves. The full episode will air on Sunday ahead of the MTV Movie & TV Awards, but you should definitely check out this sneak peek now.
Ed Sheeran's "Galway Girl" Video Will Make You Homesick For Ireland (Even If You've Never Been)
Ed Sheeran released the new unofficial St. Patrick's Day theme song earlier this year when he dropped "Galway Girl" off his new album, Divide. While the holiday is already long over, the song is still catchy as hell (and will continue to be until the end of time). After causing a frenzy in Galway, Ireland, while filming the music video in April, the finished product is finally here, and it's just as charming as you'd expect. Sheeran takes viewers on a tour of Ireland's friendliest city through the eyes of his personal camera. While hanging out with Irish actress Saoirse Ronan, the two hit up a few of Galway's pubs, down pints of Guinness, chat with Irish dancers, get into a fight, and end the night watching the sun come up. Even if you've never been to Ireland, this video will make you want to book a trip ASAP.
I May Never Know if I Was Sexually Assaulted
All my life, these flashes have played in my mind like a choppy, hand-cranked silent film. I was in high school when the snippets suddenly began to make sense. I was no more than 3 or 4 years old. There was the crowded street in China - so blurry in my mind it could have been rendered in watercolor. There was the lucid flash of a stranger's hand grabbing mine and then the unmistakable image of my tiny hand being placed around his penis. But perhaps the most distinct image in this foggy vignette is the white substance that followed me home and somehow ended up on my mother's black dress.
The question remains: were these "flashes" memories of an incident that actually took place, or did my unreliable young brain create them? Was I sexually assaulted?
Sexual abuse survivors often have flashbacks of their assaults, triggered by the elements of daily life, that force them to relive the horrifying experience all over again. Experts recommend recognizing your triggers and avoiding them to the best of your ability, so as to prevent future flashbacks. But what if you're not sure that your assault even happened, so all you do is relive the maybe-incident in your mind repeatedly, voluntarily? What exactly does that do to a person?
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life, along with a dizzying swirl of contingent questions that rotate in my head, like "Why didn't my mom stop the assault? How could she be so oblivious? Did anyone else on the street see this happening?" But the most significant portion of this mystery that I am aching to solve is how it has affected me as a person throughout my life and into adulthood.
To help me put together the pieces of this puzzle, I enlisted the help of three experts who work with sexual assault survivors every day, including those who have trouble remembering their incidents. I would like to contribute to the important conversation by allowing others in a similar situation to feel less alone and to provide them with some answers.
Can Sexual Assault Be Forgotten?
According to Josie Torielli, assistant director of intervention programs at the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, these "forgotten" incidents happen "quite often." Though there aren't exact statistics for how many people have repressed memories of their sexual abuse, most sexual assault counselors and therapists have worked on such cases. "Forgetting" your sexual abuse is especially likely for young children "due to the developmental processes of the mind," Torielli says.
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life.This is true for all memories formed before a certain age - apparently, I refused to eat when I was a toddler, which I find inconceivable given my current appetite, but my mom swears it's true - but when there's trauma involved, your brain works overtime to "protect" you from these harmful memories and reliving the experience.
"In simple terms, our brains only allow us to experience what we are able to withstand," says Lindsey Pratt, a psychotherapist in New York City who specializes in sexual trauma and abuse. "This is one of the reasons why repression of traumatic childhood memories is so common, as children are not as well equipped to cope or make sense of fear, panic, anger, shame, or sadness as adults may be."
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode and activates a chemical called catecholamine, which is used to engage your fight-or-flight response. "Catecholamine also interferes with and impedes the encoding of memory," Torielli says. As a result, your brain locks these traumatic memories away in a special place, the limbic system, and pretty much throws away the key.
Pratt explains: "Theories on memory repression posit that trauma memories, including those which have been repressed, get 'stuck' in the limbic brain. They are then unable to integrate into the more logical, developed portion of the brain responsible for functional working memory, the prefrontal cortex, which is where our more 'normal' memories are stored."
In other words, memories of the pony at your fourth birthday party live in the prefrontal cortex, which you can access at any time, while memories of any kind of trauma live in the limbic system, which can be buried so deep you'll need a psychological excavation team to help you unearth anything.
The Problem With Repressed Memories
"Unfortunately, there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."Even though some experts have offered a scientific explanation for how and why your brain redacts certain incidents from your life transcript, others are not so quick to fully accept these explanations. Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and creator of A Survivor's Guide to Reclaiming Your Sex Life After Abuse, pointed out that this is a controversial topic within the psychotherapy community.
There have been a slew of cases over the last few decades that revealed that "repressed memory" therapy, which bubbled in popularity in the '90s, led to false memories and accusations. The issue was brought to the forefront when repressed memories were used to convict accused sexual abusers in court, only to have the alleged victim later recant their accusations. Some experts assert that, at the end of the day, there just isn't enough empirical evidence supporting the theory of repressed memories, even if it sounds completely plausible.
After all, memory in general can be a fickle and elusive beast.
"What we know about memory is that it is extremely malleable," Marin explains. "Each time we retrieve a memory, we have the capacity to alter or reframe it in some way."
Great. As if my brain weren't unreliable enough with regular memories from adulthood (I once blew the easiest job interview question ever when I was asked what my favorite bands were and my mind blanked), it seems all but impossible to know whether or not I should trust the fragments that flash in my mind of a supposed trauma that potentially occurred decades ago.
"Unfortunately," says Marin, "there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."
The Effects or Lack Thereof
Not knowing whether the sexual assault took place is agonizing on its own, but the real crux of my conundrum is the effects. If I was indeed sexually assaulted, how has it shaped me as a person and how has it influenced the course of my life? And can studying the effects help me figure out what happened?
According to my panel of experts, the effects come in all shapes and sizes.
"Trauma survivors usually experience symptoms of dissociation (numbing) or activation (hyperawareness)," Torielli says. "But sexual assault survivors can experience any kind of response. We often indicate that any response to sexual assault is normal."
And often, these effects can be similar to those felt by survivors who do not remember their abuse.
"Since repressed memories are still a part of a person's memory store, they may be triggered without a visible cause," Pratt explains. Triggers can include "certain sounds, smells, or locations," and their corresponding psychological responses can include "sweating, racing heart, or panic attacks with no logical precursor."
I have never experienced any of these visceral fear responses, but what about long-term effects?
Pratt adds: "[The survivor] may also have difficulty regulating emotions, such as anger or sadness, and the long-term impact can sometimes result in either hypersensitivity to emotions or the opposite effect, a flattening of emotions, as a subconscious means to cope with triggering situations."
My Evidence Is Inconclusive
It's been almost 30 years since the assault occurred, if it did indeed occur. What transpired in that period of time amounts to a normal life, by all outward appearances. I'm a writer. I have a healthy number of friends, close ones. I've had normal relationships with a motley bunch - no identifiable patterns, no underlying threads connecting these men, nothing sinister beneath the surface. They've ranged from cocky creative types to reliable computer nerds. I've never been abused by any of them, and I've never felt unsafe with any of them - or any man, for that matter. None of them have ever called my emotional behavior into question. In fact, I would dare say that my emotions are pretty even-keeled, save for the occasional bout of PMS. Plus, I seem to have an objectively normal relationship with sex.
Sex has never been a "thing" for me. It's not something I take very seriously or very lightly; it's just something people do. It's pleasurable, but also awkward, messy, and sometimes it's the root of all your problems. Sex sits on a sliding scale of importance, shrinking and expanding, appreciating and depreciating, depending on where I am in my ongoing adventures in existence. Sex is putty in my hands. It doesn't define me. I define it.
So . . . mystery solved?
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode.Then again, I do possess some traits that could potentially stem from my repressed abuse. For example, right after moving to the States at age 5, I struggled with an extreme reluctance to inform adults of any sort of discomfort. I remember falling down and scraping up my face in first grade and being in extreme pain, but when my teacher asked me if I needed to go to the nurse's office, I hesitated and said no. This seems like a pretty plausible case of minimizing or disassociation, or it could be explained by my shaky English at the time.
Perhaps the most convincing evidence of sexual assault in my past is my tendency to feel irrationally guilty in any given situation. I feel intense guilt over everything, from not saying hi to a co-worker in the hallway to under-tipping by one percent to breaking up with people, even when they really deserve it. In fact, I'd much rather be dumped than have to do the dumping because the guilt stays with me for months.
In fact, one more fragment that I "remember" is feeling guilty after the supposed incident. I remember feeling guilty for ruining my mom's lovely dress with the mysterious white substance. So maybe there's something to mine there. But then again, my guilt could be a product of being raised by very traditional, strict Asian parents, for whom nothing is ever good enough.
Moving On and Feeling Safe
I may not be any closer to knowing what my flashes amount to, whether a strange man on the busy streets of China actually put my hand on his penis and ejaculated onto me, but I have learned something absolute and far more important: sexual assault does not have to define me. The one thing that each and every expert I spoke to agreed on is that help is available and there's a multitude of options for every type of survivor.
"Healing and recovery cannot take place in isolation," Torielli says. "Survivors need support and to feel heard and understood." For her, that means helping survivors create a new narrative to allow the person to gain some control over the trauma. "The goal of treatment is never to erase the traumatic event, but to allow equal access to all the other parts of self," she says.
Pratt also helps her patients to reframe the story, to help them say, "I may have been victimized as a child, but I am safe now. I have created meaningful relationships and I am a survivor."
Marin has more universal advice that everyone, no matter their experience, should heed: "It's important to be extremely kind and gentle with yourself." For her clients who have gone through something traumatic like sexual assault, she helps them to create healthy and happy relationships with sex again. "It's important to shape your sex life in a way that meets your specific needs." Amen to that!
Sexual assault is an immeasurable experience. No matter what circumstances surround the assault, every instance of it is unfathomably awful, even if the instance is "forgotten." If it happened to you, it still happened to you. And everyone has the right to heal however they see fit. If you think you might have been abused but can't recall the incident, it is your prerogative if you want to take it upon yourself to search for the key that your brain threw away all those years ago. If trying to remember will help you to move forward, then get digging. But if you feel anxious about what you could potentially unearth and you're fine not knowing for sure, then that is also your choice. Either way, you should not feel ashamed for what has happened to you, and you are not alone.
What I have learned from my own personal excavation attempt is that it may be time for me to stop looking for that key. In talking to my team of experts, I've realized that I am extremely lucky to have come out of my potential trauma, and the stress of not knowing, unscathed. I haven't let my "flashes" of sexual abuse define me.
I never ended up confronting my mom about the flashes, and I don't think I will. The possibility of learning the truth from her is not worth the potential pain that might come with it, and I'm certainly not going to let this maybe-incident color my judgment of her as a mother. So I'm going to let my memories, flashes, figments of my imagination - whatever they are - stay hidden, and instead, I'm going to unlock something else, door number two. That door leads to a life without wondering, a life in which I focus on the happy and healthy things that I know for certain happened throughout my life. I think it's the life that 4-year-old me would have wanted to have.
13 Things Young Moms Are Tired of Hearing
While some women choose to wait a while before having kids, there are plenty who opt to start a family a bit earlier. Right now, most of those young women are millennials, and they're basking in the benefits of being a younger mom - more energy, less need for sleep, and a body that bounces back a bit quicker - but they're over it when it comes to getting asked the same questions, being told the same things, and honestly, being shamed for starting a family young.
These are 13 of those things that young moms are super tired of hearing - and if you're one of those moms, just practice your best fake smile/eye roll/polite laugh to get through it. Read on to see how it's done.
13 Exciting Milestones Princess Charlotte Hit Before Her Second Birthday
Princess Charlotte been a very busy little girl - but then again, she is no ordinary 2-year-old. When her father is king, she will be second in line to the throne, so there are more to her milestones than first word, first steps, and first tooth. Take a look at all the different things the little princess has done in her jam-packed first two years.
5 Minutes of This Booty-Building Workout Will Make Your Body Burn
Are you ready to feel the burn . . . in your glutes!? It's booty day - and we're doing a little plyo, a little cardio, and a lot of bodyweight strengthening that'll build that butt while blasting calories. These six moves don't require a gym or any equipment, so you can do them anywhere, any time. Take five minutes to go through the entire circuit, or repeat it a few times to get an even stronger burn and better workout. Bonus: These moves will totally help runners get stronger legs, glutes, and glute meds - which is all amazing for injury prevention!
Luis Miguel Is Giving Everyone a Look at His Life in This New TV Series
You couldn't turn on the radio in the '80s, '90s, and early 2000s without hearing Luis Miguel's voice, but the Mexican singer has been out of the spotlight for a while. That's about to change, because the music superstar is debuting a TV series based on his life.
Telemundo has been granted exclusive rights to broadcast the episodes in the US. "For decades I have been asked to tell my story, many have created their own versions, now I have decided to tell the true story of my life," Miguel stated in a press release. "I am ready to revisit my past and its many aspects that have sparked so much curiosity and speculation. People will travel alongside with me through a surprising, unexpected and emotional journey that has shaped the artist and the person that I am today." The series is set to premiere in 2018, but in the meantime, watch the trailer above.
I May Never Know if I Was Sexually Assaulted
All my life, these flashes have played in my mind like a choppy, hand-cranked silent film. I was in high school when the snippets suddenly began to make sense. I was no more than 3 or 4 years old. There was the crowded street in China - so blurry in my mind it could have been rendered in watercolor. There was the lucid flash of a stranger's hand grabbing mine and then the unmistakable image of my tiny hand being placed around his penis. But perhaps the most distinct image in this foggy vignette is the white substance that followed me home and somehow ended up on my mother's black dress.
The question remains: were these "flashes" memories of an incident that actually took place, or did my unreliable young brain create them? Was I sexually assaulted?
Sexual abuse survivors often have flashbacks of their assaults, triggered by the elements of daily life, that force them to relive the horrifying experience all over again. Experts recommend recognizing your triggers and avoiding them to the best of your ability, so as to prevent future flashbacks. But what if you're not sure that your assault even happened, so all you do is relive the maybe-incident in your mind repeatedly, voluntarily? What exactly does that do to a person?
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life, along with a dizzying swirl of contingent questions that rotate in my head, like "Why didn't my mom stop the assault? How could she be so oblivious? Did anyone else on the street see this happening?" But the most significant portion of this mystery that I am aching to solve is how it has affected me as a person throughout my life and into adulthood.
To help me put together the pieces of this puzzle, I enlisted the help of three experts who work with sexual assault survivors every day, including those who have trouble remembering their incidents. I would like to contribute to the important conversation by allowing others in a similar situation to feel less alone and to provide them with some answers.
Can Sexual Assault Be Forgotten?
According to Josie Torielli, assistant director of intervention programs at the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, these "forgotten" incidents happen "quite often." Though there aren't exact statistics for how many people have repressed memories of their sexual abuse, most sexual assault counselors and therapists have worked on such cases. "Forgetting" your sexual abuse is especially likely for young children "due to the developmental processes of the mind," Torielli says.
The uncertainty of whether or not I was sexually abused has gnawed at me my whole life.This is true for all memories formed before a certain age - apparently, I refused to eat when I was a toddler, which I find inconceivable given my current appetite, but my mom swears it's true - but when there's trauma involved, your brain works overtime to "protect" you from these harmful memories and reliving the experience.
"In simple terms, our brains only allow us to experience what we are able to withstand," says Lindsey Pratt, a psychotherapist in New York City who specializes in sexual trauma and abuse. "This is one of the reasons why repression of traumatic childhood memories is so common, as children are not as well equipped to cope or make sense of fear, panic, anger, shame, or sadness as adults may be."
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode and activates a chemical called catecholamine, which is used to engage your fight-or-flight response. "Catecholamine also interferes with and impedes the encoding of memory," Torielli says. As a result, your brain locks these traumatic memories away in a special place, the limbic system, and pretty much throws away the key.
Pratt explains: "Theories on memory repression posit that trauma memories, including those which have been repressed, get 'stuck' in the limbic brain. They are then unable to integrate into the more logical, developed portion of the brain responsible for functional working memory, the prefrontal cortex, which is where our more 'normal' memories are stored."
In other words, memories of the pony at your fourth birthday party live in the prefrontal cortex, which you can access at any time, while memories of any kind of trauma live in the limbic system, which can be buried so deep you'll need a psychological excavation team to help you unearth anything.
The Problem With Repressed Memories
"Unfortunately, there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."Even though some experts have offered a scientific explanation for how and why your brain redacts certain incidents from your life transcript, others are not so quick to fully accept these explanations. Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and creator of A Survivor's Guide to Reclaiming Your Sex Life After Abuse, pointed out that this is a controversial topic within the psychotherapy community.
There have been a slew of cases over the last few decades that revealed that "repressed memory" therapy, which bubbled in popularity in the '90s, led to false memories and accusations. The issue was brought to the forefront when repressed memories were used to convict accused sexual abusers in court, only to have the alleged victim later recant their accusations. Some experts assert that, at the end of the day, there just isn't enough empirical evidence supporting the theory of repressed memories, even if it sounds completely plausible.
After all, memory in general can be a fickle and elusive beast.
"What we know about memory is that it is extremely malleable," Marin explains. "Each time we retrieve a memory, we have the capacity to alter or reframe it in some way."
Great. As if my brain weren't unreliable enough with regular memories from adulthood (I once blew the easiest job interview question ever when I was asked what my favorite bands were and my mind blanked), it seems all but impossible to know whether or not I should trust the fragments that flash in my mind of a supposed trauma that potentially occurred decades ago.
"Unfortunately," says Marin, "there's no external, objective database to check our memories against."
The Effects or Lack Thereof
Not knowing whether the sexual assault took place is agonizing on its own, but the real crux of my conundrum is the effects. If I was indeed sexually assaulted, how has it shaped me as a person and how has it influenced the course of my life? And can studying the effects help me figure out what happened?
According to my panel of experts, the effects come in all shapes and sizes.
"Trauma survivors usually experience symptoms of dissociation (numbing) or activation (hyperawareness)," Torielli says. "But sexual assault survivors can experience any kind of response. We often indicate that any response to sexual assault is normal."
And often, these effects can be similar to those felt by survivors who do not remember their abuse.
"Since repressed memories are still a part of a person's memory store, they may be triggered without a visible cause," Pratt explains. Triggers can include "certain sounds, smells, or locations," and their corresponding psychological responses can include "sweating, racing heart, or panic attacks with no logical precursor."
I have never experienced any of these visceral fear responses, but what about long-term effects?
Pratt adds: "[The survivor] may also have difficulty regulating emotions, such as anger or sadness, and the long-term impact can sometimes result in either hypersensitivity to emotions or the opposite effect, a flattening of emotions, as a subconscious means to cope with triggering situations."
My Evidence Is Inconclusive
It's been almost 30 years since the assault occurred, if it did indeed occur. What transpired in that period of time amounts to a normal life, by all outward appearances. I'm a writer. I have a healthy number of friends, close ones. I've had normal relationships with a motley bunch - no identifiable patterns, no underlying threads connecting these men, nothing sinister beneath the surface. They've ranged from cocky creative types to reliable computer nerds. I've never been abused by any of them, and I've never felt unsafe with any of them - or any man, for that matter. None of them have ever called my emotional behavior into question. In fact, I would dare say that my emotions are pretty even-keeled, save for the occasional bout of PMS. Plus, I seem to have an objectively normal relationship with sex.
Sex has never been a "thing" for me. It's not something I take very seriously or very lightly; it's just something people do. It's pleasurable, but also awkward, messy, and sometimes it's the root of all your problems. Sex sits on a sliding scale of importance, shrinking and expanding, appreciating and depreciating, depending on where I am in my ongoing adventures in existence. Sex is putty in my hands. It doesn't define me. I define it.
So . . . mystery solved?
When trauma occurs, the brain goes into survival mode.Then again, I do possess some traits that could potentially stem from my repressed abuse. For example, right after moving to the States at age 5, I struggled with an extreme reluctance to inform adults of any sort of discomfort. I remember falling down and scraping up my face in first grade and being in extreme pain, but when my teacher asked me if I needed to go to the nurse's office, I hesitated and said no. This seems like a pretty plausible case of minimizing or disassociation, or it could be explained by my shaky English at the time.
Perhaps the most convincing evidence of sexual assault in my past is my tendency to feel irrationally guilty in any given situation. I feel intense guilt over everything, from not saying hi to a co-worker in the hallway to under-tipping by one percent to breaking up with people, even when they really deserve it. In fact, I'd much rather be dumped than have to do the dumping because the guilt stays with me for months.
In fact, one more fragment that I "remember" is feeling guilty after the supposed incident. I remember feeling guilty for ruining my mom's lovely dress with the mysterious white substance. So maybe there's something to mine there. But then again, my guilt could be a product of being raised by very traditional, strict Asian parents, for whom nothing is ever good enough.
Moving On and Feeling Safe
I may not be any closer to knowing what my flashes amount to, whether a strange man on the busy streets of China actually put my hand on his penis and ejaculated onto me, but I have learned something absolute and far more important: sexual assault does not have to define me. The one thing that each and every expert I spoke to agreed on is that help is available and there's a multitude of options for every type of survivor.
"Healing and recovery cannot take place in isolation," Torielli says. "Survivors need support and to feel heard and understood." For her, that means helping survivors create a new narrative to allow the person to gain some control over the trauma. "The goal of treatment is never to erase the traumatic event, but to allow equal access to all the other parts of self," she says.
Pratt also helps her patients to reframe the story, to help them say, "I may have been victimized as a child, but I am safe now. I have created meaningful relationships and I am a survivor."
Marin has more universal advice that everyone, no matter their experience, should heed: "It's important to be extremely kind and gentle with yourself." For her clients who have gone through something traumatic like sexual assault, she helps them to create healthy and happy relationships with sex again. "It's important to shape your sex life in a way that meets your specific needs." Amen to that!
Sexual assault is an immeasurable experience. No matter what circumstances surround the assault, every instance of it is unfathomably awful, even if the instance is "forgotten." If it happened to you, it still happened to you. And everyone has the right to heal however they see fit. If you think you might have been abused but can't recall the incident, it is your prerogative if you want to take it upon yourself to search for the key that your brain threw away all those years ago. If trying to remember will help you to move forward, then get digging. But if you feel anxious about what you could potentially unearth and you're fine not knowing for sure, then that is also your choice. Either way, you should not feel ashamed for what has happened to you, and you are not alone.
What I have learned from my own personal excavation attempt is that it may be time for me to stop looking for that key. In talking to my team of experts, I've realized that I am extremely lucky to have come out of my potential trauma, and the stress of not knowing, unscathed. I haven't let my "flashes" of sexual abuse define me.
I never ended up confronting my mom about the flashes, and I don't think I will. The possibility of learning the truth from her is not worth the potential pain that might come with it, and I'm certainly not going to let this maybe-incident color my judgment of her as a mother. So I'm going to let my memories, flashes, figments of my imagination - whatever they are - stay hidden, and instead, I'm going to unlock something else, door number two. That door leads to a life without wondering, a life in which I focus on the happy and healthy things that I know for certain happened throughout my life. I think it's the life that 4-year-old me would have wanted to have.
Luis Miguel Is Giving Everyone a Look at His Life in This New TV Series
You couldn't turn on the radio in the '80s, '90s and early 2000s without hearing Luis Miguel's voice, but the Mexican singer has been out of the spotlight for a while. That's about to change, because the music superstar is debuting a TV series based on his life.
Telemundo has been granted exclusive rights to broadcast the episodes in the US. "For decades I have been asked to tell my story, many have created their own versions, now I have decided to tell the true story of my life," Luis Miguel stated in a press release. "I am ready to revisit my past and its many aspects that have sparked so much curiosity and speculation. People will travel alongside with me through a surprising, unexpected and emotional journey that has shaped the artist and the person that I am today." The series is set to premiere in 2018, but in the meantime, watch the trailer above.
5 Minutes of This Booty-Building Workout Will Make Your Body Burn
Are you ready to feel the burn . . . in your glutes!? It's booty day - and we're doing a little plyo, a little cardio, and a lot of bodyweight strengthening that'll build that butt while blasting calories. These six moves don't require a gym or any equipment, so you can do them anywhere, any time. Take five minutes to go through the entire circuit, or repeat it a few times to get an even stronger burn and better workout. Bonus: These moves will totally help runners get stronger legs, glutes, and glute meds - which is all amazing for injury prevention!
13 Things Young Moms Are Tired of Hearing
While some women choose to wait a while before having kids, there are plenty who opt to start a family a bit earlier. Right now, most of those young women are millennials, and they're basking in the benefits of being a younger mom - more energy, less need for sleep, and a body that bounces back a bit quicker - but they're over it when it comes to getting asked the same questions, being told the same things, and honestly, being shamed for starting a family young.
These are 13 of those things that young moms are super tired of hearing - and if you're one of those moms, just practice your best fake smile/eye roll/polite laugh to get through it. Read on to see how it's done.
These Father-Daughter Illustrations Are Sweet Enough to Make a Grown Man Cry
It's hard to put into words why the relationship between a father and a daughter is so special. Perhaps that's why Ukrainian artist Snezhana Soosh decided to use watercolor paints.
In her recent series of Instagram illustrations, Soosh depicts the sweet-yet-silly bond between a dad and his little girl, whether it's braiding her hair or giving up a sizable portion of a king-size bed to make sure she sleeps soundly. Although the magic captured in the drawings focuses on one very loving dad (and his adorable daddy's girl), there are some any parent can relate to, like the need to look away from that massive pile of work to enjoy imaginary tea time . . . or play a rousing game of hide-and-seek.
We hope Soosh continues to paint these beautiful depictions of fatherly love - they serve as wonderful reminders that there are no limits to the ways a daddy can love his daughter.
These Father-Daughter Illustrations Are Sweet Enough to Make a Grown Man Cry
It's hard to put into words why the relationship between a father and a daughter is so special. Perhaps that's why Ukrainian artist Snezhana Soosh decided to use watercolor paints.
In her recent series of Instagram illustrations, Soosh depicts the sweet-yet-silly bond between a dad and his little girl, whether it's braiding her hair or giving up a sizable portion of a king-size bed to make sure she sleeps soundly. Although the magic captured in the drawings focuses on one very loving dad (and his adorable daddy's girl), there are some any parent can relate to, like the need to look away from that massive pile of work to enjoy imaginary tea time . . . or play a rousing game of hide-and-seek.
We hope Soosh continues to paint these beautiful depictions of fatherly love - they serve as wonderful reminders that there are no limits to the ways a daddy can love his daughter.
It's Hard to Miss Who Kate Middleton's Stylist Channeled on Her Wedding Day
Stylist Natasha Archer - the woman behind Kate Middleton's countless elegant looks - got married at a chateau next to Bordeaux, France this past weekend. The Duchess of Cambridge's personal stylist married Chris Jackson, who also works closely with the royal family as a Getty Images photographer.
While the ceremony was stunning, we couldn't help but notice the major similarities between the dress Natasha wore and Kate's Alexander McQueen wedding dress - both have elegant lace sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a long train. We have to say we're not that surprised, since they clearly have similar taste in fashion. Scroll on to have a look at the similarities between the weddings dresses below.
Sorry, Congress, But My C-Section Is Not a "Preexisting Condition"
Dear Congress,
I've been watching with great interest as you attempt to pass the American Health Care Act, which now lies with the Senate after narrowly passing the House. In truth, I don't have Obamacare, instead getting coverage through my husbands's employer. But as a freelance writer, I watched many of my friends sign up and have healthcare coverage for the first time. What a gift.
I understand it's not a perfect system, but that's pretty much par for the course with American healthcare, with its difficult-to-navigate referral and billing processes (I paid more for my post-miscarriage outpatient D and C - that's dilation and curettage for those of you who aren't familiar with the emotionally painful procedure - than I did for my first C-section, hospital stay, and my daughter's five-day stay in the NICU, so obviously, we're dealing with a flawed system). Yet, I feel blessed to have insurance, just as I know my friends who get their insurance through the Affordable Care Act do.
Oh, here's the other thing: we're all women, and we're smart, and we see what you're trying to do with your new bill, and we're not happy.
This act seems to say that because we're women, who come with the expensive, messy problems of pregnancy and childbirth, we don't deserve the same kind of low-cost coverage as, say, a white male marathon runner who's never had a health problem in his life. We get that the insurance companies would prefer that guy, but that doesn't mean our government should. Actually, it means the exact opposite. You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
I am the mother of two children, and I delivered them both by C-section. I guess, if you were a jerk about it, you could call my second Cesarean preexisting, in that my doctor knew that was the safest way for me to deliver my second child and scheduled the surgery well in advance.
But my first C-section? That one came after my water breaking in the middle of the night, 16 long hours of labor, multiple epidurals that didn't work and left me with uncontrollable phantom itching, and a cervix that stopped dilating at 6 centimeters (10 is the magic number, gentlemen).
So, after all that work on my part, my doctor suggested I have a C-section. I cried, not wanting to admit that my body just wasn't doing what it was supposed to do to deliver my baby. Then I relented, and less than 30 minutes later, I had a beautiful, perfect eight-pound daughter. There was no followed birth plan, no preexisting anything, just her, coming into this world in the safest way possible for us both.
I am not alone in my need for a C-section. More than 30 percent of American mothers have had one, because, like me, their labors failed to progress, or because their baby was breech, or their placenta was covering their cervix, or their bodies couldn't handle the stress of labor and delivery. Do these mothers deserve to pay much, much more than they already are to have their babies because of something they couldn't control and wouldn't have chosen? Because no one I know wants to have a painful surgery or a stomach full of staples unless that's the only way they can ensure the health of their babies and themselves. Punishing us by not requiring our insurers to cover that surgery seems, if not criminal, than most definitely immoral.
So, Congress, let's start prioritizing your constituents - even the ones who can bear children - over the insurance companies. We are women, and we vote, so maybe think about protecting our healthcare rights, too.
Sincerely,
American women everywhere
The Internet Is Freaking Out Over This Teen's Prom Dress That She Made the Night Before
Most high schoolers spend months searching for the perfect prom dress, but Shami Oshun is no ordinary teen. The 17-year-old's prom dress is trending like wildfire on the internet, and once you see it, you'll understand why. Armed with just $15, Shami transformed an old dress into something stunning. But here's the amazing part: she started the night before her prom (yes, you read that right).
The strapless purple gown featured floor-length tulle and had gorgeous purple flowers sewn onto the train. The best part of the story? Halfway through her prom, Shami chopped off the bottom half of her dress (because the flowers were too heavy for the fabric) and debuted a whole new look that was equally as stunning. Have a look at both variations of the talented teen's awe-inspiring masterpiece ahead.
We Kinda Get Why Everyone Is Shipping Dylan Minnette and Katherine Langford
After 13 Reasons Why premiered on Netflix in March, the world was introduced to their new favorite couple: Hannah Baker and Clay Jensen. While the two, played by Katherine Langford and Dylan Minnette, don't end up together on the show because Hannah tragically takes her own life, their characters still shared an incredibly sweet bond. It's also later, after Hannah is already dead, that Clay confesses his deep love for her. Viewers are then shown a heartbreaking montage of what their lives could have been like had Hannah not killed herself and they were able to be together.
Fans of the show really want them to date in real life, but Dylan is happily taken by his girlfriend of a few years, Ray Donovan actress Kerris Dorsey. And despite things not working out the way we'd hoped on screen, Dylan and Katherine are actually really great friends. Whether they're promoting their show (that will most likely get a second season) together or just hanging out on a random weekend, they're still all kinds of (platonic) cute.
9 People in Selena Gomez's Squad
When Selena Gomez isn't off touring across the world and singing her heart out, she is often spending time with some of her friends. She definitely has some famous friends like Taylor Swift, but not all of them are in the limelight.
"I would say the biggest lesson that I've been learning since 2016 would definitely be awareness," she said on Instagram Live. "I think it's really important to be aware of, like, the people that you're surrounding yourself with, the people that are purposefully the ones you are spending time with." Clearly, Selena isn't going to spend her free time with just anyone - check out who's in her inner circle.
Sorry, Congress, but My C-Section Is Not a "Preexisting Condition"
Dear Congress,
I've been watching with great interest as you attempt to pass the American Health Care Act, which now lies with the Senate after narrowly passing the House. In truth, I don't have Obamacare, instead getting coverage through my husband's employer. But as a freelance writer, I watched many of my friends sign up and have healthcare coverage for the first time. What a gift.
I understand it's not a perfect system, but that's pretty much par for the course with American health care with its difficult-to-navigate referral and billing processes (I paid more for my postmiscarriage outpatient D and C - that's dilation and curettage, for those of you who aren't familiar with the emotionally painful procedure - than I did for my first C-section, hospital stay, and my daughter's five-day stay in the NICU, so obviously, we're dealing with a flawed system). Yet, I feel blessed to have insurance, just as I know my friends who get their insurance through the Affordable Care Act do.
Oh, here's the other thing: we're all women, and we're smart, and we see what you're trying to do with your new bill, and we're not happy.
This act seems to say that because we're women, who come with the expensive, messy problems of pregnancy and childbirth, we don't deserve the same kind of low-cost coverage as, say, a white male marathon runner who's never had a health problem in his life. We get that the insurance companies would prefer that guy, but that doesn't mean our government should. Actually, it means the exact opposite. You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
You are supposed to be champions for the American people, and half of us happen to have uteruses.
I am the mother of two children, and I delivered them both by C-section. I guess, if you were a jerk about it, you could call my second Cesarean preexisting, in that my doctor knew that was the safest way for me to deliver my second child and scheduled the surgery well in advance.
But my first C-section? That one came after my water breaking in the middle of the night, 16 long hours of labor, multiple epidurals that didn't work and left me with uncontrollable phantom itching, and a cervix that stopped dilating at 6 centimeters (10 is the magic number, gentlemen).
So, after all that work on my part, my doctor suggested I have a C-section. I cried, not wanting to admit that my body just wasn't doing what it was supposed to do to deliver my baby. Then I relented, and less than 30 minutes later, I had a beautiful, perfect eight-pound daughter. There was no followed birth plan, no preexisting anything, just her, coming into this world in the safest way possible for us both.
I am not alone in my need for a C-section. More than 30 percent of American mothers have had one, because, like me, their labor failed to progress, or because their baby was breech, or their placenta was covering their cervix, or their bodies couldn't handle the stress of labor and delivery. Do these mothers deserve to pay much, much more than they already are to have their babies because of something they couldn't control and wouldn't have chosen? Because no one I know wants to have a painful surgery or a stomach full of staples unless that's the only way they can ensure the health of their babies and themselves. Punishing us by not requiring our insurers to cover that surgery seems, if not criminal, then most definitely immoral.
So, Congress, let's start prioritizing your constituents - even the ones who can bear children - over the insurance companies. We are women, and we vote, so maybe think about protecting our healthcare rights, too.
Sincerely,
American women everywhere
9 People in Selena Gomez's Squad
When Selena Gomez isn't off touring across the world and singing her heart out, she is often spending time with some of her friends. She definitely has some famous friends like Taylor Swift, but not all of them are in the limelight.
"I would say the biggest lesson that I've been learning since 2016 would definitely be awareness," she said on Instagram Live. "I think it's really important to be aware of, like, the people that you're surrounding yourself with, the people that are purposefully the ones you are spending time with." Clearly, Selena isn't going to spend her free time with just anyone - check out who's in her inner circle.
The Internet Is Freaking Out Over This Teen's Prom Dress That She Made the Night Before
Most high schoolers spend months searching for the perfect prom dress, but Shami Oshun is no ordinary teen. The 17-year-old's prom dress is trending like wildfire on the internet, and once you see it, you'll understand why. Armed with just $15, Shami transformed an old dress into something stunning. But here's the amazing part: she started the night before her prom (yes, you read that right).
The strapless purple gown featured floor-length tulle and had gorgeous purple flowers sewn onto the train. The best part of the story? Halfway through her prom, Shami chopped off the bottom half of her dress (because the flowers were too heavy for the fabric) and debuted a whole new look that was equally as stunning. Have a look at both variations of the talented teen's awe-inspiring masterpiece ahead.
The Habits Jessica Formed to Lose 75 Pounds Also Changed Her Life
I first saw Jess at Barry's Bootcamp - she was taking class, but she may as well have been leading it. She was front and center on the floor, serving as our instructor's example of how to do all the moves properly. She was kicking some serious ass . . . and it was her third class of the day. After telling her "What I would give for your stamina," she was quick to tell me, "I used to be 245 pounds."
Jessica: Before
I didn't believe her until she pulled out her laptop and started showing me photos from her life in Wisconsin. The San Francisco-based lead instructor for Flywheel indoor cycling talks more about her next cardio class or which race she's training for than she does about her transformation. She set out with a goal that wasn't attached to numbers or a scale - she just wanted to feel better. One thing lead to the next, and she's now a fitness powerhouse, all-star trainer, and major inspiration in the Bay Area. Oh, and she lost 75 pounds in the process. Check it out.
POPSUGAR: What made you decide to start your weight-loss journey?
Jessica Forseth: I was living in Minneapolis and hit a point where I realized I just didn't feel good. I had a somewhat regular workout routine but was always intimidated to try anything new or take other classes. Around that time I was hospitalized with two blood clots in my lungs. They weren't related to weight or even diet, but it was a bit of a wake-up call that I needed to create healthier habits, focusing on what I could control versus genetic disorders.
PS: What do you think contributed to your weight gain?
JF: Throughout college and even shortly after while still living in Minneapolis, I found myself going out three to five nights a week; whether it was just a happy hour or an all-nighter, the alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day. Even as I became more active, it was never enough to offset the late-night mac and cheese, pizza, or the beer (hello, Wisconsin!).
"The alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day."
PS: What approaches had you tried to lose weight?
JF: One day I just decided I needed to force myself to get in shape and stick to a plan - my job title was even a planner, I thrive with a plan! - and I signed up for a half marathon. On a whim. Creating the training plan and just learning the best ways to fuel your body helped so much! When I moved to San Francisco, I got even more dedicated: I signed up for more races, added in cross-training, and was always reading up on nutrition, fitness, and recovery. I was tracking everything I ate and very, very, very disciplined. While this worked initially, it really wasn't sustainable; dwelling on every single calorie was an even bigger mental roadblock! My love for fitness and staying active was the key. I learned what foods fueled my body best. It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!
PS: What's your favorite way to work out?
JF: I am a sucker for high intensity! I love loud music, high-energy atmospheres where I can just get lost in the moment and variety. I'm always mixing up cardio and strength training at Flywheel and Barry's Bootcamp or running around San Francisco sightseeing.
Jessica: After
PS: What made you decide to become a Flywheel instructor?
JF: It's a funny story, actually. I used to be very anti-Spin class. I would take cycling classes at my gym as a way to force myself to cross-train and was always so bored and didn't feel like I got a great workout. I tried my first Flywheel class in Sunnyvale and not only did I get my butt kicked, I had a blast! I knew right then and there that I wanted to be that person helping everyone else find the fun in fitness and push themselves to places they didn't know they were capable of. Being able to turn a passion into a career has been so rewarding, especially since I can relate to everyone in that room, from beginner to advanced.
PS: What do you love most about Flywheel?
JF: I love the intensity and the community. There's something so empowering about a room full of people all working their asses off, no matter what their goal is. The torqboard and power scores keep me accountable, too! I like that I can just zone out and get lost in music for 45 minutes and come out feeling both refreshed and exhausted at the same time!
PS: What's your weekly exercise schedule?
JF: I try to focus my own workouts on strength training. I teach 10 to 12 Flywheel classes a week and am always committed to riding hard with my class, so strength training is so essential to help me prevent injuries! On top of teaching, I will usually take three to four Flywheel classes, go to Barry's Bootcamp five days a week, and yoga one day. When I can, I sneak in a jog outside!
PS: How do you keep workouts exciting?
JF: The best thing for me has been finding group fitness and this community! I still love a good solo run or weightlifting session, but finding workout buddies helps make it social as well! Planks are a little less torturous when you can laugh about it with a friend next to you. Taking advantage of the Bay Area is also great - just a stroll through the city hills with coffee and a buddy is a great booty workout!
PS: How much weight have you lost?
JF: In total I've lost around 75 pounds.
Jessica: Before
PS: What was the first big difference, other than the number on the scale, that really made you feel proud and excited?
JF: The biggest thing for me has been the mental change. That's what I am most proud of. I was always intimidated to try anything new or even ashamed and had the mentality that I could never do something or wasn't strong enough to even try. I've proven myself wrong so many times now that my mindset has completely shifted to "why not?" and now I LOVE pushing my limits and finding new ways to challenge myself. I was holding myself back and didn't even realize it!
PS: How do you track your weight loss?
JF: I've stopped weighing myself regularly so don't track it like I used to because I can always tell when I just don't feel as great as I know I should. That usually tells me more than the scale!
PS: What's a typical day of meals and snacks?
JF: I am always on the go running between classes, our three Bay Area studios, or my own workouts and meetings so I am adamant about starting my day with a good breakfast and carrying tons of healthy snack options. My go-to breakfast is an egg with avocado, berries, and coffee. All the coffee. I eat a lot of small meals or snacks throughout the day to keep me fueled: oatmeal with almond butter, RXbars, fruit, or nuts. I try to have a really big salad for lunch or some sort of protein and veggie combo to keep me going.
PS: Do you count calories? What's the range of calories you eat per day?
JF: I use MyFitnessPal to track; I find it keeps me accountable. Having spent years trying to lose weight, I am still very calorie-conscious, but now I try not to focus as much on calories as I do on eating clean, whole foods when I'm truly hungry. I'm so active I need the fuel, but tracking helps me choose better fuel sources. On average I range between 1,700 and 2,000 calories a day depending on my schedule and how many hours I will be sweating that day!
Jessica: After
PS: What are the healthy staples that are always in your fridge?
JF: Eggs, avocados, berries, and veggies to roast. I've been on a big brussels sprouts and asparagus kick lately! I also always have easy to grab snacks like RXbars and Justin's Almond Butter packets to throw in my purse.
PS: How do you strategize for meals out?
JF: I try to look ahead at the menu and check out what the healthier options are. But let's be real, if I'm going out to eat, it's probably for a special occasion and I am going to enjoy the chips and guacamole because what is life without chips and guacamole? Or ice cream and cookies, but that's another story.
"It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!"
PS: Do you use a fitness tracker? Which one, and how do you think it helped you?
JF: I used to use a FitBit regularly. I loved being able to track sleep, workouts, and steps, but I don't think it was prepared for the amount of hours I sweat each day as I've broken three of them.
PS: What role did Flywheel play in your journey?
JF: Being able to turn my passion into a career and take all of my own experiences - the ups, downs, good, bad, all of the lessons - into the stadium and share with this community has been so rewarding. Everyone I get to interact with every day, from the riders to instructors to our leaders, inspires me and keep me motivated to keep pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and never settling. They make me want to be better and stronger and never look back. I just hope that every time I get on that podium I can inspire someone in that room to do something they didn't think they could do because I was once that person who could barely run a block and was too afraid to even try a cycling class.
Jessica: After
PS: What advice do you have for anyone starting out on a weight-loss journey?
JF: Know that it's a long journey and it's never ending - it's not about setting one goal and then being done. It's a forever goal. It's a lifestyle. Not every day will be the healthiest or best day, but know that's not the end. And find the fun factor in your fitness routine! Whatever it is - friends, a class, your playlists - that makes you look forward to your sweat sesh.
We Kinda Get Why Everyone Is Shipping Dylan Minnette and Katherine Langford
After 13 Reasons Why premiered on Netflix in March, the world was introduced to their new favorite couple: Hannah Baker and Clay Jensen. While the two, played by Katherine Langford and Dylan Minnette, don't end up together on the show because Hannah tragically takes her own life, their characters still shared an incredibly sweet bond. It's also later, after Hannah is already dead, that Clay confesses his deep love for her. Viewers are then shown a heartbreaking montage of what their lives could have been like had Hannah not killed herself and they were able to be together.
Fans of the show really want them to date in real life, but Dylan is happily taken by his girlfriend of a few years, Ray Donovan actress Kerris Dorsey. And despite things not working out the way we'd hoped on screen, Dylan and Katherine are actually really great friends. Whether they're promoting their show (that will most likely get a second season) together or just hanging out on a random weekend, they're still all kinds of (platonic) cute.
The Habits Jessica Formed to Lose 75 Pounds Also Changed Her Life
I first saw Jess at Barry's Bootcamp - she was taking class, but she may as well have been leading it. She was front and center on the floor, serving as our instructor's example of how to do all the moves properly. She was kicking some serious ass . . . and it was her third class of the day. After telling her "What I would give for your stamina," she was quick to tell me, "I used to be 245 pounds."
Jessica: Before
I didn't believe her until she pulled out her laptop and started showing me photos from her life in Wisconsin. The San Francisco-based lead instructor for Flywheel indoor cycling talks more about her next cardio class or which race she's training for than she does about her transformation. She set out with a goal that wasn't attached to numbers or a scale - she just wanted to feel better. One thing lead to the next, and she's now a fitness powerhouse, all-star trainer, and major inspiration in the Bay Area. Oh, and she lost 75 pounds in the process. Check it out.
POPSUGAR: What made you decide to start your weight-loss journey?
Jessica Forseth: I was living in Minneapolis and hit a point where I realized I just didn't feel good. I had a somewhat regular workout routine but was always intimidated to try anything new or take other classes. Around that time I was hospitalized with two blood clots in my lungs. They weren't related to weight or even diet, but it was a bit of a wake-up call that I needed to create healthier habits, focusing on what I could control versus genetic disorders.
PS: What do you think contributed to your weight gain?
JF: Throughout college and even shortly after while still living in Minneapolis, I found myself going out three to five nights a week; whether it was just a happy hour or an all-nighter, the alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day. Even as I became more active, it was never enough to offset the late-night mac and cheese, pizza, or the beer (hello, Wisconsin!).
"The alcohol and appetizers or midnight meals all offset any healthy choices I had made during the day."
PS: What approaches had you tried to lose weight?
JF: One day I just decided I needed to force myself to get in shape and stick to a plan - my job title was even a planner, I thrive with a plan! - and I signed up for a half marathon. On a whim. Creating the training plan and just learning the best ways to fuel your body helped so much! When I moved to San Francisco, I got even more dedicated: I signed up for more races, added in cross-training, and was always reading up on nutrition, fitness, and recovery. I was tracking everything I ate and very, very, very disciplined. While this worked initially, it really wasn't sustainable; dwelling on every single calorie was an even bigger mental roadblock! My love for fitness and staying active was the key. I learned what foods fueled my body best. It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!
PS: What's your favorite way to work out?
JF: I am a sucker for high intensity! I love loud music, high-energy atmospheres where I can just get lost in the moment and variety. I'm always mixing up cardio and strength training at Flywheel and Barry's Bootcamp or running around San Francisco sightseeing.
Jessica: After
PS: What made you decide to become a Flywheel instructor?
JF: It's a funny story, actually. I used to be very anti-Spin class. I would take cycling classes at my gym as a way to force myself to cross-train and was always so bored and didn't feel like I got a great workout. I tried my first Flywheel class in Sunnyvale and not only did I get my butt kicked, I had a blast! I knew right then and there that I wanted to be that person helping everyone else find the fun in fitness and push themselves to places they didn't know they were capable of. Being able to turn a passion into a career has been so rewarding, especially since I can relate to everyone in that room, from beginner to advanced.
PS: What do you love most about Flywheel?
JF: I love the intensity and the community. There's something so empowering about a room full of people all working their asses off, no matter what their goal is. The torqboard and power scores keep me accountable, too! I like that I can just zone out and get lost in music for 45 minutes and come out feeling both refreshed and exhausted at the same time!
PS: What's your weekly exercise schedule?
JF: I try to focus my own workouts on strength training. I teach 10 to 12 Flywheel classes a week and am always committed to riding hard with my class, so strength training is so essential to help me prevent injuries! On top of teaching, I will usually take three to four Flywheel classes, go to Barry's Bootcamp five days a week, and yoga one day. When I can, I sneak in a jog outside!
PS: How do you keep workouts exciting?
JF: The best thing for me has been finding group fitness and this community! I still love a good solo run or weightlifting session, but finding workout buddies helps make it social as well! Planks are a little less torturous when you can laugh about it with a friend next to you. Taking advantage of the Bay Area is also great - just a stroll through the city hills with coffee and a buddy is a great booty workout!
PS: How much weight have you lost?
JF: In total I've lost around 75 pounds.
Jessica: Before
PS: What was the first big difference, other than the number on the scale, that really made you feel proud and excited?
JF: The biggest thing for me has been the mental change. That's what I am most proud of. I was always intimidated to try anything new or even ashamed and had the mentality that I could never do something or wasn't strong enough to even try. I've proven myself wrong so many times now that my mindset has completely shifted to "why not?" and now I LOVE pushing my limits and finding new ways to challenge myself. I was holding myself back and didn't even realize it!
PS: How do you track your weight loss?
JF: I've stopped weighing myself regularly so don't track it like I used to because I can always tell when I just don't feel as great as I know I should. That usually tells me more than the scale!
PS: What's a typical day of meals and snacks?
JF: I am always on the go running between classes, our three Bay Area studios, or my own workouts and meetings so I am adamant about starting my day with a good breakfast and carrying tons of healthy snack options. My go-to breakfast is an egg with avocado, berries, and coffee. All the coffee. I eat a lot of small meals or snacks throughout the day to keep me fueled: oatmeal with almond butter, RXbars, fruit, or nuts. I try to have a really big salad for lunch or some sort of protein and veggie combo to keep me going.
PS: Do you count calories? What's the range of calories you eat per day?
JF: I use MyFitnessPal to track; I find it keeps me accountable. Having spent years trying to lose weight, I am still very calorie-conscious, but now I try not to focus as much on calories as I do on eating clean, whole foods when I'm truly hungry. I'm so active I need the fuel, but tracking helps me choose better fuel sources. On average I range between 1,700 and 2,000 calories a day depending on my schedule and how many hours I will be sweating that day!
Jessica: After
PS: What are the healthy staples that are always in your fridge?
JF: Eggs, avocados, berries, and veggies to roast. I've been on a big brussels sprouts and asparagus kick lately! I also always have easy to grab snacks like RXbars and Justin's Almond Butter packets to throw in my purse.
PS: How do you strategize for meals out?
JF: I try to look ahead at the menu and check out what the healthier options are. But let's be real, if I'm going out to eat, it's probably for a special occasion and I am going to enjoy the chips and guacamole because what is life without chips and guacamole? Or ice cream and cookies, but that's another story.
"It's a positive cycle: the better you feel, the better you perform, which makes you want to keep it up!"
PS: Do you use a fitness tracker? Which one, and how do you think it helped you?
JF: I used to use a FitBit regularly. I loved being able to track sleep, workouts, and steps, but I don't think it was prepared for the amount of hours I sweat each day as I've broken three of them.
PS: What role did Flywheel play in your journey?
JF: Being able to turn my passion into a career and take all of my own experiences - the ups, downs, good, bad, all of the lessons - into the stadium and share with this community has been so rewarding. Everyone I get to interact with every day, from the riders to instructors to our leaders, inspires me and keep me motivated to keep pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and never settling. They make me want to be better and stronger and never look back. I just hope that every time I get on that podium I can inspire someone in that room to do something they didn't think they could do because I was once that person who could barely run a block and was too afraid to even try a cycling class.
Jessica: After
PS: What advice do you have for anyone starting out on a weight-loss journey?
JF: Know that it's a long journey and it's never ending - it's not about setting one goal and then being done. It's a forever goal. It's a lifestyle. Not every day will be the healthiest or best day, but know that's not the end. And find the fun factor in your fitness routine! Whatever it is - friends, a class, your playlists - that makes you look forward to your sweat sesh.
3 Holistic Spa DIY Recipes Featuring Authentic Thai Ingredients
One of the best parts of spending my honeymoon in Thailand was experiencing the spas! Southeast Asia is known for having an amazing spa culture - where you can walk into any place on the street and supposedly get an amazing hour-long massage for just $20. But since it was my honeymoon, I am beauty obsessed, and I knew my dollar would go far, I opted to get my treatments at some of the more upscale spots. (YOLO!)
The most impressive spa I visited during my week in Thailand was the Secret Garden Spa at the Four Seasons Koh Samui. The name totally makes sense: from the front, the spa looks like a one-room shop. But go out the back, and there is a massive jungle terrain with huts. In each hut, treatments are offered. It feels like you're getting massaged in your own little villa.
What also made this experience so cool is that the Secret Garden Spa either grows on site or locally sources Thai ingredients and incorporates them into treatments. These were many of the same ingredients I was eating in authentic Thai food - coconut milk, lemongrass, kaffir lime, ginger, and turmeric. For example, I booked the Kala Coconut Massage, which involves a masseuse using warm coconut oil and a smooth coconut shell on my muscles. My husband got a massage that incorporated Thai spices being sprinkled on his back.
Since Koh Samui isn't the easiest place to get to, the Secret Garden Spa director Stephanie Arveux is sharing ways to make your own Thai spa at home. Here, she sheds light on why three Thai ingredients - coconut, kaffir lime, and ginger - have beauty benefits. She also cooked up three easy DIY recipes you can try.
Mom's Stunning Photography Sheds Light on Miscarriage and Infant Loss
Natalie McCain has been photographing and celebrating real moms' bodies since 2015, when she started The Honest Body Project, which serves to combat body-image issues. Since then, she's photographed postpartum bodies in a number of different ways: with breastfeeding mothers, pregnant mothers, and tragically, mothers who have experienced loss.
Natalie's upcoming book full of beautiful black and white photos and emotionally charged stories from real mamas, The Honest Body Project: Raw, Untouched Portraits of What It Means to Be a Woman ($25, available Aug. 15, 2017), dedicates an entire chapter to those moms who have lost a child, whether due to miscarriage or infant loss.
Natalie's hope for this chapter, as written in its intro, is to shed light on the fact that one in four women experience miscarriage or infant loss, but many almost never speak about it. Ahead, read some of the heart-wrenching stories from four moms who have tragically lost a child and are speaking out to help break the silence and support other moms who have gone through similar situations.
Mom's Stunning Photography Sheds Light on Miscarriage and Infant Loss
Natalie McCain has been photographing and celebrating real moms' bodies since 2015, when she started The Honest Body Project, which serves to combat body-image issues. Since then, she's photographed postpartum bodies in a number of different ways: with breastfeeding mothers, pregnant mothers, and tragically, mothers who have experienced loss.
Natalie's upcoming book full of beautiful black and white photos and emotionally charged stories from real mamas, The Honest Body Project: Raw, Untouched Portraits of What It Means to Be a Woman ($25, available Aug. 15, 2017), dedicates an entire chapter to those moms who have lost a child, whether due to miscarriage or infant loss.
Natalie's hope for this chapter, as written in its intro, is to shed light on the fact that one in four women experience miscarriage or infant loss, but many almost never speak about it. Ahead, read some of the heart-wrenching stories from four moms who have tragically lost a child and are speaking out to help break the silence and support other moms who have gone through similar situations.
WTF, You Won't Believe the Gluten-Free "Meal" This Guy Was Served on a Plane
When Martin Pavelka requested a gluten-free breakfast on his nine-hour flight from Tokyo to Sydney, he was served the saddest excuse for a meal we've ever seen: a single, lousy banana. The Londoner, who suffers from the digestive condition celiac disease, was given a fitting meal the night before, but when morning came, his breakfast didn't nearly stack up to what his fellow passengers were eating.
While the other travelers dug into eggs, sausage, mushrooms, bread, and yogurt, the All Nippon Airways flight attendants simply handed Martin a banana plastered with a "GF" (for gluten-free) sticker. What's more is that his "meal" came with a set of plastic cutlery, according to The Telegraph. Because everyone eats their bananas with a fork and knife these days, right?
As you can expect, Martin was pretty darn upset about his subpar breakfast. "This was a nine-hour flight. Although definitely gluten-free, the banana did not keep me full for very long," he told the Evening Standard. "In my opinion, I don't think they really get the concept of allergies and alternative meals," he added.
After the passenger filed a complaint about the incident, an airline spokesman responded with a promise to review the company's policy on addressing passengers' needs. "ANA takes great pride in providing an exemplary customer experience for all passengers, and for this one passenger we did not meet his expectations. We have apologised to him personally and as a result of his experience we are reviewing our policy on gluten-free options and how they are served," he said, according to the Evening Standard.
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