Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
jeudi 1 juin 2017
Dad Explains Why a Toddler Having a Tantrum Is Actually a Sign of Good Parenting
We've all heard it in some capacity before (and maybe we've even been guilty of saying it ourselves) when a child is having a meltdown in public: "That parent needs to control their kids." As a parent, though, you know that's so much easier said than done. After dealing with his own toddler's tantrum at a Red Robin, one dad is sharing his opinion on public kiddo meltdowns.
"I'm stuck in the van with my toddler," starts Clint Edwards in a post to his blog's Facebook page. "We went out to dinner as a family, and she had a meltdown because mom wouldn't let her throw chicken strips. So she screamed, and screamed, and kicked and kicked, and since I was the only one finished with my meal, I had the pleasure of dragging her out of Red Robin."
The frustrated dad continues, sharing that as he carried her out, everyone he passed - mostly childless people, he assumed - stared at him with that "look that seems to say, 'If you can't control your kid, then don't go out.'"
"Well," he wrote. "No. I can't control her. She's 2 and it's going to take years to teach her how to act appropriately in public, and the only way I am ever going to teach that is to take her out and show her what's right and wrong. By saying no a million times, letting her throw a fit, and telling her no again."
The dad's post continues, emphasizing how difficult it can be to parent in these awkward situations, but that it's a process everyone's own parents had to go through with them at one point in time as well.
These lessons take patience, hard work, and real world experiences, and I'm sorry to those at the bar who got irritated by my child's fit, but you are part of this practice. Your parents did the same with you, and that's how you now know how to recognize when a child does something irritating in a restaurant. It's how you learned to look at a situation and say, "That parent needs to control their kids."
It's how you learned to be a respectable person.
Clint wraps up his post with empathy and understanding, but also drives his point home. "I get it. Kids are irritating when they are loud in a restaurant. I know. I'm living it," he wrote. "But before you get angry and judgmental, realize that what you are witnessing is not bad parenting, but rather, parents working hard to fix the situation. You are looking at what it takes to turn a child into a person."
Why This Mom Puts 5 Hairbands on Wrist to Deal With Her Difficult Toddler
Today a mom in Virginia put five black hairbands on her wrist, not because she wants to be certain that her hair is up at all times but because she wants to be a better parent to her "testy" four-year-old son.
Confused? Let Angel Camden explain:
I've found myself so incredibly stressed out, I beat my head against the wall daily because I don't understand why my four-year-old insists on being disrespectful and a non-listener. I was to the point of crying at least every other day.
I wore 5 rubber bands on my wrist from the time I got up, to the time I tucked him in just now. The 5 rubber bands represent every time you lose your cool or say something unkind to your child. Every time that happens, you move one band to the other wrist. To "gain the band back," you must do 5 kind/positive things with your child – a dance party, singing a song together, reading together . . .
Her experiment wasn't just something she came up with on her own. She had read about its effectiveness.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman calls it "the magic ratio" - that as long as there are five times as many positive interactions between people as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable. Even a Harvard-published study revealed that having at least five positive comments ("I agree with that," or "that's a terrific idea") to negative comments fosters ideal team performance.
"I'm going to be using this method until it becomes a habit and basically turns into an autopilot ritual," Camden said on her Facebook post. "I have finished the day with all five bands on the original wrist. I'm very proud of myself for exercising patience with him. I know it's only Day 1, but I'm hopeful this will help our communication skills and our relationship. If you find yourself being that 'angry mom,' try this!"
See the Places Barack and Michelle Called Home Before the White House
Until very recently, Barack and Michelle Obama have proudly called 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue "home." For almost a decade, not only has this monumental White House served as their living quarters and "office space," but it has been where they have raised two cute little girls into poised and well-rounded young women. And while they have already selected their new home post-White House, we were curious to know where Barack and Michelle lived before they both became staples of American history. Read on for an inside look at their digs long before we referred to this power couple as president and first lady.
Why 1 School Put Students Through a Lunch-Shaming "Roll Call"
It seems like every week there's a new story on parents or kids being called out for the food packed in their lunchboxes or the lack of money in their accounts. But students are speaking out after one New Jersey school took things a step further by publicly giving students a serious ultimatum.
According to students at Fair Lawn High School, kids who owed lunch money were called out during an assembly and told they wouldn't receive their diplomas if they didn't settle their debt.
"Exactly like a roll call, and for [overdue library] books, the students called had to actually walk over to the stage and pick something up," Fair Lawn senior Benny Koval told The Daily Beast. "The first few names provoked a lot of laughter and name-calling."
My high school's having a name & shame for students who owe lunch and/or book money.
Admins say they won't graduate unless debts are covered http://pic.twitter.com/RTAdIpyeos- benny • בני (@bennykoval) May 31, 2017
After the school's assembly took the surprising twist, Koval posted a video on Twitter that quickly went viral. "My high school's having a name & shame for students who owe lunch and/or book money," Koval wrote. "Admins say they won't graduate unless debts are covered." After the video spread online, strangers offered to pay off the students' debts so they could walk on graduation day.
The principal's secretary, Diane Knudsen, spoke to The Daily Beast about the situation and said that the assembly's roll call of indebted students was "not a ceremony." Instead she explained, "It's their obligation."
Although states like New Mexico are officially making "lunch shaming" against the law, the issue is still rampant, even in elementary school. In Arizona, a boy was recently stamped with the words "lunch money" after the school fed him even though his lunch account had run low, leaving the child humiliated.
From Friends to Straight-Up Enemies: A Taylor Swift and Katy Perry Timeline
Of all of Taylor Swift's friendships, feuds, and flames, perhaps the most infamous is her seemingly ongoing rift with Katy Perry. And the juiciest part is that neither of them has ever mentioned each other by name. While Taylor and Katy's friendship dates back to 2008 and all the drama started around 2012-2013, the feud actually wasn't on our radar until Taylor Swift mentioned it in her Rolling Stone interview, back in August 2014. Since then, we've been following the drama, which resurfaced when Katy dropped "Swish Swish" in May. Ready to take it all back to the beginning? We're inspecting every aspect of their relationship, from square one.
This Bride's Gorgeous, Sheer Wedding Gown Will Give You Major Heart Eyes
We were casually scrolling through Instagram when we spotted Isabel Roth's gorgeous wedding in Puglia, Italy. While the bride's picturesque wedding to Jake Stein was the stuff of dreams, it was her stunning wedding dress that really stole the show.
The gorgeous bride wore a sheer wedding dress by Lebanese designer Reem Acra that featured a high neckline and long, lace sleeves. The bottom of the dress was completely sheer, revealing a figure-hugging nude slip.
If you look closely, you'll notice that there's intricate beading within the floral lace designs. As for the finishing touches, the bride wore a delicate floral crown and matching sheer veil, making her the most luxurious kind of bohemian bride. Have a look at her incredible wedding dress ahead.
Dentist denied payment for Indigenous client to be repaid by government
Health Canada and Alberta Health have reached an agreement to reimburse Dr. Terry Lim for the two dental implants he provided for Summer Dawn White Eagle, a young First Nations woman born with a cleft palate.
37 Surreal Places to See the Clearest, Bluest Water on Earth
There's nothing more tantalizing than seeing a body of clear, blue water. Check out the most incredible oceans and lakes that you can visit and dive right into - they're calling your name!
5 Reasons Sisters Make the Best Entrepreneurial Duos
Some of the most successful teams - from creative partners to business colleagues to teams on The Amazing Race - have been sibling teams, and it's easy to figure out why: siblings are naturally competitive, they can freely provide feedback, they quickly move on from arguments, and they're each other's biggest cheerleaders. They've been teammates - for better or worse - since the very beginning of their lives.
Take the sisterly duo behind the jewelry brand Dannijo, Danielle and Jodie Snyder. Growing up together in Jacksonville, FL, they "worked" together to teach themselves wirework using their cardiologist father's medical tools. Reconnecting in New York after college, the two picked up their old hobby again, creating a capsule jewelry collection for Danielle's nonprofit, Live With a Lifelong Ambition, and then they officially launched Dannijo in 2008. Today, the jewelry pieces are designed and manufactured in NYC, and the packaging is hand made in Rwanda as part of a women's empowerment partnership with Indego Africa.
The sisters-turned-business partners clearly have similar values and share a vision for their company - to the point where you might not be able to tell where the brand ends and their relationship begins. We asked Danielle to tell us why she thinks business partnerships between sisters tend to flourish, so keep reading for her insights on why this this unique bond lends itself to business success.
See the First Photos of the Official Beauty and the Beast Makeup Collection
Wondering why there wasn't an official makeup collection centered around the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast? Us too. Disney caters to every detail when it comes to their theatrical releases, so we expected an announcement around the time the film was released, only to learn there wasn't anything in the works.
Sure, there was a limited-edition serum, (an unverified) full-range collection overseas, and even Beauty and the Beast-inspired brushes that weren't affiliated with the film. But the lack of authentic Belle-inspired makeup left something to be desired. Alice Through the Looking Glass had an official collaboration. As did the live-action Cinderella remake. This is arguably the most anticipated film of the year - so where is our Beauty and the Beast collection?
Perhaps Disney was testing our patience, much like the Beast's? It doesn't matter, because Lorac Los Angeles partnered with the House of Mouse on a limited-edition makeup collection, launching today! There's a 16-shade eye shadow palette, a cheek palette, and a lip gloss and lipstick collection. And you might shed a tear at how gorgeous everything is.
Scroll through the gallery to see all the products and to learn more about the inspiration behind them!
See The First Photos of the Official Beauty and the Beast Makeup Collection
Wondering why there wasn't an official makeup collection centered around the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast? Us too. Disney caters to every detail when it comes to their theatrical releases, so we expected an announcement around the time the film was released, only to learn there wasn't anything in the works.
Sure, there was a limited-edition serum, (an unverified) full-range collection overseas, and even Beauty and the Beast-inspired brushes that weren't affiliated with the film. But the lack of authentic Belle-inspired makeup left something to be desired. Alice Through the Looking Glass had an official collaboration. As did the live-action Cinderella remake. This is arguably the most anticipated film of the year - so where is our Beauty and the Beast collection?
Perhaps Disney was testing our patience, much like the Beasts? It doesn't matter, because Lorac Los Angeles partnered with the House of Mouse on a limited-edition makeup collection, launching today! There's a 16-shade eye shadow palette, a cheek palette, a lip gloss and lipstick collection. And you might shed a tear at how gorgeous everything is.
Scroll through the gallery to see all the products and to learn more about the inspiration behind them!
6 Rules to Follow When Downsizing Your Belongings
If you're a small-space dweller looking to downsize your belongings or if you're just motivated by the season to clean out your clutter, there are a few rules you should consider before you break out the garbage bags. We spoke to expert Jacquie Denny, co-founder of estate-sale website Everything But the House (EBTH). She has an in-depth knowledge of which home items to keep, toss, and resell, as well as how to do it. Check out her great tips for thoughtfully scaling back belongings ahead.
1. Toss Anything You Don't Use 80 Percent of the Time
You have to be ruthless when downsizing. "Stick to the basics," Jacquie recommends. She advises tossing all impulsive or experimental purchases, as well as getting rid of any pieces that are so specific that they're impractical, such as Christmas-themed poached egg cups you got in your stocking seven years ago and never seem to remember to use over the holidays. For the kitchen, Jacquie advises, "what pots, pans, and essentials do you cook with for 80 percent of your meals? Keep those and let go of the rest (i.e. no bread maker that you only use once a year)." Ultimately, less is more.
2. Don't Get a Storage Unit
"I tell everyone I work with that off-site storage is not your friend," says Jacquie. "Often people send things away to storage because they don't truly need them, but they are not ready to say goodbye." And if you've made the mistake of putting something in storage, Jacquie suggests you toss it after a year.
3. Differentiate Between Decoration and Clutter
The line between decor and clutter can get fuzzy - is that a stylish statue or a messy knickknack? - and Jacquie says it has a lot to do with each homeowner's personality. "My rule is that once a shelf gets too busy visually, you have too much. Multiples of an item tend to make it impossible to appreciate the aesthetic of any one thing." In short, if you see more decor than surface area, it's time to clear out.
4. Sell Items With Resale Potential
Now that you've set aside all nonessentials, take a look through what you're getting rid of. Jacquie says books, crystal vases, tableware, and baskets have potential resale value, as do decor vintage items. To gauge if something is trash or treasure, she says to check for a few things: "Is this piece signed by an artist or does it have a significant maker's mark on it? Is this piece one of a kind or is it from a limited-production run? Is this piece made of expensive metals (silver, gold, or platinum)? Is a book a first edition or illustrated by a notable artist?"
5. Sell Art With Value
What you can get money back on when it comes to art may surprise you. "Value in the art market can vary from region to region," says Jacquie. While decorative and mass-produced art doesn't hold up and should be donated, original pieces signed by the artist (even if you've never heard of the artist) consistently resell well, as do prints by first-rate artists like Picasso and Miró. She recommends checking out an online resource, like EBTH, with archives that give examples of what items are currently worth at market.
6. Keep What You Love
KonMari says to keep only the items that spark joy, but Jacquie says something even simpler: "My number-one rule is to always keep what you love. Nothing is worse than holding onto things that are mediocre!"
The Best Pajama Sets For Your Summer Share House
Weekend getaways with best friends are a fun way to bond with pals, and while you can get hotel rooms, it's much more advantageous to share a house together. So for your next jaunt out of town, don't pack your old gym t-shirt and baggy sweats as sleepwear. Try one of these sweet pajama sets for the ultimate sleepover memories. Pick your favorite combo and even give one to your friends.
The Life and Times of My Drag Queen Grandmother, Flawless Sabrina
I met my grandmother, Flawless Sabrina, when I was 18. It was 2001, and I had just moved to New York City from Syracuse. I went to the West Side Piers for Wigstock, a drag festival they had back then. I couldn't afford the $20 to get in and see the performance, so I hung out near the entrance and took pictures of some of the queens who were coming in and out. As Flawless Sabrina left, I took a picture of her, and she said to me, "You're on the wrong side of the camera, kid."
I hung that picture on my wall. Later, I continued to see her around in the club scene. She was always the oldest person in the club. She's now 77 and has lived in the same apartment in New York for 50 years.
In the pre-Stonewall days, Flawless Sabrina was incarcerated 100 times. She committed about 100 felonies for the crime of cross-dressing while she toured her drag contests around America from 1959 to 1969. She and her friends took that act from town to city to town, all across America from Appalachia to the Pacific Northwest. They would organize local talent to perform. In a grassroots effort coordinated by phone tree, advance people would go to the next city or town to hang out in the coffee shops, find out who the gossip queens were, and who could spread the word that the drag contest was coming to town. It was an underground network.
Those are the people that I look to in times like this: our elders who survived intolerably hostile environments and times. Many of the people I revere and look up to have been able to see around the corner. It seems trans folks have a long history of being seers in their communities.
Throughout history, we have been persecuted. Globally, we are persecuted. Nationally, we're persecuted. The stakes are always changing. And the stakes I have, as an American-born white trans woman, are very different from the stakes of my trans sisters who are undocumented and from Central America. The stakes are different for all of us, so it's essential that we look out for the more vulnerable members of our community. Pride this year is more important than it has ever been in my lifetime.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience.Flawless Sabrina would tell me stories about the way the queens used to treat each other or trans women. Sex workers in Central Park were throwing acid in each other's faces, or super-gluing bits of razor blades under their fingernails, so they could claw each other. We're a group of people who have not always had a good sense of community or sisterhood, a people who've been devoured by internalized shame.
We can't afford to attack each other any longer. It's divisive and cruel to single people out because their politics are different from ours. We're all fighting for the same things, respect and equality.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience that Flawless has shown. We need to nourish the sense of pride that catapulted the first brick at the Stonewall riots. We need to listen to our inner voices saying: "I'm worth more than this, and I'm willing to speak out and fight for it!"
As told to Ryan Roschke
Oreo O's Are Returning to Store Shelves After 10 Long Years!
Oreo O's haven't been on store shelves since 2007, but they're finally making a comeback! The iconic cookies and cream cereal from the '90s will hit store shelves again in June, a whole 10 years later. Originally launched in 1998 (with the throwback commercial to prove it), Oreo O's were hands down one of the best cereals for kids (and let's be honest, adults) in the early 2000s. The miniature, Oreo-flavored chocolate cereal will make a much-appreciated return, and it promises to be just as delicious as you remember.
A spokesperson said in a statement, "Fans of the iconic OREO O's cereal will find the product has stayed true to its roots, with OREO cookie bits and a crème coating combined to make the chocolaty, crunchy O's that can be enjoyed in a bowl with milk, or straight out of the box." You can use the Post brand store locator to find out which stores in your area are selling Oreo O's, including Walmart. Commence the freak-out as you discover it for yourself in the cereal aisle, and prepare to stock up!
How We Grieve
My breath catches. I scan the headline. Not again. I click the link and my computer screen flashes white momentarily. My face lights up briefly as the page transitions away, and in the space of a millisecond, I feel the tides of grief begin to surge up and lick at the walls of my heart. The new page loads and the headline glares out at me immediately: Gay Night Club Shooting. I feel far away and disoriented, my mind protecting itself in a haze of disbelief. Bad enough for another shooting to occur, but in a gay club, a safe haven for queer bodies and outcasts and others and beauty queens and punks and cool kids - now no longer a haven for queer bodies but a charnel house for them. My mind slowly returns to reality with the repeated metronome of a sound. It takes me moments to realize it is my own voice in a low monotone: "No . . . no . . . no . . . "
It is not usual and nothing will be normal again.The day passes in a haze. I almost hit a pair of joggers backing up my car and slam on the brakes. My hands grip the wheel; my knuckles strain against the thin skin of my fist, turning it into a skeletal claw, a sudden and unwelcome reminder of the mortality lurking the skin. How fragile the human body is, and how easy it is to break it and spill the secret contents, like the bodies now lining the rooms and hallways in Orlando. I picture a macabre still life of the interior lives of men and women, an embarrassing display of the utmost privacy made public - stop. I did not know these people. With the creak of stiff leather I peel my hands off the wheel.
I check my blind spots carefully and back up. Something clicks and gives a hitch somewhere in the internal mechanism of my car. It's as if even this machine is aware of the turbulence passing through the heartstrings of the world and struggles to function normally and as usual. It is not usual and nothing will be normal again.
Word begins circulating through social media by noon. Memorial service. Downtown. Six o'clock. We make our way there, drawn by an atavistic impulse to congregate, to hold one another, to make contact.
Yes, I am real. Yes, I feel you.
The lines of people flow in from every block, forming a mass of people in the park, sands of an hourglass being hopelessly poured in reverse, imploring time to go back, go back, just this once. It does not.
We stand under an old tree as part of the congregation. I hold my lover and feel him shiver in my arms. I feel a hand on my shoulder and it is my friend Gary, a consoling smile warm under his bushy beard. He enfolds me in his arms. All around us similar tableaus play out, lovers and friends and strangers reaching out and holding, caring, comforting. There there, it's time to cry. Grieve with me. The tears flow hot and unexpected: I did not know these people. I was not there. Why am I heartbroken. I do not understand.
By now, the extent of the horror is well known: 49 dead, 53 wounded. Words like "terrorist" and "hate crime" and "ISIS" are being thrown around. That is fine. Let the world take our tragedy and use it for its own purposes.
That is what the world has always done best with our culture. We are here for your entertainment. Let our tragedy make your lives better. But not now. Not in this moment, linked arm in arm with the men and women and intimates and strangers who are the nervous system of our community. Right now we grieve. The "massacre" that merely makes a scrolling tic in the news has torn a gaping wound in our collective hearts. But this is what WE do best: take care of each other. Feel each other's hearts and lives and souls, and cry when we hurt, and raise our voices when we succeed. There will be time for politics. This is a time for our family to grieve.
Putting in the Work: How I Discovered My Own Philosophy on Pride
I have to admit that, when I first started to glimpse the trans adult I was inevitably becoming, I was not optimistic. I was 25 and felt I had suffered through enough spells of self-reflection, alienation, and shame that came tethered to my sexuality. I realized I was on the threshold of doing the gender work I had avoided, and all I saw was the labor - a reality anyone with an identity has to navigate - and I couldn't see the joy of self-possession or all the beauty on the other side of that labor.
My wife and my therapist will recall how I paraphrased Franz Kafka - back in my paraphrasing Franz Kafka days - while avoiding meditating on my queer identity. Kafka's experience around his Jewish identity deserves its own essay, and needless to say, there's already a body of work about it. Rather than contextualize Kafka's logic, I'll just skip to his reflection: "What do I have in common with Jews? I hardly have anything in common with myself, and should stand very quietly in a corner, content that I can breathe." How the hell did I get from there to writing an essay about pride?
Seven very full years have passed and in that time, I've learned not to be afraid of having things in common with myself or with my community. In order to dismantle that fear, I started with the relationships that felt most private and nurturing: those with my partner and my therapist, and perhaps unsurprisingly, with writers. I had a queer partner, a trans therapist, and an abundance of books and essays as new intellectual reference points instead of Kafka. They revealed to me that I could, and actually should, do more with my one wild and precious life (in the words of Mary Oliver) than stand very quietly in a corner, simply content that I could breathe.
Dismantling that fear and seeking out a new definition of contentment, as much as it was labor, was relief. Whenever I feel intimidated by labor, I remind myself that labor leads to relief, and relief leads to intimacy - with yourself, with others - among many other things that feel a hell of a lot better than fear.
Not looking at, and worse, muting the truths and nuances of my own identity, limited my capacity to look at and celebrate the truths and nuances in others. I had an almost visceral reaction to folks who lived their truths and nuances. Once I started to make tender moves toward myself and my community, I got momentum. Plus, practicing tenderness toward others made it easier to practice it with myself, and vice versa. I think most of us find it more palatable to celebrate and be gentle with others over ourselves. Having both a gender and a sexuality are not the burdens they once felt like; that's something our heteronormative world does to isolate us from ourselves and ultimately from each other. My gender and my sexuality are what ground me in myself and in my relationships.
My relationships. This is where I always land. My relationships with folks of diverse genders and sexualities - relationships I once feared because of the mirrors they might (and indeed do) hold up - are what gave me the capacity to feel proud. When I was 25, I was convinced I had nothing in common with myself or my own people. Had I not learned to expand my narrative to actually include myself and my community in it, I can't say that I would've ever been content. Recently, I brought up my paraphrasing Kafka days to my partner, and she reminded me of the isolation I was mired in then. I had no sense of self to call mine, and no people to call my own.
Thankfully, when I was 27, I recognized the urgency of my isolation and made two moves to extract myself: first, I volunteered with SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT+ Elders) as a friendly visitor, and second, after reflecting on my own deeply-positive-but-flawed experience with a custom suit, I asked Daniel Friedman, the founder of Bindle & Keep, to apprentice me so I could learn to measure queer folks for custom suits.
In both these realms, my fear was quickly replaced by relief and relief was even more quickly replaced by intimacy. SAGE led me to Lee and Dick, a pair of gay men in their 80s who reminded me that we have always been here. They balanced their glorious stories of sunbathing nude on various New York City waterfronts long before their commercialization or development with devastating, necessary stories about surviving the AIDS crisis while losing an unfathomable number of their friends and lovers. Just by letting me into their home and letting me glimpse their beautiful decades-long friendship, Lee and Dick soothed something that had been lurking in me for a long time: my anxiety about what old age looks like for queer people. Shamefully, old age isn't something our culture likes to look at, but SAGE is the perfect gateway for those of us who are looking for ourselves in our elders. Whether they knew it or not, Lee and Dick showed me that not only do we have real, tangible histories, but that it's our birthright to have real, tangible futures.
Meanwhile, Bindle & Keep led me to hundreds of clients with all kinds of genders and sexualities; my queer tailoring universe is like the actual universe: it keeps expanding. When I first started out, I knew my clients and I were collaborating on designing garments, but I realized we were also collaborating on something much greater than clothes: designing a spectrum, and ultimately a culture, that was nuanced enough to not only include but affirm us. In 2013, when The New York Times published "The Masculine Mystique: Custom Suits to Make Transgender and Female Clients Feel Handsome," I felt proud of my clients for sharing their stories and themselves on a platform of that magnitude. But I also felt exposed: the article revealed that I had top surgery when it was not something I had mentioned in any public capacity or in my own social media, and there it was, in the paper of record. As I wrote, I think many of us find it more palatable to celebrate and be gentle with others over ourselves; similarly, I more readily felt pride on behalf of others before considering feeling it on behalf of myself.
What happened after that article was published, and after I was outed, transformed my relationship with pride. I got something like 100 emails from all kinds of LBGTQ+ folks thanking me for my work, and telling me they were proud of me. They were proud of me. That was when I really crossed over. One of those emails was from Chase Strangio, the ACLU lawyer who has advocated for all of us and fought alongside Gavin Grimm and Chelsea Manning. We hadn't even met before, but we had intimacy as two subjects described in the New York Times article, and another layer of intimacy as transmasculine folks.
I know pride is a charged and complicated thing to navigate; after all, it began as a riot, and nearly half a century later, we still live in a world that stubbornly maintains cultures and systems of oppression. What we cultivate - community and families, self-knowledge and resilience, our own cultures and systems - in the face of that is what brought me out of isolation. More importantly, it's what will lead to our collective liberation, and who wouldn't feel pride about that?
Why I'm More Determined Than Ever to Celebrate LGBTQ Pride Month
Here at POPSUGAR, we strive to create a diverse and inclusive company culture. We celebrate our differences and aim to depict the full breadth of the human experience, both inside the walls of our offices and in the content on our sites. This June, in tandem with LGBTQ Pride Month, we have launched an essay project to give voice to a community that has historically been silenced and marginalized.
I pitched this project in hopes of starting a larger conversation about what "pride" means in 2017. I wanted to tell as many stories as possible, to explore any and all points of view from individuals of all identities, genders, sexualities, races, ages, and backgrounds. My passion project quickly became a company-wide effort.
There is a remarkable power in that space and in all the others that sweep across the nation every June. It's that power that flowed into a single brick and ignited the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969.On a personal level, my journey with LGBTQ Pride Month has been tumultuous. Until very recently, I felt jaded about the concept as a whole. My first Gay Pride Parade was in 2009 in West Hollywood. The experience was intoxicating, that much is undeniable. I felt as though a space had been carved into the earth for me. Walking past the first metal barriers felt like passing through a membrane. On the other side, I was invincible and uninhibited. There is a remarkable power in that space and in all the others that sweep across the nation every June. It's that power that flowed into a single brick and ignited the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969.
Over the years, however, Pride lost its luster for me. I let my negative perceptions take over. I felt bothered by cisgender and heterosexual individuals who used this sacred space as a big party, where they could wear everything rainbow and get all shades of wasted. I sensed a shift in the way I perceived the celebration. My own Pride weekends became less about making myself visible and more about who I would make out with, what parties I would go to, and who had inexplicably excluded me from their plans.
On June 12, 2016, a monster walked into Orlando's Pulse nightclub and killed 49 innocent people. The next day was the Pride Parade in Los Angeles.
I felt numb. An outpouring of sorrow and rage on Facebook told me how to feel before I could thaw out of my own stupor. I did know one thing, though. I would f*cking go to Pride. I would be unapologetically gay, and I would not be scared. I knew I had a certain privilege in attending Pride in LA; this is a liberal city, and the police presence had been stepped up in light of the attack. I knew I was risking much less than my brothers and sisters who were being out and proud in the more conservative parts of the country, but it was important to me to be seen that day.
That catastrophic terror marked a huge cultural shift within the LGBTQ community. We came together, millions of people across the nation, to mourn. And when we were done mourning, we decided to stand up, dust off, and march on. I find great optimism in the resilience of my brothers and sisters. I have great faith in all members of this community; for every hurdle we encounter on this long road, we find the energy to leap over.
We are determined to exist.This year, POPSUGAR takes action. We celebrate every member of the LGBTQ community, and I hope this project helps illuminate that. I'm truly excited to share the collection of stories, essays, thoughts, beliefs, and declarations we've collected. Notable LGBTQ-identifying celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner, Brad Goreski, and Daniel Franzese share their experiences in the Hollywood spotlight. Representative Park Cannon speaks about bringing HIV awareness to the state of Georgia. Transgender men and women like Rae Tutera and Rain Valdez talk about their own struggles with visibility and identity. Zackary Drucker provides an unbelievable account of an icon named Flawless Sabrina. We're spotlighting nearly 50 different stories that all represent the same journey: to live an authentic, unbridled life.
We live in a world where horrific things keep happening. Chechen gay men are being thrown off of buildings, and transgender women of color are being murdered on the streets. But I find power in the waking nightmares my brothers and sisters have already survived. The AIDS epidemic, the fight for equality, the countless deaths and beatings and riots and protests, all because we are determined to exist. The purpose of this project is to prove exactly that.
There will always be hurdles to leap over, but I have faith that we will always find the energy to jump. I want to tell our stories, to inspire hope in other members of the LGBTQ+ community. I want us to remember where we've been and what we've survived. I want us to look forward to brighter times ahead. The goal here is directly in line with what the goal has always been. In the face of adversity, we get louder.
Pride Is the Antidote to Shame
I'm very proud of the things I have been able to accomplish in my life - from winning the Games, to raising a tremendous family, to eventually getting to the point where I could live my life authentically. It was a long struggle, but I finally got here.
I had to stay very quiet until the Diane Sawyer interview aired. The paparazzi were absolutely all over me wherever I went. If I left my house, I would have four or five cars following me and taking pictures. Between the Sawyer interview and the Vanity Fair shoot, I couldn't be seen out anywhere. I had to put privacy fences around the perimeter of my house, so the paparazzi couldn't invade my privacy while I walked from the house to the pool. I was literally stuck inside for months until the Vanity Fair piece came out and the barriers came down.
After coming out and transitioning, my life became much simpler. At this point I was proud; I had struggled for so long, my entire life, and it's such a good feeling not to carry the burden of secrets anymore. I can just wake up in the morning, be myself, and live my life.
We will not accept being on the margins of society anymore.
Pride is extremely important right now for our community. For the past 40 years, the gay community has struggled to gain acceptance, and a big part of that has been the issue of marriage equality. Finally, after years of court battles, marriage equality has been proudly achieved. The trans community is 30 years behind in our struggle, even though we are more visible now than we were 10 years ago. Nonetheless, we are still struggling. Over the past two years, I have met the most inspiring people in my trans community who have overcome tremendous obstacles, many of them without any of the resources that I was lucky to have.
Of the entire LGTBQ community, the "T" is the least funded of the group. Two years ago I wondered, "How can I use my position to help raise money for the cause?" Last year, I had a great association with MAC Cosmetics for the sale of a lipstick called "Finally Free," and 100 percent of the proceeds from the sales went to organizations serving the trans community. We granted $1.3 million to trans groups around the world. This year, I decided to start the Caitlyn Jenner Foundation to use my platform to raise money for underfunded organizations that are doing wonderful work on a shoestring budget.
In the trans community, we need to stand up together and be proud of who we are. We will not accept being on the margins of society anymore. We reject the shame that many still try to inflict on us. The antidote to that shame is our pride.
10 Hearty Breakfast Burrito Recipes That Will Leave You Feeling Ready to Take On the Day
If you love burritos and breakfast, chances are you're obsessed with breakfast burritos, too. With an entirely customizable combination of all your favorite morning foods - from eggs and meats (if you're a carnivore, that is) to veggies and starches - wrapped in a delicious tortilla, they're guaranteed to excite your taste buds and give you a long-lasting burst of energy. Bonus: you can even make a batch ahead of time and freeze it, creating the perfect on-the-go meal. Ready to dive into all the possibilities? Keep scrolling for 10 delicious recipes.
The 11 Things Every 20-Something Should Have in Her Wardrobe
The secret behind any impeccably dressed woman is a well-stocked closet. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can start crafting the perfect wardrobe right now.
In your 20s, that means shopping the essentials and investing in great basics - because, let's face it, you accumulated enough trendy tees, minidresses, and cutoffs in your college years. Now's the time to shop for the kind of denim you might just get away with at the office and a silky button-down you can wear well beyond your 9-to-5. You don't have to spend a ton, but definitely spend where it counts, and keep an eye out for the pieces you'll wear from season to season, year after year. Just consider this your 20-something starter wardrobe, and start shopping all the key items right here.
Support For Gay Marriage Is at an All Time High - But Are LGBTQ Rights Safe Under Trump?
Image Source: Getty / Alex Wong
"No longer may this liberty be denied," Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote in the June 2015 Supreme Court decision that asserted a constitutional right to same-sex marriage. After decades of activism on both sides of the issue, proponents of marriage equality won this battle in the culture war, and emotional celebrations erupted across the country. Finally, love won and same-sex couples had equal dignity in the eyes of the law.
The Supreme Court decision lines up with the mood of the country. Public support for gay marriage is at an all-time high, according to a new Gallup poll. Today, 64 percent of US adults say it should be recognized legally. In just 20 years, there's been a dramatic shift. In 1996 the number was flipped, with 69 percent of US adults saying same-sex marriages should not be legally valid.
The official GOP platform called for a constitutional amendment overturning the 2015 Supreme Court ruling.
The victory for marriage equality has ended an entrenched form of discrimination in America. Yet the platform adopted at the 2016 Republican National Convention shows that many in power would turn back the clock if given the chance. The official platform called for a constitutional amendment overturning the 2015 Supreme Court ruling, said adoption agencies, doctors, nurses, and other healthcare professionals should be able to deny services to LGBTQ citizens, and supported "gay conversion therapy." The choice of Mike Pence as Vice President - who rose to national prominence with his extreme anti-LGBTQ positions in Indiana - should also leave you wondering: are gay rights safe under the Trump Administration? Not completely. With Pride Month on the horizon, now is as good time to remind LGBTQ Americans and their allies that we must stay vigilant.
Image Source: Getty / Ty Wright
Same-Sex Marriage Is the Law for Now
Here's some good news. While President Trump has the power to appoint conservative federal judges, that might not be enough undermine the right to same-sex marriage quite yet. "Public support is important," explains David Cruz, a law professor at the University of Southern California. "US history suggests that courts interpreting the constitution - including the Supreme Court - do not deviate too dramatically from public opinion for prolonged periods of time." In other words, if public support for gay marriage is a given, there's a high chance the courts won't get in the way.
Given this reality, Cruz believes the right of same-sex couples to get married is not in immediate danger. The Supreme Court would have to overrule its previous precedent, which rarely happens. But Cruz says it could if Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the marriage equality decision, was to retire and be replaced by a strongly anti-LGBTQ judge. For now Neil Gorsuch's appointment to the Supreme Court by itself won't change things, since he replaced Justice Antonin Scalia, who dissented from the marriage ruling in the first place.
A constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman could also undo the 2015 Supreme Court decision. While it was proposed in the GOP platform, Cruz doesn't see it happening any time soon, either. It's not easy to amend the constitution - it requires two-thirds of each house of Congress and approval from three-fourths of the states. Such an effort was unsuccessful during the George W. Bush era, which Cruz calls the height of the gay marriage scare. So it would be harder today. Rather, politicians are likely posturing when they discuss an amendment, rather than proposing realistic policy. Considering this, it's likely imminent threats to LGBTQ rights will come in less explicit forms.
Religious Liberty Laws Are the New Battle Ground
Gay marriage rights may be settled law, but the fight isn't over. Legal experts like Cruz believe sweeping religious-exemption laws are a greater threat than court decisions. Many state religious exemption laws permit people, churches, nonprofits, and sometimes corporations to receive exemptions from laws that "burden" their religious beliefs. These types of law make it legally acceptable to discriminate against LGBTQ people.
These types of law make it legally acceptable to discriminate against LGBTQ people.
"Scores of bills have been introduced in state legislatures, and there's also the proposed federal so-called First Amendment Defense Act," Cruz explains. The latter would prohibit the federal government from taking action against any business or person that discriminates against LGBTQ people (and anyone who has sexual relations outside of marriage for that matter) for religious reasons. These types of "religious liberty" laws could also trump existing state and local laws that forbid discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. "Many of these bills are likely unconstitutional," Cruz notes, "but if passed, we'd need to see judges continue to stand up for separation of religion and government and for equal protection for LGBTQ people." And that's where the real threat of Trump comes in. Trump has the power to appoint judges from the Supreme Court on down to the federal trial judges who would be hearing these religious exemption cases.
Professor Tia Gaynor, who researches public administration at Marist College, agrees that LGBTQ Americans could be negatively impacted by a more socially conservative agenda under Republican leadership, even if same-sex marriage remains the law. She points to Trump's recent Executive Order Promoting Free Speech and Religious Liberty as laying the groundwork for what may come. While the order was largely symbolic, it signals how lawmakers might roll back protections for LGBTQ Americans under the guise of religious freedom. "Some may take these religious freedom protections to mean that they can discriminate against individuals who identify as LGBTQ without any repercussions. Even if there are consequences for these organizations, they are not immediate, where the trauma associated with being discriminated against is."
Some federal laws, like the Affordable Care Act, do have built-in provisions forbidding discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Yet agency staff and judges appointed by Trump could interpret those protections as narrowly as possible. And Congress could eliminate those regulations with an Affordable Care Act repeal law. LGBTQ Americans have long faced hurdles to getting fair and adequate health care, so turning back the protections of Obamacare could do real harm.
What You Can Do
Voting is the first step, especially in those off-year local races.
"The evolution of public opinion around marriage equality is very important toward maintaining rights for couples wishing to marry," Gaynor stresses. She says holding elected officials accountable is the most important role the public can play. Voting is the first step, especially in those off-year, low-profile state and local races. It's in local jurisdictions where religious liberty laws or "bathroom bills" are being passed. Gaynor says progress "requires the public to be aware of how local, state, and federal representatives vote and where they stand on issues critical to the LGBTQ community." She suggests interacting with representatives on a regular basis and believes that simply contacting them on social media is an effective way to hold them publicly accountable.
In the age of Trump, it can be exhausting to keep up your outrage and activism on a wide range of issues. But now isn't the time to assume politicians finally "get it" on LGBTQ rights. Gaynor sums it up: "The way I see it, as long as the public is largely silent, yet privately supportive, with or without laws, the discrimination and marginalization of the LGBTQ community will persist - and perhaps in this Trump Era grow." We can't let that happen.
Look Back at Marilyn Monroe's Iconic Glamour in These 19 Gorgeous Photos
June 1 marks what would have been Marilyn Monroe's 91st birthday, and the Hollywood legend would have also been in pretty impressive company - Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Bennett, and Mel Brooks are all celebrating the milestone this year, as is Hugh Hefner, who coincidentally helped Marilyn shoot to stardom when he featured her as Playboy's first-ever Playmate of the Month back in December 1953. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, Marilyn was placed in foster care at 7 years old and shuffled from family to family until agreeing to marry at the age of 16 so that she wouldn't have to return to an orphanage. She went on to transform herself from a soldier's wife and factory worker into Marilyn Monroe, a model and movie star.
Though Marilyn's life was cut short at the age of 36, the impact she left is undeniable. Not only does she live on in her films, but her iconic beauty, glamour, and body confidence have also inspired some of today's biggest stars, while also inadvertently serving as a tragic reminder of Hollywood's hidden pitfalls. In honor of Marilyn's lasting legacy, scroll through for some of her most gorgeous, memorable photos.
10 Hearty Breakfast Burrito Recipes That Will Leave You Feeling Ready to Take On the Day
If you love burritos and breakfast, chances are you're obsessed with breakfast burritos, too. With an entirely customizable combination of all your favorite morning foods - from eggs and meats (if you're a carnivore, that is) to veggies and starches - wrapped in a delicious tortilla, they're guaranteed to excite your taste buds and give you a long-lasting burst of energy. Bonus: you can even make a batch ahead of time and freeze it, creating the perfect on-the-go meal. Ready to dive into all the possibilities? Keep scrolling for 10 delicious recipes.
The Best Pajama Sets For Your Summer Share House
Weekend getaways with best friends are a fun way to bond with pals, and while you can get hotel rooms, it's much more advantageous to share a house together. So for your next jaunt out of town, don't pack your old gym t-shirt and baggy sweats as sleepwear. Try one of these sweet pajama sets for the ultimate sleepover memories. Pick your favorite combo and even give one to your friends.
The Life and Times of My Drag Queen Grandmother, Flawless Sabrina
I met my grandmother, Flawless Sabrina, when I was 18. It was 2001, and I had just moved to New York City from Syracuse. I went to the West Side Piers for Wigstock, a drag festival they had back then. I couldn't afford the $20 to get in and see the performance, so I hung out near the entrance and took pictures of some of the queens who were coming in and out. As Flawless Sabrina left, I took a picture of her, and she said to me, "You're on the wrong side of the camera, kid."
I hung that picture on my wall. Later, I continued to see her around in the club scene. She was always the oldest person in the club. She's now 77 and has lived in the same apartment in New York for 50 years.
In the pre-Stonewall days, Flawless Sabrina was incarcerated 100 times. She committed about 100 felonies for the crime of cross-dressing while she toured her drag contests around America from 1959 to 1969. She and her friends took that act from town to city to town, all across America from Appalachia to the Pacific Northwest. They would organize local talent to perform. In a grassroots effort coordinated by phone tree, advance people would go to the next city or town to hang out in the coffee shops, find out who the gossip queens were, and who could spread the word that the drag contest was coming to town. It was an underground network.
Those are the people that I look to in times like this: our elders who survived intolerably hostile environments and times. Many of the people I revere and look up to have been able to see around the corner. It seems trans folks have a long history of being seers in their communities.
Throughout history, we have been persecuted. Globally, we are persecuted. Nationally, we're persecuted. The stakes are always changing. And the stakes I have, as an American-born white trans woman, are very different from the stakes of my trans sisters who are undocumented and from Central America. The stakes are different for all of us, so it's essential that we look out for the more vulnerable members of our community. Pride this year is more important than it has ever been in my lifetime.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience.Flawless Sabrina would tell me stories about the way the queens used to treat each other or trans women. Sex workers in Central Park were throwing acid in each other's faces, or super-gluing bits of razor blades under their fingernails, so they could claw each other. We're a group of people who have not always had a good sense of community or sisterhood, a people who've been devoured by internalized shame.
We can't afford to attack each other any longer. It's divisive and cruel to single people out because their politics are different from ours. We're all fighting for the same things, respect and equality.
We need to tap into the spirit of resilience that Flawless has shown. We need to nourish the sense of pride that catapulted the first brick at the Stonewall riots. We need to listen to our inner voices saying: "I'm worth more than this, and I'm willing to speak out and fight for it!"
As told to Ryan Roschke
How We Grieve
My breath catches. I scan the headline. Not again. I click the link and my computer screen flashes white momentarily. My face lights up briefly as the page transitions away, and in the space of a millisecond, I feel the tides of grief begin to surge up and lick at the walls of my heart. The new page loads and the headline glares out at me immediately: Gay Night Club Shooting. I feel far away and disoriented, my mind protecting itself in a haze of disbelief. Bad enough for another shooting to occur, but in a gay club, a safe haven for queer bodies and outcasts and others and beauty queens and punks and cool kids - now no longer a haven for queer bodies but a charnel house for them. My mind slowly returns to reality with the repeated metronome of a sound. It takes me moments to realize it is my own voice in a low monotone: "No . . . no . . . no . . . "
It is not usual and nothing will be normal again.The day passes in a haze. I almost hit a pair of joggers backing up my car and slam on the brakes. My hands grip the wheel; my knuckles strain against the thin skin of my fist, turning it into a skeletal claw, a sudden and unwelcome reminder of the mortality lurking the skin. How fragile the human body is, and how easy it is to break it and spill the secret contents, like the bodies now lining the rooms and hallways in Orlando. I picture a macabre still life of the interior lives of men and women, an embarrassing display of the utmost privacy made public - stop. I did not know these people. With the creak of stiff leather I peel my hands off the wheel.
I check my blind spots carefully and back up. Something clicks and gives a hitch somewhere in the internal mechanism of my car. It's as if even this machine is aware of the turbulence passing through the heartstrings of the world and struggles to function normally and as usual. It is not usual and nothing will be normal again.
Word begins circulating through social media by noon. Memorial service. Downtown. Six o'clock. We make our way there, drawn by an atavistic impulse to congregate, to hold one another, to make contact.
Yes, I am real. Yes, I feel you.
The lines of people flow in from every block, forming a mass of people in the park, sands of an hourglass being hopelessly poured in reverse, imploring time to go back, go back, just this once. It does not.
We stand under an old tree as part of the congregation. I hold my lover and feel him shiver in my arms. I feel a hand on my shoulder and it is my friend Gary, a consoling smile warm under his bushy beard. He enfolds me in his arms. All around us similar tableaus play out, lovers and friends and strangers reaching out and holding, caring, comforting. There there, it's time to cry. Grieve with me. The tears flow hot and unexpected: I did not know these people. I was not there. Why am I heartbroken. I do not understand.
By now, the extent of the horror is well known: 49 dead, 53 wounded. Words like "terrorist" and "hate crime" and "ISIS" are being thrown around. That is fine. Let the world take our tragedy and use it for its own purposes.
That is what the world has always done best with our culture. We are here for your entertainment. Let our tragedy make your lives better. But not now. Not in this moment, linked arm in arm with the men and women and intimates and strangers who are the nervous system of our community. Right now we grieve. The "massacre" that merely makes a scrolling tic in the news has torn a gaping wound in our collective hearts. But this is what WE do best: take care of each other. Feel each other's hearts and lives and souls, and cry when we hurt, and raise our voices when we succeed. There will be time for politics. This is a time for our family to grieve.
Putting in the Work: How I Discovered My Own Philosophy on Pride
I have to admit that, when I first started to glimpse the trans adult I was inevitably becoming, I was not optimistic. I was 25 and felt I had suffered through enough spells of self-reflection, alienation, and shame that came tethered to my sexuality. I realized I was on the threshold of doing the gender work I had avoided, and all I saw was the labor - a reality anyone with an identity has to navigate - and I couldn't see the joy of self-possession or all the beauty on the other side of that labor.
My wife and my therapist will recall how I paraphrased Franz Kafka - back in my paraphrasing Franz Kafka days - while avoiding meditating on my queer identity. Kafka's experience around his Jewish identity deserves its own essay, and needless to say, there's already a body of work about it. Rather than contextualize Kafka's logic, I'll just skip to his reflection: "What do I have in common with Jews? I hardly have anything in common with myself, and should stand very quietly in a corner, content that I can breathe." How the hell did I get from there to writing an essay about pride?
Seven very full years have passed and in that time, I've learned not to be afraid of having things in common with myself or with my community. In order to dismantle that fear, I started with the relationships that felt most private and nurturing: those with my partner and my therapist, and perhaps unsurprisingly, with writers. I had a queer partner, a trans therapist, and an abundance of books and essays as new intellectual reference points instead of Kafka. They revealed to me that I could, and actually should, do more with my one wild and precious life (in the words of Mary Oliver) than stand very quietly in a corner, simply content that I could breathe.
Dismantling that fear and seeking out a new definition of contentment, as much as it was labor, was relief. Whenever I feel intimidated by labor, I remind myself that labor leads to relief, and relief leads to intimacy - with yourself, with others - among many other things that feel a hell of a lot better than fear.
Not looking at, and worse, muting the truths and nuances of my own identity, limited my capacity to look at and celebrate the truths and nuances in others. I had an almost visceral reaction to folks who lived their truths and nuances. Once I started to make tender moves toward myself and my community, I got momentum. Plus, practicing tenderness toward others made it easier to practice it with myself, and vice versa. I think most of us find it more palatable to celebrate and be gentle with others over ourselves. Having both a gender and a sexuality are not the burdens they once felt like; that's something our heteronormative world does to isolate us from ourselves and ultimately from each other. My gender and my sexuality are what ground me in myself and in my relationships.
My relationships. This is where I always land. My relationships with folks of diverse genders and sexualities - relationships I once feared because of the mirrors they might (and indeed do) hold up - are what gave me the capacity to feel proud. When I was 25, I was convinced I had nothing in common with myself or my own people. Had I not learned to expand my narrative to actually include myself and my community in it, I can't say that I would've ever been content. Recently, I brought up my paraphrasing Kafka days to my partner, and she reminded me of the isolation I was mired in then. I had no sense of self to call mine, and no people to call my own.
Thankfully, when I was 27, I recognized the urgency of my isolation and made two moves to extract myself: first, I volunteered with SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT+ Elders) as a friendly visitor, and second, after reflecting on my own deeply-positive-but-flawed experience with a custom suit, I asked Daniel Friedman, the founder of Bindle & Keep, to apprentice me so I could learn to measure queer folks for custom suits.
In both these realms, my fear was quickly replaced by relief and relief was even more quickly replaced by intimacy. SAGE led me to Lee and Dick, a pair of gay men in their 80s who reminded me that we have always been here. They balanced their glorious stories of sunbathing nude on various New York City waterfronts long before their commercialization or development with devastating, necessary stories about surviving the AIDS crisis while losing an unfathomable number of their friends and lovers. Just by letting me into their home and letting me glimpse their beautiful decades-long friendship, Lee and Dick soothed something that had been lurking in me for a long time: my anxiety about what old age looks like for queer people. Shamefully, old age isn't something our culture likes to look at, but SAGE is the perfect gateway for those of us who are looking for ourselves in our elders. Whether they knew it or not, Lee and Dick showed me that not only do we have real, tangible histories, but that it's our birthright to have real, tangible futures.
Meanwhile, Bindle & Keep led me to hundreds of clients with all kinds of genders and sexualities; my queer tailoring universe is like the actual universe: it keeps expanding. When I first started out, I knew my clients and I were collaborating on designing garments, but I realized we were also collaborating on something much greater than clothes: designing a spectrum, and ultimately a culture, that was nuanced enough to not only include but affirm us. In 2013, when The New York Times published "The Masculine Mystique: Custom Suits to Make Transgender and Female Clients Feel Handsome," I felt proud of my clients for sharing their stories and themselves on a platform of that magnitude. But I also felt exposed: the article revealed that I had top surgery when it was not something I had mentioned in any public capacity or in my own social media, and there it was, in the paper of record. As I wrote, I think many of us find it more palatable to celebrate and be gentle with others over ourselves; similarly, I more readily felt pride on behalf of others before considering feeling it on behalf of myself.
What happened after that article was published, and after I was outed, transformed my relationship with pride. I got something like 100 emails from all kinds of LBGTQ+ folks thanking me for my work, and telling me they were proud of me. They were proud of me. That was when I really crossed over. One of those emails was from Chase Strangio, the ACLU lawyer who has advocated for all of us and fought alongside Gavin Grimm and Chelsea Manning. We hadn't even met before, but we had intimacy as two subjects described in the New York Times article, and another layer of intimacy as transmasculine folks.
I know pride is a charged and complicated thing to navigate; after all, it began as a riot, and nearly half a century later, we still live in a world that stubbornly maintains cultures and systems of oppression. What we cultivate - community and families, self-knowledge and resilience, our own cultures and systems - in the face of that is what brought me out of isolation. More importantly, it's what will lead to our collective liberation, and who wouldn't feel pride about that?
Why I'm More Determined Than Ever to Celebrate LGBTQ Pride Month
Here at POPSUGAR, we strive to create a diverse and inclusive company culture. We celebrate our differences and aim to depict the full breadth of the human experience, both inside the walls of our offices and in the content on our sites. This June, in tandem with LGBTQ Pride Month, we have launched an essay project to give voice to a community that has historically been silenced and marginalized.
I pitched this project in hopes of starting a larger conversation about what "pride" means in 2017. I wanted to tell as many stories as possible, to explore any and all points of view from individuals of all identities, genders, sexualities, races, ages, and backgrounds. My passion project quickly became a company-wide effort.
There is a remarkable power in that space and in all the others that sweep across the nation every June. It's that power that flowed into a single brick and ignited the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969.On a personal level, my journey with LGBTQ Pride Month has been tumultuous. Until very recently, I felt jaded about the concept as a whole. My first Gay Pride Parade was in 2009 in West Hollywood. The experience was intoxicating, that much is undeniable. I felt as though a space had been carved into the earth for me. Walking past the first metal barriers felt like passing through a membrane. On the other side, I was invincible and uninhibited. There is a remarkable power in that space and in all the others that sweep across the nation every June. It's that power that flowed into a single brick and ignited the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969.
Over the years, however, Pride lost its luster for me. I let my negative perceptions take over. I felt bothered by cisgender and heterosexual individuals who used this sacred space as a big party, where they could wear everything rainbow and get all shades of wasted. I sensed a shift in the way I perceived the celebration. My own Pride weekends became less about making myself visible and more about who I would make out with, what parties I would go to, and who had inexplicably excluded me from their plans.
On June 12, 2016, a monster walked into Orlando's Pulse nightclub and killed 49 innocent people. The next day was the Pride Parade in Los Angeles.
I felt numb. An outpouring of sorrow and rage on Facebook told me how to feel before I could thaw out of my own stupor. I did know one thing, though. I would f*cking go to Pride. I would be unapologetically gay, and I would not be scared. I knew I had a certain privilege in attending Pride in LA; this is a liberal city, and the police presence had been stepped up in light of the attack. I knew I was risking much less than my brothers and sisters who were being out and proud in the more conservative parts of the country, but it was important to me to be seen that day.
That catastrophic terror marked a huge cultural shift within the LGBTQ community. We came together, millions of people across the nation, to mourn. And when we were done mourning, we decided to stand up, dust off, and march on. I find great optimism in the resilience of my brothers and sisters. I have great faith in all members of this community; for every hurdle we encounter on this long road, we find the energy to leap over.
We are determined to exist.This year, POPSUGAR takes action. We celebrate every member of the LGBTQ community, and I hope this project helps illuminate that. I'm truly excited to share the collection of stories, essays, thoughts, beliefs, and declarations we've collected. Notable LGBTQ-identifying celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner, Brad Goreski, and Daniel Franzese share their experiences in the Hollywood spotlight. Representative Park Cannon speaks about bringing HIV awareness to the state of Georgia. Transgender men and women like Rae Tutera and Rain Valdez talk about their own struggles with visibility and identity. Zackary Drucker provides an unbelievable account of an icon named Flawless Sabrina. We're spotlighting nearly 50 different stories that all represent the same journey: to live an authentic, unbridled life.
We live in a world where horrific things keep happening. Chechen gay men are being thrown off of buildings, and transgender women of color are being murdered on the streets. But I find power in the waking nightmares my brothers and sisters have already survived. The AIDS epidemic, the fight for equality, the countless deaths and beatings and riots and protests, all because we are determined to exist. The purpose of this project is to prove exactly that.
There will always be hurdles to leap over, but I have faith that we will always find the energy to jump. I want to tell our stories, to inspire hope in other members of the LGBTQ+ community. I want us to remember where we've been and what we've survived. I want us to look forward to brighter times ahead. The goal here is directly in line with what the goal has always been. In the face of adversity, we get louder.
Pride Is the Antidote to Shame
I'm very proud of the things I have been able to accomplish in my life - from winning the Games, to raising a tremendous family, to eventually getting to the point where I could live my life authentically. It was a long struggle, but I finally got here.
I had to stay very quiet until the Diane Sawyer interview aired. The paparazzi were absolutely all over me wherever I went. If I left my house, I would have four or five cars following me and taking pictures. Between the Sawyer interview and the Vanity Fair shoot, I couldn't be seen out anywhere. I had to put privacy fences around the perimeter of my house, so the paparazzi couldn't invade my privacy while I walked from the house to the pool. I was literally stuck inside for months until the Vanity Fair piece came out and the barriers came down.
After coming out and transitioning, my life became much simpler. At this point I was proud; I had struggled for so long, my entire life, and it's such a good feeling not to carry the burden of secrets anymore. I can just wake up in the morning, be myself, and live my life.
We will not accept being on the margins of society anymore.
Pride is extremely important right now for our community. For the past 40 years, the gay community has struggled to gain acceptance, and a big part of that has been the issue of marriage equality. Finally, after years of court battles, marriage equality has been proudly achieved. The trans community is 30 years behind in our struggle, even though we are more visible now than we were 10 years ago. Nonetheless, we are still struggling. Over the past two years, I have met the most inspiring people in my trans community who have overcome tremendous obstacles, many of them without any of the resources that I was lucky to have.
Of the entire LGTBQ community, the "T" is the least funded of the group. Two years ago I wondered, "How can I use my position to help raise money for the cause?" Last year, I had a great association with MAC Cosmetics for the sale of a lipstick called "Finally Free," and 100 percent of the proceeds from the sales went to organizations serving the trans community. We granted $1.3 million to trans groups around the world. This year, I decided to start the Caitlyn Jenner Foundation to use my platform to raise money for underfunded organizations that are doing wonderful work on a shoestring budget.
In the trans community, we need to stand up together and be proud of who we are. We will not accept being on the margins of society anymore. We reject the shame that many still try to inflict on us. The antidote to that shame is our pride.
The 11 Things Every 20-Something Should Have in Her Wardrobe
The secret behind any impeccably dressed woman is a well-stocked closet. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can start crafting the perfect wardrobe right now.
In your 20s, that means shopping the essentials and investing in great basics - because, let's face it, you accumulated enough trendy tees, minidresses, and cutoffs in your college years. Now's the time to shop for the kind of denim you might just get away with at the office and a silky button-down you can wear well beyond your 9-to-5. You don't have to spend a ton, but definitely spend where it counts, and keep an eye out for the pieces you'll wear from season to season, year after year. Just consider this your 20-something starter wardrobe, and start shopping all the key items right here.
Look Back at Marilyn Monroe's Iconic Glamour in These 19 Gorgeous Photos
June 1 marks what would have been Marilyn Monroe's 91st birthday, and the Hollywood legend would have also been in pretty impressive company - Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Bennett, and Mel Brooks are all celebrating the milestone this year, as is Hugh Hefner, who coincidentally helped Marilyn shoot to stardom when he featured her as Playboy's first-ever Playmate of the Month back in December 1953. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, Marilyn was placed in foster care at 7 years old and shuffled from family to family until agreeing to marry at the age of 16 so that she wouldn't have to return to an orphanage. She went on to transform herself from a soldier's wife and factory worker into Marilyn Monroe, a model and movie star.
Though Marilyn's life was cut short at the age of 36, the impact she left is undeniable. Not only does she live on in her films, but her iconic beauty, glamour, and body confidence have also inspired some of today's biggest stars, while also inadvertently serving as a tragic reminder of Hollywood's hidden pitfalls. In honor of Marilyn's lasting legacy, scroll through for some of her most gorgeous, memorable photos.
14 Scandals That Will Change the Way You Think About the Royals
Think the British royal family is boring? You need to brush up on the backstory. While Prince William and Kate Middleton have provided the world with a slew of frame-worthy moments and Prince Harry continues to charm with his admirable charity work, the Windsor family tree actually includes a scandalous cast of characters. From a king who gave up power for a married American to a prince who dreamed of becoming a tampon one day (no, seriously), they've got it all.
Excited for Wonder Woman? Brush Up on Her Story From the Comics
The long-awaited film adaptation of DC's Wonder Woman hits theaters on June 2. As the character has been around since the 1940s, the original source material is predictably chock-full of various characters, storylines, and all kinds of other information that can seem intimidating to get through. Don't quite know where to begin? If you want to brush up on your Wonder Woman knowledge before catching the movie this Summer, here are some highlights from the comics.
Origin Story
Wonder Woman's classic origin story is heavily rooted in Greek mythology. She is the daughter of Hippolyta, Queen of an Amazon-occupied island called Themyscria (or, earlier on, Paradise Island). Hippolyta, who wishes for a child, forms her out of clay from the shores. The gods of Olympus then bring the clay to life as Diana and bless her with gifts, such as beauty, strength, wisdom, speed, and flight. Her superhuman abilities assist her in her role as an emissary in Man's World. In the New 52 reboot (DC's 2011 relaunch) and the DC Extended Universe, Diana is not created from clay. Instead, she is the daughter of Hippolyta and Zeus, making her a demigod.
Notable Nemeses
Wonder Woman goes head-to-head with several enemies in the comics. Among the most notorious is Circe, a powerful witch and sorceress who's based on her namesake in Greek mythology. Notably, she sets up the War of the Gods, an epic war between numerous pantheons. Another one of Wonder Woman's well-known adversaries is Cheetah. Several people have donned this title, but the most prominent is possibly Barbara Ann Minerva, an archaeologist who gains an interest in besting Wonder Woman in battle after a failed attempt to take the hero's Lasso of Truth. Wonder Woman has also fought Ares (yes, the God of War), a misogynistic occultist called Doctor Psycho, and the size-manipulating Giganta.
Love Interests
Though Wonder Woman has quite a few love interests over the years, her most notable one is Steve Trevor. He originally debuts as the first man she ever meets, after his plane crashes on her island during World War II. She nurses him back to health, falls in love with him, and easily wins a competition to escort him back to Man's World (aka Earth) and assist in the country's battles. Other iterations of Steve remove his romantic relationship with Wonder Woman, but fans are still very familiar with it. In fact, Chris Pine is playing him in the film. Other than that, Wonder Woman also has trysts with characters including Nemesis, Aquaman, and Superman.
Team Affiliations
Wonder Woman starts off as a member of the Justice Society of America - though she mostly appears as the team's secretary and doesn't get in on the action much until later on. She's more famously a part of the Justice League of America, a superhero team consisting of several heroes like Batman, Superman, Aquaman, and the Flash. The JLA has undergone tons of changes to its origin story, but Wonder Woman is almost always a founding member.
16 Products That Will Have You Screaming "Take My Money" This June
Some products just have "take my money" written all over them from the first look you get. Luckily for you (or unfortunately, depending on your outlook), this entire list is full of products for Mom and baby that fit firmly into that category. From Summer essentials to nursery decor and baby skin care, everything on this list was selected by one of our editors as an A+ pick. So kick up your feet in an air-conditioned room, turn on an episode of your child's favorite show, and get online shopping.
16 Products That Will Have You Screaming "Take My Money" This June
Some products just have "take my money" written all over them from the first look you get. Luckily for you (or unfortunately, depending on your outlook), this entire list is full of products for Mom and baby that fit firmly into that category. From Summer essentials to nursery decor and baby skin care, everything on this list was selected by one of our editors as an A+ pick. So kick up your feet in an air-conditioned room, turn on an episode of your child's favorite show, and get online shopping.
Why Rejecting the Paris Climate Agreement Is Such a Catastrophic Mistake
President Donald Trump's opposition to the Paris Climate Agreement was apparent from the moment he launched his campaign. Despite high-ranking officials in his administration (namely former Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson, who is now secretary of state) encouraging him to maintain America's commitment to the treaty, Trump has reportedly decided to pull out.
According to Axios and CNN, both citing anonymous sources within the White House, Trump is expected to withdraw from the historic climate agreement. When the United Nations-sponsored treaty was signed in 2015, it involved 147 countries and years of preparation. Prompted by evidence demonstrating human impact on climate change, the Paris Agreement set a goal of limiting the global temperature increase to two degrees Celsius over the next century - or no more than two degrees Celsius higher than the pre-industrial age average temperature. This would require a concerted effort to diminish reliance on fossil fuels and reduce carbon emissions drastically.
Based on climate models, if the global temperature rises by an average of more than two degrees, the damage done to the environment is likely irreversible. However, some critics contend that two degrees is already too high and the goal was more or less arbitrarily assigned to promote global participation.
The United States, Europe, India, and China are the world's leading carbon emitters. By pulling out of the agreement, Trump is not only gambling with America's future landscape but also the entire world's. Following reports of Trump's decision to reject the Paris Climate Agreement, the European Union and China are expected to reaffirm their commitment to curbing emissions under the terms of the agreement. Though it won't offset America's unbridled emissions completely, Germany, China, and India will surpass the objectives they set in 2015, according to a United Nations report released in May. India will obtain 40 percent of its energy from solar power - nearly eight years ahead of its 2020 goal - and China has reduced its reliance on coal-powered energy as well.
The report also offered a slightly reassuring theory: "The positive developments in India and China significantly outweigh the potentially negative effects on emissions from the Trump Administration's proposed rollbacks in the US, estimated at around 0.4 [gigatons of] CO2 by 2030."
The United States will join Syria and Nicaragua as the only other countries in the world who will not participate.
13 Random TV Shows You Weren't Allowed to Watch as a Kid
One of the many advantages of being an "adult" is that you get to watch whatever you want on TV. You may find this privilege to be especially liberating, if you (like me) also had parents who forbade you from watching certain TV shows. I still remember getting HBO, only to be told Sex and the City was off limits. I'm also just now finding that I didn't have the only set of parents who said Friends was just a bunch of people having sex, but Seinfeld was A-OK. (Where's the logic?) Take a look to see all the shows our editors weren't allowed to watch!
Angelina Jolie's Travel Outfit Looks Basic, but It's Brilliant
When Angelina Jolie headed to LAX to catch a flight, she was wearing a simple black dress and a pair of kitten heels. But zoom in a little closer, and you'll see her design has a wrap effect. Though Angelina's rocking her number with a tee underneath, she can style it later all by itself. Plus, there's no denying her aviators and leather tote will come in handy wherever she's going.
Angelina isn't the only power woman who keeps these essentials on hand. Michelle Obama worked her own wrap dress and pumps on the plane, proving a look like this one's quite versatile. The key? Layer repeat-worthy pieces while you're traveling and keep your suitcase light. Read on to get inspired by Angelina's outfit, complete with classic diamond jewels, then shop for a similar midi before your next getaway.
Excited for Wonder Woman? Brush Up on Her Story From the Comics
The long-awaited film adaptation of DC's Wonder Woman hits theaters on June 2. As the character has been around since the 1940s, the original source material is predictably chock-full of various characters, storylines, and all kinds of other information that can seem intimidating to get through. Don't quite know where to begin? If you want to brush up on your Wonder Woman knowledge before catching the movie this Summer, here are some highlights from the comics.
Origin Story
Wonder Woman's classic origin story is heavily rooted in Greek mythology. She is the daughter of Hippolyta, Queen of an Amazon-occupied island called Themyscria (or, earlier on, Paradise Island). Hippolyta, who wishes for a child, forms her out of clay from the shores. The gods of Olympus then bring the clay to life as Diana and bless her with gifts, such as beauty, strength, wisdom, speed, and flight. Her superhuman abilities assist her in her role as an emissary in Man's World. In the New 52 reboot (DC's 2011 relaunch) and the DC Extended Universe, Diana is not created from clay. Instead, she is the daughter of Hippolyta and Zeus, making her a demigod.
Notable Nemeses
Wonder Woman goes head-to-head with several enemies in the comics. Among the most notorious is Circe, a powerful witch and sorceress who's based on her namesake in Greek mythology. Notably, she sets up the War of the Gods, an epic war between numerous pantheons. Another one of Wonder Woman's well-known adversaries is Cheetah. Several people have donned this title, but the most prominent is possibly Barbara Ann Minerva, an archaeologist who gains an interest in besting Wonder Woman in battle after a failed attempt to take the hero's Lasso of Truth. Wonder Woman has also fought Ares (yes, the God of War), a misogynistic occultist called Doctor Psycho, and the size-manipulating Giganta.
Love Interests
Though Wonder Woman has quite a few love interests over the years, her most notable one is Steve Trevor. He originally debuts as the first man she ever meets, after his plane crashes on her island during World War II. She nurses him back to health, falls in love with him, and easily wins a competition to escort him back to Man's World (aka Earth) and assist in the country's battles. Other iterations of Steve remove his romantic relationship with Wonder Woman, but fans are still very familiar with it. In fact, Chris Pine is playing him in the film. Other than that, Wonder Woman also has trysts with characters including Nemesis, Aquaman, and Superman.
Team Affiliations
Wonder Woman starts off as a member of the Justice Society of America - though she mostly appears as the team's secretary and doesn't get in on the action much until later on. She's more famously a part of the Justice League of America, a superhero team consisting of several heroes like Batman, Superman, Aquaman, and the Flash. The JLA has undergone tons of changes to its origin story, but Wonder Woman is almost always a founding member.
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