lundi 6 février 2017
25 Reasons Why Moms Absolutely Need Wine!
My name is Kate (though I'm called "mom" way more often), and I drink wine . . . a lot . . . like most nights of the week a lot. I'll admit to always loving a good glass of Sauvignon Blanc, but it wasn't until I became a mom that I started buying the stuff in bulk and thinking of my nightly glass not as a luxury after a hard day's work (did I even know what a hard day was?! Doubtful), but as a complete and utter necessity. You feel me, moms?
If so, then you know that a day spent with small children will give you about a million and one reasons to want a large glass of vino. Here are 25 that might sound familiar.
- Your oldest had multiple nightmares and your youngest wet the bed, cutting your longest sleep cycle to about two hours.
- At breakfast, you refereed a 10-minute fight over which kid got the yellow cereal bowl. Big loser: you.
- It's PE day and child has decided gym shoes make her pinky toes feel weird two minutes before bus's arrival.
- The babysitter canceled . . . again.
- Because you literally haven't spoken to an adult all day long.
- And haven't had a kid-free night away in a year.
- Your kids have stolen every other delicious thing you've tried to consume all day.
- You were forced to watch 2004 bomb Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed on Netflix . . . twice.
- Daughter asked how old you were. "35," you responded. "Oh, I thought you were 100," was daughter's reply.
- Soon after, toddler jumped on your stomach, laughed, then told you, "Mommy, you got a big, squishy belly."
- In short, your children are both adding to and enjoying your physical demise.
- Ever watched a toddler try to open a Capri Sun?
- Two kids, one giant cart, one hellish trip to Target.
- Because the minute you pulled away from Target you realized you forgot the one thing you really needed.
- Because it's too late to drink coffee.
- Because it was 5 p.m. before you realized you didn't shower today.
- Son asked for chicken for dinner. You made chicken. No, he wants meatballs. You made meatballs. Wait, he really wanted a hot dog.
- What goes better with leftover chicken nuggets and half-eaten meatballs?
- Dad isn't getting home until two hours after bedtime.
- The only time you've had alone all day involved two minutes locked in the bathroom, with a toddler outside pounding on the door.
- Child has decided he will only bathe standing up, while constantly screaming.
- Because two bedtime books turned into 20 and a YouTube video about puppies.
- Toddler proceeded to cry about not having his own puppy and would only be calmed by juice, a cookie, and more books.
- Because you need to be reminded that you are actually an adult woman and not a baby servant.
- Because you have to do it all over again tomorrow.
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