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18 WTF Thoughts Every Work-From-Home Mom Can Relate To

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When I was pregnant with my now almost 6-year-old daughter, I got my first work-from-home job. The timing was perfect. Instead of investing in a work-appropriate maternity wardrobe, I bought a bunch of oversize t-shirts and discovered that Lululemon leggings are surprisingly stretchy. I maintained a pretty standard 9-to-5 schedule, but I used my former commute time for sleeping in and sometimes spent my lunch break catnapping. I worried that occasionally using my pregnant belly as a laptop stand because I was working from bed (I was tired a lot when I was pregnant, OK?) would cause permanent damage to my baby, but other than that, it was heavenly. I decided I would never go back to an office again.

Six years and two kids later, I still work from home, but is it the same utopian situation that I first thought? Like many other things in my life (my waistline, my wrinkle-free forehead, my relative sanity), my kids pretty much destroyed that perfect little world. My home/office is their home as well, which means it's now pretty much the worst place on the planet for me to be productive - hence why I'm writing this from Starbucks, where most of the baristas have memorized my name and drink order. If you're also a work-from-home mom, here are some thoughts that probably go through your head regularly.

  1. Monday morning: I'm so lucky that I don't have to go into an office and have such a flexible schedule.
  2. Monday night: Remember how much easier it was to work from an office? No screaming kids or constant interruptions and solo bathroom breaks? God, I miss those days.
  3. Please, please let my child take a long nap today; otherwise, I'll never make my deadline.
  4. He's not going to nap. Guess I'll work after the kids go to sleep.
  5. Damn it! Fell asleep putting kids to bed again. Tomorrow I am going to have to knock sh*t out.
  6. Please, please let my sitter get here on time and agree to stay late.
  7. What!? Sitter is canceling? Guess it's an iPad and Netflix kind of day.
  8. How many times a day can I tell my kids to leave me alone before they are damaged for life?
  9. No, seriously - kids, leave me alone.
  10. If one more person tells me I'm so lucky to work from home or that I have the best of both worlds, I'm going to scream!
  11. How much of this conference call can I put on mute before they notice?
  12. Please, please don't let my kids start screaming while my conference call is not on mute.
  13. How many hours can I work at Starbucks before they start charging me a table rental space?
  14. Love Starbucks free WiFi and easy access to caffeine. Hate smelling like I bathed in coffee the rest of the day.
  15. Maybe if I set up an office space farther from the kids, they'll respect my work time more.
  16. Nope. Maybe if I put a lock on the door.
  17. Still nope.
  18. Working from home sucks. Except I get to wear sweatpants. And make my own hours. And I have no commute. OK, maybe I am just a little lucky.


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