mercredi 22 mars 2017
People Are Now Applying Makeup With Hard-Boiled Eggs and I No Longer Have Hope For Humanity
When my life - or the world around me - is spiraling out of control, I have always turned to makeup as a method of free therapy. Whether it's ogling it and buying it or spending an exorbitant amount of time applying it, I find playing with the wide ranges of formulas, shades, and textures soothing. So when I woke up this morning to find that people are now using hard-boiled eggs to dab on their foundation, I had only one reaction: what the f*ck?!
Seriously, why is this happening? Like many of you, I was next-level obsessed when I figured out how to properly use my Beautyblender, and felt that my makeup routine was transformed forever. I also understood when some devotees of the tool defected and tried other application techniques. After all, one of the best parts about beauty is that there are always innovations and improvements to try out!
But then people started taking the hacks too far. Don't get me wrong, I saw definite logic to the videos using push-up bra inserts as blending tools, as they were almost identical to those popular silicone sponges. But testing tampons as makeup sponges? Both counterintuitive (cotton is absorbent, so you're wasting foundation!) and uneconomical (tampons aren't cheap, OK?). And now, the beauty community has moved onto eggs.
PopLuxe founder Nadi just started a new series where fans ask him to use "random-ass" items to apply his makeup, and first up in this challenge was hard-boiled eggs. No, it's not hurting anyone. Yes, this is America, land of the free to do whatever you want with your hard-boiled eggs. But is this protein-laden sponge alternative truly going to replace a Beautyblender in your makeup bag?
As Nadi demonstrated above, the egg falls apart while you're using it, leaving crumbles all over your skin while you work. (Good for a tossed salad, bad for a beat face.) That means you need to use several eggs in just one application session. The frustrating shelling process alone would put me off. Nadi pointed out that they are refreshingly cold, but also slimy sometimes, and make expensive makeup smell like sulfur.
Also, is the average person really going to eat a foundation-stained hard-boiled egg? I get that egg prices are at an all-time low, but last time I checked, foundation isn't a tasty condiment. And if you don't plan on consuming your egg-sponge, that's just wasteful. (Not to be all, "people are starving around the world," but, you know, people are starving around the world.)
Overall, I applaud Nadi for being brave enough to try this out (and R.I.P. to his Yves Saint Laurent Touche Eclat), but I beg of you, don't play with your food. Play with your makeup as the beauty gods intended. But if you feel hollow inside because you just need to apply your foundation with your food before you die, may I propose using a ripe plum tomato? It's perfectly smooth, egg-shaped, lightly squishy, and can even be refrigerated so you can get that cooling experience. But furthermore, you can peel that sh*t and make some pasta or pizza with it once you're done getting glam.
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