samedi 18 mars 2017

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These 21 Epic Dad Jokes Are Actually the Best

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Image Source: ABC

No matter how old you get, your dad is bound to have a joke. And let's face it, as much as you roll your eyes, deep down you know they're pretty darn good. From always having the best response to impossible questions ("How many apples grow on a tree?" "All of them.") to effortlessly being able to turn anything dirty in the worst possible way, dads have a unique talent when it comes to the jokes department. When you need a laugh, Reddit users shared their best dad jokes. Here's hoping it runs in the family!

  1. "Reversing the car 'Ahh, this takes me back.'" - ScampAndFries
  2. "Every time I stubbed my toe as a kid, my dad would ask if he should call a toe truck. Every. F*cking. Time." - Isthisinfectious



Image Source: Imgur user Tatebeatz

  1. "My dad does this every time we go out to eat.
    Waitress: Sees that dad hasn't eaten all his food 'Do you want a box for that?'
    Dad: 'No, but I'll wrestle ya for it!'" - mikeinabox
  2. "Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, 'The good news is..it'll feel better when it quits hurting.'" - Kiitchh
  3. "Waitress: 'And here's the check. Is there anything else I can get you?'
    Dad: 'Someone to pay the check?'" - Nadiime

Image Source: ABC

  1. "Dad: 'Did you know that all the people who live around here aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?'
    me: 'Really? why not?'
    dad: 'Because they're not dead yet.'" - Mr_Katanga
  2. "Me: 'Be careful standing near those trees.'
    My daughter: 'Why? The sky is clear, there's no chance of lightning.'
    Me: 'I don't know really, they just look kind of shady to me.'" - Big_0il
  3. "'I'll call you later.'
    'Don't call me later, call me Dad.'' - Nadiime


Image Source: Imgur user Tatebeatz

  1. "How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles." - ulyssessword
  2. "Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad, 'Are you going to put it up yourself?' Dad replied 'Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room.'" - UnrustledJimmie
  3. "After graduating from different schools my twin sisters broke the news that they'd be moving in together, to which my dad replied, 'I guess you're going back to being womb-mates.'" - illwillisilll

Image Source: NBC

  1. "What do you call a man with no nose and no body? Nobody nose." - Nadiime
  2. "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt." - ulyssessword
  3. "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs wiggling in a pile of leaves? Russel." - ulyssessword

Image Source: Sony Pictures

  1. "What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other? Eileen." - D-PadRadio
  2. "What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto." - zippyboy
  3. "Dad: 'What are you drinking, son?'
    Son: 'Soy Milk.'
    Dad: 'Hola Milk, soy padre.'" - 8Bitcarrot

Image Source: Esquire

  1. "Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans." - Kiitchh
  2. "I have a fear of speed bumps. Im slowly getting over it." - fordr015
  3. "Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere." - Kiitchh
  4. "'Waitress: careful, that plate is hot!'
    Dad: 'It's ok, so am I.'"- Nadiime

Image Source: Universal Pictures



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