vendredi 24 mars 2017
Why My Husband Isn't Worried That Our Sons Will Be Gentlemen
I was getting my bimonthly highlight and haircut, relishing the two hours of near silence and enjoying plenty of guilt-free Instagram scrolling, when a teenage boy and his mom walked into the salon. I have two sons under 4, so this piqued my interest. I studied their interactions and looked for clues about what my future relationships with my boys might look like.
I noticed how he wasn't quite sure about the initial trim so he asked his mom to come over and give her opinion. I saw how he politely chatted with a woman sitting under the dryer as she, sensing his nervousness at the shorter look, assured him that her own son had recently cut inches off his hair and really liked it. And I watched as he opened the door for his mom and then held it open as he waited for an older woman to walk in before exiting himself.
That's what I hope my boys grow up to be like, I thought.
I went home and told my husband about what I'd witnessed and asked aloud how we ensure our sons become sweet, kind, gentlemen who open doors and are polite to strangers. He didn't give it a second thought - he was sure they were going to turn out that way. He quickly responded, "I'm not worried about it."
Classic dad (or just classic my husband) to not worry about the things that keep mom up at night. But I wanted to know why he was so confident, why it wasn't even something he thought about. He told me he's so sure because he is like that. Because their grandparents are like that. Because I'm like that. And they'll see the most influential people in their lives doing those things and know that it's the right way to act.
I still plan on explaining to them what it means to be a gentleman and reminding them to use their manners, but my husband was right: children learn by example. Nothing will have a bigger impact on them than what they learn from watching you: how you treat the cashier at the grocery store, how you react when you get cut off in the parking lot, how you respond when someone helps you out, whether or not you hold the door open . . .
This impacts far more than their status as gentlemen.
It's a good reminder that I should worry less about what I'm telling my boys and how I'm "parenting" them and focus more on my own actions if I want to ensure that they'll become well-behaved, respectful, kind humans in the long run. Turns out I'm already doing a pretty good job.
Articles
0 comments:
Enregistrer un commentaire