mercredi 2 août 2017
This Woman's Powerful Post Proves No One Is Above "Mom Friends"
For some reason, there's this stigma about having "mom friends" – like it's a consolation prize for not being able to maintain real, adult relationships once you have kids. I felt as such when I was pregnant – that I wouldn't need this particular category of women in my life. Was I ever wrong.
So was Gylisa Jayne, a U.K. mom who recently posted on Facebook about why she never wanted "mummy" friends.
"I didn't want to sit in noisy soft plays, or talk about different coloured shit," she wrote. "I didn't want to have knowledge about best nappy brands, or know exactly how many fanny stitches we all had."
She didn't like the idea of cliques and felt that she had all the support she needed in her partner – the man she'd "chosen for this journey" would "be there for everything," she thought.
But then, she had a baby.
She quickly discovered the network she thought she had wasn't there, even her husband.
"Then there was my partner . . . the man that knew what I needed before I did," she wrote. "Only he didn't understand me anymore. He was trying to figure out his Dad Role. He didn't understand why I was crying about putting the kettle in the fridge. He didn't know why I'd forgotten to take the parcels to the post office. He didn't know why I had no love left over for him."
Turns out, the ones who would understand her were the women she'd shunned. So, she did what any sensible new parent should do and went out with her baby and made some mom friends, the ones who "had been there, done that" and were "fumbling through for the first time" just like she was.
"I made them laugh, and they made me howl with our observations of this bizarrely fabulous and horrendous journey," she said. "I had love left over for my partner again then. Because he might not get it – but there were scores of women that did."
To Gylisa, her mom friends aren't a fleeting relationship, they're a necessity. "I didn't want 'mummy friends,' she said. Turns out, "I needed them."
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