Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is one which helps to keep and improve people's health and well-being.Many governments and non-governmental organizations have made big efforts in healthy lifestyle and health promotion.
Mental Health
Mental health can be considered a very important factor of physical health for the effects it produces on bodily functions. This type of health concerns emotional and cognitive well-being or an absence of mental disorder.
Public health
Public health can be defined in a variety of ways. It can be presented as "the study of the physical, psychosocial and socio-cultural determinants of population health and actions to improve the health of the population.
Reproductive Health
For the UN, reproductive health is a right, like other human rights. This recent concept evokes the good transmission of the genetic heritage from one generation to the next.
Health
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
jeudi 1 juin 2017
What Living in a World With Terrorism Is Like When Your Child Has Autism
One mom honestly divulges her fears and anxieties about raising a boy with autism in 2017, from our friends at YourTango.
Why does this keep happening?
As someone who consumes news stories like some people pop Life Savers candies into their mouth, my first instinct was to question the authenticity of the tweets I read about two explosions following the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England.
"Bodies everywhere!" One tweeted.
"Guys. It's a false alarm. A balloon popped right next to a speaker and everyone freaked out." Another tweeted.
The latter tweet seemed easier to swallow.
A concert hall filled with young children and teenagers being hit by an explosion?
No.
I was not prepared to mentally handle that.
And then the Greater Manchester Police tweeted that they were, in fact, responding to a serious incident at the Manchester Arena.
Another tweet popped up, one of a picture with bloody bodies lying on the ground in the front near the box-office.
No.
I was ready to wave my FAKE NEWS flag for the first time ever.
This couldn't be happening.
It was just about 6:00 p.m. (11:00 p.m. Manchester time) when all this was unfolding and new details were starting to be released.
Missing loved ones.
Cries for help.
Children separated from their parents.
Full stop.
Children separated from their parents.
All terror attacks are senseless and I can't fully understand the psychology behind it, however ones that involve children?
As a writer it pains me to say that I can't actually put into words how it makes me feel.
I'm almost reminded of when my father died as I sat there watching his life slip away with every second; nauseated, dizzy, falling into a state of darkness and despair.
But since 9/11, I've become a news junkie ... no, that's the wrong term.
My obsessive compulsive disorder mixed with a large helping of severe anxiety disorder has me up all hours of the night, reading and watching the news for every little tid bit of additional information I can get.
I fell asleep with my headphones on, listening to CNN recount the same news over and over, replaying the video of screaming children.
I moved to the couch, where I put CNN on the TV in the background as I moved in and out of a sleepy state.
The need was ferocious; the need to know that these missing people were found and reunited with their loved ones.
When I woke up in the morning, I felt sickened.
22 people were killed, hundreds more injured.
I had an IEP meeting (Individual Education Program) for my autistic son soon after his bus came to pick him up.
I was greeted with happy teachers and therapists who told me that my son was a "ray of sunshine" and that he has improved so much.
But he's still unable to say "Mom, or "Dad."
He is still unable to form a sentence explaining his needs.
While I listened and took notes from the meeting, in the back of my head, all I could think was, "What if?"
Summer is soon approaching here in the Northeast which means some family time is now in the planning stages.
I wanted to take our son to a theme park geared toward kids like Sesame Place or Hershey Park.
Never in a million years would I have thought that would be a target for a terrorist, but now?
Who knows anymore?
As the day went on, I felt sicker and sicker; all the lovely physical side effects of having severe anxiety.
What would happen if we took our son to what should be a happy place? And there was an attack? And we got lost?
He wouldn't be able to ask for his parents.
He wouldn't be able to describe us to other people so that they can help him find us.
My father always used to tell me a story from his childhood:
"When I was in elementary school, we used to have nuke drills. We'd all have to crawl under our desks and hide. All I could think was, 'What the hell is a desk going to do to save us from a nuke?'"
My dad was partly traumatized by those drills.
Do we now have to make my son carry around his neck a tag with contact information like a puppy?
Is this what the world has come to?
I don't show fear in front of my son because he's very sensitive to other's emotions.
But I'm terrified for the world.
I'm terrified for my son.
If we let fear set in, we let them win. That's what they say, right?
But what happens if the fear isn't for yourself, but for someone who can't actually feel fear?
I know that sounds confusing ... let me explain.
My son is 6-years-old. I don't let him watch the news and I don't speak about bombs going off in front of him.
I'm not sure his comprehension will ever get to the point where he fully understands the world, as it is now, around him.
I'm not sure I want him to.
My fear, the pit I have at the very bottom of my stomach that feels like a brick that won't move, is for him.
I wanted to bring my child into a world filled with love, light, and laughter.
He gets that at home and in school.
I'm scared for when it's his time to leave the world I built for him and venture out into the real one.
The one with suicide bombers, mass shooters, and people who believe killing others is the only way to their G-d.
I'm just ... scared.
Check out more great stories from YourTango:
Is Buying a VIP Ticket to a Music Festival Worth It?
General admission tickets to music festivals are crazy expensive to begin with, so what's the deal with VIP, and could it possibly be worth the outrageous cost? Almost all music festivals now have "VIP" and "Platinum" tickets that go for twice the amount of a standard ticket, an upwards of a $1,000 per person or more. I've been to my fair share of music festivals, but never had I experienced VIP until this weekend while covering the BottleRock Festival in Napa as press. I have to confess, I loved every single minute of it. VIP reinvigorated my love of and passion for music festivals. Yes, a VIP ticket is a total luxury that may not be feasible for many (including myself), but it has some surprising pros that may entice you to purchase.
VIP Views
The number one reason to buy a VIP ticket is to have access to a better view of the stage. The most confusing thing I discovered while at BottleRock is there are many tiers to VIP. There's standard VIP ($709), then VIP Plus ($1,200), and finally VIP Platinum ($3,500). All VIP people had access to the front of the main stage. We're talking several feet with plenty of breathing room, so there's no cramming or fighting for a spot. Then, there's VIP Plus, which has access to the Skydeck, an elevated tent to the side of the stage that offers an incredible, unobstructed view of the stage (away from the crowd), comfortable seating, shade, and free, unlimited drinks (which cost about $15 a pop for festival-goers).
Then, there's VIP Platinum, which offers backstage access(!) and a private tent to the right of the stage. The balcony of the Platinum stage is basically eye level of the main stage. I did have a chance to see Macklemore backstage. It's incredible to see the musicians up close and take in the energetic audience from their perspective. It felt like being a rockstar for the day, living vicariously through the performers. There is one slight catch: no one is allowed to stay the whole set. So that everyone has a chance to go backstage, the small group stays for a few songs before being escorted out.
VIP Bathrooms
General admission = Porta Potties. VIP means air-conditioned bathrooms with flushable toilets, toilet paper, sinks, and soap. Three days in the sun, and I was beyond grateful for this. I never stood in line, and attendants kept the toilet paper and paper towels stocked at all times.
Private VIP Stage
All VIP had access to a "VIP Village" that had private bars, restaurants, restrooms, and even a private stage. Headliners performed on this stage exclusively for the VIP, so you could catch the artists in a more intimate setting.
Free Drinks and Food
You have to pay the big, big bucks to have access to free drinks and food. The Skybar offered free drinks to VIP Plus. VIP Platinum received chef-catered foods and top shelf drinks in its white tent lounge. Then, there's the "VIP Suites," an elevated tent perched to the side of the tent (like the Skybar but sectioned out into smaller units). Sponsors and corporations rent them out and provide food and drinks to a very limited number of guests.
No Physical / Mental Exhaustion
Fighting the sun and crowds all day oftentimes lead to intense physical and mental exhaustion at music festivals, but with VIP, there's none of that. Yes, by the end of the day, I was tired. However, I didn't leave sunburned, dehydrated, or have to load up on Advil for muscle and backaches. That's a first in music festival history for me! I actually left the weekend feeling relaxed, as if I had gone on a beach vacation.
Though VIP isn't something I'll have a chance to do regularly (or even again), my experience was so positive, I'm apt to read the fine print of a VIP ticket the next time I go to a concert or music festival. If, for the right price, the ticket includes a stunning view, clean bathrooms, tons of freebies, and a relaxing experience, I know I'll be tempted to buy into it. If you're really treating yourself to a special
Travel and expenses for the author were provided by Alaska Airlines, sponsors of the BottleRock Skydeck, for the purpose of writing this story.
Nas on President Trump: "We All Know a Racist Is in Office"
Nas may be known for his eye-opening rap lyrics, but now, he's speaking out on our current political climate and has a lot to say about President Donald Trump. The rapper recently penned a passionate open letter directed at the president, where he asks the public to act and not silence ourselves during this presidency.
"We all know a racist is in office," Nas wrote for Mass Appeal. "People can talk their sh*t. Comedians can sound racist. People can go through their moments of that sh*t, but when you have the responsibility of being president and you carry on like that, you send a strong message to people outside of your group that they ain't worth sh*t."
Nas is unquestionably one of the most politically aware rappers our country has seen, and his letter to President Trump reasserts that. He explains that the president's morals and messages often make minorities feel like they "ain't worth sh*t."
While Nas doesn't vote nor does he "pay attention to politics," he believes his actions are enough. "My way of addressing these issues is through my work. Whatever president may be in office doesn't affect my work directly. The way he affects people is what affects me," Nas wrote. "My focus is on what's happening with real people in their everyday lives. How they behave, the decisions they make, and how that affects families. I grew up in a single-parent household, so I was affected by that life. But it didn't stop me. So I speak to the everyday people. I speak to everybody. If the people are bothered by it, I speak on it. If the people are bothered and want change, I speak on that."
He wrote that former President Barack Obama followed his dreams, but it doesn't change the fact that racism is still incredibly prevalent and he believes Trump has only made it worse.
"But Barack Obama changed the game so that now, whether you're a woman or Latino or whoever, you can feel that running for office can be a real goal. Winning the election could be real for someone in this country, if that's what you want," he added. "I'm doing all the things I ever dreamed of, even though there was a Ronald Reagan, even though there was laws that ruthlessly destroyed the black community, put tons of us in prison on trumped-up charges, and put us in jail for a long time over crimes that other people get a smack on the hand for. It's basically slavery."
Nas is asking people to act and acknowledge these issues, because remaining silent won't change anything. He closed his letter with some advice: "I don't got time for lippin'. I got time for actions. Anytime I'm speaking it's action."
Action. https://t.co/bfbPVupHKo
- Nasir Jones (@Nas) May 30, 2017
Nas on President Trump: "We All Know a Racist Is in Office"
Nas may be known for his eye-opening rap lyrics, but now, he's speaking out on our current political climate and has a lot to say about President Donald Trump. The rapper recently penned a passionate open letter directed at the president, where he asks the public to act and not silence ourselves during this presidency.
"We all know a racist is in office," Nas wrote for Mass Appeal. "People can talk their sh*t. Comedians can sound racist. People can go through their moments of that sh*t, but when you have the responsibility of being president and you carry on like that, you send a strong message to people outside of your group that they ain't worth sh*t."
Nas is unquestionably one of the most politically aware rappers our country has seen, and his letter to President Trump reasserts that. He explains that the president's morals and messages often make minorities feel like they "ain't worth sh*t."
While Nas doesn't vote nor does he "pay attention to politics," he believes his actions are enough. "My way of addressing these issues is through my work. Whatever president may be in office doesn't affect my work directly. The way he affects people is what affects me," Nas wrote. "My focus is on what's happening with real people in their everyday lives. How they behave, the decisions they make, and how that affects families. I grew up in a single-parent household, so I was affected by that life. But it didn't stop me. So I speak to the everyday people. I speak to everybody. If the people are bothered by it, I speak on it. If the people are bothered and want change, I speak on that."
He wrote that former President Barack Obama followed his dreams, but it doesn't change the fact that racism is still incredibly prevalent and he believes Trump has only made it worse.
"But Barack Obama changed the game so that now, whether you're a woman or Latino or whoever, you can feel that running for office can be a real goal. Winning the election could be real for someone in this country, if that's what you want," he added. "I'm doing all the things I ever dreamed of, even though there was a Ronald Reagan, even though there was laws that ruthlessly destroyed the black community, put tons of us in prison on trumped-up charges, and put us in jail for a long time over crimes that other people get a smack on the hand for. It's basically slavery."
Nas is asking people to act and acknowledge these issues, because remaining silent won't change anything. He closed his letter with some advice: "I don't got time for lippin'. I got time for actions. Anytime I'm speaking it's action."
Action. https://t.co/bfbPVupHKo
- Nasir Jones (@Nas) May 30, 2017
Don't Design a Home Until You've Read RHOC Star Heather Dubrow's 4 Wise Tips
Heather Dubrow's multi-million-dollar homes are practically their own character on The Real Housewives of Orange County. From their mind-boggling square footage to their over-the-top amenities, Heather has a knack for designing unforgettable residences. "I've done two houses from the ground up. One that I bought halfway through construction and finished. And maybe three or four major remodels," the Evite video series host, actress, and mother of four told us in a recent phone interview. Based on the splendor of her most recent home - it has a champagne doorbell inside the palatial closet - we wanted to pick Heather's brain on home design. She shared her truly wise wisdom below.
Design a Home YOU Love
"I think the biggest thing with home design is - and it's taken me a long time to learn this - is you have to put things in your home that you love. And you can't worry about what other people are going to think about it," Heather sagely advises. She admits that when she first started designing homes, she was worried about what everyone else thought, getting hung up on the builder's opinion or a comment the designer made. "When I did [our current] house, I thought, 'You know what? I don't care. I'm going to build the house that I want.' And I am so happy with it. Terry's so happy with it. Maybe it's some people's taste, maybe it's not others,' but you really can't make a mistake if you put things in your home you love."
Start With a Solid Foundation
While Heather's first rule is to design a home you love, no matter how outlandish it may seem to other people, she clarifies that you can't put specific and bizarre pieces in your home in a way that cannot be removed. Meaning, she says, "you can put fuchsia pillows or a purple sofa or anything weird like that, that's fine. But you cannot do a purple marble bathroom because it's just too odd, and if you go to try to sell it, people will feel like they have to replace that." In summary, she says, "when you do the bones of the house, you have to make sure that it's very pretty and homogenous . . . but other than that, go crazy."
Create a Floor Plan Around Your Specific Lifestyle
While Heather's last house was huge, she says the floor plan didn't really flow with the way her family lived and that's, "really important when you're building a house, or remodeling a house, or even buying a house." Heather always wished she had taken a couple more passes at the design before construction began on that house, so when building this house, she says, "I knew exactly what I wanted it to look like. I knew exactly how we function. And as ridiculously large as this house is, we use every square inch of it because of the way it's laid out.
Search High-End and Low-End For Decor
While Heather isn't shy about admitting she loves fine art or splurging on fancy pieces, like a recent Kelly Wearstler statue, she also doesn't overlook more affordable options. "I've been looking for art for my formal powder room for literally six months, and I finally just found something from Target!" Heather exclaims. "I bought this collection of paintings and they are so gorgeous and they were the perfect color and the perfect size and it was wrapped canvas and I freaked out over them." To give them a more unique, upmarket look, Heather positioned them in a different directions. "They're the cheapest thing I've bought, I think, in the house, but they are perfection."
What It's Like When Your Wife Is Pregnant - at the Same Time as You
Usually, when a couple says "we're pregnant," it's a figure of speech. But for married pair Lindsay Lanciault and Toby Fleischman, they mean it quite literally.
The two sit across from each other at a busy cafe sharing tomato soup and bread on a cloudy Saturday. Lanciault, 34, is a speech-language pathologist at UCLA while Fleischman, 41, is a celebrity makeup artist with clients like Evan Rachel Wood, Ellen Page, and Gabourey Sidibe. Both women are brunette with a California-cool style and similar toothy smiles. They've been married for almost three years, live in Los Angeles with their Shih Tzu Lemon (short for Liz Lemon), and have stumbled into a unique circumstance several years in the making: they are both pregnant at the same time.
Given the tangle of legal and medical processes, there simply aren't many women who have experienced what they are going through.
"There was definitely a time in my life where I didn't think kids really fit into my plan," Fleischman says. "Then, when I met Lindsay, it was absolutely clear that she was someone that I wanted to raise children with."
A Unique Situation
Stories like New York's coverage of Kate Elazegui and Emily Kehe last year and Discovery Health specials like Quads With Two Moms illustrate how parallel pregnancies for lesbian and queer couples can be not only rare, but difficult - and oftentimes sensationalized. And, as FiveThirtyEight reported in 2015, the odds of this situation are so slim, it's hard to even gather data on it. Neither the CDC nor the Society for Artificial Reproductive Technology record comprehensive statistics on intrauterine inseminations. And because a large number of women decide to undergo insemination in the privacy of their own homes - like Lanciault and Fleischman did - or at a clinic, their successful pregnancies aren't always reflected in the data that is collected, anyway. Given the tangle of legal and medical processes that come with two women in a relationship trying to get pregnant, there simply aren't many women who have experienced what Lanciault and Fleischman are going through.
Dr. Kristin Bendikson, fertility specialist at University of Southern California Fertility, says the situation is as unlikely as it sounds. "The only time I've seen it happen is when I was a resident - and that was, like, 20 years ago," Dr. Bendikson explains. "The overwhelming majority of lesbian couples that I see are usually focused on one person getting pregnant at a time." In fact, so were Lanciault and Fleischman when they started their journey.
The process of getting pregnant seemed easy enough when Lanciault and Fleischman started to explore their options. The couple decided in August 2015 that Fleischman should try to get pregnant first, since she's the oldest of the pair and her window for motherhood seemed slimmer. Lanciault supported the decision and aided in finding a sperm donor. With a donor in place, Lanciault tried at home via the "syringe method" - more technically known as intravaginal insemination (or, as Fleischhman laughingly refers to it, the "turkey baster" method.)
Fleischman and Lanciault's insemination process was a lot simpler than you might assume; with guidance from their doctors, the two used menstrual cups (Diva Cups, specifically) as their syringe-method vehicles for inserting their donor's sample. It was as easy as that.
"First try at home, I got pregnant," she says. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage, however. Over the next year and a half, they kept trying, though complications arose. They faced the miscarriage and medical complications. It also became clear that their original donor's samples were not going to be viable moving forward, which forced them to seek out a new donor. All of this kept them from achieving their dream of motherhood.
The process took a toll on their relationship. "It was probably the most stressful thing," Lanciault says. "Not that we were going to get divorced over it, but . . . I didn't want to come home. We were at odds."
Deciding to Try Together
Due to the series of blocks standing in the way of motherhood, the two made the choice to shift focus from Fleischman to Lanciault after they successfully landed on a new donor. This brought up a lot of complicated feelings - the shift wasn't as easy as passing a natal baton from one wife to another.
She remembers thinking: "We can't be pregnant together. What are we, crazy?"
"I wasn't ready to stop," Fleischman remembers. She remembers thinking: "'We can't be pregnant together. What are we, crazy? We can't do that.'"
With the help of Danica Thornberry, acupuncturist and author of Stick It To Me Baby!, the two were able to physically and emotionally anchor the process by focusing on fertility. "Women who identify as being infertile deal with a lot of jealousy and negativity as they see friends and sister-in-laws, family members, getting pregnant and they're not," Thornberry shared by phone. "To have 'the enemy' - a pregnant woman - in your house, when you're not able to get pregnant and that's your wife, that's what made this case so unique."
Fleischman can speak directly to this: "During that time, Danica was really helpful in emotionally dealing with some of these issues and trying to think about the process in an emotionally healthy and positive way, and not trying to control it, and not trying to be crazy about it, and not trying to be negative."
"While [Lindsay]'s saying, 'I think that I should start - you should stop,' another birthday was nearing and there was kind of this mental block of that birthday," Flesichman says. "I had to let go."
Fleischman followed Thornberry's The SEED Fertility program, a diet Thornberry says "optimizes fertilization," and credits it with helping make her insemination after two years of struggles a success. "After a month and a half on this diet, I had this perfect, beautiful, normal ovulation - and that's the month I got pregnant. I'm very lucky I got pregnant 'naturally' at home by syringe method."
"Is This the Right Thing to Do?"
The two found out Fleischman was pregnant the same week Lanciault was starting her efforts in November 2016. Instead of abandoning the work she had put into her own attempt to become pregnant, Lanciault attempted to get pregnant, too, via the same donor and method - and it worked. Quickly. She, too, was pregnant by December.
The two have just a three-week difference between their due dates - Lanciault is four months along; Fleischman is five - and found out about Lanciault's pregnancy the week following the election of Donald Trump, which placed a shadow over the news.
"There was this level of 'Is this the right thing to do? Bring children into this world?'" Lanciault says. "We were so fearful."
These fears aren't entirely unwarranted. Emily Hecht-McGowan, chief policy officer at the Family Equality Council, says the process of non-traditional parenting is complicated to begin with, and that the Trump administration's stances on LGBTQ issues could further hinder the process. That potential future aside, she finds that this all has to do with a handful of roadblocks that LGBTQ persons face in trying to start a family.
"Information is probably the first barrier," she says. "Lots of same-sex couples (or prospective single parents or LGBTQ people) generally don't know the host of options that are available to them. The other piece is financial. All of these processes cost money, whether it's adoption through foster care or hiring a surrogate to help you create a family. Nothing is free." That cost, according to Dr. Bendickson, can range from hundreds of dollars for a sperm sample to tens of thousands for more advanced treatments like in vitro fertilization.
Policies and practices on a state and national level also stand in the way of LGBTQ persons becoming parents since laws do not exist to protect them. This leaves queer parents and their children vulnerable and can make starting a family impossible for some.
Beyond this, Emily sees actions like a reported religious freedom executive order as validating for anti-LGBTQ attitudes - especially as they relate to potential queer parents. She advises all potential queer parents to talk to an expert who understands the laws in their state - and warns that simply being married might not resolve all the issues that LGBTQ families can face in their day-to-day lives.
While Lanciault and Fleischman are concerned, they're confident in their state's policies and legal protections and feel very fortunate to be where they are in America. "We're really lucky that we live in Los Angeles," Lanciault says. "Hopefully, our kids won't feel like they're different because they have two moms."
But being Californians hasn't meant there has been any relaxing regarding LGBTQ parenting rights. As Lambda Legal advises, all same-sex and queer parents today must take the proper steps toward adoption as soon as possible, particularly second-parent adoptions.
Lanciault and Fleischman aren't taking such advice lightly. "We're very eager to adopt each other's children as soon as legally possible just to solidify that aspect of it . . . just in case!" Fleischman says. "You just don't know. We live in this lovely world of California but you just don't know."
Rising to the Challenge
Still, Fleischman sees starting a family as a welcome challenge - especially considering that the couple will be birthing a set of boys. The couple were very confident with the idea of raising strong women, because they themselves are strong women. But men? This is a challenge they admit they didn't initially think through. "We have this huge responsibility to raise respectful, compassionate, feminist men," Fleischman says.
As far as her advice for other lesbians who want to start a family? Fleischman believes women should figure out their fertility standing as soon as possible. "The top headlines of advice have been to go to a fertility specialist early, no matter how old you are or how regular you are or how healthy you think you are," she says.
Lanciault also takes the opportunity to remind people to be aware that many women - straight or gay - face fertility challenges. "People think it's okay to ask a woman who is maybe of childbearing years or who just got married, 'Are you going to start trying soon?' But you don't know if they actually have been trying. You don't know what their situation is. We've gotten that 'When are you going to start?' question and it's like . . . we've been trying for six months. You don't know what somebody's going through."
"If she's feeling something that I've gone through, I can validate it and say that that's normal."
Lanciault concurs. "As a lesbian couple we have that extra, added 'How do we do this?'," she says.
While they look forward to being mothers, Lanciault says they're "a little nervous" about the potential for dueling labors, and Fleischman knows caring for two children while they're both recovering from birth will require some assistance; "We're going to have to get a nurse for the first month."
Overall, though, sharing the experience of pregnancy has brought the pair even closer together.
"If she's feeling something that I've gone through, I can validate it and say that that's normal," Fleischman says. "But, like I said, there are a lot of hormones in the house and we go through waves - in one day - of being obsessed and in love with each other and so euphoric, to 'I don't want to be next to you. Please don't talk to me.'"
What It's Like When Your Wife Is Pregnant - at the Same Time as You
Usually, when a couple says "we're pregnant," it's a figure of speech. But for married pair Lindsay Lanciault and Toby Fleischman, they mean it quite literally.
The two sit across from each other at a busy cafe sharing tomato soup and bread on a cloudy Saturday. Lanciault, 34, is a speech-language pathologist at UCLA while Fleischman, 41, is a celebrity makeup artist with clients like Evan Rachel Wood, Ellen Page, and Gabourey Sidibe. Both women are brunette with a California-cool style and similar toothy smiles. They've been married for almost three years, live in Los Angeles with their Shih Tzu Lemon (short for Liz Lemon), and have stumbled into a unique circumstance several years in the making: they are both pregnant at the same time.
Given the tangle of legal and medical processes, there simply aren't many women who have experienced what they are going through.
"There was definitely a time in my life where I didn't think kids really fit into my plan," Fleischman says. "Then, when I met Lindsay, it was absolutely clear that she was someone that I wanted to raise children with."
A Unique Situation
Stories like New York's coverage of Kate Elazegui and Emily Kehe last year and Discovery Health specials like Quads With Two Moms illustrate how parallel pregnancies for lesbian and queer couples can be not only rare, but difficult - and oftentimes sensationalized. And, as FiveThirtyEight reported in 2015, the odds of this situation are so slim, it's hard to even gather data on it. Neither the CDC nor the Society for Artificial Reproductive Technology record comprehensive statistics on intrauterine inseminations. And because a large number of women decide to undergo insemination in the privacy of their own homes - like Lanciault and Fleischman did - or at a clinic, their successful pregnancies aren't always reflected in the data that is collected, anyway. Given the tangle of legal and medical processes that come with two women in a relationship trying to get pregnant, there simply aren't many women who have experienced what Lanciault and Fleischman are going through.
Dr. Kristin Bendikson, fertility specialist at University of Southern California Fertility, says the situation is as unlikely as it sounds. "The only time I've seen it happen is when I was a resident - and that was, like, 20 years ago," Dr. Bendikson explains. "The overwhelming majority of lesbian couples that I see are usually focused on one person getting pregnant at a time." In fact, so were Lanciault and Fleischman when they started their journey.
The process of getting pregnant seemed easy enough when Lanciault and Fleischman started to explore their options. The couple decided in August 2015 that Fleischman should try to get pregnant first, since she's the oldest of the pair and her window for motherhood seemed slimmer. Lanciault supported the decision and aided in finding a sperm donor. With a donor in place, Lanciault tried at home via the "syringe method" - more technically known as intravaginal insemination (or, as Fleischhman laughingly refers to it, the "turkey baster" method.)
Fleischman and Lanciault's insemination process was a lot simpler than you might assume; with guidance from their doctors, the two used menstrual cups (Diva Cups, specifically) as their syringe-method vehicles for inserting their donor's sample. It was as easy as that.
"First try at home, I got pregnant," she says. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage, however. Over the next year and a half, they kept trying, though complications arose. They faced the miscarriage and medical complications. It also became clear that their original donor's samples were not going to be viable moving forward, which forced them to seek out a new donor. All of this kept them from achieving their dream of motherhood.
The process took a toll on their relationship. "It was probably the most stressful thing," Lanciault says. "Not that we were going to get divorced over it, but . . . I didn't want to come home. We were at odds."
Deciding to Try Together
Due to the series of blocks standing in the way of motherhood, the two made the choice to shift focus from Fleischman to Lanciault after they successfully landed on a new donor. This brought up a lot of complicated feelings - the shift wasn't as easy as passing a natal baton from one wife to another.
She remembers thinking: "We can't be pregnant together. What are we, crazy?"
"I wasn't ready to stop," Fleischman remembers. She remembers thinking: "'We can't be pregnant together. What are we, crazy? We can't do that.'"
With the help of Danica Thornberry, acupuncturist and author of Stick It To Me Baby!, the two were able to physically and emotionally anchor the process by focusing on fertility. "Women who identify as being infertile deal with a lot of jealousy and negativity as they see friends and sister-in-laws, family members, getting pregnant and they're not," Thornberry shared by phone. "To have 'the enemy' - a pregnant woman - in your house, when you're not able to get pregnant and that's your wife, that's what made this case so unique."
Fleischman can speak directly to this: "During that time, Danica was really helpful in emotionally dealing with some of these issues and trying to think about the process in an emotionally healthy and positive way, and not trying to control it, and not trying to be crazy about it, and not trying to be negative."
"While [Lindsay]'s saying, 'I think that I should start - you should stop,' another birthday was nearing and there was kind of this mental block of that birthday," Flesichman says. "I had to let go."
Fleischman followed Thornberry's The SEED Fertility program, a diet Thornberry says "optimizes fertilization," and credits it with helping make her insemination after two years of struggles a success. "After a month and a half on this diet, I had this perfect, beautiful, normal ovulation - and that's the month I got pregnant. I'm very lucky I got pregnant 'naturally' at home by syringe method."
"Is This the Right Thing to Do?"
The two found out Fleischman was pregnant the same week Lanciault was starting her efforts in November 2016. Instead of abandoning the work she had put into her own attempt to become pregnant, Lanciault attempted to get pregnant, too, via the same donor and method - and it worked. Quickly. She, too, was pregnant by December.
The two have just a three-week difference between their due dates - Lanciault is four months along; Fleischman is five - and found out about Lanciault's pregnancy the week following the election of Donald Trump, which placed a shadow over the news.
"There was this level of 'Is this the right thing to do? Bring children into this world?'" Lanciault says. "We were so fearful."
These fears aren't entirely unwarranted. Emily Hecht-McGowan, chief policy officer at the Family Equality Council, says the process of non-traditional parenting is complicated to begin with, and that the Trump administration's stances on LGBTQ issues could further hinder the process. That potential future aside, she finds that this all has to do with a handful of roadblocks that LGBTQ persons face in trying to start a family.
"Information is probably the first barrier," she says. "Lots of same-sex couples (or prospective single parents or LGBTQ people) generally don't know the host of options that are available to them. The other piece is financial. All of these processes cost money, whether it's adoption through foster care or hiring a surrogate to help you create a family. Nothing is free." That cost, according to Dr. Bendickson, can range from hundreds of dollars for a sperm sample to tens of thousands for more advanced treatments like in vitro fertilization.
Policies and practices on a state and national level also stand in the way of LGBTQ persons becoming parents since laws do not exist to protect them. This leaves queer parents and their children vulnerable and can make starting a family impossible for some.
Beyond this, Emily sees actions like a reported religious freedom executive order as validating for anti-LGBTQ attitudes - especially as they relate to potential queer parents. She advises all potential queer parents to talk to an expert who understands the laws in their state - and warns that simply being married might not resolve all the issues that LGBTQ families can face in their day-to-day lives.
While Lanciault and Fleischman are concerned, they're confident in their state's policies and legal protections and feel very fortunate to be where they are in America. "We're really lucky that we live in Los Angeles," Lanciault says. "Hopefully, our kids won't feel like they're different because they have two moms."
But being Californians hasn't meant there has been any relaxing regarding LGBTQ parenting rights. As Lambda Legal advises, all same-sex and queer parents today must take the proper steps toward adoption as soon as possible, particularly second-parent adoptions.
Lanciault and Fleischman aren't taking such advice lightly. "We're very eager to adopt each other's children as soon as legally possible just to solidify that aspect of it . . . just in case!" Fleischman says. "You just don't know. We live in this lovely world of California but you just don't know."
Rising to the Challenge
Still, Fleischman sees starting a family as a welcome challenge - especially considering that the couple will be birthing a set of boys. The couple were very confident with the idea of raising strong women, because they themselves are strong women. But men? This is a challenge they admit they didn't initially think through. "We have this huge responsibility to raise respectful, compassionate, feminist men," Fleischman says.
As far as her advice for other lesbians who want to start a family? Fleischman believes women should figure out their fertility standing as soon as possible. "The top headlines of advice have been to go to a fertility specialist early, no matter how old you are or how regular you are or how healthy you think you are," she says.
Lanciault also takes the opportunity to remind people to be aware that many women - straight or gay - face fertility challenges. "People think it's okay to ask a woman who is maybe of childbearing years or who just got married, 'Are you going to start trying soon?' But you don't know if they actually have been trying. You don't know what their situation is. We've gotten that 'When are you going to start?' question and it's like . . . we've been trying for six months. You don't know what somebody's going through."
"If she's feeling something that I've gone through, I can validate it and say that that's normal."
Lanciault concurs. "As a lesbian couple we have that extra, added 'How do we do this?'," she says.
While they look forward to being mothers, Lanciault says they're "a little nervous" about the potential for dueling labors, and Fleischman knows caring for two children while they're both recovering from birth will require some assistance; "We're going to have to get a nurse for the first month."
Overall, though, sharing the experience of pregnancy has brought the pair even closer together.
"If she's feeling something that I've gone through, I can validate it and say that that's normal," Fleischman says. "But, like I said, there are a lot of hormones in the house and we go through waves - in one day - of being obsessed and in love with each other and so euphoric, to 'I don't want to be next to you. Please don't talk to me.'"
See the Places Barack and Michelle Called Home Before the White House
Until very recently, Barack and Michelle Obama have proudly called 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue "home." For almost a decade, not only has this monumental White House served as their living quarters and "office space," but it has been where they have raised two cute little girls into poised and well-rounded young women. And while they have already selected their new home post-White House, we were curious to know where Barack and Michelle lived before they both became staples of American history. Read on for an inside look at their digs long before we referred to this power couple as president and first lady.
7 Surprising Truths About Going to the Top of the Statue of Liberty
On my first trip to New York City, I was very excited to see some important monuments. Naturally, I was pumped to check out the Statue of Liberty - it's an important piece of America's history, after all. My boyfriend and I bought tickets to go to the crown of Lady Liberty, but it wasn't quite what I expected . . .
Overall I am very glad I made it to the top, but the experience getting there was pretty surprising. Keep reading to see what it's really like to go on the tour.
Infertility Treatments Failed Me - and I'm Pretty Sure That's Exactly What Was Meant to Happen
My husband and I were enjoying some chicken wings and a couple Blue Moons at a rural bar where a local's dog had the habit of sitting on a bar stool. We had just tied the knot on a beach two months earlier. He looked at me with a huge grin on his face and said, "Let's start a family." We clinked our beers and toasted to getting knocked up. Because it's that easy right? You decide you want a family and in a few months there is the pregnancy announcement and then a few months later the healthy, happy baby. Two becomes three is so easy for most.
Naively, I assumed that getting pregnant would be just like that. I would stop taking birth control and in a few months those two little lines would appear on the pregnancy test. But by month three of trying I felt like something wasn't right. I called my OBGYN and she suggested ovulation strips even though I had always been fairly certain when I was ovulating.
A few more months went by and still nothing. I called back again and asked if my husband could be tested and that test changed our entire outlook on starting our family. The results came back that he had extremely low sperm count and morphology and motility issues. We were told we had one in a million odds of getting pregnant naturally and that our only option was in vitro fertilization (IVF).
IVF was a tough thing for me to jump into. I'm the type of person that doesn't even like to take something for a headache. The thought of all of the medication and procedures honestly made me want to run. It took everything in me to put someone else before me. I had to put my husband first. This was his only chance at having a biological child. I had to do it for him.
Before we jumped into IVF I had read about another procedure called an intrauterine insemination (IUI). I asked my OBGYN if we could do that first and they did the procedure twice, but it failed. Later, I learned that I could have done a medicated IUI and our odds of getting pregnant would have been much higher. But I'm not a doctor. I didn't know that even existed. I just trusted my doctor to guide us to what was best for us.
After the failed IUIs we continued to try naturally for over a year before finally going to an IVF specialist. We filled out the paperwork, had blood work done, and a physical exam all in one appointment. We were told that we could start on their next cycle if we were ready. Eighty other couples would be part of it. We signed page after page of disclosures and waivers and wrote a check for $20,000. I would grin and bear it. I would do what I was told I needed to do, because in the end it would all be worth it. Right?
The nurse called me while I was driving a couple days after our egg retrieval. I recognized the number and pulled over to answer the call. This was a call I had been waiting for. She told me that out of my 23 eggs only six were successfully fertilized. She told me that they weren't developing properly. She said that we would have to freeze them and do a transfer later. I was dumbfounded that so few eggs fertilized even with the extra money that we had paid for an intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).
But then I became even more confused. "But why would we freeze them? Shouldn't they be transferred?" No, she said. The transfer will have to be done on another cycle. I remember thinking out loud and saying, "That doesn't make any sense." There had to be some reason why they didn't want to transfer the embryos at that time. Only later would I learn that it was due to scheduling. Turns out having 80 couples on a cycle and trying to schedule transfers is a challenge for a small clinic. I also learned that the freezing of our embryos decreased our chances of pregnancy from 80 percent to 30 percent.
That day was so difficult. But the next cycle was even more heartbreaking because the transfer didn't work. And the third cycle was a positive chemical pregnancy that failed after a week, but not until after we shared the short-lived happy news with our parents and close friends. Then the next cycle with our last remaining embryos didn't work at all.
What doctors and nurses and even patients won't tell you about IVF is the emotional toll it takes. It's not just hard on your body - the bloat, weight gain, and physical changes are nothing compared to what happens spiritually. One of the medications actually made me suicidal during a cycle. My husband and I had a very minor argument while on a weekend ski trip and I went into the bathroom to take a moment to decompress. I remember looking up at the bathroom light bulbs and thought to myself, "I could break that and slit my wrists." My next thought was. "Wow, where did that come from?" Luckily, I recognized it as being completely out of character for me so I searched the side effects of the medication I was taking and sure enough there it was: suicidal thoughts.
Infertility changed me. The years of struggling to conceive almost destroyed my marriage, but I learned a lot. One of the greatest lessons of our infertility journey was that you have to be your own advocate. I learned to educate myself and research everything as much as I possibly could. Know all of your options. If I had known then what I know now I would have skipped IVF altogether and just moved forward with adoption. That option felt right from the moment we decided to take that step.
We put IVF behind us. We let go of the hopes for a biological child and embraced a happy, healthy baby boy. The moment I carried him out of the delivery room to meet his father for the first time was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
When our son was 17 months old - five years almost to the exact date we toasted to starting a family - I found out I was pregnant, naturally. No matter the hopes and wishes we have, I truly believe the journey shapes us for the better. Western medicine failed us - and I'm pretty sure that's exactly what was meant to happen.
Infertility Treatments Failed Me - and I'm Pretty Sure That's Exactly What Was Meant to Happen
My husband and I were enjoying some chicken wings and a couple Blue Moons at a rural bar where a local's dog had the habit of sitting on a bar stool. We had just tied the knot on a beach two months earlier. He looked at me with a huge grin on his face and said, "Let's start a family." We clinked our beers and toasted to getting knocked up. Because it's that easy right? You decide you want a family and in a few months there is the pregnancy announcement and then a few months later the healthy, happy baby. Two becomes three is so easy for most.
Naively, I assumed that getting pregnant would be just like that. I would stop taking birth control and in a few months those two little lines would appear on the pregnancy test. But by month three of trying I felt like something wasn't right. I called my OBGYN and she suggested ovulation strips even though I had always been fairly certain when I was ovulating.
A few more months went by and still nothing. I called back again and asked if my husband could be tested and that test changed our entire outlook on starting our family. The results came back that he had extremely low sperm count and morphology and motility issues. We were told we had one in a million odds of getting pregnant naturally and that our only option was in vitro fertilization (IVF).
IVF was a tough thing for me to jump into. I'm the type of person that doesn't even like to take something for a headache. The thought of all of the medication and procedures honestly made me want to run. It took everything in me to put someone else before me. I had to put my husband first. This was his only chance at having a biological child. I had to do it for him.
Before we jumped into IVF I had read about another procedure called an intrauterine insemination (IUI). I asked my OBGYN if we could do that first and they did the procedure twice, but it failed. Later, I learned that I could have done a medicated IUI and our odds of getting pregnant would have been much higher. But I'm not a doctor. I didn't know that even existed. I just trusted my doctor to guide us to what was best for us.
After the failed IUIs we continued to try naturally for over a year before finally going to an IVF specialist. We filled out the paperwork, had blood work done, and a physical exam all in one appointment. We were told that we could start on their next cycle if we were ready. Eighty other couples would be part of it. We signed page after page of disclosures and waivers and wrote a check for $20,000. I would grin and bear it. I would do what I was told I needed to do, because in the end it would all be worth it. Right?
The nurse called me while I was driving a couple days after our egg retrieval. I recognized the number and pulled over to answer the call. This was a call I had been waiting for. She told me that out of my 23 eggs only six were successfully fertilized. She told me that they weren't developing properly. She said that we would have to freeze them and do a transfer later. I was dumbfounded that so few eggs fertilized even with the extra money that we had paid for an intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).
But then I became even more confused. "But why would we freeze them? Shouldn't they be transferred?" No, she said. The transfer will have to be done on another cycle. I remember thinking out loud and saying, "That doesn't make any sense." There had to be some reason why they didn't want to transfer the embryos at that time. Only later would I learn that it was due to scheduling. Turns out having 80 couples on a cycle and trying to schedule transfers is a challenge for a small clinic. I also learned that the freezing of our embryos decreased our chances of pregnancy from 80 percent to 30 percent.
That day was so difficult. But the next cycle was even more heartbreaking because the transfer didn't work. And the third cycle was a positive chemical pregnancy that failed after a week, but not until after we shared the short-lived happy news with our parents and close friends. Then the next cycle with our last remaining embryos didn't work at all.
What doctors and nurses and even patients won't tell you about IVF is the emotional toll it takes. It's not just hard on your body - the bloat, weight gain, and physical changes are nothing compared to what happens spiritually. One of the medications actually made me suicidal during a cycle. My husband and I had a very minor argument while on a weekend ski trip and I went into the bathroom to take a moment to decompress. I remember looking up at the bathroom light bulbs and thought to myself, "I could break that and slit my wrists." My next thought was. "Wow, where did that come from?" Luckily, I recognized it as being completely out of character for me so I searched the side effects of the medication I was taking and sure enough there it was: suicidal thoughts.
Infertility changed me. The years of struggling to conceive almost destroyed my marriage, but I learned a lot. One of the greatest lessons of our infertility journey was that you have to be your own advocate. I learned to educate myself and research everything as much as I possibly could. Know all of your options. If I had known then what I know now I would have skipped IVF altogether and just moved forward with adoption. That option felt right from the moment we decided to take that step.
We put IVF behind us. We let go of the hopes for a biological child and embraced a happy, healthy baby boy. The moment I carried him out of the delivery room to meet his father for the first time was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
When our son was 17 months old - five years almost to the exact date we toasted to starting a family - I found out I was pregnant, naturally. No matter the hopes and wishes we have, I truly believe the journey shapes us for the better. Western medicine failed us - and I'm pretty sure that's exactly what was meant to happen.
10 Books Paired With 10 US Beaches For Ultimate Summer Reading
It doesn't get any better than reading a good book on the beach, plus maybe with a margarita in hand. But even if the ocean and sand aren't within your reach, you can still escape into juicy page-turners with Summer settings as the next closest thing. To help inspire your next list of reads, we've selected 10 beachy books (either set on shore or ideal for laid-back reading) and 10 US beaches that make the perfect pair.
Keep reading for the ultimate Summer reading and to find out how you can actually access books for free at these 10 beaches!
There's No Denying That Melania Trump Has Been Looking to This Former FLOTUS For Wardrobe Inspiration
Ever since Melania Trump stepped out in a light blue coat and white gloves during Trump's inauguration, we couldn't help but notice a resemblance between her outfit and a certain former first lady. But the similarities between Melania and Jackie Kennedy's style didn't stop there. From her trip to Saudi Arabia to her visit to the Vatican, it seems like Melania is continuing to channel Jackie Kennedy's iconic style.
With her classic tailored skirt suits and chic pillbox hats, Jackie Kennedy is often viewed as one of the best dressed first ladies in history. Melania's looks, on the other hand, have been receiving mixed reviews, with some designers even refusing to dress her. With that in mind, it makes sense that Melania might want to steal a page out of Jackie's book. Read on to have a look at the similarities below.
Will Any Pandora Rides Make You Sick? If You Have to Ask, Then Perhaps
Walt Disney World's newly opened Pandora - The World of Avatar offers two stellar rides at varying levels of excitement and thrill. While the Na'vi River Journey is a tranquil boat ride that's fun for the whole family, Avatar Flight of Passage is decidedly more intense.
The land's advanced 3D thrill ride basically gives explorers the opportunity to ride a banshee through Pandora's many spectacular sights. As with many immersive 3D rides, there are a few jump scares. In all honesty, those few startling moments should be fine, even for nervous riders. The problem with Avatar Flight of Passage, however, is not its scary moments but rather its slightly dizzying aftermath.
When I previewed Pandora prior to its official opening, I was curious to see if the ride would make me sick. While I love thrill rides and dark coasters, I tend to get dizzy on intense 3D rides. For example, I sometimes have a hard time riding the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride at Islands of Adventure in Orlando - even though I still totally do it because it's so fun. On Avatar Flight of Passage, I wasn't uncomfortable and I was honestly able to enjoy the ride throughout its duration. When I stepped off, I was slightly unsteady, but I was able to keep it moving seconds later.
To really test it out, I went on the ride again later that same day. That's when I encountered slightly more discomfort. The in-your-face visuals paired with the movement of the vehicle felt more intense the second time. When I stepped off, I immediately decided that I should not - nor would I be able to - ride it a third time. In fact, I probably shouldn't have done it a second time.
If you're prone to motion sickness, I think you'll be OK so long as you know what to expect and perhaps pack some nausea relief medicine, like Dramamine. Now, if dizzying rides have the tendency to really affect you, then I would definitely recommend skipping the ride. It is a really fun ride, but it's not worth ruining the rest of your day at Pandora.
Travel and accommodations were provided by Disney for the purpose of writing this post.
These Are the 21 Hottest June Beauty Launches You Need to Own
As we embrace June's warmer weather, our beauty routines are getting way lazier - and we mean that in a good way. We will be air-drying our hair with sea salt sprays, dabbing on a bit of sexy, musky, ocean-inspired perfume oils, and keeping it minimally chic when it comes to makeup. Here, we're sharing the just-launched hair, skin, fragrance, and makeup products we plan to use down to the very last drop (#empties).
Vatican Says Relying on Fossil Fuels Is as Ridiculous as Believing Earth Is Flat
President Donald Trump has decided to screw the planet and rescind America's ratification of the Paris Agreement. This is bad for everyone. Scientists and activists are irate, but the Vatican is by far the most powerful opponent of Trump's decision (the pope does lead roughly a billion people, after all). Reuters reports that the head of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, Bishop Marcelo Sánchez Sorondo, had some strong words for the president (preceding his official announcement that he would actually withdraw).
"If he really does (pull out), it would be a huge slap in the face for us," Sorondo told the Roman newspaper La Repubblica and later confirmed his comments with Reuters. "It will be a disaster for everyone."
We know it's not exactly in the Vatican's nature to so explicitly target or name Trump, but the bishop was clear about the church's position. "[Withdrawing] would not only be a disaster but completely unscientific. Saying that we need to rely on coal and oil is like saying that the earth is not round," Sorondo said. "It is an absurdity dictated by the need to make money."
The bishop does have a point: Trump's cabinet is stacked with former oil executives and politicians whose coffers have long been lined with fossil fuel industry donations. But even some of those oil allies encouraged Trump to remain in the landmark treaty; Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the former Exxon CEO, pressed the president to ratify the agreement to curtail carbon emissions. But to no avail.
Make the planet great again? Nah. But we really shouldn't be that surprised considering the president once tweeted climate change was a hoax engineered by China to outperform the United States economically. Perversely, China is actually capitalizing on climate change and outpacing America on another metric: investment in renewable energy. In January, China's state energy agency announced its plans to invest $361 billion in solar by 2020 and create more than 13 million jobs in the industry.
There's No Denying That Melania Trump Has Been Looking to This Former FLOTUS For Wardrobe Inspiration
Ever since Melania Trump stepped out in a light blue coat and white gloves during Trump's inauguration, we couldn't help but notice a resemblance between her outfit and a certain former first lady. But the similarities between Melania and Jackie Kennedy's style didn't stop there. From her trip to Saudi Arabia to her visit to the Vatican, it seems like Melania is continuing to channel Jackie Kennedy's iconic style.
With her classic tailored skirt suits and chic pillbox hats, Jackie Kennedy is often viewed as one of the best dressed first ladies in history. Melania's looks, on the other hand, have been receiving mixed reviews, with some designers even refusing to dress her. With that in mind, it makes sense that Melania might want to steal a page out of Jackie's book. Read on to have a look at the similarities below.
An ER Doctor's Kind Words Gave Me the Reassurance I Needed as a New Mom
Leaving the hospital with my newborn felt equal parts thrilling and terrifying. After days of routine monitoring and a regular stream of nurses ready to answer all our burning questions, my husband and I were suddenly on our own. I put our son in his car seat, glanced up at my husband, and thought, "Yay, here we go!" And then: "Wait, do we actually know what we're doing?"
We did and we didn't. Books, classes, and spending time with other people's babies can only prepare you so much, and as we drove away from the hospital, my confidence wavered.
Our first afternoon at home went smoothly - or as smoothly as can be expected, anyway. But that night, at about 3 a.m., just hours after we'd left the hospital with our son, we watched him choke and stop breathing for about four seconds.
His little eyes grew wide and I screamed as I held him up. My husband yelled his name, panicked, and with another choking sound, our baby started to breathe again. I watched as his eyes softened and the color came back to his cheeks. He seemed to be OK, but my heart still felt like it was lodged in my throat. It had come out of nowhere.
"I'm sure he's fine," my husband said, his face pale and unconvincing.
I hesitated. "Maybe we should call the advice nurse. Just to be sure."
He seemed to be OK, but my heart still felt like it was lodged in my throat.
We debated for a couple minutes, both of us wanting to call but also worried that we were hysterical over nothing. Each of us had slept a total of six hours, maybe seven over the past two days. Maybe we were just tired? After a bit of back and forth, we soon agreed that we'd rather be safe than sorry, and sure enough, the advice nurse urged us to take him to the emergency room.
She suggested we go because our son was so tiny and there had been complications throughout the delivery. "If there's any question that there might be a problem, I have to tell you to bring him in," she said. "But it's up to you as the parents."
Up to us, the parents. Ohmygod, I thought. We're parents.
The drive along an empty highway took about 15 minutes, and by the time we were sitting in a room and waiting for the doctor, both of us wearing mismatched pajamas, our son seemed fine. He had calmed down, and so had we. The insecurity set in that we'd probably overreacted.
"I'm embarrassed," I told my husband. "It hasn't even been one day and we're already freaking out."
"I know. I feel weird too," he said.
The ER doctor seemed a bit stiff when he introduced himself. As he examined our son, he ticked off questions about when the baby had eaten, how he'd behaved, and what we'd experienced in those first days. We gave him all the answers, and after checking our son's vital signs, the doctor said he was fine and that it may have been reflux, but he'd be OK.
Maybe it was the dark circles under our eyes or our mismatched pajamas or the way we shyly thanked the doctor and half-apologized for being there in the first place, but whatever it was, something made him pull out a chair and sit down.
"I'm 45 and I have three kids," he told us. "With the first one, we had no idea what we were doing, and we were nervous about every little thing. I thought it would be different with the others, but it wasn't. I'm still nervous all the time."
I started crying. I blamed the hormones and the sleep deprivation, but really, it was relief.
I started crying. I blamed the hormones and the sleep deprivation, but really, it was relief.
The doctor put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't feel silly for being here," he said. "Trust your instincts. This is your kid, and you did the right thing. You can bring him here in the middle of the night whenever you feel like you need to, OK?"
We nodded and he left, and I glanced at my husband, who gave me a tired, satisfied smile. "I'm glad we came," he said. "Even though I'd rather be sleeping."
"Me too," I agreed, grateful for a doctor who'd known exactly what we needed: reassurance, a little bit of encouragement. Kindness.
It's been nearly six months and I still think about that night all the time. There have been plenty of mini panics since then, and whenever I feel anxious about something, I let myself be afraid. I let my instincts kick in, I listen to my gut, and I remember that it's up to us, the parents, who mostly have no idea what we're doing. Which is totally, 100 percent OK.
Vatican Says Relying on Fossil Fuels Is as Ridiculous as Believing Earth Is Flat
President Donald Trump has decided to screw the planet and rescind America's ratification of the Paris Agreement. This is bad for everyone. Scientists and activists are irate, but the Vatican is by far the most powerful opponent of Trump's decision (the pope does lead roughly a billion people, after all). Reuters reports that the head of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, Bishop Marcelo Sánchez Sorondo, had some strong words for the president (preceding his official announcement that he would actually withdraw).
"If he really does (pull out), it would be a huge slap in the face for us," Sorondo told the Roman newspaper La Repubblica and later confirmed his comments with Reuters. "It will be a disaster for everyone."
We know it's not exactly in the Vatican's nature to so explicitly target or name Trump, but the bishop was clear about the church's position. "[Withdrawing] would not only be a disaster but completely unscientific. Saying that we need to rely on coal and oil is like saying that the earth is not round," Sorondo said. "It is an absurdity dictated by the need to make money."
The bishop does have a point: Trump's cabinet is stacked with former oil executives and politicians whose coffers have long been lined with fossil fuel industry donations. But even some of those oil allies encouraged Trump to remain in the landmark treaty; Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the former Exxon CEO, pressed the president to ratify the agreement to curtail carbon emissions. But to no avail.
Make the planet great again? Nah. But we really shouldn't be that surprised considering the president once tweeted climate change was a hoax engineered by China to outperform the United States economically. Perversely, China is actually capitalizing on climate change and outpacing America on another metric: investment in renewable energy. In January, China's state energy agency announced its plans to invest $361 billion in solar by 2020 and create more than 13 million jobs in the industry.
An ER Doctor's Kind Words Gave Me the Reassurance I Needed as a New Mom
Leaving the hospital with my newborn felt equal parts thrilling and terrifying. After days of routine monitoring and a regular stream of nurses ready to answer all our burning questions, my husband and I were suddenly on our own. I put our son in his car seat, glanced up at my husband, and thought, "Yay, here we go!" And then: "Wait, do we actually know what we're doing?"
We did and we didn't. Books, classes, and spending time with other people's babies can only prepare you so much, and as we drove away from the hospital, my confidence wavered.
Our first afternoon at home went smoothly - or as smoothly as can be expected, anyway. But that night, at about 3 a.m., just hours after we'd left the hospital with our son, we watched him choke and stop breathing for about four seconds.
His little eyes grew wide and I screamed as I held him up. My husband yelled his name, panicked, and with another choking sound, our baby started to breathe again. I watched as his eyes softened and the color came back to his cheeks. He seemed to be OK, but my heart still felt like it was lodged in my throat. It had come out of nowhere.
"I'm sure he's fine," my husband said, his face pale and unconvincing.
I hesitated. "Maybe we should call the advice nurse. Just to be sure."
He seemed to be OK, but my heart still felt like it was lodged in my throat.
We debated for a couple minutes, both of us wanting to call but also worried that we were hysterical over nothing. Each of us had slept a total of six hours, maybe seven over the past two days. Maybe we were just tired? After a bit of back and forth, we soon agreed that we'd rather be safe than sorry, and sure enough, the advice nurse urged us to take him to the emergency room.
She suggested we go because our son was so tiny and there had been complications throughout the delivery. "If there's any question that there might be a problem, I have to tell you to bring him in," she said. "But it's up to you as the parents."
Up to us, the parents. Ohmygod, I thought. We're parents.
The drive along an empty highway took about 15 minutes, and by the time we were sitting in a room and waiting for the doctor, both of us wearing mismatched pajamas, our son seemed fine. He had calmed down, and so had we. The insecurity set in that we'd probably overreacted.
"I'm embarrassed," I told my husband. "It hasn't even been one day and we're already freaking out."
"I know. I feel weird too," he said.
The ER doctor seemed a bit stiff when he introduced himself. As he examined our son, he ticked off questions about when the baby had eaten, how he'd behaved, and what we'd experienced in those first days. We gave him all the answers, and after checking our son's vital signs, the doctor said he was fine and that it may have been reflux, but he'd be OK.
Maybe it was the dark circles under our eyes or our mismatched pajamas or the way we shyly thanked the doctor and half-apologized for being there in the first place, but whatever it was, something made him pull out a chair and sit down.
"I'm 45 and I have three kids," he told us. "With the first one, we had no idea what we were doing, and we were nervous about every little thing. I thought it would be different with the others, but it wasn't. I'm still nervous all the time."
I started crying. I blamed the hormones and the sleep deprivation, but really, it was relief.
I started crying. I blamed the hormones and the sleep deprivation, but really, it was relief.
The doctor put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't feel silly for being here," he said. "Trust your instincts. This is your kid, and you did the right thing. You can bring him here in the middle of the night whenever you feel like you need to, OK?"
We nodded and he left, and I glanced at my husband, who gave me a tired, satisfied smile. "I'm glad we came," he said. "Even though I'd rather be sleeping."
"Me too," I agreed, grateful for a doctor who'd known exactly what we needed: reassurance, a little bit of encouragement. Kindness.
It's been nearly six months and I still think about that night all the time. There have been plenty of mini panics since then, and whenever I feel anxious about something, I let myself be afraid. I let my instincts kick in, I listen to my gut, and I remember that it's up to us, the parents, who mostly have no idea what we're doing. Which is totally, 100 percent OK.
Mom Shares the Sheer Heartbreak of Having Stillborn Identical Twins at 37 Weeks
When Jacqueline Hoy and her husband found out that they were expecting third and fourth children, these Australian parents were shocked. Neither had twins in the family, and after the initial surprise wore off, they began happily making plans for their expanding family.
According to Jacqi, who is also mom to 8-year-old Lachlan and 2-year-old Edward, her third pregnancy was uncomplicated. The couple decided early on to name their identical twins Henry and William, and the boys were healthy at every doctor's visit. However, when Jacqui woke up one morning near the end of her pregnancy, she knew something was different.
At this point, Jacqui was 37 weeks pregnant, and the doctors planned to induce her in a few days. "I saw the boys two days earlier during a scan and they were kicking and had normal heartbeats," Jacqui told POPSUGAR. "There was absolutely no indication that it would end the way it did."
Jacqui explained that her pregnancy was considered "high risk" because she was carrying multiples but never dwelled on that label any further. Until she woke up on that Monday morning, dropped her oldest off at school, and noticed that her twins were unusually quiet. "I drank a glass of ice and lay down on the lounge as this normally gets them moving," Jacqui wrote in a post for Whimn. "But after an hour I wasn't sure that I was feeling them at all. I then had a sudden urge to throw-up, so I called the hospital to come in."
When the midwife had a hard time finding the heartbeats, she wasn't too alarmed because she knew it could be difficult with twins, but when her obstetrician came in, he delivered the devastating news: Henry had died. "The overwhelming pain that took over my body was uncontrollable," she wrote. "I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare and I needed to wake up. But I couldn't escape."
The doctor found William's heartbeat and immediately performed an emergency C-section. "I remember lying on the table surrounded by what felt like 30 people working on me, telling me that I was okay and to keep breathing," she wrote. "But the whole time I wanted to yell and scream, 'Please just put me out. Make this pain stop.'"
When she started to wake up after the surgery, the first thing she registered was hearing her husband crying. She immediately understood what that meant and didn't want to open her eyes. She knew that as soon as she did, she'd be hit with the news that William didn't make it either. "The week that followed, all I had was questions, too much pain and the most unbelievable broken heart. I remember that somebody once said to me, 'You won't know love until you have a child.' I don't disagree with that statement," she wrote. "But I can assure you, you won't know heartbreak until you lose a child."
Since the devastating end to her pregnancy, Jacqui said that each day is difficult and surviving "the firsts" has been the hardest part. She explained that in the weeks that followed, her body didn't know that her babies had died. "It had to run its natural pre-birth course: of the milk coming in and recovery from a major surgery. Only I wasn't holding my two precious rewards at the same time," she wrote.
Doctors officially diagnosed Henry's death as an "unexplained stillbirth" and explained that William died due to their shared placenta. It's been three months since this unimaginable turn of events, and Jaqui's family of four is still trying to recover. "The constant reminders of the hopes we had for our family are often really difficult as well and seeing little bubbas when out and about pulls at the heart strings like you wouldn't believe," she said. "Some days my husband is my rock and other days I am his rock but we have found that we need to be really open and honest with each other about how we are feeling otherwise the partnership doesn't work."
In addition to publicly sharing their story, the parents have also become ambassadors for Stillbirth Foundation Australia in order to help prevent other families from enduring similar pain. "Six babies every day are stillborn in Australia, that's one every four hours," Jaqui said. "We are hoping that by coming forward, other families will feel confident in doing the same and this can help to create the awareness needed."
She also hopes that unity among families who have suffered this loss and being vocal about their tragedies will help to put pressure on governments for research funding. "Not having a reason why our babies aren't here with us breaks my heart every day," she said. "If more research is done, maybe we could then be given reasons why and they will be able to find out strategies to prevent it from happening to others."
Katie Fought Depression With Exercise - and Lost 137 Pounds
Katie Hug hit a breaking point with her physical and mental health when she hit 270 pounds and couldn't get out of her depression.
Katie: Before
While on a dozen antidepression and antianxiety medications - just to get through the day - Katie's weight had crept up and up. At one point, she asked her doctor not to tell her how much she weighed during checkups, but her doctor eventually expressed concern for her health. It wasn't just a few pounds she needed to lose - her life was at risk.
Fast forward to today: she's lost 137 pounds, she's cut all "addictions" from her life (from sugary sodas to bad relationships and even all 12 antidepression and antianxiety medications), and she's even inspired her husband and three children to fall in love with fitness . . . as a personal trainer. But she didn't get here without a lot of work; here's a little insight into her journey.
POPSUGAR: What made you decide to start your weight-loss journey?
Katie Hug: I was at a doctors appointment and she expressed to me her concerns with my weight. She said that I was in the morbidly obese category. I finally realized that if I wanted to change, I had to do the work. I was struggling with depression at the time, and I was ready to make changes in my life to get healthier and happier! [My weight gain came from] depression, anxiety, poor eating habits, food addiction, medication dependency, and lack of motivation.
"I eliminated unhealthy relationships from my life and started exercising. It was one of the hardest times of my life, but it turned me into who I am today."
I was very intimidated by the gym atmosphere, so I started short workout videos at home, started walking, and used MyFitnessPal to track my food. I was finally aware of how much I was eating, and I started making healthier choices.
PS: Can you tell us a little more about your struggle with addiction?
KH: My addiction issues started with medications as a young adult. I grew up with unhealthy relationships but was not aware that they were unhealthy until I started counseling. I overate as a way to cope. I fought all three by reaching out, asking for help, and being willing to change. I spent time in detox getting off all the medications, and started therapy. All of the suggestions that my therapist had, whether I liked them or not, I did them. I eliminated unhealthy relationships from my life and started exercising. It was one of the hardest times of my life, but it turned me into who I am today.
PS: What's your favorite way to work out?
KH: I love group training, and outdoor exercise! I love yoga for relaxation, and the stair climber for cardio.
Katie: After
PS: What's your weekly exercise schedule?
KH: Three days a week of strength training, four to five days a week of cardio.
PS: How do you keep workouts exciting?
KH: I switch things up! I also started an Instagram page, and I love to see what other workouts friends are doing and encourage as many people as possible. Helping other people helps me as well, and working as an American Council on Exercise personal trainer helps me stay on track and motivates my own workouts.
Katie: After
PS: What was the first big difference, other than the number on the scale, that really made you feel proud and excited?
KH: Finding muscles I didn't know I had! I remember how excited I was to see my calf muscle! That and wrapping a towel all the way around my body . . . and having room to spare!
PS: How do you track your weight loss?
KH: On MyFitnessPal.
PS: What's a typical day of meals and snacks?
KH: Protein pancakes, chicken breast, broccoli, bell peppers, cottage cheese, blueberries, spinach salads, and almonds.
PS: Do you count calories?
KH: Yes, but I don't stress about them. If I'm a little under or over, that's OK. I like to focus more on my protein levels, water consumption, and make sure I am getting enough veggies in. [I eat about] 1,400-ish.
Katie: Before and After
PS: What are the healthy staples that are always in your fridge?
KH: Cottage cheese, bell peppers, eggs, turkey bacon, broccoli, egg whites.
"You need support when making a huge life change. If you don't have it, find it."
PS: Do you use a fitness tracker? Which one, and how do you think it helped you?
KH: I have a few! I love my Polar watch for my workouts to see calories burned. I also use a Fitbit to track steps, sleep, etc. The trackers help keep you motivated, and I highly suggest getting one that works for you.
PS: What made you decide to become a personal trainer?
KH: I love helping people, and I have experience with being overweight. I know what it feels like to be uncomfortable in your own skin, and I want to help others achieve their health and happiness goals. Getting my certification with the American Council on Exercise was the perfect opportunity for me to do just that.
PS: What or who played the biggest role in your journey?
KH: Support is key. My husband was my biggest cheerleader and helped me stay on track. I have an amazing tribe of ladies at the gym who are always there when I need them, too. You need support when making a huge life change. If you don't have it, find it. Reach out and make new friends, find a support group, etc.
PS: What advice do you have for anyone starting out on a weight-loss journey?
KH: Consistency is key. Don't quit when things get hard . . . find that fire inside and keep going. Consider hiring an ACE personal trainer if you need the help getting started. Start tracking your food - every day. Track all the bad stuff, too. It will make you more aware of what you are eating. Cut out processed sugar. Drink lots of water, and keep your protein up. Most importantly . . . be patient and trust the process. It will not happen overnight. It takes time and consistency . . . and you CAN do anything you set your mind too.
Katie Fought Depression With Exercise - and Lost 137 Pounds
Katie Hug hit a breaking point with her physical and mental health when she hit 270 pounds and couldn't get out of her depression.
Katie: Before
While on a dozen antidepression and antianxiety medications - just to get through the day - Katie's weight had crept up and up. At one point, she asked her doctor not to tell her how much she weighed during checkups, but her doctor eventually expressed concern for her health. It wasn't just a few pounds she needed to lose - her life was at risk.
Fast forward to today: she's lost 137 pounds, she's cut all "addictions" from her life (from sugary sodas to bad relationships and even all 12 antidepression and antianxiety medications), and she's even inspired her husband and three children to fall in love with fitness . . . as a personal trainer. But she didn't get here without a lot of work; here's a little insight into her journey.
POPSUGAR: What made you decide to start your weight-loss journey?
Katie Hug: I was at a doctors appointment and she expressed to me her concerns with my weight. She said that I was in the morbidly obese category. I finally realized that if I wanted to change, I had to do the work. I was struggling with depression at the time, and I was ready to make changes in my life to get healthier and happier! [My weight gain came from] depression, anxiety, poor eating habits, food addiction, medication dependency, and lack of motivation.
"I eliminated unhealthy relationships from my life and started exercising. It was one of the hardest times of my life, but it turned me into who I am today."
I was very intimidated by the gym atmosphere, so I started short workout videos at home, started walking, and used MyFitnessPal to track my food. I was finally aware of how much I was eating, and I started making healthier choices.
PS: Can you tell us a little more about your struggle with addiction?
KH: My addiction issues started with medications as a young adult. I grew up with unhealthy relationships but was not aware that they were unhealthy until I started counseling. I overate as a way to cope. I fought all three by reaching out, asking for help, and being willing to change. I spent time in detox getting off all the medications, and started therapy. All of the suggestions that my therapist had, whether I liked them or not, I did them. I eliminated unhealthy relationships from my life and started exercising. It was one of the hardest times of my life, but it turned me into who I am today.
PS: What's your favorite way to work out?
KH: I love group training, and outdoor exercise! I love yoga for relaxation, and the stair climber for cardio.
Katie: After
PS: What's your weekly exercise schedule?
KH: Three days a week of strength training, four to five days a week of cardio.
PS: How do you keep workouts exciting?
KH: I switch things up! I also started an Instagram page, and I love to see what other workouts friends are doing and encourage as many people as possible. Helping other people helps me as well, and working as an American Council on Exercise personal trainer helps me stay on track and motivates my own workouts.
Katie: After
PS: What was the first big difference, other than the number on the scale, that really made you feel proud and excited?
KH: Finding muscles I didn't know I had! I remember how excited I was to see my calf muscle! That and wrapping a towel all the way around my body . . . and having room to spare!
PS: How do you track your weight loss?
KH: On MyFitnessPal.
PS: What's a typical day of meals and snacks?
KH: Protein pancakes, chicken breast, broccoli, bell peppers, cottage cheese, blueberries, spinach salads, and almonds.
PS: Do you count calories?
KH: Yes, but I don't stress about them. If I'm a little under or over, that's OK. I like to focus more on my protein levels, water consumption, and make sure I am getting enough veggies in. [I eat about] 1,400-ish.
Katie: Before and After
PS: What are the healthy staples that are always in your fridge?
KH: Cottage cheese, bell peppers, eggs, turkey bacon, broccoli, egg whites.
"You need support when making a huge life change. If you don't have it, find it."
PS: Do you use a fitness tracker? Which one, and how do you think it helped you?
KH: I have a few! I love my Polar watch for my workouts to see calories burned. I also use a Fitbit to track steps, sleep, etc. The trackers help keep you motivated, and I highly suggest getting one that works for you.
PS: What made you decide to become a personal trainer?
KH: I love helping people, and I have experience with being overweight. I know what it feels like to be uncomfortable in your own skin, and I want to help others achieve their health and happiness goals. Getting my certification with the American Council on Exercise was the perfect opportunity for me to do just that.
PS: What or who played the biggest role in your journey?
KH: Support is key. My husband was my biggest cheerleader and helped me stay on track. I have an amazing tribe of ladies at the gym who are always there when I need them, too. You need support when making a huge life change. If you don't have it, find it. Reach out and make new friends, find a support group, etc.
PS: What advice do you have for anyone starting out on a weight-loss journey?
KH: Consistency is key. Don't quit when things get hard . . . find that fire inside and keep going. Consider hiring an ACE personal trainer if you need the help getting started. Start tracking your food - every day. Track all the bad stuff, too. It will make you more aware of what you are eating. Cut out processed sugar. Drink lots of water, and keep your protein up. Most importantly . . . be patient and trust the process. It will not happen overnight. It takes time and consistency . . . and you CAN do anything you set your mind too.
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