dimanche 4 juin 2017

Why Early Miscarriages are Just as Devastating: "Time Doesn't Measure Love"

When someone shares that they had a miscarriage, it's natural to wonder how far along they were. But for those who have never been through this, you may not realize that the number of weeks or months doesn't define the sheer pain of her loss.

Alyssa Spencer miscarried at six weeks and although some might view her situation as "less" - less painful or devastating because she was still in the early stages of her pregnancy - this grieving mom is speaking out. "I may have only been six weeks along when we lost our baby but that was four months of planning and preparation and two months of trying," she wrote on Facebook. "It was ovulation test kits and endless amounts of pregnancy tests. It was disappointment when we didn't get pregnant the first try and endless amounts of joy when we got the positive pregnancy test the second try."

Instead of keeping her grief private, Alyssa is sharing her experience. She hopes this will not only put her pain into perspective but also empower other women who may feel ashamed of the grief they're feeling over an "early" miscarriage. "It was picking out names and planning how we would reorganize the house to fit another beautiful baby," she wrote. "It was announcing to our parents and siblings and keeping it a secret from others until we could make it through the first doctor's appointment."

Alyssa explained that some people might hear "just" six weeks but to her family, it was baby number two. "It was trips we were planning to the parks, zoos, and aquariums with two littles instead of one," she wrote. "It was our future."

After her own devastating loss, Alyssa realized how embarrassing it can feel to openly talk about miscarriages and hopes that others will confide in each other instead of feeling ashamed. "One in four women suffer from a miscarriage but still it is not talked about. This is no longer just a statistic to us, we are the statistic," she wrote. " It's OK to grieve the loss no matter how far along you were because time does not measure love."



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